Folks, I beseech you: Anytime you have a problem with Gawker Tech, email me. I will open up a ticket. We will flood them with reminders that they suck. It might not fix anything but it will make us somewhat more satisfied. Fuck.

Anyways, here's the song:

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Some of the Facebook commenters are giving me aneurysms.

Also, if you rent a goalie for your team when your regular guy can't make it, and he gives up 8 goals on 12 shots, shouldn't you get your money back?

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My Wednesday night rec league team. All the guys on our team are in their late 20s/early 30s, so a bunch have very young kids, including our goalie...so he can't make a lot of our later games. Tonight we couldn't get any of our other usual fallbacks so we had to hire a rent-a-goalie. Just brutal.

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@Pete Gaines: Tell me that is a joke.

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@Kid Canada: if the Manifest so damn hard to read? Also, a late +1 for the chuckle I got when I read the "turn you in for for being on Deadspin" comment earlier.

@Clare: yes, propane. Glad to see you were listening.

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@Pete Gaines: What is Smells Like Teen Spirit?
/Leitch'd

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I'm impressed by your restraint.

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Then just stay in touch with her until she decides to dump the boyfriend. Don't be a sucker.

@Jerkweezy: That's funny because there is a fat load who (used to) live next door to me.

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/lumbergh

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Trust me, I learned this the hard way.

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@notthequarterback: Fair enough.

All I'm saying is that if you have the stones to tell someone you like them, do it. If you have a crush on someone and say something, they might not like you back, but at least you'll know where you stand. I always want to know where I stand. I'm a grownup--I can handle anything anybody says to me, good or bad, as long as they say it to my face.

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Hey Ingrid, after the Rorschach blots and CAT scans and whatnot, why not neuter him and force him to eat vegan? After which, hell, why not, let's even throw him in fucking prison? Oh, wait.

When will people realize PETA's just another shrill, irrelevant cult?

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If only we could sick Rorschach on PETA, the world would be a much better place. I imagine he wouldn't be the biggest fan.

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(Except even their usual bad asses, alas, decided not to touch Cruisiology for fear of litigation. Which frankly gets on my nerves, but whatever, other than that P&T are the shit.)

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Somebody's gotta put the screws to these dudes; much like PETA they've enjoyed way too much irrational, media-enabled credibility. It's a damn shame P&T won't be the ones to do it, mainly because we know they'd just eviscerate their asses. Gleefully. With many props and cheesy carny tricks.

Lord Xenu obviously knows it too.

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But Scientology has a lot of friends in high places, because it is a religion that more-or-less says that one can overcome everything if one has enough money. It's a televangelist scam of the rich and famous, because they're the most susceptible to it.

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Some of us would suggest that much of religion is a scam. Is it so much weirder to suggest that, for instance, God impregnated a virgin whose son died and was raised from the Dead, and watches us 24/7 to decide whether our "souls" go to a good place or bad place after we die?

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/lapsed Catholic

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Oops.

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@Chicago Sometimes: HALF SHEET PANS! I have three half sheet pans with lids that I guard with my life. I brought them to a cookie exchange this year and I had my name in two different places on both pieces.

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@StevePerryPsychOut: I really could run up and down the aisles of that place for hours. The last time I was there I bought a case of Italian tuna in olive oil, a vibrant green cutting board the size of Rhode Island, a shitload of knives, and a case of Ice Breakers Ice Cubes gum.

@meefer: I LOVE the cooking implements. I bought a nonstick frying pan that makes the most beautiful eggs.

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That said, she was probably was saving lives.

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@Jerkweezy: @Pete Gaines: Boys, boys, please, there's enough of me and my turkey chili to go around.

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@Clare: I shall give your recipe a go in time, as it sounds delicious. For now, I dare not stray from my list of foodstuffs. I'm a dirty hippie afterall.

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