In an interview with Seth Wickersham for this week's ESPN Magazine, Winslow reveals all the details of the staph infection that caused him to miss games and be suspended by the Browns after being critical of the organization. Given his history of wanton douchiness, you'd be hard pressed to sympathize with Winslow. Until now.

Winslow told ESPN's Seth Wickersham that he had to have fluid drained from his testicles to play in an Oct. 19 game at Washington…

Winslow told Wickersham that he woke up one October morning sore in the groin area, but figured the problem would go away. Winslow said by the next morning "my testicles were enlarged, to the point where it hurt to walk."…

Wickersham said Winslow passed it on to his wife Janelle. She was also hospitalized and the couple worried about it affecting their ability to have children.

Describing Winslow's treatment, Wickersham quoted Winslow as saying, "They had to drain it. They had a scalpel. They cut into it. I had to clean it every day with a Q-Tip, for two and a half weeks. It was the most painful thing I've ever been through."

Pardon me for just a moment…

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The Browns have had six players treated for staph infections since 2003. One of those players was high-priced free agent LeCharles Bentley, who nearly had to have his leg amputated after staph infected his surgically repaired knee. Bentley never played a single game with the Browns. And there you have the entire Cleveland franchise in a nutshell. Not only do they suck, but they also manage to nearly kill their players, or infect their testicles to the point where they have to be sliced open. What the fuck is going on with this organization? Do they wipe the shower floor with fresh Monkey feces every morning?

So yes, we feel a brief bit of sympathy for the Soldier Boy. And let's give him proper credit for still sticking it to his old lady, literally and figuratively, despite the coco nuts. Of course, this is Kellen Winslow. So it never takes him too long to steer back into Douchevania.

Wickersham wrote that he contacted several former Browns employees on why no one defended Winslow. Wickersham said those conversations revealed hard feelings over Winslow treating the trainers like he was their only patient, jeopardizing his damaged knee from a 2005 motorcycle accident by playing basketball in the off-season and his lewd locker room remarks.

Suddenly, a Q-Tip to the man's urethra seems fitting.

Winslow Reveals Staph Details [Ohio.com]

HT: KSK reader Kyle D

JoeBucsFan found out this information first hand when he popped by Winslow's football camp for a visit. The former Cane sized-up the blogger and then let him know about his major malfunctions:

When Joe was introduced to Winslow, the tight end asked who Joe worked for. When Joe answered, "JoeBucsFan.com," Winslow quickly turned to his wife and asked, "What's this guy been calling me again?"

"Sgt. Winslow," she answered.

Right away Winslow barked at Joe, "You're not going to say that no more, right?"

No less than two other times, Winslow asked, no, demanded in so many words, "No more of this sergeant stuff, OK?"

OK.

Ok! The "Joe" from JoeBucsfan would like people to know that Winslow wasn't threatening or scary when this happened, but the fact that it was mentioned three times during their brief little interview ensured that he was very serious about this request. Access to players — isn't it awesome?

In that vein, who do you think will be the first sports blogger to get punched in the head?

No More Sgt. Winslow [JoeBucsFan]

Winslow's appeal of his one-game suspension has been pushed back to Tuesday, meaning that he will miss Sunday's game in Jacksonville, so adjust your fantasy rosters accordingly. Winslow is seeking to recoup his $235,294 game check from last Sunday, lost when the Browns suspended him for one game for "conduct detrimental to the team." The ruling, however, will not likely end the controversy surrounding Winslow and his medical condition.

Sports' weirdest controversy centers around Winslow's condition, at first believed to be some sort of swelling of the testicles, then identified as a staph infection. When Winslow wanted to speak out about the true nature of his condition — and what he perceived as insensitivity by the Browns toward him while he was in the hospital — the team slapped him with the rather large penalty. At this point it's not even certain that Winslow actually had a staph infection. But one thing is certain: Staph has become an epidemic in NFL locker rooms, and most teams, like the Browns, are going to great lengths to keep it quiet.

This certain strain of staph — or, Staphylococcus aureus, as it should be referred to at formal dinner parties — is a bacterial infection that's resistant to the broad-spectrum antibiotics commonly used to treat it. It's something that until 10 years ago cropped up mainly in hospitals or nursing homes, but recently a certain strain has emerged in the professional sports community.

"Modern professional athletes have been taking antibiotics since they were kids, and quite simply, many of them have become resistant," said Alice Barron, director of OrthoSport Physical Therapy in Elkridge, Md., who was formerly on the athletic training staff at Stanford University. "Infections in pro sports settings have run rampant, period. You're seeing it now with healthier people."

In two of the more higher profile cases, Tom Brady has had setbacks in his rehabilitation due to knee infections, and on Thursday it was revealed that Peyton Manning had a staph infection that delayed his recovery from a knee injury this season.

“Staph or MRSA infections develop from person-to-person contact, shared towels, soaps, improperly cleaned whirlpools and sports equipment,” said Ron Courson, head athletic trainer at the University of Georgia in Athens. “Such infections usually appear first as pimples, pustules and boils.

"The pustules may be confused with insect bites in early states. The infections may also be associated with previous existing turf burns or abrasions. Without proper referral and care, more serious infections may cause pneumonia, bloodstream infections or surgical wound infections.”

Winslow says that he spoke out about his condition to, in part, protect his teammates. But Savage appeared on WTAM radio in Cleveland on Thursday saying that Winslow "really called into question the integrity of our medical staff and our organization.

"After all of us had been through since 2005, the comments really called into question the integrity of our medical staff and the organization as a whole," Savage said. "To compromise that trust after the Browns had stood by Kellen through the motorcycle episode and knowing without question we had done everything in our power to combat this staph infection problem, it just showed a lack of professional restraint.

"The Browns are bigger than one person, bigger than Randy Lerner, bigger than Romeo Crennel, bigger than me and bigger than any player on this team.

"We couldn't and won't allow one person to tear down the organization, so we had to do something."

Who is right here? Does it matter? There's a bigger problem at large than Winslow or the Browns; the NFL has itself a nice little epidemic, and needs to step up and address the problem.

Official Statement On Community-Acquired MRSA Infections [National Athletic Trainers' Association]
Winslow Case Set For Tuesday As Savage, Rosenhaus State Their Cases [Cleveland Plain Dealer]

This marks the third straight week that Winslow has sat out all or most of a Browns game due to what at first was reported as an undisclosed illness, which was then soon rumored to be "swollen testicles," technically known as hydrocele. The truth turned out to be that Winslow was suffering from a staph infection, which is something else entirely, and evidently something the Browns have had a real problem with in recent seasons. Winslow — understandably, in my opinion — wanted the swollen testicles rumors to stop, and claimed that the Browns were no help in that regard.

Winslow, who spent three days at the Cleveland Clinic earlier this month with an undisclosed illness, revealed he had a staph infection. He also complained that the team, which has had at least six cases of staph in the past three years, asked him to hide his illness. Winslow criticized general manager Phil Savage for not checking on him while he was in the hospital, said he felt like he was being treated like a "piece of meat," and revealed he considered requesting a trade.

So upon hearing Winslow's criticism, the Browns lowered the boom with the one-game suspension. The Browns cited privacy laws and Winslow's wishes when they initially declined to identify his medical condition. But when Winslow himself wanted the truth to be known, they told him to clam up. This did not sit well with Winslow. From the Washington Post:

"Regardless of how this was released the information would still remain the same," Winslow said. "I contracted staph, again. I spoke out on this because I felt it was the right thing to do and that is why I was so passionate about it. This has nothing to do with football and this has nothing to with my current contract situation. This is a health concern.

"I care deeply for my organization, my teammates, and the Browns fans. At no time was I ever trying to cause distress for the team or be a distraction but the fact remains there is a health issue that needs to be addressed further."

I'd be interested to hear from Browns fans as to their take on this. To me the team is totally in the wrong. I'd want to be traded too; you mess with my balls, you have a problem, suits.

Browns Suspend Kellen Winslow For 'Disparaging' Remarks [USA Today]

"I'm not going to tell you exactly," Winslow said. "It was really the Cleveland Browns' decision to keep it undisclosed and I agree with that. Just because I catch a football doesn't mean I should tell what's wrong with me or what happened. I'm back and I'm happy to be back. I think I'm good to go.

"I just feel because I play professional football and can catch a football, it doesn't mean I should let people into my personal business."

The AP story states that Winslow would not confirm nor deny that he was hospitalized due to an "infection." Winslow was in good spirits, though, and joked with reporters that he's determined to play this weekend if the team lets him.

"I'm a soldier," he said with a laugh while referencing the infamous postgame rant he made as an All-American at Miami. "I can joke about it now, man. It's just playing football. You're going to have to deal with pain, and this league is what have you done for me lately? I just enjoy being on the field."

Nicely done.

Browns' Winslow practices, could play Sunday [AP]

According to one source, the culprit might be an overdose of erection enhancing medication. We've all seen the warnings that advertise to call your physician if you experience some, um, prolonged discomfort in that area for a long period of time. Yet he was in the hospital for three days, which is a long time to be laid up for something like that. The other rumored problem was just your garden variety STD, which, as noted by many health websites, can lead to some infections that cause you know, swollen parts. But a few shots and some rest and he should be set to go.

Given the possible embarrassing reasons for his injury, Winslow will most likely hide behind HIPAA laws and the whole thing will be gone and forgotten once he steps on the field. But oh to be a fly on the ball in the Browns' training room the day before he was sent to the hospital.

Winslow remains questionable for Browns game versus Redskins [Plain Dealer]

It was first reported as an "undisclosed illness" and head coach Romeo Crennell seemed to think it wasn't too serious, saying "his arms and legs aren't falling off or anything like that." Notice there's no mention of the peach basket, though, which is could be in peril.

Hopefully he just slept on them the wrong way or is having some sort of odd physical reaction to new laundry detergent or something because nobody should have to be put through such torture and humiliation.

We'll update as soon as there is further clarification...

Winslow has swollen, um, parts? [PFT]

So, we took a look. From the original Roethlisberger post:

A serious story coming out of Pittsburgh: It appears Super Bowl hero Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was involved in a motorcycle accident about 45 minutes ago (11:30 a.m. ET) in Pittsburgh. The picture on KDKA's site is rather scary, and there's no word as of yet on his condition. We will keep you updated, and, of course, will be keeping good thoughts.

We, of course, weren't around yet when Winslow's cycle crashed — that was May 2005, and Deadspin wasn't born until September 2005 — but we did, when writing about Winslow's famous "I'm a SOLDIER!' rant, say this: "Interestingly, this was the exact same take Winslow's motorcycle had after his accident, about him." Now, to be fair to ourselves, we wrote about Big Ben when his health was still in question, and Winslow a year later, when it was clear he was fine, but the point is that the fact that the two incidents might have been covered differently because Roethlisberger was white and Winslow was black hadn't even occurred to us. Some might use that as some sort of cover, a "see, we don't even THINK about race!" But this is stupid. The fact that someone did not consciously think about something does not mean that it is not there.

In Jason Whitlock's column last week , he touched on the Bissinger madness but also bought up a criticism of our book that we've never quite addressed. NPR's Scott Simon had it first, but Whitlock has probably brought it to the largest audience. (Though this is Fox Sports.) Namely, the "jokes" in the Media Glossary section about black sportscasters talking "white."

When Scott Simon mentioned this in an interview with us months ago, we stammered and stumbled and generally sounded like a moron. This is because we were taken aback by it; it legitimately didn't occur to us that someone could take the impression from the book that we had some sort of problem with race. That does not mean that someone that who might infer that is somehow deluded, or just trying to cause trouble. It means they're not us, and that they can see something much clearer than we can.

Whitlock's column takes these Simon criticisms to the next level. We are not sure the book spends an "an inordinate amount of time telling prominent, successful, well-spoken African-Americans that they're not really black," but this does not mean this criticism of the book is not valid. Because, well, it is. The references in the book, to (and we don't have the book in front of us, so we may be off) the Gumbels and Ahmad Rashad, are cheap, lazy and not particularly funny. The joke we were trying to make was a mockery of the "Ohio accent," the slightly nasal, straight forward flat accent that every broadcaster has to contort himself/herself into. But it didn't read that way. It was lazy writing, rather than a pointed insult. (And why, you might ask, did we bring Tony Dungy into it? An excellent question that we do not have an answer for.)

But that's not really the point. Who cares what we meant? Nothing is worse than the apology that "we didn't mean to offend anyone." Well, of course not; the fact that you didn't think you were offending anyone is the reason that it's offensive. The point is that just because something was not conscious does not mean it's not there. An easy joke comes from somewhere, and it was one that was even repeated. We did not do it to mock black sportscasters. But there it is, regardless.

We were talking to Bomani Jones, who's very good at this writing business, the other day about the racist comments that inevitably pop up on any open forum, message board or comment thread. The most memorable instance of this, around these parts, was when Stephen A. Smith's site's launched, though, honestly, we think if you put a picture of a puppy as a blog post on a general AOL or Yahoo site, the n-word would come out by comment 20. Bomani was concerned it was indicative of a growing "angry white man" movement in the culture, reflected by the Web. We weren't so sure; we think it's more the nasty fringe element, bigots empowered by anonymity.

But we would think that, wouldn't we? We easily dismiss such comments as idiotic, the unfortunate byproduct of open forums, and move about our day. But that's our perspective. And that perspective, like all perspectives, as wrong as the next person's. It's easy for us to say that.

This is all to say: As we've said repeatedly, blogs are not a movement, or a single-minded entity. All blogs take on the personality of the author. Right now, the vast majority of those sports blogs are written by white guys. Bomani implored us: "You have to say something about this, because they won't listen to it from me." And he's right. If Scoop Jackson writes a column about race, well, there he goes again. This happened with Whitlock's column too. A nationally recognized sports columnist, on a widely read national Web site, calls us out, and we received a total of one email about it. Why? Because we think most people read the first few paragraphs about Bissinger, and then when they got to the part where Whitlock started writing about race, their eyes glazed over, and Whitlock turned into the voice of the teacher in "Peanuts." There he goes again, with the race stuff. There's a wall there that we, and most sports bloggers, don't have, due entirely to the audience. And Whitlock, and Jackson, and Bomani Jones, do. We might not mean this. It might be subconscious. But it's there.

So, friend, here it is: If you think those inevitable racist comments are just the ugly detritus of the Web and dismiss them with a wave of your hand ... you're probably a white guy. And If you hear us ever talking about what black people think, or how they should act, or whatever, completely ignore us, because we don't have the slightest fucking idea what we're talking about.

Creepy Kellen Winslow Video [Miami Sports Blog]

"You know, that was probably a poor choice of words. So if I offended anybody, I apologize for that...I don't know ... I guess because how we used that word freely, me growing up using that word, I didn't think anything of it. Like I said, I apologize to anyone I may have offended. I didn't mean to offend anybody but Kellen Winslow. That's pretty much that. I don't want to put any more into it...Whatever I say is going to be on an extra level anyway. But like I said, I didn't think it was that big of a deal when I said it anyway. So it's over with it."

We love that Porter says he only meant to offend Winslow by calling him a "fag;" as Michael Scott put it, "You don't call retarded people retards. It's bad taste. You call your friends retards when they are acting retarded. And I consider Oscar a friend." We also enjoyed the ESPN story about this, which contained the following quote: "The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reported that the slur Porter used is a derogatory term sometimes uttered to describe homosexual men." Nance? Pegboy? Which was it? (There are tons here.) We think it's possible that Joey is just a little, oh, confused.

Joey Porter Issues "Apology" [Towleroad]
Who Put This Thing Together? [Just Sayin']
Aaron's Dictionary Of Gay Terms [Aaron's Gay Info]

So we'd never actually seen this old video of Kellen Winslow Jr., after a Miami game against Tennessee. He is answering a question about whether or not a player he leveled with a devastating block was hurt. And we get confirmation that Kellen Winslow, tight end for an Ohio football team, is a soldier.

Interestingly, this was the exact same take Winslow's motorcycle had after his accident, about him.