Deadspin: laveranues coles

Can You Tell Them How To Get (How To Get) To The Playoffs?

Leitch — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 17:00:22 EST

This photo, from today's New York Times, shows various New York Jets hanging out with Elmo on "Sesame Street." We loved "Sesame Street" as a kid, and have little desire to make fun of the show or anyone for appearing on it. That said, right after this photo was taken, Coles and Elmo shared stories of their similar childhood experiences, and then Mangini ate him.

J-E-T-S Are A Hit On Sesame Street [New York Times]

Coles Gets His Oprah Moment

Leitch — Wed, 19 Oct 2005 10:10:49 EDT

As promised, Jets wide receiver Laveranues Coles appeared on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" to talk about his being molested by his stepfather as a child. As you might expect, Coles cried, Oprah cried, everyone cried. (Dick Vermeil came by, he cried, Jimmy Swaggert came by, he cried, Sean Penn came by, someone killed his daughter, he cried, it was a big party.) Coles wore a very nice shirt.

Tomorrow on Oprah: A straight man goes gay for 30 days! Stay tuned for that; we expect a Todd Zeile appearance.

Oh, we're not sure exactly which moment of the show the above photo was taken; we're hoping it's not right after Coles unveiled his "secret."

Coles: So, yeah, you'd see a look in his eyes, and you'd know he was coming into the room that night.
Oprah: Wee!

Oprah.com [Official Site]
Coles To Tell Oprah-Worthy Tale On Oprah [Deadspin]

Coles To Tell His Oprah-Worthy Tale On Oprah

Leitch — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 17:00:13 EDT

Jets wide receiver Laveranues Coles spoke out last month about being molested by his stepfather, and tomorrow he will reap the inevitable glory: He'll talk about it on "The Oprah Winfrey Show." He will appear with an "entertainment reporter and Park Avenue socialite" who went through the same ordeal; the episode has already been taped, though we weren't able to figure out when.

We have chronicled before the strange obsession Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson has with Oprah, and how he's said he'd do "anything" to get on her show. We suggest Chad rethink that idea.

Pro Football Player's Secret Shame [Oprah.com]
Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete? [Deadspin]
Johnson Keeps Swooning Over Oprah [Deadspin]

Laveranues Coles: Stepping Stone To A Gay Athlete?

Leitch — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 15:30:06 EDT

Is Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused by his stepfather the equivalent of a professional athlete coming out of the closet as a gay man? We wouldn't think so, but OutSports' Cyd Zeigler Jr. says they're more similar than you think.

It takes a very big person to talk about something most of society would consider embarrassing - and the hyper-masculine world of professional sports sees anything that might question their masculinity as the most embarrassing of all. ... What Coles has done is nothing short of what it will take for a gay man to come out as gay in the NFL.

Eh, we're still not convinced. We're not even sure Coles deserves — or would even want — to be "saluted" or anything like that. This is something he had carried around with him for a long time, he needed to tell the world so he could make it easier for himself and others and that's it. How it relates to anything else — particularly the notion of a gay athlete coming out — is beyond us.

NFL Wide Receiver Discloses Molestation [OutSports]
Coles' Burden Lifted [Newsday]

Blogdome: PBR Me ASAP

Leitch — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 10:48:40 EDT

• How can you not root for a golfer who wears a Pabst Blue Ribbon hat? [The Mighty MJD
• Page 2 is beginning to make us cry. [Off Wing Opinion]
• A tribute to Reggie White that, mercifully, doesn't include blatant homophobic rants. [Black Athlete]
• The St. Louis Rams: The most dysfunctional franchise in the NFL. [Sports Frog]
• OutSports.com, under fire on the Bravo network. Who knew they put gays on that channel? [OutSports]
• Will Laveranues Coles' admission that he was sexually abused bring more athletes' stories to the forefront? [TrueHoop]
• It's always sad when NASCAR racers fight. [The Unofficial Everybody's NASCAR Nextel Cup Blog]
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NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues

Leitch — Mon, 19 Sep 2005 08:55:17 EDT

• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a microwave until it began to bubble up and then finally burst, and then you covered that exploded head with months-old maple syrup and planted it in a field of fire ants ... you'd have an approximate physical manifestation of how Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper feels right now.
• You know what would be really funny? If the Lions finished 4-12 this year, and GM Matt Millen was like, "Joey Harrington just needs more weapons" and then drafted him another wide receiver.
• If Brett Favre killed a man at midfield right before a game-ending drive that failed, afterwards, he would be called "heroically unconventional" by Peter King and Len Pasquarelli after the game. Well, as long as Favre still gave out the phone number to his Mississippi farm, where he's always out mowing when they call.
• Oh, and we just read the following sentence from Pasquarelli, about Jags QB Byron Leftwich: "Swathed in more ice than the body of Ted Williams, bearing huge discolored splotches and limping noticeably, Leftwich settled in front of a locker stall following a 10-3 defeat, looking like one oversized 250-pound welt. Had the Colts been charged with assault and battery by the local constabulary, the prosecutor would have only had to present a naked Leftwich to the jury, and deliberations would have lasted maybe 30 seconds." Doesn't that sound kind of like the "romance novel" that Mr. Garrison wrote on "South Park?"
• We are 100 percent that the reaction to the news that Jets wide receiver Laveranues Coles had gone public with the fact that he was sexually abused as a child by the majority of football fans was, "we can't believe he didn't get in the endzone on that play to the 1. We're starting T.J. Houshmandzadeh next week; Coles could have had two TDs."
• Speaking of fantasy football, it was totally a good idea to start Eagles linebacker Mark Simoneau as our fantasy football kicker rather than Lions kicker Remy Hamilton. Just a last-minute hunch.
• Lesser people, they might consider abandoning their team if a potential game-winning final drive were lost by a freaking false start penalty. Not us. Just don't mention the Buzzsaw to us today, OK?