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Last Night

about last night

About Last Night

I feel a great disturbance in The Force ...
• NBA: Derrick Rose goes to Bulls with No. 1 pick; Knicks' fans cheer enthusiastically for their top choice (just kidding; they take to the streets and riot as expected).
• Tennis: The days of Andy Roddick are finished. Let the Janko Tipsarevic Era begin.
• MLB: Gulf of Mexico side rules, Atlantic Ocean side drools. Rays sweep Marlins.


can't we all just get along?

About Last Night

What you missed while celebrating your city's choice as the Nation's Sweatiest City ...
• NBA: Jermaine O’Neal to be sent from Pacers to Raptors for T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic, 17th pick in the draft and a player to be named. But it's not official yet, so don't spread this around. [Yahoo Sports]
• College World Series: It's a nonstop celebration in Fresno! (crickets).
• MLB: Stand in front of the Twins, get run over like you've been hit with a Chinese tank.


onward to mayhem!

About Last Night

What you missed while cowering before the might of Milk & Cheese, Dairy Products Gone Bad ...
• College World Series: Fresno, birthplace of Cher, Kevin Federline and Trent Dilfer, represent! This series is tied.
Spain invades Wimbledon, enslaves native people, demands to know where gold is hidden.
• MLB: Twins Peak ... Minnesota beats San Diego 3-1 for seventh straight victory.


engage

About Last Night

What you missed while observing just another typical day in Arkansas ...
• College World Series: Hey Bulldog ... Georgia takes 1-0 series lead over Fresno State.
• Tennis: Federer Express ... Roger Federer, Serena Williams among usual suspects to win first-round Wimbledon matches.
• MLB: Ben Sheets, you're my hero. Brewers 4, Braves 1.


let's get this week started

About Last Night

What you missed while listening to Class Clown long into the night ...
• College World Series: Year of the Bulldog ... Georgia will meet Fresno State in finals. Where's that Snausages vendor?
• NHL: Hockey's Cold War is here. First on Russia's list: Destroy Moose and Squirrel.
• MLB: As relievers-turned-starters go, Justin Duchscherer is near the top of the list. Athletics 7, Marlins 1.


DQ'd

About Last Night...


What you missed while kissing the oranje goodbye in a most tasteful manner...
• MLB: Micah Owens and the Diamondbacks fell 6-1 in Minnesota. You'd think they'd let him bat, but no.
• CBB: The Tar Heels survive elimination thanks to another late home run.
• Boxing: Chazz Witherspoon was fortunate to be disqualified against Chris Arreola. More on the unusual decision to come.

TGI Friday Ahunanya

About Last Night

What you missed while marching on Fairfax with your friends from the JDL...
• Boxing: Robinson Caruso's man-servant exposed the Butler, a previously undefeated heavyweight fraud.
• MLB: The "hottest team in baseball" ran into Edinson Volquez.
• CWS: Tim Federowicz was the hero for UNC with a ninth inning grand slam that secured a 7-3 win over LSU.

something weekend this way comes

About Last Night

What you missed while realizing that you can't go more than six months without seeing this video ...
• MLB: Mariners fire John McLaren, promise more housecleaning; won't be satisfied until Ichiro is left standing on field by himself.
• Beijing Olympics: Dwyane Wade to be named to U.S. Olympic basketball squad. Rejoice.
• MLB: Rays get Chicago's goat, sweep Cubs.


what could possibly go wrong?

About Last Night

What you missed while kicking around the fire footbag ...
• MLB: Yankees win sixth straight, would like you to witness the power of this fully armed and operational battle station.
• College World Series: Porn name or future major league star? Cord Phelps helps Stanford eliminate Miami, 8-3.
•Soccer: Scoreboard operator dozes peacefully during Brazil vs. Argentina World Cup qualifier.


set phasers on fun!

About Last Night

What you missed while loading the photon torpedoes of love ...
• NBA: Celtics beat Lakers 103-83 131-92 to take series, move on to face ... wait, it's over? The NBA season is over? Oh blessed summertime, I can embrace you now! Fresh air, flowers, glorious sun! WE ARE FREE!
• College baseball: Smack that ... LSU stays alive in CWS with dramatic win over Rice.
• MLB: The Jerry Manuel Era in New York begins predictably. Angels 6, Mets 1.


everybody up

About Last Night

What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ...
• MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6.
• Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland.
• NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there.


Monday monday, can't trust that day

About Last Night

The joke is on the leopard ... he got off at the wrong stop ...
• It was awfully nice of the Lakers to allow the Celtics to win the NBA title at home. (NOTE: Should LA come back and win this, this post never happened. Got it?).
• MLB: Yankees beat Astros 13-0, and you can make your own damned Wang joke.
• Soccer: WhoooEEE! That was one country ass-whoopin'!


ward cleaver conspicuously absent

About Last Night...

What you missed while shopping for the ten best fictional dads for Fathers Day...
• U.S. Open: Tiger Uppercut! The one-and-a-half-kneed wonder leads Lee Westwood by one shot. But will we see the Hundred Hand Slap prevail in the final round?
• NCAA Baseball: Stanford scores 11 runs in the 9th to beat Florida State 16-5. In other news, when I heard Jason Isringhausen was going to make a rehab appearance, I thought it'd be in his own minor league system and not in the College World Series.
• MLB: Kevin Youkilis 10th inning home run lifts Red Sox over Reds, 6-4. They're not booing, they're sa.... oh, wait, they are booing.

they had a good run

About Last Night

What you missed while attending the retirement party for your commenter screenname, the one with the dangly hyphens...
• U.S. Open: Tiger Woods would be in first, if it weren't for that meddling Stuart Appleby.
• MLB: Yankees beat 'Stros 2-1, and Joba Chamberlain is up to six — 6! — innings. Ah ah ah.
• CFL: In case you're wondering what happened to Timmy Chang, Canada happened to him. Hamilton Tiger Cats beat Winnipeg Blue Bombers 12-10 in preseason.

something weekend this way comes

About Last Night

What you missed while being reminded once again that you don't mess with the Zohan ...
• NBA: That's what you get for turning off the game in the third quarter. Celtics take 3-1 series lead over Lakers.
• Golf: You can all just eat Kevin Streelman's U.S. Open dust, suckers!
• NHL: All your Lester B. Pearson Award questions have finally been answered.


well, let's go; this site ain't gonna read itself

About Last Night

All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ...
• MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2.
• Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose?
• NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Smith signs for $70 million with Saints.


good morning

About Last Night

What you missed while preparing to flee into outer space ...
• NBA: March toward inevitable Game 7 continues ... Lakers 87, Celtics 81.
• MLB: I sense a great disturbance in The Force ... Noooo!
• NHL: Ron Wilson, fired by Sharks, finds employment in Canada.


donuts. is there anything you can't do?

About Last Night

What you missed while noticing that the head of the World Health Organization's department of HIV/AIDS has an unfortunate name ...
• Ruud van Nistelrooy sends Italians to brink of World Cup qualifying doom.
• NFL: In non-Ruud van Nistelrooy news, the Bears cut Cedric Benson.
• Agent Zero opts out of contract with Wizards, demands a pony and back rubs.