matthew-clemmens - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wait, suddenly Philly fans are great?It was only Michael Lorenzen’s second start with the Phillies since he was acquired from Detroit at the trade deadline. And he threw a spectacular no-hitter, no doubt about it. A whole 124 pitches, with none of them leading to a hit, was special. Lorenzen offered his thanks to everyone involved on h...

Pudgy Philly Puker To The PokeyMatthew Clemmens will spend 60 to 90 days in jail, and do community service (the judge suggested cleaning bathrooms at Citizens Bank Park) after pleading guilty to assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. We're awaiting comment from crazy uncle Dave. [Inquirer]...

Pukey Phillies Fan Cops A Plea; His Crazy Uncle Weighs InMatthew Clemmens pleaded guilty today to assault; he's expected to receive probation. But the real news is that we heard back from his conspiracy theorist uncle!...

Vomiting Phillies Fan's Uncle Would Like Us To Do...Something

Ever since we've started covering the story of Matthew Clemmens, best known for allegedly vomiting on an 11-year old girl, and rocking "Material Girl" at karaoke, his uncle has been pestering us about...well, we're not really sure what he wants....

Family Rushes To Vomiting Fan's Defense In Eminently Quotable Fashion

Now I'm no Perry Mason, but I'd say that if your defense rests in part on there being a distinction between a right person and a wrong person on whom to ralph, your case is lost already....

Apropos Of Nothing, Here's Phillies Vomit Kid Doing Madonna Karaoke

Mean-spirited? Yeah, a little. Only tangentially related to sports? Sure. But fuck it. Here's Matthew Clemmens (stage name: Pukemon) with "Material Girl."...