We Figured Out How To Shoehorn Kim Kardashian's Shiny Ass Onto Our Site

All week, we've been wondering how we could get Kim Kardashian's large, glistening ass on Deadspin. She didn't make it easy for us, did she? She could've held a football, for instance. Or she could've scheduled a mountain stage of the Tour de France along her adductors. Kim did no such thing, however, and people who… » 11/14/14 3:33pm 11/14/14 3:33pm

The Newest Celtics Look So Very Sad

Every single quote from the introductory press conference for Kris Humphries, MarShon Brooks, and Keith Bogans just leads you further down into the pit of infinite sadness. » 7/15/13 5:37pm 7/15/13 5:37pm

Kris Humphries And Kim Kardashian Are Finally Divorced

This one's for everyone who laughed about Kris Humphries's and Kim Kardashian's sham marriage. Sure, she filed for divorce after 72 days. But because of their drawn-out legal battle, which finally ended today, they were husband and wife for one year, eight months, and nine days. That's 618 days of true love. » 4/19/13 5:49pm 4/19/13 5:49pm

Thunder Fan Gets All Skeeved Out After Touching Kris Humphries

In case you didn't know, sweaty athletes are really sweaty, so we don't recommend reaching out to touch them as they walk by. Right around the 10-second mark of the video above, keep your eye on the woman in the blue shirt. Much like Kim Kardashian, she seems eager to get a piece of Kris Humphries, at least until… » 1/03/13 10:55am 1/03/13 10:55am

New York City Nightclub DJs Will Not Stop Tormenting Kris Humphries

This story from the New York Daily News' gossip blog would make you feel bad for Kris Humphries if there wasn't something so undeniably hateable about him (it's mostly his face). Apparently, Humphries was trolled by two DJs at an NYC night club (the same one in which Tony Parker got his eye gouged during the… » 12/21/12 1:32pm 12/21/12 1:32pm

Watch A Referee Block Kris Humphries's Free-Throw Attempt

Well here's something you don't see every day. About midway through the fourth quarter of last night's Nets-Raptors game, Nets forward Kris Humphries stepped to the line to shoot two free-throws. Pretty standard stuff. That is until referee Courtney Kirkland comes flying in and tries to stop Humphries from shooting… » 12/13/12 9:35am 12/13/12 9:35am

Kevin Garnett Calls Kris Humphries "Out Of Control"

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The Nets-Celtics fight, revisited. » 11/30/12 6:10pm 11/30/12 6:10pm

Rajon Rondo Didn't Take Too Kindly To Kris Humphries' Foul On Kevin…

Celtics guard Rajon Rondo wasn't just going to sit back after this Kris Humphries throwdown on Kevin Garnett, so (despite an eight-inch height differential) he sacrificed his 37-game streak of 10 or more assists to start an epic shoving match that looks to have been completely punchless. Humphries can't really be… » 11/28/12 9:25pm 11/28/12 9:25pm

The Nets Pulled Off A Perfect Double Alley-Oop

This one was executed so perfectly, it's almost as if the Nets drew up this double alley-oop in the first quarter of a win over the Mavericks. While it's not the first one we've seen this season, DeShawn Stevenson to MarShon Brooks to Kris Humphries certainly breaks the record for most capital letters in the first… » 2/29/12 10:55am 2/29/12 10:55am

The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night

The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a long time to come.… » 1/24/12 11:35am 1/24/12 11:35am

It's Going To Be A Long, Miserable Year For Kris Humphries

Kris Humphries's summer sideshow was entertaining but seemed ultimately irrelevant: his dalliances with Kim Kardashian and with reality TV were in the universe of entertainment and celebrity, not our sports universe. We'd get our jokes, E! gets their ratings, Humphries and the Kardashians make a quick buck, and we… » 12/22/11 11:40am 12/22/11 11:40am

Pre-Kardashian Kris Humphries Went On A Date With One Of Jon Huntsman's…

Things are looking up for Kris Humphries, the NBA free agent who spent 72 days married to Kim Kardashian. Last we checked in with him, he had to deal with a "KRIS IS GAY!" tabloid cover, and he had survived what was—unofficially—the worst year ever. » 12/16/11 5:15pm 12/16/11 5:15pm

Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid…

As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marriage with Kim… » 12/08/11 2:55pm 12/08/11 2:55pm

Prestigious Sportswriter Makes Prestigious Publication For His Kim…

I think we'll all remember today as the day the internet made the same three jokes 80,000 times. (As I write this, #ThingsLongerThanKimsMarriage and #kimkmarriagewasshorter are dueling for the top spot on Twitter's trending topics.) But it takes a certain kind of man to toss out the obvious obvious and craft a tweet… » 10/31/11 7:30pm 10/31/11 7:30pm

Kim Kardashian And Kris Humphries Were Able To Tolerate Each Other For…

Serial athlete seducer Kim Kardashian filed for divorce from NBA free agent Kris Humphries today, ending a 72-day marriage and/or publicity stunt. We're as unmoved as you are, because everyone saw this coming even before they each stepped out without their wedding rings—but we are concerned for the future of… » 10/31/11 2:00pm 10/31/11 2:00pm

Kim Kardashian Files $20M Lawsuit Over Ad Featuring Ex-Boyfriend Reggie…

Yesterday, a woman who built a "reality star" career from a sex tape that turned her ass into a household name filed suit against a clothing store for featuring a woman who built an "Old Navy commercial star" career from looking like the woman with the sex-tape ass. Fun fact: reality star is New Orleans Saints RB … » 7/21/11 11:30pm 7/21/11 11:30pm

The Kim Kardashian Effect: Advanced Stats Show Why Kris Humphries Put A…

Nets forward Kris Humphries put up great numbers in the seventh season of his NBA career, his first as Kim Kardashian's beau. The couple announced their engagement (with a disturbing description of an "intimate family celebration" involving horses), and while there are no shortage of possible motives (love, reality… » 5/25/11 4:20pm 5/25/11 4:20pm