Manchester suffered another blow when Nemanja Vidic was sent off after a second yellow card, meaning he won't be available for next week's huge clash with Chelsea.

• Who's the guy sucking his thumb? Seeing Robinho in that pale blue after envisioning him in a real shade for so long was painful enough, then he had to go and stick in the dagger with a picture perfect set piece ten minutes into his debut. Fortunately for my sanity's sake, a fortuitous bounce off of a Chelsea corner delivered the ball right to Carvalho. The central defender took advantage of his rare opportunity with a powerful blast into a wide open goal. Chelsea went up for good in the second half after an exchange with Malouda on the wing left Lampard free to create some space for a powerful left-footed shot past Joe Hart.

Anelka added a clincher before he was replaced by Drogba, who was making his season debut following injury. Unfortunately for Chelsea (and those within earshot of my screams), John Terry was given a horseshit red card, making him the second key defender to be canceled out of next week's match.

• Still want to sell him? Emmanuel Adebayor was the man for Arsenal, scoring a hat trick in a 4-0 drubbing of Blackburn Rovers. The Gunners find themselves third on the table trailing Chelsea and Liverpool with nine points. Just two points shy of them lies Hull City, the real power of the EPL. The Tigers devoured the Magpies 2-1 in front of thousands of really angry people at St. James Park.

Meet the new world power in soccer, the United Arab Emirates. Actually as people, they suck at the game. The national side is currently 104th (out of 208) in FIFA's World Rankings. But the Emirates have something more important than athletic skill. They have money, obscenely large piles of it.

And while clubs across Europe were scrambling to get one or two player moves finalized before the Monday night close of the summer transfer window—think of it as roughly the equivalent of the MLB trade deadline—the Emirates' Abu Dhabi United Group made the biggest move by buying 30 players in the form of Manchester City FC.

They also bought Robinho. Yeah, sorry we messed that one up, but it's hard to fault us when Chelsea were so confident they would land the Brazilian that they started selling his shirt on its website.

To most Americans, the biggest news in all of this might be, yes, there is another team in Manchester beside United. Think of City as a bit like the L.A. Clippers. They were in the second tier (what's now the Championship) as recently as 2002, and haven't won anything of consequence since 1970. This analogy is a bit imperfect as, until Sir Alex Ferguson showed up at Old Tratford in the mid-Eighties, United were also a bit like the Clippers.

The sale of City, though, wasn't a total shock seeing how the previous owner, former Thai Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra, was a fugitive from justice in his homeland and had at least $1.5 billion in assets frozen this summer. Worst case, City might have been following in the footsteps of Leeds on a freefall down the divisions. Best case, they miss a few (more) payroll payments.

Now, that's not really going to be a problem. In fact they'll probably start installing fountains in the front office lobby that dispense printer ink. The Abu Dhabi United Group is part of the larger Emirates state-held investment fund Abu Dhabi Investment Authority (ADIA). And that guy above, Dr. Sulaiman Al-Fahim (soon to be known as Dr. Evil) is the new face of City. And evil.

Al-Fahim is being referred to as the "Donald Trump of Abu Dhabi." He's the CEO of a real estate development group (his Doctorate is in Real Estate Investment). He's got his own reality show and he likes hanging out with Hollywood stars. The difference is Al-Fahim is only 31 and—guessing here—he doesn't have a shitty toupee under that keffiyeh. Oh, and he has upwards of $1 trillion at his disposal.

Sort of. With assets rumored to be over $1.2 trillion (the equivalent somewhere north of the GDP of Canada but south of that of Italy) ADIA is the world's second largest institutional investor. How much of that Al-Fahim will have access to for running City is TBD. It'll be a small fraction of that number, but it's still going to be more than enough to make things fun.

In less than 12 hours of ownership he broke the record for a British transfer fee by ponying up £32.5 million to snatch Robinho from Real Madrid and from underneath Chelsea. This seemed to be little more than an ante, though, as Al-Fahim immediately singled out Fernando Torres, Cesc Fabregas, Thierry Henry, and David Villa as potential City targets for when the next transfer window opens in January. Think of it like Mr. Burns putting together the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant soccer team.

Just for the fun of showing how much ludicrous cash he has to spend Al-Fahim said he'd be willing to drop £135 million (~$240M) for Cristiano Ronaldo, dwarfing the already ridiculous £90 million valuation that Real Madrid put on the Portuguese queen of the queers. But ridiculous is relative as that money represents about .016% of the total funds under ADIA control. Put another way, say you're an I-banker with a spanking new MBA and a first year gig making $150K, that's the financial outlay equivalent of you taking your girlfriend to a movie, about $25. If you live someplace besides New York or L.A. you can probably splurge for the popcorn.

With a net worth estimated at about £16 billion (~$29B), Chelsea owner Roman Abramovich, the previous standard for over-inflated spendgasms, might suddenly find himself feeling relatively poor. And soon his ridiculously stupid transfer sums might seem quaint by comparison. And Abramovich knows stupid. He dropped £30 mil—the previous transfer record—for Andriy Shevchenko, who scored all of nine times in two seasons (that's not good) at Chelsea before being shipped back to Milan this season on loan.

Not that spending equals winning, but as Abramovich (and the Steinbrenners) have figured out, it sure fucking helps. It's only one player acquisition (so far) and a questionable one at that for the price—Robinho's a nice player and all, but he's only got 25 goals in 100 games at Madrid—so while order among the Big 4 of the Premier League hasn't been upset yet, there could be one fewer Champions League spot to go around, and soon.

[Ed. Note: While ADUG was set up by ADIA (actually still trying to confirm this for certain), the former is a private equity company that is largely funded by outside investors. So, ADUG proper might not have access to the bottomless pit of Emirates state money. However, where Al-Fahim is the face of the deal, the main player behind the scenes is Sheikh Mansour, a member of the Royal Family of Abu Dhabi. So the new City ownership will still likely have access to as much money as they wish to spend.]

Manchester City to Bid £135 for Ronaldo [Guardian.co.uk]
The Donald Trump of Abu Dhabi [Luxist.com]

The Hammers played much of the game with just ten men after Mark Noble was sent off late in the first half with two yellow cards. Oh, and after two weeks (Ed. Note: I'm an idiot) this week they produced exactly zero shots on goal. So if you see a glow coming from Alan Curbishley's front door, it's nothing to worry about, just your run of the mill torch-wielding mob.

• Deco Leads the Way. Chelsea was victorious once again in the day's other match thanks to Deco's superb free kick in the fourth minute and a valiant effort from Peter Cech in goal. Wigan controlled the attack for the remainder of the first half, but were unable to capitalize on their multitude of opportunities. Michael Essien provided a boost to the squad just by playing the entire 90 minutes with a sore ankle, although Chelsea's world-class midfield didn't look nearly as sharp as they did a week ago. The win vaults Chelsea back atop the table over Liverpool, who have managed six points of their own despite playing like warmed over dog shit for two weeks.

• A Monday Night Party. There's just one match left in this second week of Premier League action as the Red Devils travel to Portsmouth for a Monday night (3 pm EST) affair. Perhaps that's where Berbatov is hiding!

Watford 1-2 Manchester United. The Red Devils continue their hot start, downing Watford today behind a Ryan Giggs game winner in the 52nd minute. United is now 3-0. The good news for Watford, though, is that they can spend their off-days working at McDonalds in those uniforms.

Tottenham 0-2 Everton. Despite Kevin Kilbane's ejection at the 32-minute mark for compiling two yellow cards, Everton hung on to spank Spurs, 2-0. The loss leaves Tottenham with just three points in their first three games, despite opening against Bolton, Sheffield United, and Everton. I'm glad I didn't go with them as my preferred team, especially since...

Manchester City 1-0 Arsenal. CITY! (clap, clap) CITY! (clap, clap). A Joey Barton penalty kick in the 41st minute held up for City against Arsenal, giving them the huge upset victory that makes me damn near giddy. Arsenal doubled City up in both shots and shots on goal, but sometimes, a team like City can win a game on just pure awesomeness.

Elsewhere...

Liverpool 2-1 West Ham
Charlton 2-0 Bolton
Wigan 1-0 Reading

• Chelsea 3-0 Manchester City. I'm not even sure that City was on the field today. This was a Globetrotters vs. Generals type of situation, with Chelsea doing whatever they wanted. John Terry scored, Frank Lampard scored, Didier Drogba scored, and Shaun Wright-Phillips added insult to injury when he pantsed Joey Barton and then hit him with a bucket of confetti. City was deadful.

• Wayne Rooney's mad a the FA. Little Wayne was handed a three-game suspension by England's Football Association for a red card that he picked up in a preseason friendly, and he told them today that if they don't overturn it, he won't be participating in any promotional work or personal appearances, nor can they use his likeness in any promotional materials. Pretty ballsy move by Rooney, and probably not something that could be pulled off by any other player in England. The FA's now either got to cave in completely, or risk alienating a player that can't do without.

• Chelsea and Liverpool go head-to-head in the Community Shield tomorrow. The coaches have already started needling each other. Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez had this quote: "They spend more than everybody else every summer, but when we put a side on the pitch against them they know we will match them." And Chelsea boss Jose Maurinho fired back with: "They will feel that they are in much better condition than Chelsea, so they have to win the game. If they lose against a Chelsea side at just 50% of their quality, that could affect their confidence ahead of the Premiership season."

• Manchester City's been so ravaged by injuries that manager Stuart Pearce had to name himself as a replacement player for a game against Japanese team Kashima Antlers last week. He probably should have stuck himself in the starting line-up, as City lost 4-3. The Blues also made a couple of minor transfer moves this week, picking up Swedish goalie Andreas Isaksson, and letting goalie David James walk to Portsmouth.

• It's not really Premiership-related, but it's worth noting that David Beckham's been unceremoniously dropped completely for England's national team. England plays Greece in a friendly on Wednesday, and Beckham won't be there. He's taking it pretty well, all things considered. "I'm proud to have played for England for 10 years and my passion for representing my country remains as strong as ever," he said. It seems like a little bit of scapegoating to me. No one had a great World Cup for England, but Beckham's the oft-criticized, high-profile guy, so the new coach makes his bold new statement by going after Beckham. Weak.