Deadspin: long island ducks

If It Walks Like A Duck And Whatever This Duck Is Doing To This Poor Man....

DAULERIO — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:54:11 EDT

Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to tips@deadspin.com. Subject: Morning crap

This is all the email says: "Here's a pic of Long Island Ducks mascot Quackerjack and his arch rival." The Long Island Ducks are part of the Atlantic League Of Professional baseball, if you didn't know. Granted this photo of possible mascot-on-human simulated backdoor intercourse is not as graphic as, say, Tyler Thigpen's rear-ending of a skeleton or Andrei Kirilenko slip-sliding a devil, but let's not quibble over details like this on a Sunday morning.

It is Sunday, right?

Anyway. Good morning-ish. Now wake up.

Jay Gibbons Finally Finds A Home

Rick Chandler — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:00:11 EDT

After his rather famous letter to 29 major league teams recently in which he asked for another shot at baseball with a minor league contract, former Oriole and HGH connoisseur Jay Gibbons was rather surprised to get exactly zero offers. But determined to get back into the game somehow, Gibbons has prevailed. It's just s step down from where he figured to be.

Former Orioles outfielder and club Most Valuable Player Jay Gibbons will return to professional baseball next week with a team in the independent Atlantic League. Gibbons, whom the Orioles released in March, several months after he admitted to using human growth hormone and agreed to a Major League Baseball-imposed suspension, said he expects to sign with a New York- or New Jersey-based Atlantic League club by today and should be in uniform within days.

Gibbons, 31, is already guaranteed $11.9 million by the Orioles for the 2008 and 2009 seasons, but said that he just wanted to get back into baseball because he loves the game. "I got some responses that were positive, but I never received a firm offer." he said of his letter, which was first obtained by ESPN.

So, which team do you suppose it will be? The Bergen Cliff Hawks? York Revolution? Bridgeport Bluefish? My money is on the Long Island Ducks. In addition to being the only pro baseball site that quacks when you call it up, it is also the former home of Jose Offerman, who tried to take a bat to a pitcher during a game last season, and John Rocker. And he may even score him a sweet Bud Harrelson bobblehead.

Gibbons To Join Atlantic League [Baltimore Sun]
Jay Gibbons Begs For A Shot In Letter [Sportsnet.ca]

Jose Offerman's Comeback Attempt Hits A Minor Snag

rickchand — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 10:00:35 EDT

As you surely knew, everyone's favorite smoldering volcano of goodness, ex-major league All-Star Jose Offerman, is playing for the Long Island Ducks of the Independent Atlantic League this season. Or, he was, until he went after opposing players with a bat on Tuesday night. Let's see Bonds try this.

Offerman homered in the first inning. The next inning, he was hit by a pitch from Bridgeport's Matt Beech and charged the mound with his bat. Offerman hit Beech in the hands and struck catcher John Nathans in the head. The game was delayed for about 20 minutes because of the melee. Offerman, Beech and Bridgeport manager and former major league pitcher Tommy John were all ejected.

Offerman was arrested following the game (exact charges remain unspecified) and bailed himself out last night. He is now resting comfortably in a padded room.

Hey, what I want to know is, where was the team's goddamned duck mascot? If own the Long Island franchise and I sign Offerman, I make sure that duck's only job is to keep an eye on him and if things go wrong, charge out there and distract him like a rodeo clown. Even during away games.

Ex All-Star Arrested For Hitting Foes With Bat [MSNBC]
Ex-Big Leaguer Offerman Arrested After Bat Incident [USA Today]

What's The Deal With Juan Gone?

Leitch — Tue, 18 Jul 2006 11:45:35 EDT

Juan Gonzalez has always been one of the more confounding baseball players. The guy won two MVPs, is 34th all time in home runs and was the guy we were certain was going to someday break Hack Wilson's RBI mark. Sure, he was moody and unusual, but not any more so than Albert Belle, who actually didn't self-destruct nearly as dramatically as Gonzalez did. As recently as two years ago, when he was with the Royals, we thought he'd make a triumphant comeback. We didn't think the cliff was that close, or went that far down.

Anyway, some mystery about Gonzalez this week: He has apparently been put on the inactive list of the Long Island Ducks under mysterious circumstances. (He was hitting .300 with a homer for John Rocker's old club, which is nice.) Gonzalez's bio is still on the Ducks' Web site, and we're having a hard time tracking down any more info. That Juan Gonzalez could really collapse so much that we're the only ones who noticed this — as opposed to Jose Canseco's minor league hijinks, which we'll get into later — is just astounding. What happened?

Name Dropping [Kansas City Star]