Our soccer hero is currently playing for A.C. Milan in Italy where it's safe, but while in Los Angeles last month, he supposedly ordered his bodyguards to rough up photographer Emicles Da Mata at a stoplight. Above we see said bodyguards gently explaining the situation to Mr. De Mata, who shook off the entire incident by smiling and remarking to the police "I'm going to sue his ass."

And indeed, TMZ found the lawsuit filed in L.A. County Superior Court, in which Da Mata claims "on December 7, 2008, he had stopped his car on a Beverly Hills street when Beckham reached through the driver's window and grabbed his camera and attempted to wrestle it from him. Da Mata was holding the camera at the time."

The lawsuit claims Beckham's bodyguard — also a defendant — then beat him repeatedly, grabbed the camera and threw it in a trash can. The picture (above) shows two of Beckham's bodyguards on top of Da Mata. Da Mata says he was injured and is suing for assault and battery, as well as emotional distress. He's seeking unspecified damages.

It seems extreme, but I'm telling you, for guys like Beckham and me these photographers are a curse.

Meanwhile, we have this. Don't know what that has to do with the case, actually. Sorry.

It also seems that A.C. Milan is renting Beckham with an option to buy.

Beckham Sued; Accused Of Beating Photog [TMZ]
David Beckham: My Bodyguard [Josh Q. Public]
AC Milan Wants To Take Beckham From Galaxy [NBCSports]

"I mean, some of the beer guts that we see and guys who after 10 minutes are huffing and puffing, that's embarrassing to the Galaxy, it's embarrassing to the game and ultimately it's embarrassing to them. So we weed those folks out pretty quickly and concentrate on the ones that have shown up here with a respect for what it takes to get to this level."

What was really needed was some televised American Idol-style mocking of the really bad players. We would have watched that.

We can't wait for the Galaxy's hooligan tryouts.

Galaxy Feel Beckham Effect In Search For New Stars [Guardian Unlimited]

That's all according to the London Times, anyway.

The Times understands that the former England captain has also decided on the next stage of his career and will turn down the opportunity to return to the Premiership, instead moving to the United States, with Los Angeles Galaxy the most likely club he will join.

You know what this means, don't you? Yes: the Beckhams have been brainwashed. Nevertheless, Maddox Pitt is delighted.

Beckham Will Reject Real Deal And Turn His Back On Europe [London Times]
Tom Cruise Has His Hooks Into The Beckhams [Deadspin]
Stop The World We Want TO Get Off [Deadspin]