<

The Botched David de Gea Transfer Was A Glorious Clusterfuck

Transfer deadline day is always liable to turn up a couple shockers, either in completed deals from out of nowhere or transfers that appear imminent only to collapse right before the crossing of the final T. Real Madrid’s failed attempted to buy David de Gea from Manchester United is one of the latter, and what a… » 9/01/15 12:00pm Yesterday 12:00pm

Chicharito Had A Couple Of Brutal Misses Today

Manchester United hammered Club Brugge 4-0 in Bruges today to advance to the Champions League group stage. Wayne Rooney emphatically ended his goal drought with a hat trick, and United are assured the massive revenue from at least six more Champions League matches. Practically the only Red Devil to have a bad day was… » 8/27/15 12:21am 8/27/15 12:21am

Manchester United Still Don't Realize They're Not Manchester United Anymore

It’s kind of cute, if in a sad sort of way. Manchester United, once the biggest name in the game, chasing after superstars in the press like a giddy child racing after lightning bugs in the night, hoping to nab one or two like the big clubs can but knowing deep down that it won’t actually happen. » 8/26/15 4:43pm 8/26/15 4:43pm

The First Goal Of The Premier League Season Is ... An Own Goal

Here it is, the day we’ve all been waiting for: the return of the EPL. Manchester United-Tottenham is our opener, and though Spurs started brightly, all their good work was undone thanks to a terrible pass by Nabil Bentaleb. It wasn’t the prettiest season-christening goal, but we’ll take it. » 8/08/15 8:17am 8/08/15 8:17am

The Best Of The Best: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 3

You’ve made it to the third and final installment of our Premier League preview, and what lies below is a rundown of what we at Deadspin consider the six (6) least bad teams in all of England’s top flight. This thirdish of the league is important because this is where teams are fighting for all-important qualification… » 8/07/15 12:29pm 8/07/15 12:29pm

Phil Jones Falling Down Chasing The Ball Is A Blast In Extreme Slow-Mo

Manchester United drew 1-1 with Arsenal yesterday in a battle of clubs fighting for third place in the Premiership, and the desire to win drove Man United defender Phil Jones to the ground in search of a ball that was just a bit too elusive—no matter how much crawling it took. But even from his hands and knees, Jones… » 5/18/15 2:27pm 5/18/15 2:27pm

Jürgen Klopp To Step Down As Borussia Dortmund Manager At End Of Season

After seven seasons, including two Bundesliga titles, one DFB-Pokal trophy, a Champions League final run, and winning the admiration of everyone in the sport, Jürgen Klopp has announced in a press conference today that he will no longer be the manager of Borussia Dortmund on July 1st. » 4/15/15 9:26am 4/15/15 9:26am

Manchester Derby Is Already 1-1 And Manic

The Manchester Derby lit up early for the visiting side as Sergio Agüero deposited a dish from David Silva past David de Gea to give City a 1-0 lead. The entire play set up is nice-looking soccer (Milner’s pretty awesome here), but you have to ask what Manchester United’s defenders were doing here? » 4/12/15 11:19am 4/12/15 11:19am

Wayne Rooney Perfection Gives Man United The Advantage They Need

Don’t look now—and Aston Villa may still find the equalizer, having scored just a minute after this—but Wayne Rooney is up to his usual tricks, with a physics-defying touch followed by a half-volley on the rise, between two defenders. The full video, with perfect commentary, is below: » 4/04/15 11:43am 4/04/15 11:43am

Adorable Soccer Man Juan Mata Has The Most Adorable Blog

Just looking at Juan Mata gives the impression that you're looking into the eyes of the sweetest, most helpful librarian who just oh-by-the-way happens to be a phenomenal soccer player. His slight build, his boyish face paradoxically covered with a lumberjack's stubble, his impressive command of English, and the… » 3/30/15 5:23pm 3/30/15 5:23pm

Here's Steven Gerrard's Final Liverpool-Man United Match In Its Entirety

Steven Gerrard made sure his final match in the Liverpool-Manchester United rivalry was a memorable one, but not in the way he'd have hoped. After coming on as a sub at halftime, he received the ball six times, played five passes, made one crunching tackle that could've gotten him a yellow, and ultimately was justly… » 3/22/15 12:12pm 3/22/15 12:12pm

Exquisite Juan Mata Scissor Kick Put Man United 2-0 Up On Liverpool

In what was a fairly insane second half of today's huge Liverpool-Manchester United match, there was at least one moment of brilliance to break up the surrounding nuttiness. That was the criminally underused Juan Mata scoring his second goal of the game in acrobatic fashion. » 3/22/15 11:25am 3/22/15 11:25am

Why Would Gareth Bale Want To Go Back To England?

There's a battle for Gareth Bale's soul being waged in the media of two different countries. On one side, you have the Spanish press expressing the frustrations of their readers by bashing the player's lazy, timid displays on the pitch. On the other, the press in Bale's native Britain is using its pages to decry his… » 3/17/15 4:18pm 3/17/15 4:18pm

Wayne Rooney Mocks Boxing Controversy With Hilarious Goal Celebration

Manchester United are running roughshod over Tottenham, up three goals to none at halftime in a crucial match between Champions League aspirants. Wayne Rooney made a great run and finish to score United's third, and afterwards unveiled the boxing knockout celebration above. » 3/15/15 12:59pm 3/15/15 12:59pm