Manchester United Are (Sort Of) For Real, Apparently

By losing to a surprisingly rampant Arsenal in their previous league game before the international break, Manchester United more or less confirmed our sneaking suspicions about this team’s place in the EPL hierarchy. Their spot in the table may make them technically contenders but there still remains a gap between the… »10/19/15 4:46pm10/19/15 4:46pm

Man City Academy Kids Flee, Return, Flee Again From Nutmeg Master's Skills

The purest physical distillation of what it feels like to have your mind blown by a feat of mastery is the innate urge to turn and sprint as far away as humanly possible from the scene of said feat. These Manchester City academy players repeatedly exhibit this behavior, which in itself is evidence enough of just how… »10/08/15 1:19pm10/08/15 1:19pm

Sergio Agüero Goes Supernova, Scores 5 Goals in 20 Minutes

Manchester City were losing today’s match to Newcastle 1-0 for most of the first half until Sergio Agüero went all Robert Lewandowski and rung up five quick goals to kill the game dead in a matter of minutes. Incredibly, he did the Whole Shit with a mere nine touches. It was sudden and violent and Newcastle should… »10/03/15 11:46am10/03/15 11:46am

God Smites The Manchesters Because England Sucks

England, man. Their clubs spend all that money on some of the best players in the world, get all that media hype about being the best league in the world, and right as you start to buy into it all they meet a couple underdogs from Europe and prove yet again that England isn’t as good as it’s made out to be.
»9/16/15 10:32am9/16/15 10:32am

Manchester City Are Soaring In England; Now They Must Fly As High In Europe

Manchester City appear to be on the precipice of something great. Years of unstinting investment by their rich owners has already paid off domestically in the form of two Premier League titles in four seasons, plus what in all likelihood will be a third come the end of the current campaign. But any ambitious club’s… »9/15/15 1:28pm9/15/15 1:28pm

Have Manchester City Really Wrapped Up The Premier League Title Already?

Is this real life? We thought it was something last year when Chelsea became champions-elect by the start of November, but sweet Jesus, we’re only four games into the new season and it already looks nearly certain that Manchester City will lift the Premier League trophy come May.… »8/31/15 1:20pm8/31/15 1:20pm

Manchester City Stake Their Claim As The Premier League's Best Team

You wouldn’t exactly describe it as a shock. It was Manchester City, after all. Winners of two of the last four Premier League titles; armed with the best goalscorers in the country; with one of its twistiest, most creative talents; newly infused with the precocious abilities of England’s most promising young prospect »8/17/15 3:20pm8/17/15 3:20pm

The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3

You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-important qualification… »8/07/15 12:29pm8/07/15 12:29pm

Raheem Sterling Is Making Bank Because England Sucks

Raheem Sterling is already, at just 20 years of age, a damn good player, with every chance to become great. This obviously and understandably makes him a very valuable asset, as his now official English-record transfer and new salary attest. What he isn’t is £180,000 a week good. His mix of current ability and… »7/14/15 5:34pm7/14/15 5:34pm

Liverpool Don't Deserve Raheem Sterling

Here’s our daily exercise in keeping competing thoughts in our heads at the same time. European soccer has become player ruled. Particularly in the post-Chelsea, post-Manchester City era, there’s more money sloshing around in the top league than many entire nations. There’s no loyalty to club and not much more to… »6/24/15 6:29pm6/24/15 6:29pm

Incoming Baseball Scares The Bejesus Out Of Manchester City's Joe Hart

Manchester City are in Toronto right now on a postseason panhandling tour, and they took some time to try their hands at some of those whacky American sports. Three of them joined up with “baseball legend” (??) José Bautista to take some cuts in the batting cage. Most came off fine enough, except for the scaredy-cat,… »5/27/15 3:25pm5/27/15 3:25pm

Adam Johnson Arrested, Allegedly Had Sex With 15-Year-Old Girl: Report

According to numerous reports out of England, Sunderland winger Adam Johnson was arrested today by Durham Police on suspicion of having sex with a 15-year-old girl. A Durham Police spokesperson would only tell news outlets that "a 27-year-old man was arrested earlier today on suspicion of sexual activity with a girl… »3/02/15 7:39pm3/02/15 7:39pm