Among the $385 million dollars in Indiana's unclaimed property fund is a benefits payment for Bird, totaling all of $80. But he's not the only sports figure.

Reggie Miller has $1,073 waiting for him. Dwight Freeney has $526 with his name on it. The municipal corporation that runs Indianapolis's stadiums is owed $1,374, which I'm sure will make up for the $20 million annual hit it takes on Lucas Oil Stadium, thanks to the sweetheart deal they gave the Colts.

Update: Reader Christopher, a long-lost Hardy Boy, finds that Charlie Weis is owed a cool 40 bucks by Terminex. Still got those termites, eh Charlie?

Update No. 2: Urban Meyer, for some reason, is owed $60 by General Electric. And Lou Holtz is owed nearly $30,000, including unclaimed wages from Universal Studios.

Bird, Mellencamp Among Well-Known Hoosiers With Unclaimed Cash [AP]

•••••

And that's all 'til tomorrow. I know it's tough having two weekend daddies, but you have to be tolerant of alternative lifestyles.

According to interviews Thomas gave to Sports Illustrated this week, the biggest head turner in the book is the claim—made by Magic and his agent, Lon Rosen—that after Johnson was diagnosed with HIV in 1991, Thomas was the one spreading rumors that Magic might have contracted the virus because he was gay.

"Isiah kept questioning people about it,'' Magic says. "I couldn't believe that. The one guy I thought I could count on had all these doubts. It was like he kicked me in the stomach.''

Thomas says that's "bullshit." His own brother died of AIDS and he says he knows better than to spread rumors like that. Thomas also claims that he was the one who led the charge to get Magic a spot in the 1992 All-Star Game, when most of the players were refusing to take the court with an HIV+ player—a fact that's conveniently left out of the book. Now he's furious to discover that this legendary friendship was apparently a sham.

"It's so hypocritical,'' said Thomas, "There's this public person and then there's this b.s. person. There's Earvin and then there's Magic. OK, I understand you've got to sell a book. But if this is how you sell it, then who's kicking who in the stomach? And it's just like the line he perpetuated that he got me the Knicks' job. Oh, yeah? Ask [Knicks owner] Jim Dolan. Call Barry Watkins [the Knicks' senior VP]. That's a lie.

"You're talking about being two-faced? Magic says he put me up for the job, that he was showing up in hard times and telling me everything was OK. And I come to find out he's been the one stabbing me in the back. ... I'm really hurt and disappointed, particularly with the Olympic team, if he was doing that stuff.''

The last part refers to another item in the book, where Magic basically admits that Isiah was shut out of the Olympic Dream Team because no one wanted to play with him. He also blames the whole "Jordan freeze out" at the '85 All-Star Game on Thomas too. Meanwhile, Isiah says the even bigger lie is Magic's current friendship with Larry Bird. ("Magic hated Larry, and he tried to make other people hate Larry.")

It takes a special kind of jerk to make people feel sorry for Isiah Thomas, but Magic just might be that guy. Whoever you believe, it's pretty clear from this sordid tale—and Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame speech, among other incidents—that pretty much every superstar you idolized as a kid is a selfish, insecure, backstabbing prick. Of course, that's also why they were all such awesome basketball players.

Isiah Thomas blasts Magic Johnson over criticisms in new book [SI.com]

You know who else is white? Larry Bird, the Pacers president and the whitest white boy of all time. In a league that is almost 90% non-white guys, Bird has assembled a roster that is 50% see-through and just drafted the whitest of white hopes, Tyler Hansborough. So what gives? Does Bird secretly have a thing for his pale brothers?

Red (Auerbach) never saw color. And I don't, either. I just pick them. If we hadn't taken Tyler Hansbrough, it would have been Ty Lawson. And if I could have gotten another pick (later in the first round), I would have taken Sam Young or Wayne Ellington."

So he's really just prejudiced in favor of Tar Heels? Anyway, Kravitz then points out that eight of Bird's 10 draft picks have been black and that he once famously said that he was insulted when teams tried to guard him with a white guy. So why would you even ask such a silly question?

In the end, it's not about black and white, but the bottom line is printed in black and white.

Wins and losses.

And nothing else matters.

Oh, so I guess he's not racist. He just loves to lose.

Bob Kravitz: Are Pacers too white? No, all Bird cares about are finding guys who can play [Indianapolis Star]

Most frighteningly, as The Serious Tip points out, their collective voices sounds like ... well, an old friend.

Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ...

• Let's Tip A Glass For The Late, Great Dennis Johnson. The above video, of course, depicts one of the great moments in Celtics history. Larry Bird has his signature on "The Steal," but who except Celtics' fans remember that it was Dennis Johnson's heads-up cut to the basket for the pass from Bird which provided that Boston victory in 1987? Johnson, a guard who had a 13-year NBA career, which included three championships wit the Celtics, died on Thursday of a heart attack at age 52. The D-League coach had just completed practice with the Austin Toros when he collapsed. How good was Johnson? Bird called him the best he ever played with, so there's that.

• Heat Handcuffed By DWI (Dwyane Wade Injury). A Mavericks-Heat rematch without Dwyane Wade is kind of like no rematch at all, but don't tell Dirk Nowitzki. The Big D scored 31 points and had 11 rebounds in a 112-100 win over Miami; Dallas' 10th straight win. Wade, who was series MVP last season as Miami beat Dallas for the NBA title, is considering season-ending surgery after dislocating his left shoulder Wednesday night in a loss in Houston.

• Kings Win! Kings Win! Wait ... what? John Salmons' apparent 3-pointer with 0.7 remaining sent the Kings onto the floor to celebrate sending the game to overtime with the Wizards on Thursday. But the officials then ruled it a 2-point basket, and then reviewed the video, which contained more bad news for Sacramento. The replay showed the basket was a 3-pointer, but it was released after the buzzer. No basket. Wizards win! Wizards win! (109-106). Gilbert Arenas scored 43 points for Washington; 30 in the first half.

• Cavaliers Rejected, Dejected. Ben Wallace's 14 points, 19 rebounds and season-high seven blocks led the Bulls over the Cavaliers 84-78. LeBron James had 29 points for the Cavs.