Mario Balotelli Does Selfish, Swaggy Thing, Wins Game For Liverpool

Liverpool were hosting Turkish side Beşiktaş in the European Soccer NIT today, and it was scoreless until Liverpool young cock Jordon Ibe was tripped up in the box in the 85th minute. Penalty! Captain-for-the-day Jordan Henderson picked up the ball and walked to the spot, which is when hero and burgeoning… » 2/19/15 6:05pm 2/19/15 6:05pm

Mario Balotelli Caught Sliding Into Some Teenage Girls' Instagram DMs

Most of the time, Mario Balotelli is really good at Instagram. Sometimes, though, he messes up. First, it was posting a dumb internet meme (that, to be fair, elicited an even dumber response by the braindead English FA). Now, we find him hitting on a couple 19-year-old Icelandic girls in their DMs. » 1/08/15 6:48pm 1/08/15 6:48pm

Mario Balotelli Charged Over 'Improper' Instagram Post

The English Football Association is charging Mario Balotelli after an Instagram post the soccer star claimed was "anti-racist with humor." » 12/06/14 4:50pm 12/06/14 4:50pm

Liverpool Still Rely On A Player They No Longer Have

On Saturday, Liverpool dominated midtable side Hull City, but couldn't find the back of the net. Though they came close to stealing all three points with a late flurry, the match finished a scoreless draw. It was Liverpool's best performance of a nightmare week. » 10/28/14 3:24pm 10/28/14 3:24pm

Mario Balotelli Does Helium Voice Trick, Still Has Spirit Of A Child

Is it too soon to delete that other post? Because Mario Balotelli's Instagram is all you need to know about soccer. » 9/26/14 4:34pm 9/26/14 4:34pm

Mario Balotelli Gives Important Words Of Advice To School Children

The start of a soccer season, like the start of a school year, holds the promise of new adventures and fresh starts. Caught up in this spirit of growth and renewal, Mario Balotelli went to Instagram to drop some touching bits of wisdom on today's school children. » 9/09/14 5:49pm 9/09/14 5:49pm

Mario Balotelli's Supposed New House Is Cool And Good

This may not be news to you, but Italian soccer star Mario Balotelli, who is the funnest, is back in England after being bought by Premier League side Liverpool from AC Milan. Since he'll ostensibly be sticking around for a little while, at least, he needs somewhere to live. This is the house he's rumored to have… » 9/04/14 11:16am 9/04/14 11:16am

British Skip Bayless Has A Strong Take On Mario Balotelli

We'll have more on this as an actual soccer move when (if?) it becomes official, but it's looking pretty near certain that AC Milan striker/international style icon Mario Balotelli will be returning to the Premier League, slotting in at Liverpool to replace Luis Suárez. Chris Bascombe over at the Telegraph has fucking » 8/21/14 11:46am 8/21/14 11:46am

Fans Rush Pitch, Get Selfie With Mario Balotelli

Two fans rushed the pitch in the 90th minute of A.C. Milan's 5-1 friendly loss to Manchester City at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. The Idiots on the Pitch wanted to get a selfie with Mario Balotelli and Mario obliged. » 7/27/14 6:37pm 7/27/14 6:37pm

Mario Balotelli Jumps Over A Guy, Knees Him In The Head In The Process

Italy are playing Uruguay today in World Cup Group D's final matchday. The winner of of this game joins Costa Rica (!(?)) in the knockout stages, so as you'd imagine, it's a bit chippy. In the 23rd minute, Balotelli retreated into his own half to win a header, elevated, and jumped right over a Uruguayan player. He … » 6/24/14 12:47pm 6/24/14 12:47pm

Mario Balotelli Has A Better Idea For Italy's Lineup

The collecting craze at this World Cup is not trading cards, but stickers. Panini's World Cup album is once again a hot seller, with collectors buying sticker packs in the hopes of completing an entire national side—or even the whole album. Mario Balotelli is his own sort of completist. » 6/17/14 11:40am 6/17/14 11:40am

England's Trainer Injures Himself Celebrating Sturridge Equalizer

The first half of England-Italy had a little bit of everything. Italy took a 1-0 lead on a long-distance strike from midfielder Claudio Marchisio. England, likely preoccupied with Andrea Pirlo, bit on his drive on the ball and left Marchisio all alone. He put it right inside the post. » 6/14/14 7:35pm 6/14/14 7:35pm

Mario Balotelli Cries; Everyone Thinks It's Because Of Racist Chants

There's a story going around that Mario Balotelli was reduced to tears after being subjected to racist chants in Italy today. This would not be shocking—there is a history here—but it's not at all clear that racism was behind his tears. » 2/08/14 7:05pm 2/08/14 7:05pm

Mario Balotelli Wears Thing

White cleats are usually a conservative choice on the pitch, so it took seeing this close-up before noticing that, like most things in his life, these too are testament to Mario Balotelli's own awesomeness. » 12/16/13 5:04pm 12/16/13 5:04pm

Mario Balotelli Searches For Pig's Thing

» 8/09/13 9:13am 8/09/13 9:13am

Mario Balotelli Dunks Thing

Did you know that Mario Balotelli can dunk a basketball? He's a 6-foot-2 professional athlete, so it shouldn't be all that surprising that he can throw it down, but this is still a rather impressive display. I think this dunk may even qualify as a rim-rattler. » 8/08/13 12:15pm 8/08/13 12:15pm