It was famously said of Layne that "he never lost a game, he just ran out of time." Well, Matthew Stafford did run out of time yesterday and still managed to pull off a legendary come-from behind victory on the last play against the Browns. With only one arm. Urban legend has it that Layne once got in a car accident while driving drunk on a Saturday night, then showed up on Sunday morning and led the Lions to a win. Stafford—who attended the same high school as Layne, don'tcha know—picked himself up off the sideline with a busted shoulder to throw a game-winning touchdown. (He sort of had no choice. Daunte Culpepper sure didn't want to do it and putting on a helmet would have ruined the whole LPGA golfer look that Drew Stanton had going on.)

Urban legend also has it that Layne cursed his former franchise to 50 years of losing after they traded him away in 1958. Well, we're at 51 and counting, but perhaps the statute of limitations has finally been lifted. The team is still a long way from being good, but could they finally havefound the leader with that mythical toughness that inspires nations and make women weep? No one knows what "it" is, but he's got it! If you're going to build yourself a legend, Sunday's "gritty" 5-TD performance would be a good way to start.

Years from now, every Lions fan will talk about how they saw this man in this game and knew that things had finally turned around for this hapless franchise ... and you will know that they are lying because the stadium was half-full and the game was blacked out. (More on that later.) Stafford probably won't play during their nationally televised Thanksgiving game in four days when his team will undoubtedly be spanked, so the legend is going to need a little more time to simmer. But what a glorious four days they will be for Lions fans. Naturally, the greatest post-game glow of good feelings that they've seen in years had to come during the short week.

[Photo: Julian H. Gonzalez/Detroit Free Press]

Matthew Stafford, Matt Cassel lead way in NFL Week 11 [Peter King]
Stafford winning teammates over [The Morning Sun]
There's no doubt now: Stafford is strong enough to lead [Detroit Free Press]
In battle of the bottom, Lions and Browns play a thriller [MJD]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Brady Quinn: Looks like someone else benefited from facing a porous secondary and a non-existent pass rush. When you can double your career touchdown total in one quarter, you know the only way to go is up. [Tribune Chronicle - Warren, OH]

San Diego Chargers: Remember when some idiot wrote that Denver had pretty much sewn up the AFC West and Josh McDaniels was the new George Halas? The term you're looking for is "short-sighted." [BroncoTalk]

Real Salt Lake: Why does a team from Utah have a Spanish name? And how does a team with a losing regular-season record win your league championship? (Oh, right. Penalty kicks.) [Salt Lake Tribune]

And who is the Weekend Loser? Anyone who enjoys picking on Charlie Weis. Remember ... if he gets fired, then you can't make fun of Charlie Weis anymore. (And Notre Dame might actually get better.) It's quite a catch, that Catch-22. [Sporting News]

In any other season, this is just two less than mediocre teams playing out the string. (Yes, in Week 3.) But the Lions did not have a horrific collapse this time. Their quarterback was competent and—dare I say it?—poised. (But Matt ... please don't stick your tongue out like that again. Ever.) Their defense managed a couple of decent stops. Tackles were made, passes were not dropped and Detroit is 1-2. Huzzah!

I don't think anyone in Detroit believes that this "changes everything." This team is still a long way from being decent. This is not the start of a meteoric rise to a Super Bowl dynasty. There will be many more setbacks before the year is out. (And William Clay Ford is not suddenly redeemed. Or "classy".) But for the first time in the two years, the Lions and their fans can be the ones to say, "At least we're not those guys." (The Redskins are doing some serious soul searching today and probably aren't finding much to look at.)

The moral of the story, as always, is don't invite Tom Cruise to hang out on your sideline before the game. It only makes your mission more impossibler.

Mitch Albom: Blacked out, knocked down … Lions arise! [Detroit Free Press]
Detroit revels in rare chance to rejoice [Washington Times]
Lions finally get 'King Kong' off their back [Dan Wetzel]
Detroit Lions Get First Win Since 2007! [Sports Climax]
Washington Football: The Ultimate Story Line Victims [Stet Sports]
Game's On. Will Tom Cruise Jinx it? [NBC Washington]
[Photo via Detroit Free Press]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big:

Tim Tebow: Is there any way "The Immaculate Headache" doesn't increase his legend tenfold? The man cured swine flu! [TimTeblog]

Iowa Hawkeyes: Actually, they win any weekend where the schedule reads "Penn State." It's required by the Patriot Act. [Black Heart Gold Pants]

Kevin Kolb: First quarterback in NFL history to throw for 300+ yards in each of his first two career starts. Why don't you write a press release about that, PETA? [Sporting News]

BCS Haters: Boise State is now ranked fifth in both polls. Paging LeGarrette Blount! [USA Today]

Phil Mickelson: In your face, cancer. [Telegraph]

And then he showed some of those Matthew Stafford partying pictures, with the bikinis and the boobs and such! "The entire room burst into laughter," which is the first time that sentence has been written about a room in Detroit since 1993.

Before anyone knew quite what was happening, according to a source familiar with the Lions organization, the laughter quickly transformed into uncontrollable, hysterical weeping. At press time everyone reported feeling much better, but they were secretly filled with mounting, uncontrollable dread.

my friend and i from uga were just talking about this the other night. stafford... took [his girlfriend] and a whole bunch of friends from highland park to the bahamas for the 4th.

Lions QB Matt Stafford ...is in Lake St. Clair Michigan.

Pics came from "Cocktail Cove" on Lake Lanier in Georgia. It's about 30 minutes north of Atlanta. Someone I knew from school was photographed with him in the identical shades / trunks over July 4th weekend and went straight to Facebook with pride (presumably barking while uploading).

Judging by the photo, I'm pretty sure they're at Cedar Creek Lake, a large body of water about 45 minutes east of Dallas where affluent Highland Park locals purchase opulent lakehouses and allow their children to drink from the ubiquitous Red Cup. Stafford's been back in Dallas this summer, they had a place down there in high school, it stands to reason. It's not a lock and it's utterly boring, but what the hell do you want from me?

Four tips, four different guesses. Maybe Stafford was in all of those places. Or none. It's a mystery!

We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another.

Yep, These Are My (Non) Readers

Tommy Teenager Is Not Happy

i dont think ive told you this lately, but you killed deadspin. so congrats on that.
basically everything that used to be great about deadspin when leitch left now sucks.
as a fellow philadelphian, i gave you some space to figure shit out, but man, you really blew it.

jesus you suck,
tommy.

ps- i hope you have some chapstick at the ready for everytime you've sucked denton's dick.

Dash Bennett: Alabama Bigot

Dashiell Bennett:

It is amusing to me to read such a poorly written article about a practically irrelevant sporting event by a pompous, self-righteous blowhard. The joke is actually on you, Mr. Bennett. While you think your witty, little Birmingham-bashing rants are garnering you favor and praise among your ilk, it's comical to see such ignorance on display. Birmingham is not without its problems (much like your fine city is not without its problems), and I cannot wait for the day that this city elects a competent mayor. But for you to continually bash an entire group of people based on geographic location alone is ignorance at its finest. You've never been to Birmingham, but your incredibly high level of disdain is as if Bull Connor put a fire hose on you himself. You're like Arthur Frommer (oh geez, I really don't wish to give your little posts that level of credibility) ranting about how terrible of travel location a place is he has never been.

In short, you're a bigot, Mr. Bennett. Albeit, your brand of bigotry has become widely-accepted today, it is bigotry nonetheless. It's actually quite the anomaly because you've become exactly what, I assume, led you to hate Birmingham, AL with such passion.

Sincerely,

Jon Sharpton

Birmingham, AL

Yes, We Get It: Todd Reesing Should Not Be Drinking Wine Or Playing With Tiny Dogs Or Dudes Or Whatever He's Doing In These Photos

(The Mainboard, others)

Please Send These Questions To Mr. Craggs For His New Weekly Column "Why Your Period Sucks"

When in menstrual cycle does face break out? Before I go ahead, is there any pointers you might have? Any info much appreciated.
Thank you in advance.
Warmest Regards, Joan

Matt Stafford And Knowshon Moreno Like To Crush Alot

I'll Forward This Right Over To Him

hello my name is r.mack and i am very concerned about T.O I BELIEVE HE NEEDS A SPIRITUAL LEADER IN HIS LIFE.I BELIEVE THAT IF HE DOESNT CHANGE HIS LIFE AROUND HE WILL END UP LIKE ALOT OF RICH MEN GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSS YOUR SOUL. I BELIEVE T.O YOU CAN GET YOUR LIFE RIGHT THREW JESUS CHRIST THE AUTHOR AND FINISHER OF OUR FAITH. YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE WHEN YOU HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE. JESUS WILL BE THERE TO CONFORT YOU WHEN NO ONE IS THERE. COME TO OKLAHOMA T.O AND GET YOUR SPIRIT FEED AND EXCEPT JESUS AND IF YOU HAVE LETS LIVE LIKE HE WANTS US TO

No, Thank You

Whats up man. I was talking to my friend about what a dictator roger goodell is, and i said he should start running cuba, which led to the nickname Fidel Goodell. Feel free to use this, i haven't heard anyone else say it.

Thanks.

Enjoy

(blows otu) this remind me of my friend names qwerts. about 4 year ago he was married to this lady names henry etta. every thing seem normal in the outside. sure they have they problems (what couple dont) and they have good times too. one time at teh carnival qwerts threw quarter and it land perfectly on a red hole and bigno, he win a car. that night we all drive around until teh sun come up, laughin and talkin about that great throw he make. qwerts have his arm around henry etta teh whole time and they was kissin and smilin and you just knews that it was probly teh greatest time in the history of a world for them. i remember that night so clear because henry etta win that cd by kelly clarpson at the whackmole. we was playing it in the car and every time she sing since you is gone, huerta would burp real loud. it was one of them magic night where everything was perfect.

so a few month later I see qwerts and lets just put it this way, he is devistating. I ask him what is wrong "hey qwerts, you look sad, what is problem." "hey stups, it is henry etta. a few night ago she act all weird and next thing i knews, she is gone like a candle of a wind." So i just pet him on teh head and tell him everything gonna be alright and maybe she just forget somethin somewhere and she go to get it. you never really know what it could be. maybe she just see animals and she following them. who knows.

well, (bloews out) about 4 day later we get an answer. and just thinkin about it make knots on my stomach. qwerts was still sad so me and huerta decide that we gonna take him to teh carnival to cheer him up. huerta even buy that kelly clarks cd and teh way there we play that song over and over and huerta burps everytime...lol. we was really laughin and having great time and for one moments, it like qwerts was smilin and he forget about he problems. mission accomplist.

So we get to teh carnival and we doin all the thing we like to do. we all ride the coaster, me and huerta ride the swingin pirate ship and sit on the ends across from each other and when one of us get as high as we can we make funny face at the other guy. qwerts even go to the quarter toss to try to win another car but they dont let him throw one because he probly is so good at it. finally it is gettin late and qwerts decide he wanna play wackmoles before we go. he saw last time that one of they prizes was a paddle ball and he dog (at teh time) jimmy c had chewed the ball off he old paddle so he needed a new one anyways.

Just as he walk up to the game, he see something that will change he life forever. It is henry etta and she is playin whackmoles with another man. They is playin together and teh other man is behind her and they is holdin that mallet together. They was laughin and havin what look like the time of a life. Qwerts start walking over to them and huerta try to stop him, but I grab huerta arm and say "let'm go". Qwerts go over to them and say "henry etta, what is goin on. I am so sad and i dont knew where you is and now I come here and see you playin whackmoles with another man." I am so sad." It turn out that the other man is names Paul Swish. Some of you may know that he grandfather Josia Swish invent whackmoles and Paul been around that game he whole life. That is why henry etta like him because she favorite game is whackmoles and in teh wackmole world, teh swish name is Royal T.

We start walkin away and then huerta have an idea. "hey swish, how about you and qwerts play one whackmole game. who ever get hi score get henry etta." qwerts stop and he turn around to look over at paul and henry etta and they look at each other and think for a moment. Paul nod and wink at henry etta and he yell back " ok, you on." Wow, my heart start beatin like triples. This is exciting, this is a game that will change life for everyone involve. Me and huerta start rubbin querts shoulders. Huerta pull a towel out of he back pocket and put it around he neck. Qwerts step up to he machine and paul swish step up to his. A huge crowd is now gathered around as news spread of teh whackmole show down where the winner get henry etta. It is qwerts verse Paul swish. And now the game of a lifetime starts.

Teh moles is comin up fast and qwerts is really concentrate, he hittin almost all of them. he is biting his toungue and sweatin, he is tryin he best. I look over at paul swish to see how he doin. I will never forget what I see as long as i live. he is holdin that mallet sideways out in front of him with he hand in teh middle of it and he turning it with only he wrist and he hittin moles with both the top of the mallet and teh bottom of it (teh handle!). He is hittin moles so fast that teh crowd is screaming and applause. He other hand is on his hip and he look like a spanished bullfighter. It is breathtaking! And the worst part is that he is beating qwerts by thousand of points. It almost like he knews which hole that moles is comin out of before the moles do. Finally the game is over and qwerts have 520 points. He look over to see what paul swish score is and he see 340. He jump in the air and scream "I win!! henry etta is mine!" Then huerta tell him that he don't see the 6 in front of the 340. Paul swish actually score 6340 points and simply demolish qwerts. Paul and henry etta hug and kiss and they skip away forever, laughing and hi-fiving to teh crowd. paul was signin autogramphs as well.

That was 4 years ago and now qwerts is married to a real nice lady. He don't like to talk about henry etta and now when we go to teh carnivals, he avoid whackmoles all together (he only do squirt baloons). But he get through it and he a better man for it. we heard a few year ago that paul swish get beat at whackmoles by a chinesed boy and lose henry etta so qwerts take some comfort in that. Last we hear was henry etta live honk kong.

so basically what i sayin is you never know. life is unexpect and just kind of gotta roll in it.

stud+s

p and s while i was typin this huerta leave me voice mail that was just him doin burps...lol

The visualization of the inside of Sarah Palin's mind: "Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me - sports... basketball. I use it because you're naïve if you don't see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I'm doing that - keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities - smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball - for victory." This is what that looks like.

Matthew Stafford, No. 1 pick extraordinaire, sure is having fun on his summer break.

Hey, more Detroit Lions! Who wants to re-live 16 losses in a row? Someone!

Before we witnessed the letdown of LeBrondunkgate, we were led to believe that the throwdown was "as good as it could've been hyped up to be." Insert Zapruder witticism here.

And then TMZ pays $3,000 for the tape before we put out a $10k bounty. Thanks for saving us some cash.

In a meltdown of epic proportions — even for Mad Dog's standards — Christopher Russo admits he needs to find a staff of little Mad Dogs, not little Bow-Wows: "We are the Washington Nationals. Check that: We are the Washington Generals." If only they knew something about the cast of Gone With The Wind.

How athletes are spending their summer vacations: the gallery version. This, folks, is intrepid journalism.

A woman files a civil suit against Ben Roethlisberger, alleging that he sexually assaulted her. ESPN sits on the story for 36 hours.

On July 4, Steve McNair is found shot to death in a Nashville apartment.

If you're reading this, you already know.

And it won't cost them much. Just $72 million. (Oh, but it won't be that much. Don't worry!)

Rumor has it that the Lions took Stafford because his scouting report said that his name could be re-arranged to spell "Ford Farts," which is too hilarious not too draft him, despite naysayers who project that Stafford doesn't have two "R"s in his last name. Lions general manager Martin Mayhew would likely call those reports "pessimistic" and "without merrit."

In all reality, nobody's going to give Mayhew a pass because he was basically Matt Millen's right hand man during the entire decade. (I really hope everybody knows this. The Lions couldn't win a single game and they still didn't clean house. They just promoted from within. Corner. TURNED!) But no matter who he picked today, people would probably raise eyebrows, so it's best to reserve all judgment on the Stafford selection until, let's say, five years, when the Lions release Stafford and look to draft another franchise quarterback.

Lions Show How Much They Value Stafford [Detroit Free Press]

Curry was interviewed on Sirius satellite radio on Tuesday and said that he would accept sign a deal worth less than $30 million, which is what last year's top pick, Jake Long, got. That amount is also what Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford is expected to demand if he is chosen by the Lions. "I'd be more than happy to accept that deal," Curry said.

I've actually been able to exchange text messages with Mr. Mayhew himself, just discussing the whole situation," Curry said. "He gave me some birthday wishes on my birthday and we talked about just how things would be if me, (and Lions linebackers) Ernie Sims and Julian Peterson were together in one room, just to be able to go out there and wreak havoc. "I told him I look forward to talking to him very soon."

But Stafford did not sit idly by while Curry was sweetening the pot. Stafford said on Tuesday that if the Lions picked him, he would throw in his Chevy Tahoe as a trade-in.

Lions: 'Very Good Chance' Top Pick Signs Before Draft [Detroit Free Press]
Aaron Curry Willing To Accept Below-Market Deal To Be Lions' No. 1 Pick [USA Today]
Matthew Stafford Ready To Trade In Chevy Tahoe [Detroit News]

If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes.

There are other pictures here of Stafford enjoying the company of a keg and of a young lady who must've been very jealous.

Talladega Days [deepsouthsports.net]
Brady Quinn Is Making Friends [Deadspin]