“He hasn’t even finished Kabbalah 1 (the introduction to the study of Kabbalah) and the majority of the time he’s spent with Yardeni so far was for counseling, not study,” said MSNBC's unnamed source. This is certainly off-putting to Madonna.

"She did drag Guy [Ritchie] into kabbalah; she's doing the same now [with Rodriguez]. But he's bored. He's basically a kabbalah school dropout."

Perhaps A-Rod finally read the fine print. According to Wikipedia, Kabbalah is a form of Jewish mysticism in which it is believed that cosmic forces control everything, even the AL East. Sample teaching:

It is not recommended that men masturbate, as the sperm are abandoned souls that become demons. When a woman's insides come into contact with a man's sperm, they are coming into contact with the essence of their energy and are affected by this for several years.[8] The man should not orgasm before the woman, as it injects selfishness into the act of love making.

And now Rodriguez is even getting grief over where he'll spend Thanksgiving. Ha. Welcome to the club on that one.

Kabbahlah Coming Between Madonna, A-Rod? [MSNBC]

(*kazoo sound*)

To the celebrity gossip-mongering!

Newsday's blog, The Final Score, begrudgingly passes along the news via US magazine which had this to say about the alleged unholy union:

As Madonna announces her divorce from husband Guy Ritchie, a source close to the singer tells Usmagazine.com she and the New York Yankees slugger "are definitely romantic."

"Guy is not involved in this equation," the insider tells Usmagazine.com. "With or without A-Rod, Madonna and Guy haven't been 'together' for over a year - they have been privately separated. Madonna, however, wanted to finish her world tour before divorcing."

An A-Rod source tells Us, "A-Rod and Madonna are more involved than ever."

"Alex has really missed spending time with Madonna. However, he understands the position Madonna's in."

And E! News says that A-Rod has been "lying low" to avoid any connection to the split. But he won't let these pesky rumors get in the way of his Kabbalah training. Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance.

Source: A-Rod and Madonna Are "Definitely Romantic" [Us Magazine]

He is demanding a fortune for the footage he claims was shot with a hidden camera in an apartment allegedly used by the pair for secret afternoon trysts. Last night Madonna’s lawyers said they were “aware” of the lensman’s claims but were not commenting. Legal experts said there was no firm evidence the video existed.

In a series of emails fired off to media outlets, he alleged the footage was shot two months ago in an apartment owned by a pal of Madonna she knows through her devotion to the Kabbalah religion. The video man – who is also a friend of the apartment owner – claimed he found out and secretly installed a hidden camera in the living room with the lens pointed at the sofa.

If you pay in full by Friday, the man will throw in a St. Louis Rams walkthrough.

Well, Homo sapien has had a good run; pretty much an unbroken string of dominance since the invention of stone tools. But all dynasties run their course. Ours is scheduled to end any day now, as soon as this sex tape appears on Maury.

Madge In Sex Video Shock [Daily Star]

More details are spilling out, as Cynthia Rodriguez's support team goes into protect-the-baby mode to keep the focus on Alex and distract everyone from that whole shackin' up with Lenny Kravitz in Paris-thing. One silver lining for A-Rod is that, according to some "branding experts" his commercial appeal won't be tarnished.

"Wife-beating would hurt him, underage girls would hurt him, a gay lover would hurt him, but run-of-the-mill affairs - that's a non-issue in American life," said branding expert Howard Bragman, head of the public-relations agency Fifteen Minutes. "We just don't hold affairs against people anymore."

Superb.

A-Rod Pal: Cynthia Spent $100G In Paris [NY Daily News]
Cheating Hubby A-OK With Corporate Sponsors [NY Post]

First off, it should be noted that both the NY Post and NY Daily News have this rumor-debunking information in their stories about a possible A-Rod/ Madonna romance:

NY Post: "Madonna and [Husband, Guy] Ritchie had no comment last night as they strolled into their Manhattan apartment holding hands."

NY Daily News: "Last night, Madonna and Ritchie held hands but said nothing as they returned home from dinner."

Great. Story closed. But both tabs do get points for their dogged pursuits. For example, did you know that A-Rod was interested in kabbalah ? The Post says so:

In recent months, A-Rod has shown active interest in studying the Jewish mystical practice popularized by Madonna, her director hubby, and Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, sources said. Rodriguez has visited kabbalah centers in south Florida, where the all-star and the singer both have posh homes, the sources said.

The NY Daily News gets double-bonus points for getting a quote from one of the most trusted news sources in all of sports...Jose Canseco.

Asked about a Rodriguez-Madonna merger yesterday, Canseco sniped, "That's Alex. That's what he does. He goes after people's wives. I guess he's trying to follow in my footsteps now with Madonna."

Thank you, Jose.

Madge's Base Brawl [NY Post]
Alex Rodriguez in late-night visits to Madonna's apartment [NY Daily News]

But leave it to the Post to put a positive spin on this so they don't completely alienate their beat writers from the Yankees' locker room during what is sure to be an ongoing ordeal:

The alleged affair seems to be having a positive effect on the Pinstripe swinger, who last night hit his 534th home run, tying him for 14th place on the all-time homer list.

Yes. Clearly. One Deadspin e-mail tipster says this affair has been going on for "months":

A co worker of mine has a good friend who is married. His wife’s family owns a private jet business in NYC and confirmed to me that A Rod and Madonna have been using the plane for get a ways for the last couple of months.

Fun.

And, of course, the pun headlines will be aplenty come tomorrow morning.

Report: A-Rod Late Night Visits With Madonna [NY Post]







Alex Rodriguez In Late Night Visits To Madonna's Apartment [NY Daily News]







Alex Rodriguez and Madonna Affair Report triggers tabloid frenzy [Newsday]

Today, Us magazine enters the Madge-Rod fray, spilling these "exclusive" details about the stealthy couple.

A source tells Us that the $28-million-a-year Rodriguez, 32, has made numerous solo nighttime visits to Madonna, 49, at her spacious home and would sneak out "as late as midnight." Says the source, "All the doormen are talking."

Rodriguez attended Madonna's April 30 NYC concert; the singer sat in his seats at a Yankees game on June 22 (it was the first time she ever was photographed at a Yankees game). Her son Rocco, 7, also sported Yankees gear on June 25 while playing in Central Park.

Alex's wife, Cynthia must be torn about this news. She totally seems like the the type of Madonna fan who once wore ripped up sweatshirts, piles of crucifix-inspired jewelry, and fingerless gloves. It all must be so bittersweet.

NY Yankee Making Late Night Visits To Madonna's Apartment [US]

Oh, if this is true, this would just be one of the most fantastically mind-blowing developments on the planet. One can only hope that the gossip-mongering scoundrels at OK! magazine aren't confusing Alex Rodriguez with one of Madonna's other orange-skinned boy toys. But according to Radar, the magazine is publishing a story tomorrow that suggests the Yankees third baseman is the new man in her life:

OK! has learned the pop superstar and baseball great have been hanging out for months, as her relationship with her 39-year-old director hubby [Guy Ritchie] fizzled. Last October, Madonna and Alex were spotted working out together at Reebok Sports Club/NY in Manhattan, according to an online source. Two months later, Alex raised eyebrows by bringing in Madonna's close friend, entertainment manager Guy Oseary—who, incidentally, has no sports background—to help steer his career...

It makes perfect sense: They work out together. She gives him career advice. Madonna's marriage is on the rocks. A-Rod likes older women with bulging triceps and inner thighs that could squash pumpkins. Sounds like true love to me. True love, for baby, that is.

Madonna and A-Rod? [Radar]