Several top sporting alienists agree on the positive benefits of the Barrymore Win, those laced through with drama. Sure, they count no more than the 10-1 kneeslapper to the bookkeepers of the game, but when a squad emerges victorious whilst squeezed by pressure, the release can have a knock-on effect. These Magellans of the psychosis must be giddy about the exploits of your Spartans in Scarlet, who cannot seem to agree upon a proper geographical surname, but inarguably represent the outlying areas of the City of Angels.

The I-5ers tucked another skip-away into their burgeoning pelts by defeating a game, and possibly gamey, group of Canucks from Toronto, 4-3. Appropriately on this Sabbath Day, the Lord’s Reps here on Earth were not left disappointed.

This particular left-columner was the fourth in a row for SoCal that included the scorebook addendum “X outs when winning run scored.” The consistent cliffhangers would be too much for the local imagineers who ply their trades in celluloid, and should, one hopes, be enough to get the Haloed Nine some much-needed buzz in the Southland, perhaps even breaking through the noise created by the pituitaryily-enhanced cagers currently wrapping up another season of lobbing balls into peach baskets across town.

Our beloved base ball is a cruel affair of zero-sum equations; for every smile in the home dressing room, there was an equivalent scowl in the visitors’. None was so anguished as that of Bluebird anchorman B.J. “Inverted L” Ryan, who took a fine performance worthy of a V by opening twirler A.J. “T.J.” Burnett and effectively flushed it down the commode. John Crapper himself would be astounded at such a thorough use of his invention.

Leading 3-2 entering the ultimate innings, B. followed A. with alphabetical precision. Yet the result was hardly as satisfying. The Brown Russian and Two-I Hunter immediately welcomed the new spinner with lashed safeties. “I wouldn't say we were happy that he came in, but Burnett was pretty much dealing and we wanted to see something different," offered Torii afterward, affirming the human need for variety (and, in tandem, the Spice Trade with Batavia).

Then, seemingly, the Decisive Moment—a puny bounder off the ash of Casey “Bird Dog’s Boy” Kotchman to his mirror at the Primary Sack, Lyle Overpaid, resulted in a tagout of Vladimir Ilyitch between bases three and four. The Stalin of Sock alertly prolonged the agony, allowing his fellow Winged Ones to advance along the Gilded Path. Mike “Backstabber” Napoli was Purposefully Passed to fully laden the bags. Alternate Ashman “Don” Juan Rivera went shopping at K-Mart, transporting our Canadian Cousins to within a single out of Eden.

But B.J. put a prophylactic on his club’s hopes for ecstasy (not to mention winning the three-game set). With Howie “Gigli” Kendrick at bat, the Confused Concluder missed his target by a wide margin, unless his aiming point was Howie’s triceps. The latterly plunking gave a trio of tallies for each side, and kept the bags brimming with Angelenos. El Cabron Pequeno, Maicer Izturis, strolled to the pentagon with a chance to be the Afternoon’s Achilles, and he didn’t disappoint, yanking the first doomed delivery by Ryan to the Far Grass. Kotchman’s toetag of the Glory Dish set off an all-too familiar celebration by the Quartz City Crew, while the Irritated Irishman trudged the walk of shame off the bump.

Kudos to Angels In America Darren “Scythe” Oliver and Jose “Beginner’s Luck” Arredondo, who caulked over a mediocre outing from Jon “Trade Bait” Garland. Arredondo in particular deserves plaudits, not merely for earning the V by holding the enemy to a duo of bingles in 2.1 innings, but for bouncing back so hardily in the face of adversity, having offered up a meatball that was sent over the planking on his very first offering in the Bigs. It’s that sort of fortitude in the face of Horsehide Haplessness that has delivered this plucky band of Seraphs to their current prominent placement in the divisional listings.

Meanwhile, there was no immediate word from the Loonies locker room on the mental capacity of Burnett, who once upon a time famously delivered a verbal whipping to his Sunshine State Spearfish mates after a tough defeat, after which, he was asked to vacate the premises with the alacrity of Mercury. After Ryan’s Harding-like performance in the Beer Frame, the Combustible Tosser, whose inner workings may well be stained by all the ink that has leached into his pores, has grounds for verbal battery. Given the rife potential that Burnett may be dangled at the midseason Swap Meet, repercussions wouldn’t likely be lasting.

And I just saw Carlos Santana last week at the Fillmore.

E. Santana shook off Miguel Cabrera's two-run homer in the second, and the Angels won it on Gary Matthews Jr's run-scoring single with two out in the ninth. Meanwhile, Willie Randolph lived to see another day as Fernando Tatis and Ramon Castro each had two run-scoring singles for New York, which won for the second time in nine games. But, can anyone tell me why they played in Baltimore?

• And If That's Too Soon, You Can Make It A Minute-And-A-Huff. Oh what a night. Tuesday's Yankees-Orioles game featured nine home runs, 12 pitchers and a 67-minute rain delay, which is always fun. It ended predictably, though, as Aubrey Huff doubled in the 11th to make it 9-9,, then scored the winning run on Alex Cintron's single. Baltimore came back from deficits of 4-0 and 8-4, making steam shoot from Hank Steinbrenner's ears in comical, cartoon-like fashion.

• Tim The Enchanter. In case you didn't know, Tim Lincecum is 7-1, 3-0 over his past four starts, after getting the win in the Giants's 6-3 victory over Arizona. Bengie Molina and Jose Castillo had homers for El Gigantes.

• M-M-M-My Kuroda. Sean Gallagher got the win and Aramis Ramirez and Kosuke Fukudome had run-scoring hits in a three-run seventh to lead the Cubs over the Dodgers 3-1. Hiroki Kuroda (2-4), who was Alfonso Soriano's teammate with the Hiroshima Carp in 1997, took the loss, although he left with a 1-0 lead.

• Mets Geek Changes Name To Rays Geek. Hey wait, can they do that? Because their chosen team "sucks," as they put it, popular New York Mets blog Mets Geek has changed its name to Rays Geek, and will now follow the Tampa Bay Rays. This has to be a first, doesn't it? Peculiar, especially since they've decided to keep their old logo, Mr. Met.

• Wizard Cat Defensive Player Of The Day. Brian Roberts, Guillermo Quiroz, Baltimore Orioles. It's common knowledge that Wizard Cat loves the 4-2-5 double play almost as much as he loves Little Friskies Seafood Sensations®. And all the better when it comes against A-Rod. And when it occurs with nobody out in the 11th? Just pure magic. Wizard Cat gives this play: Four wands.

Contact Wizard Cat at Wizardcat@live.com

Let's see if you can guess the worst offending ballpark by the description of its recent health violations.

A major vermin violation forced the shutdown of one food stand in April 2007. A cockroach infestation was reported in the Stadium Club kitchen in August.

That's right, it's Angel Stadium in Los Angeles, home of 732 health code violations. McAfee was second with 493, and AT&T Park had 88. By comparison, the Mets and Yankees were hardly trying with 58 and 45, respectively. Although inspectors did report seeing "mice, rats and flying insects in food areas" at Shea Stadium, which is almost as impressive as that Indians' triple play.

Foul Ballpark [Portfolio.com]
Vermin, Roaches In More Filthy MLB Park Kitchens [SportsbyBrooks]

Save the unassisted triple play and the balk, is there a more exciting happenstance on the four-pointed meadow than the long sock with the bags bursting? The Grand Aria? The Cosmic Clout? How about a four-run four-bagger that propels your side to victory? Such a blazing instance of base balling prodigiousness is excitement enough to keep one awake until the wee hours.

So blame Two-I Torii Hunter for your inability to enter the land of Nod. His biggest of big flies turned defeat into glorious, unexpected joy in Disneyland, home of the fairy tale. The skip-away homer gave the O.C. boys a 6-4 win over the Cleveland nine and a half, and its hapless anchorman Jittery Joe Borowski.

Yes, 'tis true — the glue-handed patroller of the middle exterior known far and wide as "Butterfly Net" won this encounter with his ash, not his cowhide. Hunter socked as many balls over the distant fenceline as ego-letters contained in his forename. The first of his brace came in the penultimate innings, snapping a theretofore-tied 1-1 encounter.

Unfortunately for the Winged Ones, ordinarily terrifying concluder Francisco "Babalu" Rodriguez engendered little fright. Santeria let down the slightly built winger on this evening, as the Cuyahoga Chiefs popped a cap in Sancho in their final at bat. Right away, Frank gave a free pass to Pronk Hafner, and his substitute legs, Asdrubal "Mouthful" Cabrera, scored on a laced two-bagger into the farthest reaches of right field by El Jugador del Jugadores, Victor Martinez. He too was deemed unable to propel himself around the sacks with sufficient velocity, and David "Red Stick" Delluci brought his superior speed into the game in his stead. Jhonny "Spelled Wrong" Peralta than blooped a well-placed double into right. That plated another run, but avarice cost the 'H' man his place on the paths, getting cut down at the corner sack attempting to advance after the throw homeward.

Nevertheless, the Clevelanders now led, and after another base on balls, Rodriguez was off to the clubhouse, where he may have shattered a few of those false idols. His barrister would point out that a bum ankle from a tumble down the dugout steps half a fortnight ago is giving the slightly built hurler fits. Rubber replacement Sturdy Scotty Shields fared little better, though, giving up consecutive safeties, and the lead swelled to 4-2, Tribe. But with the bases at SRO (a situation we would see again moments later), Shields whiffed Casanova Sizemore, and got a harmless bounder from Jason Michaels to staunch the hemorrhage.

Down a pair, California could at least take comfort in the presence of the Human Heart Attack toeing the slab. Borowski the Palpitating Pole managed an initial out, but the cursed base on balls energized the Haloes. The Brown Russian golfed a lancet into left, and another series of wide ones to Local Legend Garrett Anderson put three men on. Enter the Hector of this particular epic. Torii speculated slider, and was proven Buffet-esque in this capacity. The breaker came as expected, and Two-I pounced, sending a towering thunderbolt to left, one that arced around the fair pole, nestling deep in the grandstands. Quite a way to ingratiate yourself with a new band of mates, and earn that munificent bi-weekly pay envelope.

The great Mitchum, a devoted base ball fan, was not in attendance, no doubt canoodling with good friend Mary Jane, but even so, it was truly the Night of the Hunter. At the final Station of the Diamond, the entire uniformed contingent of the franchise greeted the hero with ferocious backslaps and a pounding not seen since the Molineaux-Cribb bout — all with good intent, let me assure you.

"I told you when I got here, me and the rally monkey would be good friends," exulted Hunter in the dressing room. Someone has to pal around with that mangy, unlovable ape, one supposes, and cheers to Two-I for taking that particular travail for the team. As for his buried meaning, there was never any doubt in this scribe's brainpan about Hunter's ability at the urgent moment—despite previous failures I may have ascribed upon his inking with the club to his lack of inner fortitude.

The rest of the choir showed another unusual appreciation of Hunter's valor, vim, and vigor by pouring several bottles of unquaffable, domestically crafted and bottled admixtures of barley and hops over the diminutive outfielder. Time was, rest assured, the assembled wretches stained by ink who took as much joy in Two-I's feat as did his mates would have joined in the damp celebrations.

Alas, times have changed.

So, here goes:

1. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim: We actually never like picking these guys, and not just because of their name. But they still seem to be the class of this division over here.
2. Oakland Athletics. We will always, always pick these guys one spot higher than they actually should be. Damn you, Michael Lewis!
3. Seattle Mariners: Put us in the camp that believes last year was an overperformance, rather than the start of something exciting, Bedard or no.
4. Texas Rangers: Hopefully they'll be able to overcome the loss of Sammy Sosa. We're not sure we have, not yet.

We would love to hear justifications as to how a team other than the Angels win this division. Tomorrow, the National League Central.

Mat Gleason blogs as Reverend Halofan at Halos Heaven. His words are after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—--

You don't have to be too deep to understand that the Angels are deep.

So I am reading a Baseball Prospectus preview of the Angels' Spring Training and Joe Sheehan fails to even mention Vladimir Guerrero. I'm paying for access to this site? This is like paying for the Dick Morris election newsletter and getting no mention of Barack Obama. Previews for a team are 95 percent fixation on about 5 percent of what matters - splitting hairs about minor league prospects who will never get out of AA, pissing contests about bench players who are easier to replace than a tire and stats sold as the word of Math God which measure an infinity more easily explained as two bloop singles in the guy's rookie year.

Vladimir Guerrero is pretty much the only thing that really matters to the Angels. If Vlad plays in 140 games and posts an OPS+ of at least 140 in 2008, the only way that the Angels do not easily coast to a division title would be a meltdown in their starting pitching. A healthy Vlad makes Mike Scioscia look like a genius no matter how stupid batting Gary Matthews Jr. second would make any manager appear.

There are three everyday players from the 94-win 2007 squad who are not returning - a half-season 5th starter (Bartolo Colon), a half-season DH (Shea Hillenbrand) and Vlad's best friend (Orlando Cabrera). While Cabrera's defense will be hard to replace, with his trade value at its peak, he yielded a No. 3 starter (John Garland).

The Angels are deep in the outfield. The signing of Torii Hunter puts Vlad and Garret Anderson in a musical chairs rotation as DH with Matthews rotating between left and right field. At age 32, resting Vlad now is an insurance policy for contract extensions to come. Hunter will add some power to the lineup (which, for all its semi-anemic pop, was fourth in the AL in runs scored) and playing on grass for an extra 81 home games should, in theory, slow any perceived decline Torii may be about to take. His defense - admittedly hard to measure/quantify for even the most evangelical sabermetrician - will be an improvement for the Angels. As a bonus (for you chemistry guys), Hunter replaces the good cheer Cabrera brought to the clubhouse and should sell well in the gift shop, too. There is even a Torii Hunter Bobblehead Night scheduled for May 12 against the White Sox. The Angels could have been stinkers and had this giveaway on a Twins visit, but they are too classy an organization. Juan Rivera and Reggie Willits are the fifth and sixth outfielders.

The Angels are deep in the infield. Mike Napoli and Jeff Mathis are behind the plate. Casey Kotchman is at 1B. If Kotch has yet another freak injury or disease, Kendry Morales will step in. Howie Kendrick is at 2B. Cabrera will be replaced at shortstop by a league average, league minimum salary player 5-10 years his junior (Erick Aybar or Maicer Izturis with Brandon Wood returning to SS at AAA in case neither option has worked by June 1). Either of Aybar/Izturis can back up at 2B and 3B, but Chone Figgins is at 3B and in a contract year.

The Angels are deep in pitching. The rotation is John Lackey, Jered Weaver, Garland, Ervin Santana and Joe Saunders. This is a great rotation, and it is missing Kelvim Escobar, their No. 2, who is babying a sore shoulder into May on a strict rehab program. A stud prospect, Nick Adenhart, awaits a callup. Dustin Moseley and Chris Bootcheck would do in a pinch, if they haven't mopped up in the bullpen recently, where Justin Speier and Scot Shields will setup for Frankie "Contract Year" Rodriguez. This will likely be Frankie's last year in an Angels uniform, but visions of free agent dollar signs will make it his best.

The Angels are deep pocketed. As far as dollar amounts and lengths of contracts - the fixations of the less well-endowed franchises - Angel fans know that their billionaire owner will not flush the farm system down the toilet for a once-in-a-lifetime player like Miguel Cabrera nor will he break the bank for Alex Rodriguez. But this is no tightwad. Arte Moreno's fiscal sanity is backed up by a lot of chips on the table. And he plays his cards when his hand is strong.

The Angels are deep and they are going to kick your team's ass. Play ball.

They start off with the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.

Figgins, Chone - Evidently pronounced "Shawn", Figgins' first name is a glory to behold. Rhyming it with "cone" (as it should be, since this is America, goddamnit!) is a good start, but getting a little creative with it can't hurt. How about "che-hone-ay"? Or perhaps "see honey", but in the tone of an effeminate pimp.

Kendrick, Howie - Any "Howie" heckles begin and end with references to the great Howie Mandel and his well-publicized bout with OCD. As such, make sure to wear plastic gloves when taunting. Also, if you remove the "r" from his last name (maybe sending it over to Casey one entry down) it spells "Kendick". That's pretty funny.

They'll be going team by team. We have an instant bookmark.

The Heckler's Prospectus

We always remember, like many, but for different reasons, the 2004 World Series, in which our Cardinals seemed like they were behind 3-0 at the beginning of every game. Some series turn out like that; that series, like the Cubs, Angels and Phillies fans the last week, provided not a single moment of legitimate cheer. All the excitement of reaching the postseason, and it's over with not even a drop of drama. It's probably best to try to forget it happened, or at least remember it in the playoffs next year. If you're there.

Since there's not much more to say, here's a very amusing KodakGallery slideshow of the Red Sox celebrating their AL East title the other night. Features special Dice-K dancing action!

Red Sox Photo Gallery [KodakGallery]
Big Game Hunter [SI.com]

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-
Top of the Ninth Inning

Beckett stays in as it's do or die time for the Halos.

Fun fact: If Beckett completes this game with a shutout he will have more postseason shutouts than regular season. (3 and 2)

Cabrera grounds out on his first pitch. Beckett one out a way from a complete game shut out. I can't help but root for him. Because to root for him is to root for baseball. Or something dumb like that.

Guerrero singles to center. One on, two out.

Anderson flies out to center, giving Beckett an incredible complete game shutout.

Thanks for hanging out with me for the last few hours. As predicted, it came down to pitching and Beckett has earned his hookers and blow. Can Dice-K pick up where Beckett left off? Tomorrow will tell

FINAL
Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Bottom of the Eighth Inning

Youk flies out to right. One down.

Ortiz flies out to center. Two down.

Manny pops out in foul territory. Trips on his XXXXXL uniform on
his way back to the dugout.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Top of the Eighth Inning

Beckett still in. Lackey still crying.

Kotchman grounds out on a throw from Youk to Beckett. Man down.

Kendrick threads a single past Lugo and Lowell.

Erik Aybar comes in to pinch hit for Mike Napoli. He proceeds to ground into a force out knocking Kendrick out at second and putting himself on first. If that's not superb pinch hitting, I don't know what is.

Kendry Morales in to pinch hit for Willits. Aybar steals second on a wild pitch. Beckett responds by striking out Morales on a nasty inside pitch.

Beckett ends the inning with 101 pitches. Could he go 9? I think he could!

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Bottom of the Seventh Inning

The Angels bring in former starter Ervin Santana to relieve Lackey. Lackey does, indeed, look relieved.

Crisp pops out to third. One down.

Lugo called out on strikes. Two down.

Pedroia strikes out swinging. Inning over. Santana smirks at Lackey while Lackey gives him the finger. Name calling ensues.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Top of the Seventh Inning

Beckett starts the inning with just over 70 pitches and looking fresh. Cut to a shot of Lackey in the dugout who looks like he's aged 20 years in the last 2 hours.

Cabrera grounds out to short. One down.

Guerrero's helmet looks like it's sponsored by the Pine Tar Association of America. He singles to left, ending Beckett's run of 19 straight batters down.

Pinkeye Anderson pops out to third. Two down.

Announcer Steve Stone calls a two out double play on Izturis. I guess he thinks giving the Angels an extra out this inning might help.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Bottom of the Sixth Inning

Leave me alone. I'm eating.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Top of the Sixth Inning

Napoli strikes out swinging.

Willits strikes out on a foul tip. Two down.

Figgins out on a great catch by Coco Crisp in center. Not bad for a guy named Coco.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Bottom of the Fifth Inning

Pedroia grounds out. One down.

Youk goes down looking. Don't sweat it Youk. It happens.

Ortiz gets walked, which probably isn't such a bad thing. One man on, two down.

Does Ramirez put on a bigger uniform before each inning? Manny goes down on a questionable strike three stranding Papi at first.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Top of the Fifth Inning

Beckett hits the mound looking like an Angel killer.

Izturis pops up to short center. Jose Mora on the sidelines looks like he got a 4 for 1 deal in the Botox department.

Kotchman strikes out swinging. Two down.

Kendrick grounds out. Pitch/Strike count: Beckett 64/47, Lackey 70/43

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Bottom of the Fourth Inning

Varitek strikes out on five pitches from Lackey.

Crisp pops out in foul territory. Two down.

Lugo strikes out, giving Lackey his second K of the night and a 1-2-3 inning. Atta boy!

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Top of the Fourth Inning

Cabrera strikes out on some nastiness from Beckett.

Guerrero grounds out. Two down. Beckett's only thrown 13 balls in 49 pitches. Not gonna lie. I'm a little turned on.

Anderson strikes out to end the inning. How's that pinkeye working out for ya?

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Bottom of the Third Inning

Third inning and Lackey's pitch count is already at 38. Not good.

Youkilis doubles up the third base line bringing a dangerous looking Papi to the plate.

Ortiz hits a two run shot to right field as Lackey wipes away tears. Two runs in, one out.

Ramirez gets walked. Lackey! Hold it together dude!

Ramirez to second on a pitch in the dirt by Lackey. Lackey falls behind Lowell 3-1.

Lowell singles to center bringing Ramirez home from third. I hope the Angels bullpen ate their Wheaties today.

JD Drew hits into a double play (again, a shock to all in attendance) to end the inning.

Angels 0, Red Sox 4

Top of the Third Inning

Mike Napoli grounds out to Youk. One down.

Reggie Willits flys out to left. Two down. Little Manny Ramirez looks like he's playing dress up in Big Papi's uniform.

Figgins strikes out on a hellacious pitch from Beckett, putting Beckett's K count at 2.

Angels 0, Red Sox 1

Bottom of the Second Inning

Jason Varitek leads of with a single to right field.
.
Coco Crisp hits into a double play. Two down with one shot.

Julio Lugo singles to right, and then ends the inning by getting thrown out trying to steal second. Francona off the bench again. The under is looking like a pretty safe bet right now.

Angels 0, Red Sox 1

Top of the Second Inning

Maicer Izturis grounds out to third. One down.

Casey Kotchman grounds out to Pedroia. Two down

(Camera cuts to a close up of Mike Scioscia. -1 for HD broadcasting)

Howie Kendrick fouls off. his foot. Francona's off the bench to argue. I'm putting the over/under on Francona's ejection at the 7th inning. Kendrick responds by flying out to center.

Angels 0, Red Sox 1

Bottom of the First Inning

Dustin Pedroia grounds out to third

Kevin Youkilis...going....going...GONE!! Sox go up one run on a shot to left center. Apparently it's the first postseason HR of his career. Yooooouuuuuuk!!!!!

(Ted Robinson and Steve Stone are already starting with the useless stats. Wonderful.)

David Otriz singles on a line drive to left.

Manny Ramirez singles, sending Ortiz to third and Lackey to therapy.

Mike Lowell pops out to third. Two down.

JD Drew grounds out to the shock of all watching. Inning over.

Angels 0, Red Sox 1

Top of the First Inning

Shawn Sean Chone Figgins singles off the glove of Pedroia on a 3-2 pitch from Beckett to start the inning.

Orlando Cabrera bloops to short, getting thrown out at first and advancing Figgins to second.

Figgins takes a shot at stealing third as Vlad Guerrero grounds out to third. Runner on third, two out.

Garret Anderson, who's facing Beckett with an eye swollen shut from pinkeye, strikes out swinging to strand Figgins at third and end the inning.

Game so far: almost exciting

Angels 0, Red Sox 0

Preview

Hi folks. I'll do my best to keep you updated while putting aside my hatred for the Sox.

The Beckett - Lackey match-up should be interesting as both boys have seen postseason action before and are among the top contenders for the Cy Young. Unfortunately the Angels have a horrid record against the Sox having lost 10 of 11against them with Lackey on the mound. There are some heavy bats in both line-ups. One misstep from either of these pitchers will blow the game wide open.

Hopefully this live blog will go much better than this afternoon's. Note to Bolster: Put down the Penthouse and pay your internet bill. Oh, and don't be embarrassed that you couldn't finish. It happens to every guy now and then.

They're back now, and playing an Angels team that's hard to figure; these teams are almost opposite in the way their rosters were constructed. We like the idea of Red Sox fans staying up until 2 in the morning to watch the road games, though. We suspect Boston offices are going to be working slow for a while ... fortunately, they should be on a weekend.

A look at predictions from around the Internets:

• CoolStandings: Red Sox in five.
• AJ Daulerio: Red Sox in three.
• Keith Law: Red Sox in five.
• Will Carroll: Red Sox in four.
• Jeff Pearlman: Angels in four.
• Jayson Stark: Red Sox in five.
• Buster Olney: Red Sox in five.
• DEADSPIN: Red Sox in four. The Sox have been a little shaky, but this is a much, much better matchup for them than the Indians would have been.

Thoughts?

Mat Gleason, is also known as Reverend Halofan, of HALOSHEAVEN.COM. His words are after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—--

It is the 100th anniversary of the birth of Gene Autry, so of course the Angels are going to win it all!

In this era of baseball fans putting on lab coats to analyze the numbers before accepting a team's WIN as meaningful, can I just interject that the Angels are gonna win one for the cowboy on his 100th birthday!

Do I sound like a moron yet? Well, at least I am enjoying my team's success instead of doing my math homework. Each year, baseball on the internet gets to be more like doing your taxes; numbers of the past adding up to an unpleasant feeling of wasted opportunities with a lousy payoff in the near future.

The baseball atheists, the Sabr number crunchers, joykillers determined to rid the sport of any storyline not composed on a slide rule, they hate the Angels. Madalyn Murray O'Hair said there was no god, and the SabrMutts say there is no "clutch." These Sabr piss-on-your-parade sourpusses categorically reject any team structured on the belief that the RBI will redeem the baserunner, that a hitter's batting average with Runners in Scoring Position is of significance and that his average with RISP and 2 outs might actually be his most treasured trait as a hitter. These notions are a reverse heresy!

The 2007 Angels are structured antithetically to fashionable statistical analysis models. When ESPN's token Sabr boy Keith Law flat out states that RBI is a meaningless statistic in a chat-tirade against Garret Anderson (within a week Garret had a ten-RBI game against the Yankees), you have to understand that the 2007 Angels are a threat to the cottage industry of pseudoscientific baseball analysis from which Law and his flannel-bedecked crony Rob Neyer write fanboy love letters to jocks disguised as Benjamin Bernanke quarterly reports to congress.

Ask any rational SabrMetric Analyst why Maicer Izturis should ever bat fifth in a major league lineup. Then ask any Dodgers fan if they wish Mike Scioscia was their manager.

Ask the Billy Beane acolytes if all of Joakland's visits to the disabled list negated Billy's statistical acumen for personnel placement.
Then ask how many Angels went on the disabled list in 2007; the answer is 13 players for a total of 18 visits, less than the A's, but not 17 games behind worth.

Asking these and other questions is uncomfortable in these rigid, measured times. Nothing diminishes the seductive allure of OPS like a high average singles team that can steal bases, go from first to third well and score on old-fashioned squeezes. It is enough to force a fan to watch the baseball game instead of the MLB Gameday.

Mike Scioscia's innovative, progressive lineup is backed by a damn good pitching staff. The bullpen is not as reliable as in the past, but Angel fans have been so spoiled that their historically dominant bullpen sinking to the level of bullpen of the decade has been tough for us to handle. We don't self-flagellate like Bahstin or vicariously point fingers in the NY Post, but a blown hold was a rare occurrence in Los Angeles of Anaheim prior to this season.

But you seven other playoff teams better not wait around for the pitching to collapse. The way to beat the Angels is with your pitcher keeping his game on the ground. Let the Angels get two hits an inning, ground into a double play and then pop up weakly. Chien-Ming Wang stands between the Angels and a ring. If Carlos Silva was in the postseason, I would be praying to face any team but the Twins.

Watch, though, as your big game pitcher gets distracted with fast guys on first waiting to steal, then sees that guy go from first to third on what seemed to just be a squibber past a diving shortstop. Just as big stud walks off the mound to catch his breath, they announce Vladimir Guerrero is at the plate - you know, Manny Ramirez with his head on straight, Alex Rodriguez with the successful personality transplant. Can you tell we are praying for Carlos Zambrano to be here in three weeks?

Behind Vlad is a healthy Garret Anderson. Now, the Stat-Street-Boys dislike a man they cannot quickly measure. Garret is far too nuanced for their numbers-eyeballing methodology. Garret does two things with a bat: he hits a fastball well. He is not too good on the curve or the slider and is especially bad on the changeup away. But if you repeat a pitch to him, the 2nd thing he does well is crush the living shit out that pitch.

How can a simpleton like Keith Law be expected to pay attention to subtle, in-game situations like this without the aid of a crunched numerical graph explaining the importance of an offense built around frenzied hitting - the very concept of frenzied hitting does not fit into the cobwebbed orthodoxy that the alleged stat revolution has become.

A statistical analyst at this Angels' postseason campaign is like an atheist at Hannukah - before you crack a beer, tell us again why we aren't the chosen people?

Checking in with Halos Heaven, we appreciate the "enjoy the moment" nature of the celebration.

This might be the only time, this might be your last time; regardless, this is it. There is only now. Your team is in it. You have earned this, but it is all you have earned. There are no guarantees. A generation or more of your family can live and die under the same roof, going to games of a team that will never surpass second place, never know what it is like to live after a season has died. Your memory of this moment may be all they have, all that ever gives them hope.

Right now, all we know is that the Yankees really, really don't want to play Anaheim again.

Final Thoughts After Qualifying For The Post-Season [Halos Heaven]

(Getty Images Photo)

Which makes it all the more frustrating that two of the most important series this weekend start this afternoon, in the middle of a dreary, long Friday workday. The first-place Angels have a doubleheader in Boston today, and, as you might have noticed — we hadn't! — the NL Central is beginning to tighten a bit, at least as much as any division with its leaders struggling to stay above .500 can "tighten."

Surviving Grady has a list of excuses to get out of work, but, you know, we think you should hang in while you can, until the afternoon playoff games in October, and then quit.

The Sox Addict's Guide To Watching The Game When You Really Should Be Working [Surviving Grady]

How bad are the rodents at Angel Stadium? They're 13 times that of the Padres' and Dodgers' stadiums ... combined.

Of those reports, 33 represent "major" violations, in which "rodent activity" was observed by health inspectors in a "critical area" of 18 stadium food venues. "It should be zero. A restaurant is closed down for these kinds of things," said Richard Sanchez, the director of environmental health for the county Health Care Agency.

We never thought we would see the day that a corporation would brag (inaccurately) that they're from Los Angeles in order to seem as if they are cleaner, but hey: Go Angels. Sadly, we now know why it's been so long since we saw the Rally Monkey.

Rat Infestation At Angel Stadium [Orange Country Register]

Reggie and Amber never planned to live in a cage. In 2003, they decided to build a 3,000-square-foot house on five acres they own next to his family in Fort Cobb, Okla. The batting cage happened to be the first part of the house that they built. But when the cage was finished, Reggie and Amber saw a way to save money from his minor league salary. They did not have to complete the house. They could simply stay in the cage.

From the outside, it looks like a warehouse, 60 feet long and 32 feet wide. But inside, it has everything a baseball family would ever need: a place to eat, sleep and hit.

Our favorite part? A quote from Angels hitting coach Mickey Hatcher, about Willets' wife: ""I know she's taken a few in the helmet. But that's part of the game." Hey, maybe Brett Myers should move his family there.

Life In A Cage [New York Times]

As you know, thanks to all the freaking snow in Cleveland, the Indians "hosted" the Angels in Milwaukee yesterday, and Indians fans Mistake By The Lake were there. It was a bizarre afternoon all around, with the scoreboard showing Cleveland news headlines, a misplaced sausage race and, most amusingly, the John Adams guy who bangs the demographically offensive but still fun drum sitting alone in a nearly empty section, pounding away.

The full report makes it sound like a unique and goofy day at the ole ballpark; every team should have such home games/non-home games. Heck, they even let Indians mascot Slider use the Bernie Brewer Slide!

Home Is Where We Say It Is [Mistake By The Lake Sporting Times]

"It wasn't my idea, and I'm not the type of person to jump on the bandwagon because someone else is doing something," Anderson said in the LA Times. "If I did it just because someone else was doing it, it would seem kind of empty to me."

Of all the times to assert one's individuality, this seems like a highly appropriate one, yes?

Garret Anderson Doesn't Care About Black People [LAist]

In his new book The Cheater's Guide To Baseball, Derek Zumsteg looks at all the different ways baseball players and managers have cheated (or tried to cheat) throughout the years. It's a highly entertaining book; our favorite part is "Tips For Doctoring Bats For Amateur Players."

Zumsteg has set up a blog for the book, and he thinks he caught Angels closer Francisco Rodriguez messing with the ball a couple of nights ago.

4-2-2007, against the Rangers, K-Rod put something on the ball repeatedly during the 9th inning, and wasn't even subtle about it. First, I'm going to admit these are bad pictures. ... Compare the movement on those pitches to the movement on the fastballs where he clearly doesn't go to the hat brim. Also, watching the video, it's a lot more striking than stills can easily convey — it's clearly not a cap adjustment, but something else entirely.

Honestly, we kind of want to hire Zumsteg to watch all games and point out all the little cheats. We don't really mind cheating — everyone cheats, at everything — but we think it's fun when someone points out something that we miss but should be obvious.

Francisco Rodriguez Doctoring The Ball [The Cheater's Guide To Baseball]

(UPDATE: MLB says the substance was "resin.")

All right, last one of the day until tomorrow ... we think this is actually the easiest division to pick, which is why, obviously, we're going to have it entirely wrong.

1. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. That pitching staff is a little crazy, and hey, look, it's Gary Matthews. Nice to have you here, man!
2. Texas Rangers. If the Rangers win the World Series this year, Showalter's officially hanging himself.
3. Oakland Athletics. We can see things taking a bad turn this year, though we still hope they enjoy all the ghost-riding.
4. Seattle Mariners. It's cute that they keep playing, it really is.

All right, take us home ... big day tomorrow, so play all night and rest up.

Well, we're less than a week away from the start of baseball — spring training is here! — so it's time to do the same thing in the baseball world. Every weekday until the start of the season, a different writer will preview his/her team. We asked a gaggle of writers, from the Web, from print, from books, to tell us, in as many or as little words as they need, Where Their Team Stands. This is not meant to be factual, or dispassionate, or even logical: We just asked them to riff on why they love their team so much, or what their team means to them, or whatever.

Today: The Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. Your author is Rev Halofan.

The Reverend Halofan blogs daily about the Angels at SB-Nation's Halos Heaven and is the host of KarmaBall, a live Fantasy-Baseball call-in webcast at Karma Air on Sunday nights at 7 p.m. Pacific. His words are after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

THE 2007 LOS ANGELES ANGELS OF PUNK ROCK

It was tough to be a punk rocker (Angels fan) in the 70s and early 80s. Journey and Styx (The A's and Dodgers) dominated California's music (pro baseball) scene. My teenage alienation manifested in that Iggy Pop album (Don Baylor poster), while a short haircut (Angels cap) set me apart in a land of blow-dried surfer mullets and puka shell necklaces (Billy-Ball, Fernandomania).

There were moments of satisfaction along the way. The excitement surrounding 3rd Generation punk bands (the mid 80s Angels) like Sonic Youth (Reggie Jackson) and the Replacements (Rod Carew) seemed to vindicate my taste (fandom). One band (Angels team), Husker Du (the 1986 squad), signed with a major label (was one strike away from going to the world series), but in the scheme of things, insubstantial pop acts (juiced cheaters) Cyndi Lauper and Madonna (Jose Canseco and Mark McGwire) held the national attention. Everything I liked and lived for was shared by a few lonely souls (fans) whose favorite bands (players) never saw the light of day in the entertainment (sports) media.

When Nirvana (Tim Salmon) went gold (won Rookie of the Year) in 1992 (in 1993), it seemed that things would finally get better, but by the time Cobain (the Angels) offed himself (lost a one game playoff for the division title) in 1994 (in 1995), something in every true punk (true Angels fan) died too. It seemed as if the hopeless past had cemented itself as a fact of life.

Then it got even worse! Punk was on the radio (Angel games were on national TV), but it was different, all these new bands (the new-look Angels) were corporate tools (were owned by Disney) with a sanitized look and a safe sound (with periwinkle striped uniforms and an ugly wing-logo). Most punks (Angel fans) never gave up, we just carried our disenchantment as a bigger and bigger chip on our collective shoulder.

But vindication arrived surprisingly swift after the turn of the century. There was a surge of interest in punk (the franchise), the music (the team) was suddenly everywhere, not really a specific band (star player) per se, but on soundtracks (the 2002 World Series) and commercials (back to back division titles in '04 and '05). Punk (the Angels) had become ubiquitous overnight after almost 30 years (over 40 seasons) of ambivalence and uncertainty.

So how do the Angels look for 2007?

TEAM NAME
Deal with it. Dimwitted Choakland mouthpiece Rob Neyer has two years of bad city name jokes to crack before Lew Wolff of Fremont sells the Athletics' naming to the highest bidder. Every punk can spot a poseur. The joke is on you, Rob, as the allegedly confusing team name yielded a superior local television deal to that of the Dodgers. Every smug cackle about the team name is a $15 million per year slap at the Chavez Ravine Landgrabbers of Brooklyn.

OWNER
Best owner in sports.

GENERAL MANAGER
The genius of general manager Bill Stoneman is visible in the mid-season extensions he signed with John Lackey (last April for $17 mil for 06-08 with a $9 mil club option on '09) and Kelvim Escobar (in May, $28 mil for '07-'09). It allowed for him to overpay for reliever Justin Speier ($18 million for '07-'10). 35% of the innings that will be pitched by the staff for the next three years will be by these three top tier arms locked in at $24 million a season. That will be pennies in 2009.

Sadly, Stoneman's great pitching assessments are confounded by a vet'ruhn outfielder manlust that started with, well, even before Steve "Frosty" Finley there was that inexplicable 2001 Ron Gant move at the trade deadline. The Stoned Man's offseason crush this year was a tease who won't give back the ring. Until Gary Matthew Juicer grows three extra appendages and two internal organs at some point in his 5 year, $50 million contract, we are stuck with him in "Of Anaheim." Oh well, like the Circle Jerks song says, Gary, live fast die young...

MANAGER
In this era of sabermetric magic, Mike Scioscia is still tithing to the church of the RBI and voting the straight Sac-Bunt ticket. But there is hope: Mike is younger than Alan Trammell and Orel Hershiser. Maybe he will learn to formulate an effective lineup before his Cooperstown induction ceremony.

STARTING PITCHING
John Lackey
He might have bought a house in Newport Beach during the offseason, but he is still the Texas Sex Pistol: Don't want a Cy Young but he knows how to get it.

Kelvim Escobar
Allow me to cherry-pick a stat: Adjusted ERA+: 121 (7th in the A.L. in 2006). Is his recent back strain a concern? Nah, blame it on overtime with his sleazy collection of hoochie MySpace Friends.

Ervin Santana
When Joe Strummer was 24, he wrote and recorded the debut Clash album. Ervin turned 24 on January 10.

Jered Weaver
The PECOTA-killer is back. Management is babying him for the first few weeks of the season but if that vaunted super-stat cannot figure him out, what makes you think the league's hitters can?

Bartolo Colon
At February's fan-fest I waited in line to have my picture taken with Big Bart. He was no bigger than the average fat baseball fan screaming at him for being too fat.

Joe Saunders / Dustin Moseley
Either would be the 5th Starter on 10 Major League Teams. In fact, the #4 Starter on 5 other teams.

OFFENSE
Vladimir Guerrero
A picture of Johnny Ramone on stage always looks the same. You can't ever tell if it was a concert shot from 1975, 1985 or 1995. Every pitch to Vlad Guerrero is like that. You can't ever tell if it would have been ball 1 or a wild pitch. It is already in the gap, at the wall.

Howie Kendrick / Casey Kotchman
Sentimental Angel fans still get wistful over the departures of Adam Kennedy and Darin Erstad. That's a punch line.

Mike Napoli
After all the Jeff Mathis hype, we got an OBP machine in the midst of batting coach Mickey Hatcher's hack-tastic offense. Sleeper fantasy pick if your league favors OPS instead of AVG.

Garret Anderson
When my choices for more batting are Orlando Cabrera, Shea Hillenbrand, Robb Quinlan and Jose Molina, I bold the name of G.A. out of the need to maintain a shred of credibility.

DEFENSE
The defense cannot possibly be worse than it was in 2006. Another plus: After detailed inspections around baseball, my girlfriend maintains that Maicer Izturis has the nicest melon-shaped ass in the major leagues.

BULLPEN
Francisco Rodriguez
Youngest player to reach 100 career saves. The best part is to lurk on the opposing team's game thread and read them piss and moan about how he gloats after finishing off his opponent.

Scot Shields
You won't notice him because he will shut down your team in the 8th so quickly the Bud Light commercials will seem back to back.

Justin Speier / Darren Oliver / Hector Carrasco / Your Mom
She could pitch 40 innings this season amid this group and get a ring.

FAN BASE
An unreported triumph of the Moreno regime is a castrating of ticket-scalping opportunist season-seat holders. ClearChannel, Nintendo and The Gap, 'scuse me, Texas, Seattle and "Of Fremont" are never going to have this problem. Bad fans with ten and twelve season seats who go to less than half the games make a killing selling weekend tickets to the casual bandwagon Angels fan. The amateur capitalists are slowly being denuded of their surplus chairs by Moreno Family Baseball at renewal time. If someone is going to make money off of the casual fan, it is going to be the real capitalist, who knows to keep tickets cheap so that snacks and souvenirs (and the occasional division title) keep the kids coming back for more.

OUTLOOK
If the top four starters miss less than 60 games total between them and Vlad Guerrero plays 140 or more games... this team takes the division title. A bevy of 3-2 duels will make it a teeth-grinding season, but it will be a winning campaign with a visit to the dentist in November.

Did I make it through a whole Angels preview without mentioning Brandon Wood, Nick Adenhart, Kendry Morales or Chone Figgins? Resist the feeling that you've been cheated.

So, we're taking up the cause. Weaver, the No. 12 pick in the 2004 draft, went 6 2/3 innings against Kansas City on Sunday, giving up three hits and one run. His ERA is at 1.15 after 47 innings. Some more background (which you won't find even on the Angels' official site): His brother, Jeff Weaver, pitches for our Cardinals. Jered has a routine in which, before each inning, he steps behind the mound, touches his toes, stretches out his right leg, then his left, shakes out his right arm, then bends over behind the rubber and carves the initials "EHH" into the dirt, in honor of his deceased grandparents. How is this guy not a story? Johnny Drama had an easier time getting a meeting with Ari Gold. Come on, Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim fans! Let's get Weaved!

Just Win, Baby [SI.com]
Slip Slidin' Away [Angels Mania]

(UPDATE: Several Angels fans have noted several noted exceptions to this little post here.)

By the way: Someday Ichiro is going to do something insane. Something about him makes us think there are inner demons we don't know about. If you're up for some dime-store psychiatry.

1. Oakland Athletics. We think this might be the best A's team since Billy Beane took over. And fortunately, there aren't enough fans around to piss off MIlton Bradley.
2. Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim. Doesn't it seem like Garrett Anderson should have been playing in the '80s? He seems like an '80s type of guy.
3. Texas Rangers. Brad Wilkerson is our hot fantasy pick. Fantasy baseball.
4. Seattle Mariners. Do you guys realize they signed Kevin Appier this offseason? That makes us extremely happy.

OK, your predictions, dissertations on VORP so you can apply for a job with Beane, whatever, in the comments, go to it.

• 1. So Close to Hollywood, Yet So Far. Second baseman Adam Kennedy, along with former teammates David Eckstein and Scott Spiezio, were in a 2003 episode of the now-defunct TV series She Spies — a Charlie's Angels knockoff which starred Natasha Henstridge, former WonderBra campaign model Natasha Williams and Kirsten Miller. The three Angels (get it?) play themselves and share screen time with Stuart Scott (yeah, that one), who plays a doctor, in his only non-Boo-Yah! role to date. Amazingly, the episode did not win a single Emmy.
• 2. Who Doesn't Love Monkey Porn? Rally Monkey, the Angels' annoying, televised primate mascot, has its own web site — which hawks stuffed monkey toys and Rally Monkey t-shirts. Oh, and also, prominently displayed on the home page, a link to a "full-length porn movie."
• 3. They Are Hugo Chavez's Favorite Team. Four Angels will represent Venezuela in the World Baseball Classic: Francisco Rodriguez, Kelvim Escobar, Juan Rivera and Edgardo Alfonzo. Escobar is very active in the Stop Red Light Running campaign in Los Angeles, just so you know. Also, in less than 18 months, the Angels have acquired four Tommy John surgery survivors — Paul Byrd, Nick Adenhart, Hector Carrasco and Jason Bulger.
• 4. The Japanese Delayed The Angels' Arrival For 20 Years. The St. Louis Browns of the American League got permission to move to Los Angeles in 1941, and the league even had their schedule ready. But the move was cancelled when the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor in December. It took until 1961 for the A.L. to finally land in L.A. In the MLB expansion meeting in 1960, cowboy movie star Gene Autry attended only to try and get the rights for the team's radio broadcasts. But somehow during the meeting he was talked into buying the whole shootin' match.

(Monday: The Atlanta Braves)

We are not going to make fun of the name, because we've covered that already and, besides, the team was just eliminated last night, so we should be nice. The Angels seem to be making the right moves to avoid the White Sox/Mets lament of being the other team in town, and as long as Milton Bradley's still hanging around Chavez Ravine, they should continue to succeed. It's almost enough to make you want to forgive their fans, who have given us the Rally Monkey, Thunder Stix and the sneaking feeling that Disney runs everything.

3. Purgatory Online. Strange name for a blog that's not about celestial dieties. Posts are sometimes eye-shatteringly long. That's good, though.
2. Chronicles of the Lads. Similarly long posts, but a good sense of this franchise's quixotic history.
1. Halo's Heaven. Amusing combination of weirdo commentary and legitimate viewpoints. Plus, it even has its own designed logo.

(Tuesday: St. Louis Cardinals)

Game 3 of the ALCS is tonight, and you can expect the reception in Anaheim for umpire Doug Eddings to be, um, chilly. Anti-Eddings sites are popping up all over the place, including our personal favorite, Doug Eddings Is A Douche. But some of the best vitriol has come, not surprisingly, from Angels bloggers, specifically Halos Heaven, which is responsible for the poll question there. (If you're curious, "Bad Call" and "Fuck You" are currently tied for the lead. But it's early.)

Here's some of our favorite Halos Heaven un-heavenly Eddings-related riffs so far:

• "I'm coughing up blood."
• "Silver Lining: Imagine the 'Doug Eddings Game' going into the 14th or 15th inning before the liar behind the plate makes his Vegas bookie happy."
• "Josh Paul did nothing wrong, save punching Doug Eddings in the fucking face."

Meanwhile, Eddings had security escort him from the Santa Ana, Calif. airport to his hotel. He'll be in left field tonight. We suggest he bring a steel-fortified umbrella.

Halos Heaven [SB Nation]
Eddings Uneasy In The Spotlight [NY Times]

The disgust with Eddings appears to be less with the call itself and more with his signalling of the play, which made catcher Josh Paul think the batter had been called out. No matter what you think of the call — well, all right; it was lousy, and we all know it, let's not pretend — it's clear that Eddings isn't going away. People are digging into his past as a replacement umpire, pointing out that he's 36 and single and been blasted for being inconsistent and a liar (this argument, by Angels blogger Chronicles of the Lads, is rather convincing, actually). No matter what happens in this series, it seems obvious that Eddings will be the most lasting memory.

Fortunately for Eddings, the call went against the Angels rather than, say, the Red Sox. It's not like their fans can really get all that fired up. What, they're gonna go after him with ThunderStix?

Breaking It Down [Chronicles Of The Lads]
Bad Call In Chicago [Baseball Musings]
Doug Eddings, Replacement Umpire [AmericaWantsToKnow.com]

But we're kicking off tonight regardless, with Paul "Surfin'" Byrd battling Jose "Bring Us Your Tired And Your Poor" Contreras. The views on this series from around the Web:

• Baseball Prospectus: White Sox in six.
• Hardball Times: White Sox in seven.
• Joe Sheehan: Angels in seven.
• Baseball Musings: White Sox.

For a team everyone thought was going to lose in the first round, the White Sox have become pretty big favorites. And now that the news has broken that the injured Bartolo Colon has been left off the Angels' roster, we can see it skewing even further in that direction. If the White Sox don't end up pulling this off, they can't say they didn't have every opportunity.

Enjoy McCarver and Buck, everybody. Get ready for LOTS of old footage of Shoeless Joe Jackson. Hey, beats the Rally Monkey.

Colon Out For Playoffs [South Side Sox]

Leading the anti-Yankee charge is Faith and Fear In Flushing, which has a virtual smile the size of the guy in Warrant's "Cherry Pie" video.

Hold on, there's a call...

"Hello? Bernie? No, man, no gigs. No, nobody ever wants to hear you play the guitar again."

Hold on, there's another call...

"Hello? Moose? No, man, no rings. Check your contract. It was only implied."

And don't get Red Sox fans started either; no one is enjoying this more than them — probably not even Angels fans. From the great Soxaholix: Yeah, who knew Pay-Rod's "killah move" is grounding weakly into a double play? ... Here's your media anointed MVP: 5 ALDS games, 0 RBI, .133 BA."

We know the playoffs will lose a little not having the Yankees or Red Sox in them, if just because the remaining four teams aren't nearly as easy to hate. (If you really need someone, we nominate Roger Clemens.) But, honestly, the Web's having a virtual ticker tape parade this morning. Sorry, Yankees. And, for that matter, sorry, Angels: People will notice that you're still playing eventually, promise.

Don't Hate The Players, Hate The Lords Of The Game [Bronx Banter]
Good Work, Angels [Faith And Fear In Flushing]
Oh Fer 21st Century Streak Continues [Soxaholix]

First, from the Yankees:

• "I'm not ready for the season to end just yet. Let's hope they pull one out tomorrow." [Replacement Level Yankees Weblog]
• "They've given us one more day to look foward to, one more game to enjoy in what has been a long, strange season. And I ask you: What more could we have asked for?" [Bronx Banter]
• "I'm too exhausted to write anymore, I'm practically incohernt right now." [Pinstripe Alley]

And from the Angels:

• "It would have been better to not have to play the Game 5, but I can name 24 other teams that will take it." [Halos Heaven]
• "I might even try to find my lucky bra. Where did I put that? It seems a travesty to have a lucky bra and not have worn it in the post-season. Yes, I have a lucky bra. Shut up! You know what is stupid? Rally caps are stupid. My lucky bra is scientifically sound damnit!" [Watching Jeff DeVanon]
• "I think we have to accept that these two teams are evenly matched (I mean look at their pythagorean records) and that a game five (a game in which the Angels have a considerable advantage, I feel) is a fair conclusion to the season." [Pearly Gates]

And, just for fun, from an A's fan: "Tonight, it's Rich Arrogance against Whiny Petulance, in a winner-take-all showdown to learn who we are rooting for the White Sox to beat."

Should be grand fun. We can't wait.

Predictions from around the Web:

• Baseball Prospectus: Angels in five
• Rob Neyer: Yankees in five.
• Beyond The Box Score: Angels in 5.
• Replacement Level Yankees Weblog: Angeles in 4.
• Halos Heaven: Angels in 4.

Like you, we will be starting each game of this series with all kinds of good intentions, and we'll end up asleep in the spinach dip by the sixth inning. (We won't be live blogging this one, by the way; the "Z" button on our laptop couldn't take it.)

Replacement Level Yankees Weblog
Halos Heaven

Although the Angel lawyers filed their objection in the Carver case last November, Robinson said he was unaware of the trademark dispute. The lawyer who last filed on behalf of the academy, Kristi Nickel, declined to comment. However, Robinson said he would be happy to speak with [Angels owner] A