Like many of you, I lied about sleeping with Sussman's sister so that I could live blog a game for Deadspin. Keep in mind that I am a Marquette Senior and will probably cover this game as Leitch covered the Cards and AJ covers the Phils. Don't like that...I'm sorry. Let's get to it.

Marquette is in a free-fall heading into this game. The Golden Eagles have lost 5 of the last six games to close out the season after starting the season 9-0 in the Big East. The Golden Eagles collapse at the end of the season can be contributed to Senior PG, Dominic James, breaking his foot two minutes into the U-Conn game on February 25th. This ended his season as well as his Marquette career. Filling in for James will be 5' 8'' (give or take about 5 inches) Maurice Acker, who hasn't displayed the court awareness or game changing ability of James. However, James' injury has also had a profound effect on Senior (and All-Time leading scorer at Marquette) Jerel McNeal. McNeal hasn't been able to get open without James, and hasn't shot well since James' injury.

On the other side, the Utah State Aggies are looking to become one of the first teams to bust up a bracket this year. While Utah State is ranked as an 11th seed in the Tournament, they rank 25th in the nation (Marquette ranked 24) so this promises to be a close game. Utah State is led by Senior Gary Wilkinson who averages 17.1 PPG, shoots 58.6 from the field, and was born in 1982. Seriously, how do the Mormons do it? Anyway, Utah State won 30 games this year in the WAC and are led by a very grizzled veteran. The biggest question about this game: Will the Utah State mascot be allowed back on the sidelines? The answer, Hell Yes! After brawling with New Mexico's Pistol Pete, Big Blue was suspended for one game. Don't worry though, he will be patrolling the sidelines today.

Alright, that does it for now. Crack open a bottle of alcoh...or...soda and get ready to watch the game.

Pregame banter: Whenever CBS wants to throw me over to the Marquette game, we can actually start this.

Thanks, Mr. Gumbel. Let's get this thing started. I think now is as good a time as ever to mention that the Gumbels went to my high school. The more you know!

Is that a Tom Crean mention already? Mark it down on the Bingo card for those of you playing at home.

1st Half 19:17: Dominic James on the sideline. Do you already have a Bingo?

18:24 - Does anyone want to score? Hayward answers. 2-0 MU.

16:54 - Marquette's Dwight Burke has managed to draw an Offensive foul, allow an easy basket, and mishandle a ball already. We are only a few minutes in...

16:17 Hayward hits a three. Marquette leads 7-4. Hayward has all 7 MU points so far.

Commercial Break Now is a good time to mention that Marquette decided it would be a good idea to shave their heads for the game. Personally, I'm a fan of the playoff beard...to each their own.

15:42 Foul shots by Wilkinson and now I'm confused. High school dropout, 26, Mormon? What's happening here? How can he play? He hits one free throw 7-5 Marquette leads.

14:20 Finally, someone besides Hayward scores for Marquette. Jerel McNeal hits a 3. 13-7 MU.

14:18 Dwayne Wade reference. Mark it down!

13:02 So, Marquette decides to take out the guy with 10 points already. What's the strategy there?

12:11 Sounds like a pretty nice Aggies crowd showed up in Boise. Will they have the home team advantage?

Commercial Break As we head to the commercial, Marquette is out-rebounding Utah State 10-2. When the tallest player that sees the court is 6-8 and your team out-rebounds like that, good things tend to happen.

11:27 It's still early, but Wilkinson has been pretty quiet thus far. He must be worried about collecting his social security.

10:57 Ah yes, the old reach-around foul!

10:30 Wilkinson is alive. 13-9 MU.

9:36 Matthews answers Wilkinson and puts MU up 15-9.

9:03 Two free throws for McNeal 17-9 MU. Did they just thank D-Wade for bringing the Gold Medal to the US last Summer? I'm all for being Patriotic, but that was last year.

8:30 Overheard during the game: Marquette is playing Tenacious D. Where is the screen shot of Jack Black?

7:22 Let's take a TV timeout. Matthews hit a jumper to make it a 10 point lead for Marquette just before the commercial. Not a lot of offense from Utah State thus far. They are 0-5 from the 3 point line. Apparently, Marquette decided to play defense today. The early results are promising.

Commercial Break No comments on the game. Just proving that no one cares about anything from Utah or Wisconsin.

5:39 Utah State over-shoots there. They haven't been able to score in a while. Marquette leads 21-9.

5:15 Wilkinson answers with a jumper. Utah State is 2 for their last 11. 23-11 MU.

Commercial Break We are under 5 minutes in the 1st half. Marquette leads by 10. 23-13. Is it possible that half-time will be more exciting than the first half? Stay tuned.

Commercial Break I'm not sure how I feel about the Sonic commercials. Are they funny or are they just stupid? I open it up to the commenters.

4:05 Apparently, Hayward is making things difficult for Wilkinson because Hayward is capable of running around the court and Wilkinson can't move so fast without his walker.

Commercial Break Why am I watching a creepy Field of Dreams-esque NCAA commercial. So if a swimmer leaves a pool, they become a Doctor? Somehow, I find this notion less satisfying than Field of Dreams. I do appreciate the lack of Kevin Costner in the commercial though.

3:17 Marquette 4-4 from the line...way to jinx it. Marquette leads 26-13.

2:27 Aggies hit their first three in the game. David (Da-veed) Cubillan limps off the court. Interesting strategy by Buzz Williams...lets see if we can win without a PG.

2:00 A quick note about the 2 hour wait at the Milwaukee Sonic. If it's greasy or fried, and has cheese, Wisconsinites will come in flocks.

1:06 McNeal looks lost out there. Marquette is struggling towards the end of the half. 26-18 MU.

1:00 Wilkinson gets denied!

Halftime After the big fella misses a three, the game is in Halftime. Marquette still leads 26-18.

Question for the commenters: Where does Buzz Williams rank as far as famous people named Buzz? Let's run down the list.
Buzz Williams: Claim to fame- Guided Marquette to a 9-0 start in the Big East. Led them to the NCAA Tourney.
Buzz Aldrin: Claim to fame - Piloted Apollo 11.
Buzz Lightyear: Claim to fame - Went to infinity and beyond.
Buzz (The Honey Nut Cheerios Mascot): Claim to fame - Not having a retarded catchphrase like "Follow your nose" or "Tricks are for kids" or "Catch my Lucky Charms."
The choices are yours and yours alone.

Halftime Now would also be a good time to mention that my last name is Polish, not Swedish and is pronounced Swick. Kinda like stick, rhymes with dick...I know how much we all love our dick jokes around here.

Halftime Let's take a look at the stats. For MU, McNeal is 1-6 on FGs made and Matthews is 2-8. For USU, Jared Quayle is 4-7 and has 9 points. The big fella only has 5.

Halftime Son of a bitch...surprise Buzz entry. Buzz Bissinger: Claim to fame - Raped Leitch on live TV

Halftime For all of you Utah State fans, how about famous mormons?
Wilford Brimley: Claim to fame - Has diabetes. Sweet mustache.
Jon Heder: Claim to fame - Actually unsure on this one...was Napoleon Dynamite...
Ken Jennings: Claim to fame - Kicked ass on Jeopardy
Jacody Ellsbury: Claim to fame - Plays for the Bo-Sox. Hated by all Yankee fans.
This list is far from exhaustive...feel free to add your own submissions

Halftime How bout that Bolerjack?

2nd Half 18:54 "You can't match 3s with 2s." A simple math lesson for those of us who can't count. Thank you Mr. Wenzel.

17:32 Wow! Big dunk there by the Aggies. Marquette still leads but only by 4. 29-25. Where the hell does Jerel McNeal think he is right now?

16:32 Marquette really struggling at begin the second half. The Aggies fans are loud and on their feet. Aggies haven't held a lead today. Will that change? Aggies now down 1. Buzz Williams finally calls a timeout to stop the madness. 29-28 Marquette is slipping.

16:09 The Aggies have switched to a zone defense this half because they realized that only Hayward is capable to scoring today. He does it again and Marquette leads 31-28.

Commercial Break Alert Bill Simmons, THIS IS OUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRR COUNTRY!

15:15 The Aggies finally miss their first shot of the 2nd half. They also go back to man to man defense...yeah, that worked so well in the 1st half. Marquette leads 33-28. Hayward has 16.

13:12 Aggies playing some great D on that possession. Time for Marquette to start worrying. Wesley hits his fourth shot of the 2nd half and will go to the free throw line to tie it up. He does just that 33-33.

12:35 McNeal hits a circus shot and gets fouled on the play. He drains the free throw. MU leads 36-33.

12:09 When did Tai Wesley become Tyler Hansbrough? Down goes Wesley Matthews. Marquette up 1, but everything is looking down for them right now.

11:22 Tai Wesley is human. He commits his third foul there and we go to a commercial break.

Commercial Break What is this KGB madness? I can text any question to them and they will answer it. As a lazy man, I'm not sure why I haven't heard of this sooner.

11:01 Matthews gets back into the game for Marquette...and promptly gets his shot blocked.

10:12 Utah State is really making this a competitive game, but can't seem to get a lead. Hayward hits another 3, he has 19 points. Marquette up 4.

9:34 Matthews drains both free throws. Marquette leads 41-35.

Commercial Break Quayle hits a 3 to put Utah State down by 3. Question, does anyone actually watch 2 and a Half Men?

8:51 Jerel McNeal is playing like the NBA players in Space Jam after they lost their ability. I know McNeal is a great player, but he cannot be trusted to dribble at this point.

Commercial Break I cannot stand those stupid Nextel direct connect conversations. I don't really want to hear your conversation, you are not that important.

6:33 McNeal can't make the contested layup. He is now 2-13 shooting today.

5:27 Quayle hits a 3. Utah State takes their first lead of the game. Then, they hit another three 49-43 Utah State. The wheels are falling off for Marquette.

3:42 Marquette gets fouled down by 4. This game could get interesting in the last remaining minutes.

Commercial Break Taco Bell Ads while the game is being played at Taco Bell Arena? It's just all tacos all the time this morning. On a related note, I'm now hungry.

3:42 Matthews hits one free throw. 49-46 Utah State.

3:05 Matthews at the line again. Drains both. Marquette down 1. 49-48 Utah State. Who gets the game deciding shot for either team if it comes to that?

2:36 Down goes Wilkinson, I think the arena just shook. Hayward takes an off-balance shot and gets fouled. Marquette has a chance to take the lead again.

2:05 Marquette takes the 1 point lead. Wilkinson gets fouled. This one is going back and fourth. Jimmy Butler just fouled out for Marquette.

1:47 Wesley tells Hayward to get that shit out of here. Marquette ball, down 1.

1:37 Quayle fouls out. What the hell is happening here?

1:20 Marquette up 1, 52-51. CBS wants to show me Tennessee, I want CBS to fuck-off.

34.1 MU up by 3. Tai Wesley fouls out.

34 seconds remain Acker makes both free throws. Utah State needs to get desperate. Huge back off the glass for Utah State. 56-54 Marquette. This one is going down to the wire.

23 seconds remain A Marquette score here could put things out of reach.

18 seconds remain McNeal gets Pooh-ed on and will go to the line.

5.1 seconds Wilkinson tries for a three. Can't get it. Marquette gets fouled again. Hayward at the line up 3.

Final The last second three is not enough for Utah State. Marquette eeks this one out 58-57.
Next up, they face Missouri. Thanks for sticking around with me while blogging the game. It was a good time. Now go get drunk.

2) No Longer on Jay Bilas' Speed Dial Marquette rushed to hire assistant Brent "Buzz" Williams after national media darling Tom Crean left a talented group of seniors to coach a student manager, Timmy Lupus and Ollie at Indiana. A Texan through and through, Buzz guzzles gallons of sweet tea in between dips. He is brutally, sometimes uncomfortably, honest with the media, even revealing that Lazar Hayward is two inches shorter than listed. His penchant for not calling timeouts, ever, has driven MU fans crazy. The future looks bright after reeling in a Top 20 class for 2009-2010. Look for Buzz to try some junk defenses to throw off the opposition. A 1-3-1 was effective against plodding Wisconsin and a small lineup with 6'5" Wesley Matthews playing the five helped defeat Providence and Notre Dame.

3) It Was Like the Heidi Game...Without the Pigtails Marquette-Villanova, Big East Tournament quarterfinals. MU fights back from a 16 point deficit and is up one, inbounding the ball with 40 seconds left. As soon as the ball is inbounded, the Milwaukee Time Warner cable czars switch over to the monthly, ear piercing Emergency Broadcast Signal. After an interminable wait, Time Warner switches back to the game just in time for Marquette fans to absorb the sight of the Villanova players splayed all over the floor celebrating their improbable victory. Thanks Time Warner—hello DirecTV! — Husker4MU (Quevedo at the Buffet)

UTAH STATE AGGIES

1) Losing is for Losers Utah State comes into the Big Dance with more wins than any other contender. They started the season on a 24-1 run, losing only to fellow Mormon-staters Brigham Young. Their current 30-4 mark was amassed relatively close to home—the Aggies haven't traveled to the eastern side of the continental divide all season long. Since their West region path goes through Boise and Glendale, they won't cross the mountains
unless they make the Final Four in Detroit.

2) When We Say Senior, We Mean Senior Utah State's emotional leader and best player is Gary Wilkinson, a 27-year-old married dude. The red-haired, 6'9" forward spent two years on a Mormon mission in Canada before resuming his education at Salt Lake Community College. His play in the bus leagues caught the attention of USU coach Stew Morrill, who is no doubt familiar with the standard Mormon path to basketball success. He is the team's only senior.

3) It's Like the Onion, but About Basketball USU students print a satirical sports publication called The Refraction. The most recent edition commemorates opposing players who were most rattled by the hellacious noise in the Spectrum on game days. They also do a Top 8 list, and lead one article with the headline "Refraction Staff Still Not Getting Any." And you thought nobody funny came from Utah. — Eric Angevine (Storming The Floor)

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Marquette's schedule is seriously backloaded (last five games: @ Georgtown, UConn, @ Louisville, @ Pitt, Syracuse), but the good news is that they have an opportunity to roll up an impressive record while the rest of the league slugs the crap out of each other. Only four Eagles combined for all 71 points, but Jerel McNeal had 27 of them last night and the Eagles pulled away late.

Notre Dame, meanwhile, has been effectively eliminated from the conference race and must scramble to simply try and rack up enough wins to make to the NCAA tournament. Luke HARANGODY! had 29 and 17, but didn't score in the final 3:30 as the Irish have followed a 45-game home winning streak with a two-game home losing streak (and four in a row overall.) They were ranked in the Top 10 at one point, but have simply been crushed by the toughest part of their schedule. Then again, they are Notre Dame. [Chicago Tribune]

Oklahoma 89, Oklahoma St 81: News flash: Blake Griffin is good. He had 19 rebounds—one more than all of the Cowboys combined—while Austin Johnson threw in five three-pointers and that was enough for the Sooners to hold off a late OSU rally.

Does anyone else get a Danny Manning/Carmelo Anthony vibe off this guy? Like, Griffin may or may not be the best player in the country, but he's exactly the kind of guy who can carry a team to six straight wins in March? Simply typing that sentence is probably a lifetime jinx, but a little pressure never bothered Sam Bradford, right? [Kansas City Star]

East Coast Bias has the same thought we do: Why is the Indiana job so attractive?

Indiana could lose all 5 of their regular starters from last year, as two seniors graduate, two starters were dismissed from the team this week, and Freshman Eric Gordon could bolt for the NBA. At this point, the Hoosiers program is clearly a rebuilding job, while Marquette seems to be on the cusp of something bigger.

By the way, we're pretty certain Kelvin Sampson is gonna pull a Todd Bozeman and coach, like, Stephen F. Austin in a couple years, bring them to the tournament, get promoted to a mid-major job, then to BCS school, and then this whole process will repeat itself.

Oh, and Crean has the greatest endorsement possible:

"He's got a brilliant basketball mind — definitely a good hire for Indiana — I was very vocal about Dan [Dakich] getting the job, but Tom is definitely qualified and will do an excellent job at Indiana," Knicks coach Isiah Thomas said before his game in Milwaukee on Tuesday. "Any way that I can help him, I definitely will."

What could possibly go wrong?

Is Indiana Really A Step Up From Marquette? [East Coast Bias]

#10 Davidson 82, #7 Gonzaga 76. Stephen Curry scored 40 on 8-11 three-point shooting in Raleigh, but it was the timely rebounding of Andrew Lovedale (13 boards to go with 12 points) that saved the Wildcats' bacon. Adam Morrison was in attendance, looking like the lead singer of a goth tribute band. No word yet on whether he cried. Oh, who are we kidding, of course he did. Davidson advances to face the Georgetown/UMBC winner.

#12 Western Kentucky 101, Drake 99 (OT). Western Kentucky had the ball in a tie game at the end of regulation, but Academic All-American Adam Emmenecker stepped in to draw a controversial charge that allowed the game to go to OT. Another questionable call in the extra frame didn't change the outcome, however, as the Hilltoppers' Ty Rogers hit the clutch three over two defenders to win the game. WKU will face the UConn/San Diego winner. Pretty freaking wild shot that everyone in America saw, except for the people who work and/or don't care about baskeball.

#2 Tennessee 72, #15 American 57. Let there be no doubt about this - American could have won this game. They showed no fear, and led several times in the game, but Tennessee put on a run in the second half and put them away behind a balanced scoring effort that featured three players in double figures (two Smiths and a Chism, if you're keeping score). Tennessee advances to face the Butler/South Alabama winner.

#7 Miami 78, #10 St. Mary's 64. Jack McClinton's 38 would be the story today, if Stephen Curry hadn't knocked down a couple of clutch free throws. St. Mary's led early in this one, but couldn't maintain in the second half, as the three-bid WCC is down to San Diego if they hope to advance to the second round. If Texas advances in the later game, Haith will be facing his former boss. Miami faces the Texas/Austin Peay winner.

#6 Marquette 74, #11 Kentucky 66.
The only exciting game of the second session, the Wildcats and Golden Eagles went punch-for-punch most of the game. About midway through the second half, however, Marquette started to take the lead for good behind clutch shots by shooting guard/cyborg Jerel McNeal. A Herculean effort from Joe Crawford kept Kentucky within striking distance, but Marquette managed to keep their opponent at arm's length until the final whistle. The Golden Eagles will face the winner of Stanford in the next round.

#6 Purdue 90, #11 Baylor 79
#4 Pitt 82, #13 Oral Roberts 63
#8 UNLV 71, #9 Kent State 58

Might as well pile these three games together; all of them were over by halftime. Purdue's victory was a textbook example of total team effort. Five players scored in double figures, and everyone who played any minutes scored at least eight points.

For Oral Roberts, today's lesson was from the Book of Job. After leading 3-0, and holding their own in the opening minutes, the Panthers went on a huge run and never looked back, nearly doubling up on their opponent at the half. Lavance Fields led the way with 23 points, and Pitt moves on to face Michigan State.

Kent State's first half can best be described as record-breaking offensive futility. Their 10 points were the fewest for a half in the NCAA Tournament since the shot clock era began. UNLV blew them away, and Lon Kruger's giant killers will now face Kansas in the second round.

And it looks like the Stanford game is also over by halftime. Take a breather, and enjoy the night games.

STANFORD CARDINAL

1. The Happiest Place On Earth. While other programs struggle with illegal shenanigans and recruiting scandals, the Cardinal are definitely rated G. Twins Brook and Robin Lopez are obsessed with everything related to Walt Disney, including knowing the answers to trivia questions such as: Where did Walt Disney live out the last 11 years of his life? (in an apartment above the fire house in Disneyland). The twins also love drawing and writing comic books, having been introduced to them as children when their AAU coach would give them a comic book each time one of them blocked a shot. Robin Lopez is named for Christopher Robin, the young boy from the Winnie the Pooh books. They also have a brother named Christopher. And their favorite singer is Michael Jackson, so much so that they play his song Speed Demon before every game.

2. Their Coaching Staff Can Beat Up Your Coaching Staff. If an on-court melee erupts, bet on the Cardinal. They have a young coaching staff led by head coach Trent Johnson, but when you throw in athletic trainer Tomoo Yamada, its all over. Born in Tokyo, Japan, Yamada is a martial arts expert who specializes in Jui Jitsu, and has trained on the famed Shamrock Fighting Team.

3. Sloshball Fever: Catch It. One of Stanford's greatest traditions is Sloshball; a kickball game that features a keg at second base. A full beer must be consumed before the runner may leave second base, and a beer must be held in a cup at all times. Disputed calls are settled by beer chugging contests known as boatraces. Sadly, another tradition, the Big Game bonfire on Lake Lagunita, was discontinued due to the presence of endangered salamanders. — Rick Chandler

CORNELL BIG RED

1. Cornell is so fucking nerdy. The actual Mission Statement for Cornell Athletics is: "We offer a diverse program of physical and outdoor education, recreational services, and intercollegiate athletic competition, equitably administered with special attention to the needs of women and members of under-represented minority groups." Ignoring the sexist and racist overtones of a Mission Statement that infers that chicks and minorities (always underrepresented in the Ivies! Hopefully!) need their own sports like basketball, ping pong, foxy boxing and such, it should read: "Cornell Athletics are here to help grow muscles beyond enormous ass cheeks and thigh muscles people build while hiking up and down the damn hills every day in the snow, like the training scene from Rocky IV, if he was wearing Uggs and lived in Montauk during the summer. We also help minorities survive inhospitable living conditions like constant clouds and rain, during the few weeks it's not snowing." Need more evidence? The lead article on cornellbigred.com "hyping" the second game against Dartmouth reads: "Heading into the 2007-08 season, Cornell was the preseason favorite among most college basketball publications and the media that covers the Ivy League's eight institutions. This weekend the Big Red will attempt to make all of those prognosticators clairvoyant by claiming a share of the Ancient Eight title." Out nerd THAT hype, Duke.

2. Cornell is so fucking arty. To illustrate, the logos of the Big Red:

The attitude best expressed by the old school Cornell Bear = "The fuck you looking at, bitch?"

The attitude best expressed by the new school Cornell bear = "BEAR TRAP! BIG, LETTER C SHAPED BEAR TRAP! SHIT!"

The attitude best expressed by the new school Cornell bear and full university name = "The motherfucking Cornell billboard just fell on me! OW! WHAT THE SHIT?"

3. Conversely, Cornell will continue to be fucking slow on the uptake. Let's follow the logic. Cornell has, relative to the competition, essentially the same competitive assets to offer a new recruit. Cold. Pasty white chicks. Hypercompetitive nerd classmates. Low-end frat boys. Maybe Harvard can claim to be in Boston, and Columbia can claim to be in NYC, but nobody there goes out either due to the courseload. Anyway, of all the "Ancient (read: Elite) Eight," Cornell is the ONLY one with a State School. Three of them actually. Yes, it's true, there is an Ivy League university that includes three state schools, meaning ANYONE IN NEW YORK can go to AN IVY LEAGUE SCHOOL for the same cost and difficulty AS SUNY GENESEO. It would seem obvious that the coaches of the teams might want to, um, use that as an aid to get NEW YORK CITY BALLERS. Is there hope for this? Well, if you read the bio of Jeff "More than 6" Foote (one of only three 84+ inch tall players in the league), you would notice that he is from New York (the Deep North part, unfortunately) and that he goes to the Ag school. RELATIVE SUCCESS! But no! Despite living within a gunshot of Ithaca, he originally went to St. Bonaventure (I assume this is a college) and only because the Cornell coach chatted up his nurse mom while she was on the job did he get recruited. Someday this will have to be figured out, if Jim Boeheim can keep his players in Cadillacs without NCAA sanctions, surely someone can figure out how to recruit at Cornell and win the short, slow, eight-team league more often than once every goddamn 20 years. — Silky John-STON!

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MARQUETTE GOLDEN EAGLES

1. Stephon Marbury Is Displeased with Your Guru. Larry Brown's first piece of advice to Tom Crean: get three versatile guards to run a team. Dominic James (13.6 ppg, 4.3 assists/game), Jerel McNeal (13.5 ppg, 2.3 steals/game), and Wesley Matthews (11.2 ppg, 4.2 rebounds/game) can lead the team in scoring on a given night. All were four-star recruits in 2005, Crean's strongest recruiting class during his coaching tenure. Larry Brown's second piece of advice to Crean: never stay at a job longer than 2 years. Last year, Marquette signed Crean to an extension through 2017. Oops.

2. Jesus Had a Twin Who Knew Nothing About Sin. I implore you to analyze a Marquette game four minutes at a time. After one TV timeout, evaluate the data and make your necessary conclusions. After the second TV timeout, you realize that the first conclusions no longer make sense. Marquette is the college version of the Golden State Warriors. They want to run the court to achieve easy layups and wide-open three pointers. When this does not occur, Marquette must run a half court offense, which alternates between Daydream Nation and NYC Ghosts & Flowers.

3. It's Revolutionary to Maginot. Jay Bilas pulls out a set of facts for every Big East team on Monday night. Tom Crean's fact: He has over 1,000 offensive plays. Jay, what are you watching? I've seen some cute out of bounds plays that result in an easy lay-up for the Golden Eagles after a TV timeout, but 1,000? How many variations of on-ball screen, pass, on-ball screen, pass, on-ball screen, contested jump shot are there? — James Virtel

KENTUCKY WILDCATS

1. Billy G Is Not My Lover. Many fans wanted Tubby Smith out for a long, long time in the Commonwealth, so with that exodus they got Billy Gillispie. The Wildcats had a 6-7 record following a loss to now-hated Rick Pitino, and everyone thought that ol' Billy Boy might not be the guy after all. Panic ensued, then Gillispie really proved to be the grinder (crouch down low, coach, show us how much you care!) and has been named the SEC coach of the year. So, just to recap: Billy Gillispie became a much better coach in 2008, which bodes well for the 'Cats.

2. Ashley Judd Loves the Streaking. With their resurgence, Kentucky continues their impressive streak of tournaments made, making it 17 straight this year. (That accomplishment is only bested by fellow '07-08 underachieving squad Arizona, who has danced 24 straight years, and Kansas.) Even more impressive? The Wildcats have never lost in the first round during that span.

3. Kentucky Doesn't Have the Horses. The 'Cats have been crippled the entire year with injuries and have only been able to consistently play seven players at any segment of the season. They recently lost their best player, freshman standout Patrick Patterson. Patterson was an undeniable, extremely impressive force inside, but he's gone with a broken foot. This is a squad that very much relies on their perimeter shooting to a fault, so without Patterson to lasso in those rebounds, they will need to look to the crafty play of senior Brooklyn-bred point guard Ramel Bradley and the indispensable Derrick Jasper. But, as any true Wildcat fan knows, this team's barometer is the play of Joe Crawford, who value is as incalculable as any player in the nation. — College Hoops Journal

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2. Jesus Had a Twin Who Knew Nothing About Sin. I implore you to analyze a Marquette game four minutes at a time. After one TV timeout, evaluate the data and make your necessary conclusions. After the second TV timeout, you realize that the first conclusions no longer make sense. Marquette is the college version of the Golden State Warriors. They want to run the court to achieve easy layups and wide-open three pointers. When this does not occur, Marquette must run a half court offense, which alternates between Daydream Nation and NYC Ghosts & Flowers.

3. It's Revolutionary to Maginot. Jay Bilas pulls out a set of facts for every Big East team on Monday night. Tom Crean's fact: He has over 1,000 offensive plays. Jay, what are you watching? I've seen some cute out of bounds plays that result in an easy lay-up for the Golden Eagles after a TV timeout, but 1,000? How many variations of on-ball screen, pass, on-ball screen, pass, on-ball screen, contested jump shot are there? — James Virtel

MARQUETTE GOLDEN EAGLES

1. Commies and Question Marks Everywhere. Not only did little Joey McCarthy get his law degree at Marquette, the great Matthew Lesko attended Marquette undergrad. The question is, did he find a government grant to cover his bong water recycling program?

2. HarBoughs of Holly. Coach Tom Crean is married to the former Joani Harbaugh, sister of Jim. For the last few years, Tom's father-in-law Jack has served as associate athletic director of the Golden Eagles. Harbaugh the elder has had great success as a football coach, yet Marquette has no football team. Dots. Connected.

3. Slump Buster Needed. Last year, Marquette was led by senior Steve Novak and freshman point guard Dominic James. With Novak now getting tushy slivers in the NBA, most thought the Big East Rookie of the Year James would take over the team. Instead, he has found the depths of a sophomore slump. Fellow sophomore guards Jerel McNeal and Wesley Matthews have stepped up and begun to shine, as has power forward Ousmane Barro. With the impending pressure of the NCAA tourney, however, James must shake off this slump or the Eagles will be extinct. — Brian Saperstein

MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS

1. Drew Me Baby One More Time. Use both hands, please If you can overlook the disturbing visual similarities between Drew Neitzel and Britney Spears (she just wanted to look like him). There's a lot to appreciate about the Spartans leader. When he was 12, Drew won the national 2-ball championshipm where his ambidexterity was used to its full advantage. So while you're accustomed to him flaring off a screen and fading away at a 45 degree angle with his left, he's equally capable at pulling up in the lane with his right. Should Neitzel's gritty David Eckstein/Scotty Skiles-like underdoggedness not do it for you, I think we can all admire someone who's talented with both hands.

2. Not your mother's turnover. Neitzel may be adept with both hands, but the Spartans' ball control as a whole leaves a lot to be desired. Michigan State hands the ball over to opponents at such a staggering rate, even Rex Grossman is impressed. The Spartans commit a turnover on 24 percent of their possessions (24!!!), which ranks 306th in the country ... right in between powerhouse programs Alabama A&M and McNeese St. To make the aforementioned stat even more puzzling, consider that Izzo's crew ranks fourth in assist/per FG. It's all good or all bad. The best FG percentage defense (43.5) in the Izzo era is the reason you're even being subjected to the blabber.

3. I-Dunk, I-Block. In the pantheon of greatest player nicknames in history, the moniker attached to Spartans reserve sophomore center Idong Ibok is merely a blip on the radar at this point. But keep your eye out: A 7-foot 5-inch wingspan causes havoc on defense and makes the most of its 11 minutes per game. Ibok will finish as the Spartans all-time leader in blocked shots and will play a vital role in any potential Sweet 16 run. — Jason Kent

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2. HarBoughs of Holly. Coach Tom Crean is married to the former Joani Harbaugh, sister of Jim. For the last few years, Tom's father-in-law Jack has served as associate athletic director of the Golden Eagles. Harbaugh the elder has had great success as a football coach, yet Marquette has no football team. Dots. Connected.

3. Slump Buster Needed. Last year, Marquette was led by senior Steve Novak and freshman point guard Dominic James. With Novak now getting tushy slivers in the NBA, most thought the Big East Rookie of the Year James would take over the team. Instead, he has found the depths of a sophomore slump. Fellow sophomore guards Jerel McNeal and Wesley Matthews have stepped up and begun to shine, as has power forward Ousmane Barro. With the impending pressure of the NCAA tourney, however, James must shake off this slump or the Eagles will be extinct. — Brian Saperstein

MARQUETTE

1. The New Nickname Is Golden Eagles, Still. Marquette decided that they would change the athletics nickname this summer, corresponding to their move to the Big East. It was announced that Marquette would be known as the Gold. That s it: Gold. Trying to join the elite group of schools with colors as their nickname - Stanford (still can t find Cardinal in my 64 pack of crayolas) and, uh, the University of Chicago (Maroons) — didn't work. So they changed the name back to the same thing it had been, Golden Eagles. Way to go. (True longtime fans still go with Warriors.)

2. Freshmen Will Be Freshmen. MU is depending heavily on three freshmen to lead the team, plus a sophomore from Senegal who just now realized he is allowed to use his hands. The last-minute losses to Louisville, Pitt and Nova are symptomatic of a young team trying to find its consistency. A case of the nerves down the stretch of a tight game can be expected, the same as one can expect the Big Dance to provide tight games which come down to the wire ... This could be trouble.

3. Crean Is Finally Earning His Kwan. The coach of the Warriors, Tom Crean, is finally living up to the hype and attention paid to him a couple summers ago. Coaching up a squad lead by a 6 10 3-point shooting senior and a collection of talented freshmen should be Line 1 on Crean s resume, even over his Final Four appearance a few years ago. In reality, Dwyane Wade shouldn t be tithing 10 percent of his salary to his church; it should be Tom Crean tithing 90 percent of his massive post-Wade contract to Dwyane. Crean has done a great job with the young team, even instituting some trick plays like pressing early in the first half and even switching up defenses in reaction to an opponents strengths. But Crean will be Crean watch for wholesale substitutions of at least 3 players which completely kills the mojo. — Brian Saperstein

ALABAMA

1. Their Name Is Mud. Alabama eschews "normal" team names and mascots and instead goes with the "Crimson Tide" and an elephant. In 1907, Alabama played Auburn in Birmingham in what was the last football game between the two rivals until 1948. Auburn was heavily favored, but Alabama played a great game on a field that was essentially a sea of mud, and a local sportswriter coined the phrase "Crimson Tide" in his description of the Alabama players' uniforms. The elephant mascot got its origins in 1930, when Alabama played a home game against Ole Miss. For some reason, the second team started the game, and after a close first quarter, the first team came running onto the field. A local sportswriter wrote that a fan in the stands yelled "the elephants are coming!" The first team then proceeded to kick the crap out of Ole Miss. Regardless of whether the fan's exclamation is true or not, how funny is it that 'Bama started their second team against Ole Miss, toyed around with them and then trotted out the first team to blow them off the field?

2. Even Their Radio Guys Are Badasses. The producer emeritus and founder of the Alabama Sports Radio Network, Bert Bank, survived the Bataan Death March and 33 months as a prisoner of war in World War II. He is one bad dude, and his presence serves to illustrate that Alabama's radio network is way tougher than your radio network. So there.

3. P.J. Carlesimo? Not A Fan. Famous alumni that you may not know about (or realize) include: Latrell Sprewell (thanks for the great reflection on our alma mater, buddy), ESPN regular Rece Davis (how this guy keeps his composure on College Gameday Final after Alabama losses is beyond me) and longtime Yankees sportscaster Mel Allen (How about that?). — William Hocutt

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