Sad Man United Score Great Goal, Then Get Pounded In Champions League

So...the gig's up. Manchester United, who have played like absolute dog shit all season long, almost definitely won't play in the Champions League next season. After drawing defending CL champions FC Bayern last week in the first leg of their quarterfinal, they needed to avoid a loss in Germany to advance to the… » 4/09/14 4:58pm 4/09/14 4:58pm

Manchester United Get A Big Win, Remain Soccer's Funniest Joke

Coaches and players often say, when asked whether something or other has added fire to an upcoming game, that if just being in the Big Time Sporting Event doesn't motivate you, you're beyond hope anyway. If that's true, then Manchester United's passion-filled 3-0 comeback against Olympiakos probably doesn't say much… » 3/20/14 5:04pm 3/20/14 5:04pm

Juan Mata Is Signed. What Will Manchester United Do With Him?

We knew something had to give at Manchester United, what with the team's huge mounds of money begging to fill the huge holes in the squad, but it's still a bit of a surprise that the deal in hand is for Chelsea's Juan Mata, bought for a reported £37M. A bona fide world-class number 10 is a nice addition for a struggling … » 1/28/14 11:13am 1/28/14 11:13am

What's Wrong With Manchester United, And How To Fix It

Yesterday, defending Premier League champions Manchester United faced the league's last place team, Sunderland, in the first leg of the League Cup semifinal. After losing the first two matches of 2014 (at home to Tottenham and to Swansea), United were fighting to not lose three straight for the first time since 2001.… » 1/08/14 5:08pm 1/08/14 5:08pm

Facebook Map: The Manchester United States Of America

Champions League action resumes today, but who is America rooting for? The map above, using data provided by Facebook, shows which of the qualifying teams have the most "likes," by state. While Americans like to make fun of all the people overseas who randomly wear Yankees caps, it's a clean sweep in the U.S. for… » 10/22/13 1:50pm 10/22/13 1:50pm

This Manchester United Goal Ruined Luis Suárez's Liverpool Return

Manchester United hosted Liverpool in England's League Cup this afternoon, and even though the tournament isn't too much of a priority for either team, both managers decided to field nearly full-strength sides to oust their rivals. It was also star Liverpool striker's Luis Suárez's first action with the club since last… » 9/25/13 5:35pm 9/25/13 5:35pm

Man United Fan Marries Into City Family, Trolls Them With Great Toast

This groom is giving what appears to be (and actually might be, in the end) a very heartfelt toast about an important person in his life that is "no longer with us." When he asks his new family—who are apparently all Manchester City supporters—to stand and toast this influential person, he pulls the rug right out from… » 9/23/13 8:35pm 9/23/13 8:35pm

No One Has Any Idea What Is Going On In The Premier League

European leagues were on hiatus during the international break for World Cup qualifiers, and so today was the first chance we all got to see the new Premier League since the close of the record-breaking transfer window that saw an ungodly amount of money and men move in, out, and around England. It was our first… » 9/14/13 5:02pm 9/14/13 5:02pm