Deadspin
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nfl
Chicago, Meet Your New Quarterback: Jay Cutler
In somewhat of a stunning move in the, wow-that-happened-fast sense, the Denver Broncos have traded Jay Cutler to the Chicago Bears for, well — A LOT. More »
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By DAULERIOComment by Shakey: Fuck this noise, don't you guys see the Chris Weaver band is playing at 10:30? 10 Responses | Other threads
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kyle orton
He Can Have Fun Without A Jack Daniels Bottle
One lucky Des Moines middle school student had her wish granted — for Bears' ragamuffin quarterback Kyle Orton to come have morning breakfast with her. [Des Moines Register]
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By DAULERIOComment by Weed Against Speed: Good lord, which one of the kids did he let give him a haircut? 4 Responses | Other threads
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nfl
Kyle Orton Solemnly Vows To Never Be Drunk On Camera Again
That's his promise. In his new role as the Bears starting quarterback, Orton has sworn that he's all business and that his hard-partying days of internet lore are long behind him. He's a new man — a married man — who won't give his teammates a reason to question his leadership abilities this time around. He's more mature and refined; he's a man with a plan, a 50-cent razor and 10-cent arm. But he's the Bears quarterback: More »
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By DAULERIOComment by all hail blue and gold: dude, Orton, yes, lose the lazy eye and we'll talk. 4 Responses | Other threads
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kyle orton
The Prodigal, Bloodshot, Neckbearded, Booze-Swilling Son Returns
In the past hour there have been no less than three emails with "The Neckbeard Returns!" as the subject line. This is either a bold move or an absolutely desperate one, but it's true: Kyle Orton is the starting quarterback for the 2008 Chicago Bears' season opener. Orton overcame Rex Grossman in the "open competition" portion of the Chicago Bears training camp, edging out the starting spot thanks to a pre-season campaign which was not exactly eye-popping, but moderately un-Grossman like.
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nfl
Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton? A Coin Flip Shall Decide Chicago's Quarterbacking Fate
It's only July and already Bears fans are terrified. Who's going to start at quarterback: The mediocre bearded guy or the mediocre short guy? Well, even the players themselves can't decide. So they did what any reasonable, competitive football player would do...they flipped a coin. Cue the Chicago Tribune: More »
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By Clay TravisComment by Uecker Seats: Bears should offer Hester for Favre straight-up more » | Other threads
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kyle orton
Kyle Orton Is Just Getting Warmed Up
Don't worry, folks: Deadspin Hall of Famer Kyle Orton isn't going anywhere: He'll be back in the Bears uniform next year. More » -
kyle orton
A Kyle Orton look-a-like makes hibiscus vanilla cocktails on Grand Rapids cable television. Boy, this truly is the season that keeps on giving, huh? [WZZM 13] -
kyle orton
Kyle Orton Takes Step Toward REAL Hall Of Fame
There is some sort of perception that, somehow, we're making fun of Bears quarterback Kyle Orton for his induction in our Hall of Fame. Nothing could be further from the truth. We cheer for Orton full-heartedly and with complete sincerity; it's easy to root for a guy who's obviously having that much fun. More » -
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camera friendly
And Ladies ... He's Single
No real reason for this post, except to point out that this is possibly the most awesome image of Kyle Orton ever captured. More »
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By rickchandComment by Come a little Miroslav Klose You're My Kind of Man: @Kid Canada: Lovie: Rex Grossman pulls a lot of trim in this community, Orton. You don't pull shit. Stay out of... more » | Other threads
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monday night football
Purple Jesus And His Pop Warner Buddies
Far be it from us to impugn the reputation of a team that has won five in a row and looks, on paper, to be one of the hottest teams in the NFL, but ... heavens to Betsy, if that's what a playoff team looks like, sheesh, when's baseball season? More »
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By LeitchComment by lorne bialystok: Poiple Jesus > "I am Legend" night freaks (but by a hair). more » | Other threads
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By LeitchComment by kirkvanhouten: Buzzsaw. Ankiel. Now Orton.Does Will need a hug?Or be put on suicide watch? Don't blow it Zook. more » | Other threads
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monday night football
It's Purple Jesus Vs. The Neckbeard
Yes, yes, tonight's "Monday Night Football" game is somewhat key to deciding that last playoff slot in the NFC, and it's nice to have an MNF game mean something. But who cares about Purple Jesus and the Vikings. It's Kyle Orton's night to shine! More » -
kyle orton
All Kyle Orton, All The Time
Just for fun, in honor of his start this Sunday, here are some more random photos of Deadspin Hall Of Famer Kyle Orton. We know, it's impossible not to find these, but nevertheless: We just can't get enough. These were taken in Paris, which proves Orton's going international. Go Kyle: Give 'em hell Sunday. More » -
bear down
There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself. More »
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By LeitchComment by Bison Dele's Fantastic Voyage: '98 Bengals : Neil O'Donnell, Paul Justin, Eric Kresser. Picking the Bengals in this would be cheating if it weren't for... more » | Other threads
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nfl
The NFL Doesn't Want You To Get Drunk
So the NFL is running a contest called Take A Player To School Day, which encourages kids between the ages of 6 and 12 to apply for a player to accompany them to school. More » -
deadspin hall of fame
Hall Of Fame Inductee: Kyle Orton
Presenting the next member of the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame ... More » -
nfl
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Kyle Orton
Before Ben Roethlisberger, before Matt Leinart, there was Bears quarterback Kyle Orton. At the time the famous Kyle Orton photos were taken, back in early October, the Bears were in first place and Orton was their starting quarterback. Four days later, Orton was addressing them in a press conference. More » -
cultural oddsmaker
Cultural Oddsmaker: Death Becomes Them
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail.
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By LeitchComment by Arn Ziffel: JJ Redick in a horrible accident involving a tainted batch of Mike's hard lemonade. "Cold, hard, dead." more » | Other threads
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nfl
Oh, You Didn't Forget About Kyle, Did You?
He might not drink like a champion, but his efforts have nevertheless clearly reached the level of "epic" and "historic" in recent years. His name is Kyle Orton. He is but one man, but his achievements will outlast us all. More » -
baseball
Hank Blalock's Workout Regimen
It's drunken athlete pictures day here at Deadspin. While these can't quite compete with the raw lunacy of plastered "Drink Like A Champion" pictures of the starting Super Bowl quarterback, the glorious ladies at On The DL — big congrats to them on their mention in the Boston Herald, by the way — have dug up shots of the Rangers' Hank Blalock liquoring up with his personal trainer. More » -
nfl
The Broncos' Secret Success Ratio
As evidenced by our 3-5 record of predicting playoff games so far (straight up, no spread), we're notoriously lousy at pigskin prognostication. It's not like this has been the easiest postseason to predict anyway; we can only think of one prediction system that would have led to a correct Steelers-Broncos AFC Championship Game prediction. More » -
nfl
Kyle Orton, A Cop With ATTITUDE
Our affection for Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is well-documented, so we couldn't help but point out this photo, taken last Monday at Crobar in Chicago. (Linebacker Brian Urlacher was there as well, but he doesn't photograph as well, and besides, we don't want to taunt Michael Flatley any more than we already do on a daily basis.) More »
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By LeitchComment by Boston Fan in Michigan: Several of my friends and I independently reached the conclusion that Kyle Orton, with his weak trembly lips and disturbingly... more » | Other threads
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nfl
Orton: To Beard, Or Not To Beard
One would think Chicago Bears fans wouldn't want to mess with a seven-game win streak, but, then again, Bears quarterback Kyle Orton is looking pretty ridiculous this days. More » -
nfl
NFL Roundup: Down Goes Tice!
• What's funnier than Mike Tice being rolled over and knocked down on the sideline? Nothing, that's what. By the way, we find Tice's dopey sideline celebrations undignified, and Tom Coughlin's constant gyrations of fury incredibly amusing. More » -
nfl
Orton's Surprisingly Healthy Attitude
We have a hard time making it through Sports Illustrated anymore, so we missed this quote from your friend and ours Kyle Orton, whose pictures of drunken carousing in Iowa City earlier this year were first seen on Deadspin. More » -
nfl
NFL Roundup: A Costly Fumble
• It's pretty astounding that fan guy in Cincinnati was able to run on the field during the Packers' closing drive. First off, they were at midfield, which means he had to run at least 50 yards, probably more, without someone beating him to Brett Favre. (Note: The next time you're in Cincinnati, bring your own security.) Never mind that he could have stabbed National Hero Favre as he drove down the field for an epic comeback. He actually stole the ball. Can you imagine? Could there possibly be a bigger security snafu than that? More » -
nfl
NFL Roundup: Portis' Head
• Contrary to popular belief, Redskins running back Clinton Portis was not doing an impersonation of Yankees center fielder Bernie Williams chasing a fly ball while doing that cartwheel in the end zone yesterday. Good guess, though. More »
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By LeitchComment by http://davidgilmore.blogspot.com: When Kyle Orton doesn't shave he looks suspiciously asian. more » | Other threads
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nfl
NFL Roundup: Davenport Craps Out
• After intercepting an Anthony Wright pass in the end zone, Lions defensive back Dre Bly honored injured Packers running back Najeh Davenport by doing a spitting-image impersonation of him. Which was nice, we thought. More » -
nfl
Orton, Bears Acknowledge Drooling Jack Daniels Photos
For all you poor souls who doubted the authenticity of our Kyle Orton getting bombed pictures, stand up and recognize: The Bears and Orton addressed the pictures yesterday. More » -
nfl
Bear Down, Chicago Bear
Far be it from us to tell starting quarterbacks of first-place NFL teams how to spend their bye week, but we couldn't help but post these pictures — sent to us by a reader — of Bears QB Kyle Orton, at a bar in Iowa City over the long weekend. It was taken on Thursday, hence the Blue Jays-Red Sox game in the background. More » -
oddjack
Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... More »
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