masturbation Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Yes, that was a dildo on the field in Buffalo… again
The question is not really so much who brings a dildo to a football game. People bring things to places. Maybe it’s a good-luck dildo. That’s really your own business, although it could be the business of Buffalo’s stadium, whose rules prohibit many items from the premises, among them:...
Amateur MMA Fighter Beats Up Man Jerking Off In Front Of Her During Beach Photoshoot
Brazilian mixed martial artist Joyce Vieira was posing for a swimsuit photoshoot on a Rio de Janeiro beach earlier this month when she noticed a nearby man staring at her with his penis out, masturbating. Vieira first tried using her words to get the creep to cut it out, but when diplomacy failed, s...
![Man Caught Jerking Off In The Stands During Bundesliga Match [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/qtse1zbtvamzot6witft.jpg)
Man Caught Jerking Off In The Stands During Bundesliga Match [NSFW]
Schalke hosted Hertha Berlin in a Bundesliga match this past Saturday. The match featured one goal, one yellow card, and one Hertha fan calmly stroking his dick in front of god and everyone in the middle of the stands:...
When You Jerk It Out
The things that sneak through at the end of 56-3 football games:...
Howard Eskin Is Very Upset That New Phillies Manager Gabe Kapler Masturbates
The Phillies held a press conference today to introduce Gabe Kapler as the team’s new manager. It was Kapler’s first time speaking to the assembled Philadelphia media, and he got a good introduction into a major part of his new job....
![Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/waupuq1osdxqsmrj1aif.jpg)
Brazilian Soccer Club Rocked By Locker-Room Double Handjob Video Scandal [NSFW]
Sport Clube Gaucho are a Brazilian third-division side who haven’t been relevant since they briefly made the first division in the 1980s. That changed, though, when four players had their contracts rescinded after a video showing one of them jerking off two of his teammates in the club showers leake...
Ahh... You Touch My Tra-La-La
John Calipari was clearly feelin’ it during the Wildcats’ big 82-77 win over Georgia today....
There’s A Lot To Love About This Guy’s Intense Masturbation Diary
So I was reading this Guardian piece on beatin’ it. (Or, depending on the genitals you possess, um...“opening your ham wallet?” Jesus, that’s a terrible euphemism.) It features statistics on the types of people who beat and don’t beat it, how and when they beat it (if they indeed beat it), how often...
It's Gotta Get Stiff From Jackin' It That Many Times
“Does he keep it lubricated, or...” Sixers color man Alaa Abdelnaby wants to know some very intimate details about Steph Curry....
The Six Best Teacher Gimmicks
Before we get to the Funbag, I gotta talk about how shitty this Will Smith concussion movie looks. I swear it got made strictly because Will Smith wanted to try out a new accent. It looks like 120 minutes of people warning Accent Will Smith about stuff....
Diego Maradona Shows Off Another Use For The Hand Of God
Technically, he's still using his hand to score, just in a bit of a different way....
Teens: Please Don't Masturbate In The Penalty Box
Maybe you saw this letter from a concerned hockey mom in this week's Dear Prudence advice column on Slate: ...
Don't Have Kids? Don't Go To The Pumpkin Patch.
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering the NFL, stoner poop stories, old-man voices, and more....
Helpful Advice From Gabe Kapler: Jerk Off With Coconut Oil
Former MLB outfielder and current Fox Sports 1 talking head Gabe Kapler is a man who possesses a lot of knowledge on how to live a healthy lifestyle, knowledge which he often dispenses on his personal blog, Kaplifestyle.com. A recent post about the many uses for coconut oil contains some of Kapler's...
Which Two States Combined Would Make The Best Power State?
Time for your letters:...