cultural oddsmaker
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think.
Everybody's got a no-no drink in their arsenal. Some people take a whiff of tequila and start gagging. Others can have one sip of gin and start fending off imaginary crocodiles with a bar stool. For me? It's scotch. Every time I've attempted to take part in "grown-up drinking," it's ended with me urinating in my pants. Literally. The three times in my life I've drank scotch, I've completely pissed myself. This is not while I'm sleeping, mind you. It's usually on the walk home from the bar. For whatever reason, scotch disrupts the brain-to-bladder communication mechanism, and I usually end up in a frantic sprint to either find a dark alley or get to the bathroom before I explode. Three times, I've lost and ended up taking a miserable walk home with a crotch area that resembled a Rorshach Test.
For Arizona Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart, "sauvignon blanc" appears to be his no-no drink. Hopefully, it took more than one glass for him to open up to Yahoo football writer Michael Silver and bitch about his split-time quarterback situation. But what does Matt Leinart's admission that he wants be front-seat driver really tell us? It's more telling that Mr. Leinart is obviously not that much of a drinker. If I were a beat-reporter covering the Cardinals, I'd make sure to sign Leinart up for a booze of the month club ASAP. And when that happens, he shall spill.
So this week, I'm putting on my drinking pants, bad-touching a sommelier in the desert and placing odds on the other drinks that'll make Arizona's crestfallen quarterback say stupid shit.
Let's go pound some sediment, after this more.
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