Sports Illustrated Goes Long On The Quarterback Who Couldn't

A 15,000-word piece about Tim Tebow is such a self-evidently bad idea that you would assume, not having read it, that this Sports Illustrated #longform offers something special to justify its claims on the time and attention of readers: fresh reporting, uniquely elegant writing, original ideas. » 11/26/13 2:12pm 11/26/13 2:12pm

How To Jerk Off In A War Zone: Servicemembers Weigh In

Last week, we published a military doctor's very useful field guide to masturbating while on active duty. Unsurprisingly, it elicited plenty of comment on the topic from experienced servicepeople, some of which we have collected for your enjoyment. Got anything to add? Leave a comment in the discussion below. » 2/19/13 7:30pm 2/19/13 7:30pm

The Coming War: A Military Doctor's Field Guide To Masturbating In…

The past decade of combat operations in Iraq and Afghanistan has given military physicians such as myself the important opportunity to gather unprecedented data on some of our most pressing medical issues. This data set has spurred advances in the care of trauma, hemorrhagic shock, traumatic brain injury, and other… » 2/14/13 6:20pm 2/14/13 6:20pm

Who Is The Most Masturbated-To Woman In History?

I just recently got a Christmas card from Drew and his family and I have to say: Is there any bigger fucking waste of time, energy, and paper than a Christmas card? I understand why people used to do it before Facebook existed, but currently, if someone has a baby, not a day goes by that a photo of that thing isn't… » 12/25/12 2:30pm 12/25/12 2:30pm

Sleeping Female Croatian Volleyball Player Robbed By Masturbating Man

The Croatian women's national volleyball team was recently in the town of Rovinj for a European championship qualifier. Mateja Rajkovic, one of the players, says a man broke into her bungalow and robbed her while she slept. The man made off with 50 euros, but according to Rajkovic, he also made off with himself: » 9/19/12 1:55pm 9/19/12 1:55pm

Yeah, I Have A Hard Time Keeping My Eyes Open Too Ashley

Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. » 10/27/08 12:30pm 10/27/08 12:30pm Liverpool fans must still be over today. A 1-0 win over Chelsea, giving their 86 game home winning streak the, well, 86, and moving . And I'm not not going to pee on the Reds' parade. I should if only because that's one of about three skills I have. That and…