Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Atlanta Falcons

Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. » 8/08/14 12:03pm 8/08/14 12:03pm

Matt Ryan Just Got Paid

Just before the start of training camp, the Falcons locked up quarterback Matt Ryan for the foreseeable future. The precise details of his deal aren't yet known, but Ryan—he of the 1-4 career playoff record—will be the second-highest paid player in NFL history. » 7/26/13 9:15am 7/26/13 9:15am

The NFC Is Running Low On Pro Bowl Quarterbacks

Matt Ryan hurt his shoulder when he was pancaked to the turf by Ahmad Brooks with 1:55 remaining. It looked ugly, and Ryan got up slowly. It was his left, non-throwing shoulder, but his next two passes were incomplete. When Atlanta recovered the ball with time left for one play, Ryan's "hail mary" only traveled 20… » 1/21/13 3:30pm 1/21/13 3:30pm

This Jim Harbaugh Freakout Is Priceless, The Ray Lewis Freakout Is Just…

We're going to be putting our GIFs from the respective Conference Championship games right here. So if you're looking for Julio Jones's touchdown scoring, a security guard eliminating prowess, here's your spot, or weeping Ray Lewis, this here's the place. » 1/20/13 6:48pm 1/20/13 6:48pm

Megatron Breaks The Record And Lions Fans Aren't Sure How To Feel:…

Atlanta 31, Detroit 18: The above moment of celebratory uncertainty came before Calvin Johnson broke Jerry Rice's single-season receiving yards record—it came during a Falcons timeout while the Lions were down, in fact, which meant the confusion was sort of understandable—but it's appropriate considering the general… » 12/22/12 11:45pm 12/22/12 11:45pm

Greg Hardy Tells The Falcons To Get The Fuck Off His Field, Gets…

It was Week 4 when Matt Ryan told the Carolina Panthers to "get the fuck off of his field" at the conclusion of his team's dramatic victory over the lowly Panthers. Headed into this week's rematch, it became known that the Panthers were still agitated by Ryan's boasting, and were looking to get some revenge. » 12/10/12 3:35pm 12/10/12 3:35pm

Atlanta 27, Denver 21: The Game In Two GIFs

The officiating in this game was an absolute disaster. Just brutal. It was as if Drew's column earlier today sprouted legs and was playing out on our televisions. There was a point where it really looked like things were going to boil over and shit was going to get out of hand. Shit did not get entirely out of hand,… » 9/18/12 12:24am 9/18/12 12:24am

The Falcons Need Some New Fourth-Down Plays

The cat-and-mouse game of defensive scheming decided both playoff matches yesterday, but in different ways. In Denver, the Steelers stacked the box, daring Tim Tebow to throw. He did. But at the Meadowlands, on a pair of fourth down conversions, the Falcons telegraphed a pair of sneaks up the middle, daring the Giants… » 1/09/12 11:55am 1/09/12 11:55am

NFL Wildcard Weekend Open Thread: Atlanta Falcons At New York Giants

Day two of the best weekend ever kicks off from New Jersey with Joe Buck and Troy Aikman guiding us through all the things they're not so sure wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't or didn't happen. » 1/08/12 1:00pm 1/08/12 1:00pm

Eli Manning and Matt Ryan: Post-Turnover Face-Off

The quarterback matchup today isn't just about who can throw for more touchdowns, it's also about who can make the most ridiculous face after giving one away to the other team. While the Manning face is certainly more renowned, Matt Ryan is certainly no slouch. In anticipation of today's head-to-head battle, we've… » 1/08/12 12:30pm 1/08/12 12:30pm

ESPN's Monday Night Football Intro Featured Betty White Talking About…

ESPN's been slowing scraping the bottom of the barrel since jettisoning Hank Williams, Jr., and this holiday-themed Betty White intro was less funny than weird. What, the usual New Orleans staples of zydeco and Cafe Du Monde weren't available? » 12/26/11 9:01pm 12/26/11 9:01pm

Men Whose Job It Is To Hurt Quarterbacks Chided For Being Happy When…

I get that Lions-Falcons was the closest thing to a matchup of two winning teams yesterday, and that both are likely to be vying for the same limited wild card slots, so we should have expected a competitive game, bordering on the chippy. But what we got—Matt Ryan getting his ankle rolled up, and two Lions linesman… » 10/24/11 11:05am 10/24/11 11:05am

Matt Ryan's Either Got Skidmarks, Or It's A Heavy Flow Day

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. » 11/22/10 9:20am 11/22/10 9:20am

Queering In The Press Box

Michael Silver: "By midway through the third quarter ... I was ready to take the Atlanta Falcons quarterback up to Gavin Newsom's box on the west side of the stadium and ask the San Francisco mayor to marry us." [Yahoo!] » 10/12/09 5:00pm 10/12/09 5:00pm

Matt Ryan Is A Handsome Man, Science Proves

The screeching teenyboppers at the Wall Street Journal bring word that Matt Ryan is the most knee-meltingly dreamy quarterback in the NFL. It's true because science says so. And believe it or not, this actually sort of matters. » 9/01/09 1:00pm 9/01/09 1:00pm

Worst Columnist Predictions Of 2008 ... With Gratuitous Jay Mariotti

Sure it made for good copy when Terence Moore of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution wrote back in April that "The Falcons just blew it" by drafting Matt Ryan. Did he think that wouldn't come back on him? » 12/30/08 5:15pm 12/30/08 5:15pm

Matt Ryan Has Won Some of the Black Vote in Atlanta

Interesting story in the New York Times today about Falcons' quarterback Matt Ryan and how he's slowly winning over the large percentage of African-American Falcons' fans » 11/25/08 3:45pm 11/25/08 3:45pm, many of whom were decidedly pro-Mike Vick. The timing is excellent too, given that . But regardless of Ryan's success there are still an abundance…

A Kiper-McShay Draft Day Hair Trade

The Chiefs Drafted...Well?

We've been cautioned and chastened by many a pundit over the years that it takes years to properly assess the success of any given draft. That may be true, but with the Chiefs unloading Jared Allen to the Vikings for picks, it was important for them to make a splash. Everything seemed to go their way, with Glenn… » 4/27/08 10:30am 4/27/08 10:30am

1st Round, Third Overall: Falcons Select Matty Ice

The Falcons wish to remain anonymous. After a year of dog torturing and climb-out-the bathroom-window coach quitting, the team would like to return to the quiet old days when David Archer was the quarterback and the average crowd rivaled the turnout on the Asia reunion tour. They hired someone named Mike Smith as… » 4/26/08 3:22pm 4/26/08 3:22pm