Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos. (NSFW)
Yesterday, after much debate and "controversy," the Baltimore Ravens finally traded for Steve McNair. Until McNair's legs fall off — we have Week 8 in the pool — he will take over the starting job for Brian Billick and his Nevermores.
Today is a beautiful day, and not just because Jay Bilas is in Kuwait. No, today the news came across: Kordell Stewart could be returning to the NFL, likely with the Ravens again to help with the injury to Kyle Boller. This is fantastic news, because, as the old maxim goes, Nobody Denies They're Gay Like Kordell…