But not everything Dumars touches turns to gold. Don't forget that he drafted Darko Milicic instead of Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, Dwyane Wade, David West, Chris Kaman, and Josh Howard. He also signed a one-legged Chris Webber, and we all know how that ended.

His latest move: He signed Kwame Brown. Yes, the infamous Kwame Brown. The question is: Why? On the surface, it seems ridiculous, especially for someone as universally acclaimed for his GM skills as Dumars is. After all, Brown is widely considered one of the biggest busts in NBA draft history.

Really, though, signing Brown is a no-lose proposition for Dumars. (Well, unless Kwame starts attacking people with birthday cakes again.) First of all, in case you haven't noticed, most of the big and little name free agents have already been signed. And although it seems like he's been around (and underachieving) forever, Brown is only 26 years old. He's also seven feet tall, 270 pounds and pretty athletic (even if he does have hands of stone). As Hubie Brown likes to point out, you can't teach size.

Additionally, while the Pistons are indeed over the $59 million salary cap, they're under the luxury cap of $70 million. Which means they still had a little money to spend on Brown...and a little money is all they're spending: The two-year deal is worth $4 million per. What's more, Brown can opt out of the second year of the contract, so Dumars might be hoping for a little Contract Year Phenomenon. In other words, that Brown - perhaps sensing this may be his last chance to score a big-time contract - will play his absolute ass off this season (and maybe next season as well) to prove his worth to other suitors.

The bottom line is, Dumars wanted a backup big man on the cheap, and that's what he got. Brown, for all his faults, has career averages of 7.5 PPG and 5.7 RPG...which is about what you want from your backup center. If Brown finally bursts out of his shell and submits a career-defining performance this season - however unlikely - Dumars will look like a genius. And if he doesn't, well, he loses out on a rather small investment out of which little was expected in the first place.

We can't think of any athlete more worthy of a special VIP table than Kwame Brown; it seems the perfect pre-Rose Bowl palate cleanser. But we hope no one brings a cake.

Party With Kwame Brown On New Years Eve [You Been Blinded]
Kwame Brown Has No Concerns About Excess Flour Intake [Deadspin]

In a police report, Alexander Martinez said he left his 30th birthday celebration at about 1:45 a.m. Saturday with an uneaten 2-by-2-foot birthday cake and walked north toward the Blue 32 nightclub. Martinez told police he first came upon Lakers forward Ronny Turiaf, who he said agreed to pose for a photograph with him and the chocolate cake. But outside of a club the 6-foot-11, 270-pound Brown came along, grabbed the cake and threw it at Martinez, according to the report. Brown got into a white limousine and left, Martinez claimed in the report, although he didn't suggest any reason for the cake toss.

Martinez reported that he then walked up to Lamar Odom as the Lakers forward left Pedone's Pizza and confronted him about the cake, which was splattered on the birthday man's back.

We can't imagine what Brown might have wanted with a poor guy's 30th birthday cake — though we point out, Mr. Martinez, that a grown man isn't supposed to have a cake for his 30th birthday; he's supposed to have a threesome — but we love the comedy of errors that ensues when a bunch of Lakers have street altercations with pastry. Remember when everyone thought Lamar Odom was gonna be a disciplinary problem? This must have been what they were talking about!

Oh, and poor Kobe: No matter how many points he scores, his teammates still just won't invite him out anywhere.

Lakers' Brown Takes The Cake, But Won't Be Prosecuted [ESPN]