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Don’t watch the NFL Draft unless you're paid to do so
Welcome to Deadspin’s The Sports Nihilist, where all is for naught and we are but accidental jolts of electrified meat stuck to the surface of a rock in an indifferent universe. Fuck you....
Mel Kiper Jr. whiffed on Will Levis
Overreaching on quarterbacks has become a yearly tradition. Mitch Trubisky is going to work out! Carson Wentz will be healthy! Peyton Manning and Ryan Leaf? Same thing! And this year, the projection for former Kentucky quarterback Will Levis was way off, with no one being more wrong about the mayonn...
Will Levis the sad man out on NFL Draft Night
Don’t ever let anyone tell you to be yourself. You never know what people will find weird about your “personality.” I ate peanut butter and cheese tacos as a kid, but I would never broadcast that if I was projected to be a first-round pick in the NFL. According to the experts — Mel Kiper and some Re...
Hendon Hooker might be the gem of the 2023 NFL Draft Class, despite his age
Any team lacking a true QB1 that is picking No. 15 or lower in the 2023 NFL Draft needs to take a long look at former Tennessee Volunteers signal-caller Hendon Hooker. He has his flaws, but on the field, they are no worse than any of the top quarterback prospects. His are just different. Hooker has ...
Do we really need 38,500 NFL mock drafts?
If I were to ask the casual NFL fan for an over/under for the number of mock drafts penned regarding the 2023 iteration starting Thursday, I don’t think anyone comes within 10,000 of the actual number. Maybe a staunch cynic gleans what the question is implying and throws out an obscene number, but t...
Mahomes and Hurts’ Black quarterback Super Bowl showdown has been decades in the making
With all due respect to the Salt Lake City NBA All-Star Weekend, Glendale, Arizona is 2023’s “Black Super Bowl.” A week before NBA superstars and celebs descend on Utah, Jalen Hurts and Patrick Mahomes will take the field as the first pair of black quarterbacks to start against one another in a Supe...
Will Levis could be Josh Allen — and I could be Mark Twain
If it was up to me, Will Levis putting mayonnaise in his coffee wouldn’t only discount him from being a first-round pick, but it’d also land him in prison. People who are obsessed with condiments need serious reform in their lives. Scars from working at Subway in high school aside though, I think Le...
I’m sure you’re shocked to find out Mel Kiper isn’t vaccinated
If I had to put a face to the unvaccinated, it would probably look like Mel Kiper Jr.’s. I can’t really tell you why, because it’s not like he’s been even the most outspoken at ESPN about being a dingus. But there’s something about his mush…the fact that it looks like he’s never smiled, and if he ha...
NFL teams, don’t think too hard, if you need a QB, draft Malik Willis
Malik Willis played quarterback at Liberty University (yuck and yuck) for two years after transferring from Auburn. He measured in at the combine at 6½-feet tall, and in Liberty’s biggest game of the year, at Mississippi, he threw for less than 200 yards, three interceptions, and rushed for less tha...
The raging debate over the size of Kenny Pickett’s hands
Sure, the 2022 QB class isn’t the best we’ve ever seen. There’s not a Trevor Lawrence to fight over or a Joe Burrow to trade picks for. But is it really so bad that we have to continue to manufacture drama over poor Kenny Pickett’s hand size?...
Reminder: Mel Kiper Stinks At Actually Evaluating NFL Talent
While Big Mel does OK for himself in mock drafts, though not overly OK, we thought it would be prudent to remind you that the last time we looked, Kiper's pre-draft rankings (which are his estimations of how good the players are, not where they will be drafted) stunk pretty hard. ...
Kiper Vs. McShay Vs. Mayock Death Match: Who's The Best Mock Drafter?
With the NFL Draft pundits rolling out their final mock drafts this week, which one should you pay the most attention to?...
Down With NBA Playoff Color-Outs
Whoa, hey, the paperback edition of Someone Could Get Hurt drops today, so if you were too cheap to spring for a hardcover last spring (and you were; I've seen the royalty statements), now you can buy it on the cheap. Everyone wins when you give me your money....
Which NFL Draft Expert Had The Dumbest Mock Draft?
Republished with permission from Pundit Tracker....
Infographic: You're Better Off Guessing Than Listening To Mel Kiper
For most football fans, the NFL draft is associated with one name: Mel Kiper Jr. The ESPN analyst has been lauded as America's most famous draft expert for decades. We wondered how well his highly-publicized pre-draft rankings would hold up, though. Are the players Kiper claims will be NFL stars act...
Todd McShay's Mock Drafts Have Beaten Mike Mayock's And Mel Kiper's Four Years In A Row
We graded the 2012 Round 1 NFL mock drafts of Mel Kiper (ESPN), Todd McShay (ESPN), and Mike Mayock (NFL.com), and once again, McShay came out on top. This marks the fourth consecutive year in which McShay bested his two fellow pundits in mock draft accuracy....
Ad On ESPN Homepage: Nothing Says Mother's Day Like The Gift Of Mel Kiper's Hair
I think the jeweler who bought the ad is going for the compatibility of trying to select a Mother's Day gift at the same time your favorite NFL team is trying to select the right draft pick. Synergy! But, really, Mel Kiper's hair as your pitch-hair? And let's be honest about using the draft as your ...
A Four-Headed Dong Finally Targets Mel Kiper's Dome
Tipster Bjorn C. was kind enough to share this 2011 NFL Mock Draft screengrab which he interpreted as "AHH! Mel Kiper's being attacked by a four-headed homepage dong!" Though, some may interpret it as "Ooh, Mel Kiper's being attacked by a four-headed homepage dong!"...
Mel Kiper Jr. Tries To Clear The Air On The "Cooperated With An Agent" Thing
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: NFL Draft expert and newly revealed sleaze Mel Kiper Jr....
So, Who Comes Out Looking The Worst From <em>SI</em>'s Agent Tell-All?
An NFL agent with 20 years in the biz names names on who took money and committed other improprieties. But some people we never saw coming: Mel Kiper, really?...