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Posts Tagged “

Manchester United

stag don't

Wayne Rooney Stag Party Photos Make Eye Gouging Sound Fun


Man U's Wayne Rooney is having a "stag do" (Huh? Googling, googling, googling...oh! A stag party. Crazy Brits.) in Ibiza in advance of his marriage to fiancee Coleen McLoughlin. Among the zany antics, Wayne has been ordered to wear a mankini , the green thongish thing Borat wore in the movie, by some friends and his brothers, Graham and John. More »

david hirshey is the closer

Weep Not For John Terry

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.

Wide right. Are there two more magical words in the English language aside from perhaps open bar? But for a New York Giants fan and Chelsea-hater, wide right is a thing of poetic beauty. First Scott Norwood misses from 47 yards against the Big Blue in the '91 Super Bowl and now John Terry misses from 12 yards against ManU in yesterday's Champions League final.

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soccer

Okay, That Was Kind Of Exciting

Mr. Hirshey will have a much more comprehensive and aritculate wrap-up of the Champions League, um...championship?...tomorow, but, for now, this photo will have to suffice. More »

david hirshey is the closer

The EPL Season Ends ... And Look Who Called It!

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.

I told you so. That's right, way back on August 6, 2007, five days before the start of this interminable but historic season, I correctly predicted the order of finish at the top of the league: ManU, Chelsea, Arsenal and Liverpool. If only the Lords of the EPL had listened to me then and awarded the title to United, think of all the pain and misery we could have saved ourselves, to say nothing of my liver.

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david hirshey is the closer

Man U Rubs It In

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.

Go ahead, bow down. Heel before Manchester United like you would a certain overdressed German guy with a pointy hat who's playing to a sold out Yankee Stadium this week. They deserve it. They stand on the cusp of pulling off an astonishing double championship, and they have done it with style and panache. So why am I not ready to genuflect?

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david hirshey is the closer

Remembering ManU, Then And Now

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.

When I walked into Kinsale Tavern on Sunday morning, making sure to step lightly around the dried tears of Patriots fans right outside the entrance, I was expecting a raucous welcome. After all, I was rockin' my Giants Super Bowl Champions t-shirt and still recovering from reprising Fear and Loathing in Phoenix with Leitch who, among other things, offered to blow a state trooper — and give him a signed book! — if he didn't search our car.

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david hirshey is the closer

All Hail The Loathsome Ronaldo


David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer.

If I weren't so filled with the milk — ok, beer — of human kindness, I would loathe Cristiano Ronaldo almost as much as I hate Tom Brady. Here's a guy who after sustaining a small gash on his left eyebrow — oh, the poor baby! — in a Champions League game last year said, "I don't like to look like this, but in four or five days I will be beautiful once again." Here's a guy who in the first sentence of his new book proclaims, "My name is Cristiano Ronaldo ... and I know this name means a lot to those who love football." Yeah, it also means a lot to those who love hair-gel, half-naked Vogue layouts, winking at refs and diving more than Jacques Cousteau.

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david hirshey is the closer

ManU's Very High Ankle Sprains

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. This column would have run Monday, but no one was reading the site on Monday.

I used to think that I'd witnessed some wild-ass shit at my company's holiday parties back in the day. I mean, I once had an assistant who thought he had gotten the ultimate Christmas grab bag, having double-dipped with two different young ladies, only to be punched out on the dance floor by one of the girls. But now I realize that what I thought was outrageous behavior was actually kind of innocent holiday hijinks.

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getting weekend soccer quotas outta the way

So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told

Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that city where all the roads are, there's a soccer game about to go down between unbeaten Arsenal and just-that-one-time beaten Manchester United. One versus two. More »

nine year old footie

He Just Needs Some Tiny Hooligans


In case you haven't seen this kid yet, this is a nine-year-old who just signed a contract with Manchester United. It's the Reggie Bush kid, but, you know, not using his hands. And now Man U has signed him. Freddy Adu's a geezer fogey, really.


david hirshey is the closer

A Gruesome End To All That

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer. More »

soccer

Chelsea Are Your FA Champions

It must've been a rough morning for our pal David Hirshey. Not only did Chelsea get a 1-0 win when Didier Drogba scored in extra time, but it came at the end of a game that's been described as "rubbish football" and "cack." More »

soccer

Premiership Title Gift-Wrapped For Manchester United

Manchester United clinched the Premiership title this afternoon, on a day when they were not playing, their head coach was on the golf course, and two other teams tied. More »

manchester united

Today In The Premiership...

Man City 0-1 Man Utd. The derby win means that Chelsea has to beat Arsenal tomorrow, or Manchester United clinches the Premiership title. I realize that this is somber news for the Manchester United haters, so I offer this as well: More »

premiership

Today In The Premiership...

Watford 1-1 Man City. We start at the bottom today, and the team sinking even below the bottom. Watford sealed their departure from the Premiership today by failing to beat Manchester City, and they'll spend next season back in the Championship. They needed the full three points today, and would've gotten it, had goalie Ben Foster not forgotten which team Darius Vassell played for. We bid farewall to Watford, the only team in professional sports whose players dress more like McDonalds employees than even the Atlanta Hawks. More »

soccer

Hirshey: In The Wake Of A Thrashing

David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. More »

Camaraderie Is Fostered By Manchester United Because we're in the mood to be kind of cheap today. Sometimes, circumstances collide to provide, in the midst of chaos, a rare moment of truth. (Via Knees Up Mother Brown)

premiership

Today in the Premiership...

Manchester United 4-1 Bolton. Cristiano Ronaldo is as magnificent as he is handsome. He spent the day carving up the Bolton defense, setting up goals for Wayne Rooney (who had 2), and Ji-Sung Park (who also had 2). It was a dominating performance, but it didn't come without a price. Gary Neville somehow managed to cripple himself on an innocent-looking collision with Gary Speed. More »