In a monumental ruling for kickball fans everywhere WAKA, LLC (World Adult Kickball Association) v. DC Kickball has been dismissed. So I guess it's not monumental at all. The case was filed in February 2006. Why? WAKA alleged that DC Kickball stole their kickball rules. And if you've ever lived in D.C., this suit doesn't surprise you because you know that kickball is one of the three most important things to white people in the city. The other two are who you work for and rooting for gentrification to hurry up. The Washington City Paper has the details on the dispute.

WAKA, also known as the World Adult Kickball Association, alleged that Carter Rabasa, founder of DC Kickball, had violated copyright laws because his league used the same kickball rules as WAKA.

Those are also pretty much the same rules used by third graders everywhere. No third graders were named as defendants.

In their response DC Kickball had the temerity to accuse WAKA of being the "Microsoft of Kickball." From there legal pegging ensued — to the tune of $300k in legal bills. Unfortunately your gym teacher's retainer check for his expert witnessing on kickball is never going to get cashed.

Federal Kickball Case Goes Away Quietly [Washington City Paper]
Kickball trial of the century [Steady Burn]

Some wisdom from the official site (which even has a song!), about the rules:

We will only be using WAKA's official rules as loose guidelines. For instance, WAKA requires that players kick the ball with their feet. We will allow hobbled zombies to use any intact body part to move the ball - in fact, dismembered parts of other bodies will also be allowed.

Kickball is a simple game consisting of two teams, bases and a big red ball. Played like baseball, the object is to score more runs than the opposing team. Zombie Kickball will play with 11 fielders and 5 innings - base coaches, bouncies, headshots, forced outs, and ghost men are all negotiable. Proper respect and civility will be required of all participants toward one another at all times.

To explain the game:

We love zombies, as you might know. Our favorite zombie movie is "Zombies Vs. Sharks," in which Zombies and Sharks fight each other. The ocean is not an easy environment for zombies to thrive, but dammit, thrive they do.

I'm always going to have a soft spot for kickball. Without it, I might never have learned about the birds and the bees. True story: In 3rd or 4th grade, one of the really smart kids wanted to be on my kickball team, and I said he could, if he would define "sex" for me. And he did. And that is the beginning of how I became the ultra-masculine Lothario that you're reading today. It's all because of kickball.

I just wonder what other recess activities people are taking seriously. Is there a Professional Hopscotch Lleague? A Worldwide Tetherball Tour? A National Smear the Queer Association?

Playground Bully [Washington City Paper]
World Adult Kickball Association [WAKA.com]