Mario Balotelli’s career may be in shambles, as one of the most talented young forwards in the world languishes alongside the teens that make up Liverpool’s reserve team as the club desperately searches for some sucker to offload him on, but hey, at least he still does funny things from time to time.
Silvio Berlusconi, bunga bunga party alumnus and the only crustacean to serve as prime minister of Italy, has been convicted of paying for sex with an underaged prostitute and tax fraud, and he’s been accused of a truly expansive list of other crimes. Berlusconi was buddies with Muammar Gaddafi, is banned for life…
No way, man. Tell me this isn’t real. Here’s all we know, taken from Mario Balotelli’s Instagram:
Like all lovers of joy, crude humor, and outrageous behavior, our hearts leap at the prospect of hearing new Mario Balotelli stories. This one, about Balo’s urinary humor, does not disappoint.
Mario Balotelli made his first Serie A start for AC Milan yesterday, and despite a questionable haircut—did he go to former Milan teammate Stephan El Shaarawy’s hairdresser and ask for the Vegeta?—he opened his team’s scoring with this absolutely perfect free kick:
The familiar Mario Balotelli cycle has been completed yet again. Stuck on hard times with a team that didn’t want him and telegraphing his own unhappiness with his employers by acting out, Balotelli has been gifted another reprieve. A big club, this time his former home AC Milan, has swooped in to rescue him,…
Here are three things that have happened to exiled Liverpool and Italian national team striker Mario Balotelli in the last day or so:
Liverpool have pretty obviously been trying to offload the mercurial and misfiring Mario Balotelli for months now. And while we haven’t yet seen the kind of public outbursts we’re used to when Balo has previously overstayed his welcome, the Independent has a rundown of previously unreported incidents that have…
C'mon. If that's the point of your article, you better make damn sure you've got the accompanying pictures right.
Liverpool were hosting Turkish side Beşiktaş in the European Soccer NIT today, and it was scoreless until Liverpool young cock Jordon Ibe was tripped up in the box in the 85th minute. Penalty! Captain-for-the-day Jordan Henderson picked up the ball and walked to the spot, which is when hero and burgeoning…
The English Football Association is charging Mario Balotelli after an Instagram post the soccer star claimed was "anti-racist with humor."
Does that look like Mario Balotelli to you?
On Saturday, Liverpool dominated midtable side Hull City, but couldn't find the back of the net. Though they came close to stealing all three points with a late flurry, the match finished a scoreless draw. It was Liverpool's best performance of a nightmare week.
The start of a soccer season, like the start of a school year, holds the promise of new adventures and fresh starts. Caught up in this spirit of growth and renewal, Mario Balotelli went to Instagram to drop some touching bits of wisdom on today's school children.