Deadspin: lawrence taylor

And After He Took The Shot, He Beat The Crap Out Of Both Of Them

DAULERIO — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:15:20 EDT

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap

If there's one former NFL player I'd avoid at a bar (besides Sean Salisbury),it'd be former Lawrence Taylor. Although he's become a tad cuddlier in his post-NFL career, he still possesses the scary unpredictability of an ex-convict or a baby circus elephant. Yet, these two brave souls sidled up to the former Giants linebacker in Vegas, shared a shot and left unscathed. Thank God they didn't try to put a small child on his back or make him stand on his hind legs.

*****

Good morning. It's Thursday. Amazingly, more batshittery awaits.

Lawrence Taylor Is Easing Into NFL Elder Statesman Role Quite Nicely

DAULERIO — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 17:30:11 EDT

"A lot of the guys will sit there and live football. Every Sunday they're glued to the t.v. watching football. I don't watch football. I'd rather watch two people fuck" [Sports Radio Interviews]

Lawrence Taylor To Become Newest "That Guy From The Dancing Show"

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:05:21 EST

LT to be the next awkward oversized athlete on "Dancing With The Stars." He should have no problem breaking his partner's leg. [Sports Hernia]

Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug

DAULERIO — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:00:33 EST

That's the second time that phrase has been used today, but in this case it seems much more appropriate. This will air on Friday's "Best Damn Sports Show Period". I love how terrified Chris Rose looks after it happens. It's almost like he's just realized that Lawrence Taylor is, in fact, crazy and may start throwing the furniture around.

This video can also be found at this fine establishment.

Pac Man Is "Wrestling" At The Wrong Time

Leitch — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 15:40:18 EDT

Before your proverbial panties are proverbially bunched by Pac Man Jones not really wrestling, the fine gents at Rich Kotite Banged Your Mom remind us that, in the olden days of 12 years ago, NFL players didn't just wrestle, they headlined Wrestlemania. There was no worry about injury back then, though, because everyone knows you feel no pain when you're on cocaine.

A Board Meeting With LT

Leitch — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 13:15:02 EDT

Can you imagine being in a corporate conference room with Lawrence Taylor? Wouldn't that have to make your week? If it happened on a Monday, we'd coast around our cubicle with a happy, dancing, spritely air ... Lawrence Taylor was here! In our conference room! Fucking shit up!

Well, if you ever wondered what it would be like ... it's pretty much exactly what you thought.

Agency head starts in with a brief credentials spiel, when, suddenly, LT interrupts with a pressing question.
LT: WHERE'RE THE BITCHES?
(a couple of nervous guffaws followed by awkward silence.)
LT: NO REALLY, YOU GOT ANY BITCHES WORKING HERE?
(flashes big LT smile)
I don't really remember how the rest of the meeting went.

God. We would just love for LT to hang out with us all day, like, just makin' toast and shit.

Celeb Dish Meeting [Copyranter]

Old Athletes, Still Getting Fired Up

Leitch — Mon, 30 Jan 2006 14:00:40 EST

Weekend emperor The Mighty MJD dug up this fine tidbit of fun from The Miami Herald: Apparently a slightly intoxicated (really!) Lawrence Taylor caused a big scene at a Miami nightclub last week, embarrassing Michael Jordan and a not-gay-at-all Charles Oakley.

People are buzzing about Lawrence Taylor's bizarre behavior at Prime 112 last week. He reached for a bottle from the wrong table, approached Michael Jordan's table and loudly yelled, "Ladies and gentleman, Michael Jordan!" An embarrassed Jordan put his head in his hands. Charles Oakley tried to settle down L.T.

First off, we like the idea of Oak still hanging around Jordan, setting picks, clubbing anyone who gets too close to his table. And our man LT! MJD brings up the notion of a Oakley-LT fight, giving the edge (as we do) to LT, depending on "amount of crack coursing through LT s veins at that particular moment." Honestly, these guys are going to be whacking people with their canes in the year 2035, and it's gonna be fantastic.

We Hear ... [Miami Herald] (via The Mighty MJD)

20 Years After Theismann And LT

Leitch — Fri, 18 Nov 2005 13:30:50 EST

WSJ's The Daily Fix alerted us to anniversary that, like just about everything does anymore, succeeded in making us feel old: Today is the 20th anniversary of Lawrence Taylor's brutal hit on Joe Theismann, breaking his leg and ending his career. (The Washington Post has a fantastic story about this today.)

If you're really feeling like you would rather return the lunch you just had to sender, you can watch the video of the play right here. Watching it, we had actually forgotten how terrified LT looks when he starts waving for help from the sidelines; how nasty does something have to be to scare Lawrence Taylor? Also, if you need to know how far the NFL on television has come in two decades, simply look at the "reverse angle" shot of Theismann's injury; it appears to be the only camera they had at the stadium. Cute.

The Hit That Changed a Career [Washington Post] (via The Daily Fix)
Theismann's Broken Leg [Extreme Sports Clips] (VIDEO)

"They Just Need To Give 'Em All BATS!"

Leitch — Thu, 10 Nov 2005 11:00:18 EST

We found this photo of "The Sopranos"' Vito Spatafore and video game shill Lawrence Taylor, and even though it has nothing to do with the rest of this post, it made us laugh, particularly considering Vito's quiet preferences on the show.

We were reminded of Vito's intense desire to get Meadow's boyfriend Finn to go to a Yankees game with him when we saw this homemade video of an older Yankees fan complaining about the security at Yankee Stadium and, freestyling for us a little bit, transitioning into a rather inspired hysterical rant about airline security. Not the most P.C. thing in the world, to say the least, but undeniably funny. Enjoy.

Bat Day [Gorilla Mask]