•Many players were reportedly laughing as they left a team meeting where they were told of Mark Mangino's resignation. Perhaps they had also been sent this photo of an unknown flyer with a familiar waistline and hairline. (Thanks to Dr. Mongoose for the pic. Update)

•In other, more successful college football news, Oregon is heading to the Rose Bowl for the first time since 1995, where they'll face Ohio State. The automatic bid system seems like a good idea until you get a matchup of two fairly decent teams emerging from horrible conferences.

•Days after a sliding clinic with Joe Girardi, Mark Sanchez injures his knee while sliding. It doesn't matter, because the Bills and the Bills, and the Jets keep their playoff hopes alive. Thankfully, the media's collective knees are fine, so they'll be able to cover Sanchez's poise with their customary reverence.

•The revolving doors at third in Philly and short in Boston bring in their newest warm bodies; Placido Polanco to the Phillies and Marco Scutaro to the Red Sox. We're one Orlando Cabrera short of a Three Tenors of Utility Infielders.

•A day after signing Billy Wagner, the Braves add Takashi Saito. I like it. You want to recreate Atlanta's dominant pitching of the turn of the century? Sign guys who were at their most effective back then.

•Albert Pujols launched a center for adults with Down syndrome. At this point, he's the only unimpeachable athlete we have left. I will now ignore media coverage for the next ten years to preserve this image of him.

•••••

Friday. Rock.

The player, Cory Kipp, sought out the Lawrence Journal-World to refute Mangino's claims that he has never mistreated his players during his time in Lawrence. "I'm doing this," he tells the paper, "because I've got proof how horrible a coach he is." His account:

Kipp began the crawl and, after moving several yards, felt a burning sensation in his hands. On multiple occasions, Kipp said, he stopped to complain that the turf was burning his hands - according to a University of Arkansas report, artificial playing surfaces have been documented at up to 199 degrees in temperature - but was ordered by Mangino, who was walking alongside the crawling player, to keep going.

By the time Kipp had finished, the skin near the heel of his hand had been completely seared, and photos provided to the Journal-World depict blistering and a sizable area of missing skin.

As a result of the injury, Kipp said, he was forced to undergo extensive treatment on his hand by then-head football trainer Carol Jarosky throughout the next three weeks, and although he said at least two members of the coaching staff were aware of the injury, he was told to practice through it.

"It wasn't like because my hand was burned, I took a couple days off," Kipp said. "They made me practice."

Kipp took photos of his hand after the incident, but he decided not to report anything lest he lose playing time or even his scholarship. Mangino will now no doubt lump in Kipp with the 1 percent of KU players who don't "appreciate" his style of coaching, which style includes: taunting a kid for having an alcoholic father; threatening to send a guy back to St. Louis, where he could get shot with his "homies"; threatening to send another guy back to Oakland, where he could spend the rest of his life "drinking out of a brown paper bag"; poking and grabbing players and occasionally making them crawl across 200 degree turf for the grievous crime of missing a weigh-in. He's basically Don Rickles meets Junction Boys meets Ponderosa. It sounds like he'll be fired very soon.

Ex-player accuses Mangino of mistreatment [KUsports.com]
News Flash: Mangino's fate awaits [Yahoo!]

•Three TDs for Ricky Williams? I'd say this is the start of an epic inspirational story in Miami. You know, if the Dolphins weren't 5-5 and going nowhere.

•Keep talking, Mangino. It'll only make things better to say you're giving these kids the parenting their real parents failed at. Maybe, if that parenting includes emotional, verbal and physical abuse, plus eating the entire Thanksgiving dinner before the kids even get a bite.

•Obviously we'll need a few years for perspective, but the Hand of Gaul already places number three on this list of the top ten handballs of all time. Unsurprisingly, Braylon Edwards is nowhere to be found on the list. (Also, it's soccer. I know. Shut up.)

•In more serious soccer news, an English Sunday league player received a yellow card for farting in the referee's face. Had it been another player, he would have gone down like he'd been shot.

•Curtis Granderson is shopping what sounds like the most boring reality show of all time, in which he'd take viewers on tours of stadiums. The "let's explore Comerica Park's outfield" show is a 5-parter.

•Shaq is going to curate an art show. Is there anything the man can't do? Besides play basketball anymore...

•Finally, Georgia's beloved bulldog passed away suddenly at the age of four from heart disease. I'm filing that sentence away in case we need to use it for Baby Mangino.

•••••

Good morning, and TGIFF. Try not to work too hard.

Raymond Brown, a wide receiver who was a senior last season, said Mangino would "say personal, hurtful, embarrassing things in front of people," which kind of makes Jayhawk football players sound like sensitive little daisies. Until you learn that when Mangino wants to say something hurtful, the man cuts like a surgeon.

"One day, [Mangino] said in front of the entire team, 'Are you going to be a lawyer or do you want to become an alcoholic like your Dad?'"

Ouch. In another instance, when confronting a KU player who had received a "minor in possession" ticket, Mangino told him "You'll be drinking out of a brown paper bag the rest of (your) life." Brown, who had a brother that was once shot in the arm, says that Mangino once said to him, "If you don't shut up, I'm going to send you back to St. Louis so you can get shot with your homies." So basically, if Mangino ever learned about a painful incident from a player's background, he stored that little nugget away so he could break it out at the precise moment when it would do the most damage to the player's psyche. That's talent.

Several others also confess that Mangino occasionally gets physical with players, although it never seemed to rise above the level of poking or grabbing jerseys. And as at least one former player pointed out, it is curious that all these stories are flooding in now that Kansas football is having its worst season in years.

"I'm not going to deny that some of those things didn't happen," [former defensive lineman Russell] Brorsen said. "But I think part of the problem here is you have four or five years worth of stuff hitting the fan within a period of three or four days. I think [Mangino] could get pretty intense. And I think there was swearing. But my personal opinion is it's not much worse than what you would get at another university."

It is curious that no one seemed to have any complaints about Mangino's vicious temper when the Jayhawks were 12-1. But despite the program's "turnaround," they have only had 3 winning seasons since Mangino took over in 2002—and this year isn't one of them. His days are likely numbered.

Ex-Kansas players: Coach Mark Mangino said 'hurtful' things [ESPN]
Mangino confident probe will clear him [Fox Sports]
Not-so-gentle reign [KU Sports]

Whitlock's become the arbiter of pudginess in the last few months (and Becky-getting-on-ing), first having issue with Serena's ballooning weight and now Mangino's girth. Unlike the Williams column, which seemed unnecessarily cruel considering the woman had just won the U.S. Open, Whitlock suggests Mangino's temper is a direct result of his obesity. Whitlock knows this because he's also a hefty-sized individual who's also struggled with weight problems:

Beyond X's and O's, good coaching is a transference of energy. It takes a massive amount of energy to impact 100 boys on a college campus. At his age (53) and weight, Mangino cannot sustain the necessary energy level to positively influence his players. His team is being engulfed by his negative energy, a dark spirit driven by his excess weight.

And Whitlock stays on this track throughout the column, offering that firing Mangino right now would be the "humane thing to do", as if he's an obese old labrador retriever suffering from hip dysplasia. But he recovers nicely:

If he spent two years away from football addressing his weight problem, applied for a job at 270 pounds, he would be a can't-miss BCS candidate. Heck, he would be a terrific choice to coach in the NFL.

So, if Andy Reid weighed 270 pounds throughout most of his coaching career, the Eagles would have won four Super Bowls by now. I love this logic. The Eagles front office should get Coach Reid a Lap-Band to salvage the season.

****

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Barry Petchesky, 165-pounds of rompin', stompin' dynamite, blogs through the witching hour.

Mark Mangino seems very jolly, but according to KU's parking and transit authority, he used to have anger issues. And parking issues. In his first few years as the Jayhawks coach—before he was a national coach of the year with the pull to get his own private parking space—Mangino had a habit of parking in school loading zones (I know, I know) and then either not paying or getting the tickets voided. In 2007, he was issued eight tickets in a span of six months and when he received his last one, he blew up at the student who issued them.

In his written report, Walters said that Mangino had told him that he'd been unloading notebooks and had asked how he could unload without getting a ticket. [Ed note: Yes, yes. "Unload."] Walters responded that he should get a loading permit from one of the parking booths on campus or to contact the office.

"He got out of the car, slammed the door and came within about a half-foot of my face and started yelling at me, saying that I couldn't answer any of his questions and that he works 16-hour days and has no time to get a pass," Walters wrote, in his report ....

"This job gives you power, does it?" Mangino said, according to Walters. "You feel real f—-ing powerful walking around like a big shot, huh? … Why in the hell else would you be bothering me with this?"

No, Walters said, the office had told him to issue tickets for cars parked in the loading zone.

"So offices tell you what to do?" Mangino said, according to Walters. "F—-ing offices walk around telling you what to do all day?"

Mangino eventually got back into his car, Walters said, before continuing: "You just don't like talking to me because I'm ethnic, just because I talk with my hands."

This is just shocking. Mark Mangino is "ethinic"?

Also, this whole saga of Mangino's investigation is apparently happening because senior linebacker Arist Wright complained that Mangino—a noted disciplinarian and occasional hothead—"poked him in the chest." Seriously? He could lose his job for poking someone in the chest? Isn't that why football players wear pads? Even the freakin' baby thinks that's weak.

Probe aims to determine if Mangino went too far [Lawrence Journal-World]
Documents show what it looks like when Mangino loses his temper [KU Sports]
Kansas Jayhawks football coach thinks he's above, of all things, parking tickets [True/Slant]

On Monday, KU Athletic Director Lew Perkins held a team meeting—without Mangino present—to discuss "concerns" about their coach. The meeting reportedly stems from an incident earlier this season that involved Mangino "yelling at and making contact with a player." Several players and parents are now involved and Perkins allegedly promised that an "unbiased person, who will have no opinions either way, will conduct the investigation." This is ... how you say? ... not good.

No one is very big on the details here, but at a press conference today, Mangino said, "I haven't lost the team one bit. I may have lost some people around here, but it's not players. Take that for what it's worth, you decipher it." I presume that the "some people" includes the AD and since he cuts the checks, I would say that losing him is much worse for Mark than losing players. Speaking of losing, Kansas has done a lot of that this year so if the school was looking for an bigger excuse to dump their formerly beloved head coach, this could be it. (Bastion of truth Wikipedia already has him listed as fired.)

Of course, the real tragedy here is that if Mark Mangino is no longer allowed to coach, then will we be allowed to continue using this picture to illustrate stories about Kansas, college football, and/or fat guys? Aren't Bode Lubber and his legions of fans the real victims here?

On the plus side, this story does give me an excuse to post this video from the Nebraska-Kansas game on Saturday. I mean, Baby Mangino has heart, but this video has a football in the groin.

Mangino: I may have lost some people around here, but it's not the players [Lawrence Journal-World]
Kansas Jayhawks program faces internal investigation [ESPN]
What Do Kansas Jayhawks Make of Secretive Meeting? [Bleacher Report]

Baby Mangino is actually Bode Lubber, a six-month-old boy from Wichita, Kansas. No explanation (beyond divine providence) has been given for why his mom, Angie, decided to go with the Mark Mangino tribute, but her decision to send his picture to a few friends via the email was a glorious one indeed. Young Bode's picture has even appeared on "ESPN, a national sports television network." (My stars!)

Angie says that she doesn't believe she can top this costume next Halloween, but I don't believe anyone will ever top this costume for 1,000 Halloweens. Little Bode—can I call you Baby M?—we salute you!

"Baby Mangino" Puts Wichita Baby in Spotlight [KWCH]

This one—hereafter referred to as Baby Mangino II or BM2—is actually named Alex and lives in New Castle, PA ... birth place of the original Papa Bear. I'm not sure if the resemblance is quite the same, but I give him points for the sweet props. What do you guys think?

He's definitely got the drool down.

And just for reference ...

Boy ... I am not looking forward to my dreams tonight.

We're rolling through the college football top 25. Today we get things started with a photoshopped Mark Mangino. Can things get any better for Kansans? The season countdown has entered single digits. We're just nine days away from the glory that is Vanderbilt @ Miami-Ohio. Today's Kansas preview is brought to us by Ryan Patton of the very solid Kansas blog linked here.

Don’t Fuck with the Mangenius

I know what you're thinking and the answer is a resounding, "yes!" Of course I would give anything to see the Big Man trade spots with John Turturro and don the Jesus' pedderass purple bowling suit. And no, I probably wouldn't ever recover. But it would totally be worth it. Unfortunately, I'll likely have to settle for black velour suits. What? That's not what you were thinking?

Expectations

Very well, instead we’ll talk about the Jayhawks and their very rare lofty preseason ranking. In fact it's so rare that it's only happened five times in the history of the AP poll. Yet still, many (even Mark May!) are saying that they are likely to be this year's disappointment. Yeah, the team has been ranked a grand total of five times in the preseason and you think they're going to disappoint?

Mangino Eats Expectations for Breakfast

And probably a few other high calorie treats as well, but that’s neither here nor there. Hell, the fact that anyone outside of the Big XII now knows Kansas has a football team is a shit ton of progress for us that witnessed the Terry Allen years ('97-'01). And no, you shouldn't feel bad for not knowing who Terry Allen is. In fact, you should feel blessed. When Mangino took over for said dipshit he brought along Bob Stoops to one of the first team workouts and Stoops informed him that he had at most three legitimate Division I athletes on his roster. So there's that. And sadly there are many more similar stories.

Yet in just his sixth season he managed to notch a BCS victory. Kansas now has exactly the same amount of BCS wins as: Nebraska, Florida State, Tennessee and Michigan. They have now exceeded the number of BCS wins by Frank Beamer and his football sized goiter. They also have more than that booger munching team from the east (Methzouri, for the lay person), who has never seen a BCS game (or Final Four). But I digress.

The truth of the matter is that until recently I was extremely worried about this season. For one thing, as the old adage goes, it’s tough to get to the top, but it’s a lot tougher to stay there. And frankly, I figured the team was likely to get a little complacent after last season’s success. And when you combine that with the loss of some seniors, some talent and a much more difficult schedule things could get ugly. Especially at a school that has never gone to bowls in back-to-back seasons in its storied history. Enter Mangino.

For a guy that obviously exercises zero discipline in regards to his physical appearance, he is a notorious bastard when it comes to his football team. To be sure, Kansas is quite a ways away from fielding a team with comparable talent to OU, Texas, even Nebraska, and probably over half of the teams in the SEC. In short, without a similar attention to detail (first in TO margin, 3rd in penalties, etc.) they probably won’t be nearly as successful. But with the rotund dictator at the helm I’m not expecting a huge drop-off.

Offense

As for the personnel, they won’t look like LSU when they walk off the bus. But that’s the beauty of college football. And the spread offense. As long as you can keep them guessing there is no reason that a quarterback who looks more like a frat guy than a football player can’t throw for 3500 yards, 33 touchdowns and only 7 interceptions. In the interest of keeping things succinct, if he does that again, you’re going to be hearing about Kansas a lot later in the season than you’re used to.

Offensively they have to replace their tackles (Collins and Rodriguez), their TE (Fine), a WR (Henry) and a RB (McAnderson). The latter two are very replaceable. I have my doubts for the others, but I’m under the impression that while the newbies may not be quite as good as their predecessors we shouldn’t expect a huge plummet either. They’re set at the skill positions and if the tackles come along as they’re supposed to, there is no reason this offense shouldn’t be every bit as good as the one we saw last year. The stats may not be same, but the offense should be.

Defense

On this side of the ball they return 20 of 22 from their two-deep. Unfortunately, the two they lost were All Americans in CB Aqib Talib (1st) and DT James McClinton (2nd). Their replacements fall into the worry category as both were perennial starters and we haven’t known a defense without them for quite some time. But when you bring back nearly every starter and all of their backups from a defense that finished 12th nationally you’re not too worried about that side of the ball.

Throw in the fact that their “best in the Big XII” linebacking unit is led by Crazy Joe Davola (or Mortensen) and I really start to get giddy about watching this defense. Mortensen and Mike Rivera are known to prepare for games by slapping the shit out of each other repeatedly. And Mortensen wants to kill you. Like, seriously. As soon as he’s done with football he wants to join the Marines. To kill people. This is exactly what I’m looking for in a linebacker. And that’s why I’m expecting big things from the Kansas defense.

Special Teams

As optimistic as it sounds, my biggest worry with this team is its place kicker. Despite being a four year starter Scott Webb was never exactly Adam Vinatieri, but aside from that one game at Arrowhead (blurg) last year he was pretty dependable. As of yesterday it was a three man race, though none of them were considered very capable. As of today, that race could be down to one as presumed incumbent Stephen Hoge has left the team to pursue medical school and the slightly more capable Jacob Branstetter was informed that he may be academically ineligible. Not to pile on the guy when he’s down, but how in the shit can someone not qualify to play athletics for a state school?! That leaves Butler County Community College transfer Grady Fowler as the lone ranger. The extent of what I know about him is this: he was an honorable mention All American kicking for the 2007 JUCO national champion and he made 53/55 PATs and 8/12 FGs. Does Kathy Ireland still have any eligibility? She owes us…

Predictions

Since I've already made a short story long, let's just say that the fact that Kansas is even being analyzed means there is no way for this season to disappoint, despite the schedule strength increasingly greatly.

Almost Sure Wins (6): FIU, Louisiana Tech, Sam Houston St., @ Iowa State, Colorado, KSU
Almost Sure Losses (1): @ Oklahoma
Almost Sure Toss-ups (5): @ South Florida, Texas Tech, @ Nebraska, Texas, Methzouri (@ Arrowhead)

It's pretty easy to write off last year's success as a product of the schedule. And I’ll be the first to admit that it wasn’t all that tough. But lest we forget that with the exact same schedule the prior year they went 6-6 and were not invited to a bowl game. So obviously the team got better. And there were only two real changes, the offensive coordinator and the quarterback. Would they have gone 12-1 with this year's schedule? Unlikely. Will they do it this year? Almost assuredly not. In fact, I've gone on record as predicting 10-3 + a bowl game. And since I'm never right, I'll all but guarantee you that doesn't happen either. But shit, I know you wouldn’t have believed me if I’d try to predict a 12-1 season last year. And though you might not believe this one either, the fact that you’re even entertaining the thought is enough progress to keep me fat and giggly for the time being. Anything beyond that is just gravy.

Do I even need to say it?

Ditto for 'Our Coach Beat Anorexia.' Kansas football players are so sensitive. They wouldn't last a day in the Iowa Athletic Department. Mark Mangino is svelte in their loving eyes.

"I guess everyone has a different sense of humor," said KU linebacker Mike Rivera..."Some things are funny to some people. But sometime you have to think about what other people feel."

Everyone knows making fun of fat people is one of the last things available to make fun of people for without being considered offensive. And now Kansas' football players want to take that joy away from us? Shame on you, Kansas football players, shame on you.

KU players stand by their coach [Kansas City Star]

What excited us most about the win? We think it would have to be that fake punt. Any time a team pulls off one of the following plays and wins, they deserve extra credit:

• Flea flicker.
• Statue of Liberty play.
• Hidden ball trick.
• Fake punt.
• Fake field goal. (Double points for this one, actually.)

This has been such a bizarre year. Kansas and Missouri blitz through their bowl games, and Oklahoma gets hammered by an then-interim coach. Next thing you're gonna tell us is that Illinois played in the Rose Bowl.

B-C-Yes Indeed [Lawrence Journal World]

The paper had to post a correction last night, but the damage was done. (The cached version of the story is at the end of the post.) How did all go down? A poster on a KU Fan board explains:

So here is how this deal went down....This was a very professional hoax.

Apparently, Wood gets a call around dinner from somebody that there are rumors surrounding Mangino to West Virginia and he is given the number to Neil Cornrich who is indeed Mark Mangino's agent.

Ryan calls that number and gets a very professional voicemail saying that this is the office of Neil Cornrich. Wood leaves a message.

Moments later a man calls wood claiming to be Cornrich and says he is releasing the news of Mangino and his contract negotiations with West Virginia .

Ryan posts the quotes and the story and waits call backs from the Sports Information Dept and other sources.

Eventually they call and tell Ryan he has been tricked. Wood changes he story on the website.

We feel bad for Wood, whose only real mistake was not checking Phone Cornich's number against the real one, though in a story as explosive as this one, it's a big one. But come on, random Internet people: Be nice to the beat reporters. Their lives are hard enough.

Mangino To West Virginia Rumors A Hoax [Lawrence Journal World]

The biggest trouble with this one? Whether to go with Vick, Mexico or Ookie.

No. 1 Seed Ron Mexico
Suffered some weed-stashing problems.
Appears to have electrocuted puppies.
Fessed up.
Mercifully suspended by the NFL.
Checked into prison.

No. 16 Seed Mark Mangino
Fat.

So, make your picks. The final first-round matchup is Thursday.

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Our main hope is that whoever wins tomorrow night goes on to defeat Oklahoma (probably) in the Big 12 championship game; no offense to West Virginia, but it would be awfully entertaining to see either Kansas or Missouri in the national championship of football. New blood is always fun, and there's not much newer blood than these two teams.

The only key is that you watch the game in HD; otherwise, you're never gonna get a complete shot of Mangino, who's about to make his debut on a national, primetime, network television stage. If you're still hanging out with your family Saturday night, Mangino's going to be the talk of your dinner table. And then he will come through your television and eat it.

Anyway, Kansas is still undefeated and could legitimately be in the BCS title game. Our minds are blown, and we desperately want to see this happen. In honor of our favorite non-water-skiing head coach, after the jump, our favorite photos of our man Mangino. You know, for all the ladies out there.