Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering turkeys, Bueller, blast chillers, and more.

Everyone's so damn afraid of carbs. Over ten years after Dr. Atkins' New Diet Revolution warned dieters worldwide about the fattening power of the potato, the low-carb revolution is still in full effect. This is insane, because carbs are delicious. Fuck a protein shake, am I right?

Monday night, the Alabama Crimson Tide mercilessly clobbered Notre Dame in the BCS championship game. According to Alabama, it was the school's 15th national football title. Football has been an intercollegiate sport for 142 seasons, starting in 1869 (no one played in 1871). So that should mean that Alabama has won…

After a 2-14 season, the Chiefs fired head coach Romeo Crennel today. Here's a selection of photos commemorating his impactful tenure.

1.

1. Fourteenth
2. Fifth
3. Fourth
4. (tie) Thirteenth
4. (tie) Fifteenth
4. (tie) Nineteenth
7. Ninth
8. First
9. Sixth
10. Eighth
11. Seventh
12. Sixteenth
13. Twenty-fourth
14. Seventeenth
15. Twenty-third
16. Twenty-sixth
17. Twenty-fifth
18. Twenty-seventh
19. (tie) Third
19. (tie) Twentieth
21. Twelfth
22.

An occasional miscellany (with a head nod toward this great old post on Runner's World's website).

Tyler Perry, tired (temporarily) of wearing dresses in his own movies, stars tomorrow in Alex Cross, playing the titular character of James Patterson's series of novels. Here is a semi-comprehensive list of everything Tyler Perry pretends to do in Alex Cross, in order. Spoilers abound.

Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering the roaches, porn estates, dead NFL players and more.

Earlier this week, SI.com published its Twitter 100, a list of Twitter feeds that Sports Illustrated staffers considered "essential to their daily routine for finding news, information and entertainment from the sports world."