Melky Cabrera's HR Broke A Car Windshield Across The Street From Fenway

Toronto's 14-1 win over Boston was an all-out pummeling, punctuated by Melky Cabrera's second home run on the night, a three-run shot in the nine-run sixth inning. Cabrera's shot to left-center, officially tracked at a disappointing 410 feet, completely cleared the stadium and cracked a car windshield across the… »7/29/14 10:02am7/29/14 10:02am

Report: A-Rod, Gio Gonzalez, Nelson Cruz, Melky Cabrera, Others Named In Records Of Miami PED Dealer

Set aside some time to read Tim Elfrink's bombshell story in the Miami New Times, on what can only be termed BALCO East: a Miami "anti-aging clinic" that specializes in HGH, synthetic testosterone, and any other performance-enhancing drug you can imagine. We know this because the clinic's director helpfully kept… »1/29/13 9:55am1/29/13 9:55am

Law Enforcement Agencies, MLB Investigating Anthony Bosch For Distributing HGH And Testosterone

The Bosch name sounds familiar because Anthony's father, Pedro—an actual doctor—is the man who prescribed Manny Ramirez the female fertility drug human chorionic gonadotropin in 2009. Anthony—who is not a doctor, despite his claims—is now being investigated by both federal and state law enforcement to determine his… »1/27/13 6:45pm1/27/13 6:45pm

Melky Cabrera Is A Toronto Blue Jay, And No One Knows What Will Happen Next

How are we supposed to think about the reported two-year, $16 million contract the Toronto Blue Jays just gave 28-year-old Melky Cabrera, the Yankee-turned-Brave-turned-Royal-turned-Giant, the prospect-turned-fatass-turned-presumptive-batting-champion-turned-disgrace-turned-webmaster-turned-martyr-turned-champion?… »11/16/12 3:45pm11/16/12 3:45pm

The Giants Are Headed To The World Series Without One Of Their Best Players Because They Are Stupid

The San Francisco Giants will play in the World Series with a stupid, self-inflicted handicap. They will be without Melky Cabrera, their best regular-season hitter. Cabrera, whose 50-game performance-enhancing-drug suspension just ended, was left off the Giants' postseason roster for the dumbest of reasons. »10/23/12 4:40pm10/23/12 4:40pm

Baseball Is Banning Melky Cabrera From Winning The Batting Title Because Baseball Sucks

A little over a month ago, Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera tested positive for testosterone and was suspended for 50 games. Old farts got even more upset about it than they usually do, because, when the suspension hit, Cabrera was just a few points behind Andrew McCutchen for the National League batting title. If… »9/21/12 3:45pm9/21/12 3:45pm

Melky Cabrera's Fake Website Sent MLB Investigators All The Way To The Dominican Republic

Can we all just take a second and appreciate how batshit insane Melky Cabrera's scheme to get out of a PED suspension really was? Like, legitimately incredible. In five years, it's going to be hard to believe this is a thing that actually happened. Like Jason Grimsley crawling through the Comiskey ductwork, or the… »8/21/12 10:10am8/21/12 10:10am

Melky Cabrera Cooked Up A Phony Website To Try To Beat His Suspension

The New York Daily News has discovered that in an effort to beat the rap on his 50-game suspension, Melky and his "associates" devised a scheme that included purchasing a website for $10,000, making this website appear to sell a fake product and pretending Melky purchased and used the product, unaware that it… »8/19/12 9:49am8/19/12 9:49am

Did Performance-Enhancing Drugs Actually Help Melky Cabrera?

Since MLB announced Melky Cabrera's 50-game suspension for testosterone earlier this afternoon, a few folks have been crowing about what a fraud Cabrera is. Evidently Cabrera's sin is worse than the usual steroid stuff because he improved dramatically over the last two years and planned to parlay that improvement into… »8/16/12 12:05am8/16/12 12:05am

Melky Cabrera Tests Positive For Testosterone, Is Suspended 50 Games, Can Still Win The Batting Title

The Giants' Melky Cabrera wowed us this year. That doughy loser who couldn't cut it in New York or Atlanta managed to hit .346/.390/.516 in 113 games, and for good measure, he won the All-Star Game for the National League. But that will be all for him in 2012, because Cabrera, MLB says, was pumped full of foreign… »8/15/12 3:45pm8/15/12 3:45pm