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Posts Tagged “
Lance Armstrong
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That Lance Armstrong-Olsen twin thing is getting more creepy. [Radar Online]
tour de france
cycling
You Cannot Hide From Lance Armstrong
Far be it from us to insinuate that Lance Armstrong is still in the heads of the French cycling establishment, but now they're accusing him of breaking into their email. More »
lance armstrong
Iowans Are Easily Entertained
"Wow, look at Lance Armstrong, eatin' that pie. Just look at him."
"I wonder if there's EPO in that pie."
"Is he going to eat the whole thing?"
"He might. He's got incredible endurance."
"Screw pie, man. You wanna see someone eat some pie? I'll eat some goddamn pie. I'll eat five of them."
"Just calm down, Stuart."
"Bet me."
"I think I want a divorce."
"Hey, I heard he's only got one ball."
"Ask him."
"No, YOU ask him."
"Shut up, Steven."
"Why do you need a helmet to eat pie?"
"Or gloves."
"Do you realize that we've been here for an hour, watching Lance Armstrong eat pie?"
"I should probably get a job." More »
cycling
Apparently, Lance Likes It In The Rear Too
For all the talk last week about the supposed "offensiveness" of Lance Armstrong's joke at the ESPYs about Jake Gyllenhaal "liking it in the rear," many have noticed that the non-doping Tour de France dominator and the guy who looks like Spider-Man but isn't have been hanging out a bunch of late. Their interaction has been an international mystery that has plagued sports fans for minutes ... no, hours! More »
cycling
Cycling To Kill Time Between Doping Scandals
The Tour de France is underway, despite the fact that four of last year's top five finishers have been banned from the competition for being dirty, dirty, dopers. Meanwhile, the other one of the five is currently cruising through Iowa. I'm not sure if it's possible to dope on corn. More »
tour de france
Get Ready For Tourgasm, 2006
Lance Armstrong will not be participating in the Tour de France this year; he got word that astronomers have found traces of his lost home planet, and he's gone there to investigate. So that leaves it to the mortals to fight over the remains, and if early indications are correct, the French aren't going to be happy. Yes, it's that time again, as earth's finest sprocket-related sporting event gets underway on Saturday in several hard-to-pronounce hamlets in the European countryside. If you're going, please be mindful of marked cycling lanes and Robin Williams. More »
lance armstrong
The French Are Shockingly Persistent With This
The French media's treatment of Lance Armstrong is starting to make the American media's treatment of Barry Bonds look downright Jason McElwain-ish. They're still hung up on the idea that they can somehow prove that Lance Armstrong used steroids, EPO, or some other sort of performance enhancer. More »
indy 500
Jalopnik's Last Missive From Indy
For those of you who weren't around this weekend, our corporate (and spiritual!) friends at Jalopnik were at the Indianapolis 500 this weekend and did their best to cause all kinds of trouble. (They also informed us that Danica Patrick is "much hotter in person." Noted.) More »
lance armstrong
Sheryl Crow No Longer Obligated To Wear Plastic Yellow Bracelet
Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow have split up, offering up an emphatic "no" to the question of whether or not he is strong enough to be her man. More »
cycling
Lance Armstrong Puppy Updates!
Remember back when ESPN was actually providing updates on the health of Lance Armstrong's dog? Well, we can't just blame them anymore; the Associated Press has take up the cause of Lance's puppy, which was apparently born with a defective valve in its heart, as if any of you could possibly care. More »
blogdome
• We repeat: ESPN was encouraging people to send Lance Armstrong's dog a get-well card. We are not kidding about this. [The Mighty MJD]
• Was the Redskins' win last Monday really one of the best moments in team history? Really? [Saved By The Blog]
• The Sports Frog gives you the hot news of the day, when you need it, with no stone unturned. [The Sports Frog
• The tale of Juan Cruz. [Athletic Supporters]
• A dance off turns violent. Don't they all. [Bad Jocks
Blogdome: Don't Make White Sox Fans Angry
• When you're in the middle of a frantic pennant chase, it's very, very bad when your cable provider can't even figure out how to put your games on TV. [South Side Sox]• We repeat: ESPN was encouraging people to send Lance Armstrong's dog a get-well card. We are not kidding about this. [The Mighty MJD]
• Was the Redskins' win last Monday really one of the best moments in team history? Really? [Saved By The Blog]
• The Sports Frog gives you the hot news of the day, when you need it, with no stone unturned. [The Sports Frog
• The tale of Juan Cruz. [Athletic Supporters]
• A dance off turns violent. Don't they all. [Bad Jocks
leftovers
• Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace]
• Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
• Let's just paint a bullseye on those rib pads: Eagles' McNabb to start on Sunday. [Philadelphia Will Do]
• Anthony Johnson no lo contente in Palace brawl charges. [Freep]
Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry]• Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace]
• Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
• Let's just paint a bullseye on those rib pads: Eagles' McNabb to start on Sunday. [Philadelphia Will Do]
• Anthony Johnson no lo contente in Palace brawl charges. [Freep]
leftovers
• Assist leader: Magic Johnson shows the love to Katrina victims by offering jobs that aren't on television talk shows. [LA Daily News]
• San Antonio to host four Saints games, but the music won't be nearly as good. [Big Easy Blog]
• Salon columnist makes Week 1 NFL picks, compliments Buzzsaw uniforms. [Salon
Leftovers: Peddle Your Rumors Elsewhere
• Cycling Union: Lance is no dope. [Tour of Texas Cycling]• Assist leader: Magic Johnson shows the love to Katrina victims by offering jobs that aren't on television talk shows. [LA Daily News]
• San Antonio to host four Saints games, but the music won't be nearly as good. [Big Easy Blog]
• Salon columnist makes Week 1 NFL picks, compliments Buzzsaw uniforms. [Salon
lance armstrong
The Invincibility Of Lance Armstrong
Well, it appears that Lance Armstrong has been hit with more doping allegations. We understand that Armstrong is unpopular with the French, and that they're convinced he's blood doping. We also understand that we don't really care, because it's freaking cycling, and now that Armstrong is retired, none of us are ever going to care about cycling again. More »
Hey, You Got A License For That Thing?
Someone just sent us this photo of America's sports hero Lance Armstrong, in the early days. Nothing much more we can say here. Lance Armstrong [Official Site]
Someone just sent us this photo of America's sports hero Lance Armstrong, in the early days. Nothing much more we can say here. Lance Armstrong [Official Site]
