Mario Balotelli's Supposed New House Is Cool And Good

This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's rumored to have… » 9/04/14 11:16am 9/04/14 11:16am

British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli

We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Telegraph has fucking » 8/21/14 11:46am 8/21/14 11:46am

Kosovo Club Offers Luis Suárez Chance To Play During FIFA Ban

Had you heard of K.F. Hajvalia out of Kosovo? Nah? Well, now you have. The Kosovan Superleague club offered Luis Suárez a contract to play for peanuts during the four-month, worldwide ban imposed by FIFA for biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini. Kosovo, while part of the world, obviously, isn't fully recognized by FIFA… » 6/30/14 10:33pm 6/30/14 10:33pm

The 2013-14 Premier League Season Was Well And Truly Fucking Awesome

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. There was pessimism, hope, and ultimately failure. There was schadenfreude; oh, was there schadenfreude. There were also huge games, mesmerizing goals, and more twists in the title race than a M. Night Shyamalan movie (but actually good). To cap off an especially… » 5/13/14 3:23pm 5/13/14 3:23pm

You'll Never Flop Alone: Sad Scenes From The Last Of Liverpool's Season

On Sunday, I watched the deflating end of Liverpool's season from various points along Anfield Road, not far from the team's stadium and headquarters. The result was the culmination of a slow-motion regression to an unhappy mean. Having entered the stretch run looking like a lock to win the Premiership and having… » 5/13/14 2:19pm 5/13/14 2:19pm

Heartbreaking Draw Almost Certainly Ends Liverpool's Title Challenge

There is no God. Money does buy happiness. Might overcomes beauty every time. These are the harsh realities soccer fans must begrudgingly accept after Crystal Palace's shocking 88th minute equalizer gave Liverpool a draw—a result that all but mathematically kills their miraculous championship dream. » 5/05/14 5:08pm 5/05/14 5:08pm

Liverpool Would Have The Biggest Turnaround For A Champion In 29 Years

The race for the Premier League title got a lot closer this Sunday, as Liverpool fell to Chelsea and Manchester City topped Crystal Palace. With one fewer game played, City holds the goal differential tiebreak over Liverpool, and is currently a 4/5 favorite to win it all. » 4/28/14 12:37pm 4/28/14 12:37pm

Steven Gerrard Slips, Allows Demba Ba To Score Easy Goal

In stoppage time at the end of the first half of Chelsea-Liverpool, Steven Gerrard slipped on a nothing play and allowed Demba Ba to coast right in on goal, with only the keeper to beat. Ba scored and Chelsea have a 1-0 lead in a game that could decide the Premier League title. Naturally, we added "Yakety Sax" as a… » 4/27/14 10:32am 4/27/14 10:32am

Alvaro Negredo's Goal Won Man City The Biggest Game Of The Season

Whenever you have, coming into today's games, six teams within six points of the league leaders, nearly every week will bring a matchup that seems like the Game of the Season. But while many of those earlier competitions ended up being cagey affairs with both sides playing to avoid defeat, today's Manchester City vs.… » 12/26/13 4:55pm 12/26/13 4:55pm

Luis Suárez Just Scored The Goal Of The Season From 40 Yards Out

Note: Luis Suarez does not "lob" the keeper here when he scores here from eons away on the half volley. This is a flat out smash of a shot. And it was just the first. Suarez scored again in the 29th and 35th minutes, for a first half hat trick against Norwich. Plus, he added a screamer of a free kick in the second… » 12/04/13 3:22pm 12/04/13 3:22pm