The last time Miami was on TV, Copper Girl became a brief shining star. And that got under the very hairy skin of one fame-seeking gentleman. What to do? How could he ever steal the spotlight from a woman who should, by all rights, be dead from overexposure to glitter? In a flash, he had the answer and a new rivalry was born.

As you can see, from the tell tale signs of copper mixed with hair, these two had quite a battle garnering the cameraman's attention. Or they made sweet sticky love right there in the front row. Either way, that explains the tears.

Miami is back, baby!

Dude, What. The. Fuck. is up with shaving your... [Morning Glass]

* * * * *

It's Friday. So there.

•Don't cry, Canes fans, The U looks like it's back after a blowout win over Georgia Tech. Next up: ranked Virginia Tech, higher ranked Oklahoma, and the very highly ranked "avoiding off-the-field controversies." That last one may prove unwinnable.

•The umpires claim that they were verbally abused by Angels coaches after two abominable questionable calls Wednesday night. You know what, Angels? Nick Green's OPS is .669. He deserves five-strikes-and-you're out, to make it fair.

•Roger Federer was fined $1,500 for this little remark at the US Open: "Don't tell me to be quiet, OK? When I want to talk, I talk. I don't give a shit what he said." Thanks to Roger and Serena, we know know that "fuck" is precisely seven times more offensive than "shit" in tennis. I don't even want to know what "mecrob" would cost you.

•A lockout of NBA refs is "imminent and unavoidable" after talks with the league broke down yesterday. The refs turned down an extra million dollars in concessions, which leads me to believe they haven't looked at the poll on this page that says only 24% of fans care if they come back. Leverage indeed.

•A judge has ruled that Kobe Bryant's former housekeeper can sue him for being wrongfully fired, but can't claim emotional distress. Honey, you got off lucky. I don't know if you've heard about Kobe's last court case, but consider yourself lucky if the distress was just emotional.

•I hope Dash didn't think his Mets Season Of Failure gallery was finished. Elias says the Mets have three game-ending errors this season. That's three times as many as any other team.

•Finally, did you like the Commodore 64? Do you think it would have been better if only they put out a version of Guitar Hero for it? You're not alone:

This comes from last night's Miami-Florida State whizbang of a game on ESPN, via about a million of you. Shocking though it may seem, it is entirely in keeping with broadcast guidelines that require that any crowd shot in Tallahassee include at least one massive boob.

* * * * *

Good morning. Helluva game. Here's some Zevon:

If you think this video's blurry, how do you think that asshole that got his helmet blown off feels? That's what I thought, sucka.

'Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water' and 'The end of the Miami/UNC game was Oregonstateesque' - Andre Ware had been waiting all game to bust those out.-Ahp9

Just saw the first ever 9 point swing on 1 play. A 97-yard touchdown throw for Indiana called back for holding in the endzone, which was a safety for Michigan State.—Chilltown [Ed: wouldn't that be an 8-point swing?]

I just saw two miami backup QBs give a synchronized hand motion play call.  I must be on more drugs than the hurricane secondary. —Zombie Jesus X [Ed: Just saw three QBs do it for Indiana against Michigan State, and "only one of those was the real call." Wonder which one?]

• Heisman winner Tim Tebow is coming off of a busy off season of hookers and blow spreading the word of God to underprivileged children. Look for beams of light from the heavens with each touchdown pass.

• Miami quarterback Robert Marve will be making his debut tonight after injuries kept him sidelined last year and a suspension held him back last week. Marve broke many of Tebow's high school records so this could be an interesting head-to-head.

• Also making his season debut is Florida star receiver Percy Harvin. Harvin had heel surgery in the spring, so we'll see how it holds up.

• Florida hasn't beaten Miami in this match-up in 23 years. Look for that streak to end tonight.

Consider this your DUAN/Open thread for the evening. I'll be back in the morning to re-cap the game and take you through a most glorious day of NFL football. Get your Tostadas ready. It's going to be an exciting ride.

Football Sports Information Director Rick Korch was fired — but not yet charged — after a routine sweep of his work computer brought up several instances of child pornography. And he was the one who asked for the sweep.

Korch made a request of university technicians that his computer be checked because it was running slowly. Korch provided his user name and password to university technician Alberto Perez, who discovered files in the computer of sexually explicit material, according to the search warrant. Included in the files was a video of a man having sex with a "prepubescent female" and images revealing "scantily clad females who appeared to be between the ages of 10 and 15 years old in sexual type poses."

Under a folder titled "Season Recaps," university technicians found other images of children engaged in sexual conduct. According to police, one child was estimated to be between 6 and 8 years old.

Blech. At least now they know why his computer was running slowly. Yipes.

Hurricanes Employee Fired Over Child Porn On His Computer [Sports By Brooks]

#10 Davidson 82, #7 Gonzaga 76. Stephen Curry scored 40 on 8-11 three-point shooting in Raleigh, but it was the timely rebounding of Andrew Lovedale (13 boards to go with 12 points) that saved the Wildcats' bacon. Adam Morrison was in attendance, looking like the lead singer of a goth tribute band. No word yet on whether he cried. Oh, who are we kidding, of course he did. Davidson advances to face the Georgetown/UMBC winner.

#12 Western Kentucky 101, Drake 99 (OT). Western Kentucky had the ball in a tie game at the end of regulation, but Academic All-American Adam Emmenecker stepped in to draw a controversial charge that allowed the game to go to OT. Another questionable call in the extra frame didn't change the outcome, however, as the Hilltoppers' Ty Rogers hit the clutch three over two defenders to win the game. WKU will face the UConn/San Diego winner. Pretty freaking wild shot that everyone in America saw, except for the people who work and/or don't care about baskeball.

#2 Tennessee 72, #15 American 57. Let there be no doubt about this - American could have won this game. They showed no fear, and led several times in the game, but Tennessee put on a run in the second half and put them away behind a balanced scoring effort that featured three players in double figures (two Smiths and a Chism, if you're keeping score). Tennessee advances to face the Butler/South Alabama winner.

#7 Miami 78, #10 St. Mary's 64. Jack McClinton's 38 would be the story today, if Stephen Curry hadn't knocked down a couple of clutch free throws. St. Mary's led early in this one, but couldn't maintain in the second half, as the three-bid WCC is down to San Diego if they hope to advance to the second round. If Texas advances in the later game, Haith will be facing his former boss. Miami faces the Texas/Austin Peay winner.

MIAMI HURRICANES

1. The Saving Grace of South Florida Sports. South Florida is not exactly considered a college hoops hotbed. The Canes have long been an afterthought even for their own students and the community. But with every team associated with the Miami area deciding to suck all at once, the Canes basketball team has emerged from relative anonymity at the start of the season to be the saving grace of South Florida sports in 2008. The Canes' 22 wins this season are more than the Hurricanes football team, Dolphins and Heat combined. It will also most likely rival the number of wins the Marlins pick up this season.

2. In Frank We Trust. How Frank Haith wasn't named ACC Coach of the Year remains a mystery. Picked to finish dead last in the ACC preseason poll, Haith officially stamped his mark on the program with a 96-95 won victory over Duke on February 20. Haith, a well traveled coach with previous assistant gigs at Wake Forest, Texas, Texas A&M and Penn State, has done a remarkable job in rebuilding the Canes while competing in the best conference in America. Don't be surprised to hear his name swirling when big name vacancies start popping up in few weeks.

3. Jack in the Box. Jack McClinton's shooting range begins once he crosses mid-court. The leading scorer for the Canes (17.0 ppg) has the sweetest shot in college basketball that no one knows about. The first team All-ACC selection struggled throughout the conference tournament (just 24 points in two games) and Miami will need him to heat up soon if they are to have any shot of winning a game in the Dance. — Storming The Floor

ST. MARY'S GAELS

1. That Confusing Nickname. Saint Mary's, out of the West Coast Conference (aka Gonzaga's Conference) cannot be found on a map by many (or any?) but is 20 miles from Oakland and San Francisco in the hills of the East Bay. They may suffer from having the most confusing name in college basketball. To Clarify, a Gael is not a bird, nor a storm, nor wizard, it is a Scottish or Irish knight who fought on foot.

2. Mate! A big part of the Gaels' success and media recognition this year can be accredited to the country that has given us Mel Gibson, Marion Jones' Olympic platform, Andrew Bogut and Corey Delany Washington. That's right, the Land Down Under continues to impact the American landscape. Patrick Mills, a freshman Aussie Aboriginal point guard has attracted a lot of attention this year, not only for being second native Australian (after his uncle) to play for his country's Olympic team but for ROASTING Oregon for 37 points early in the year. He was named All-Conference, All-Freshman, All-Around popular kid. He's been supplemented by big impact from backup point, Carlin Hughes, and athletic forward Lucas Walker, both Aussie transfers from Montana St. Billings. Redshirting is Indiana transfer Ben Allen. Next year the Gaels will run 4 Aussies at once at times. (Be afraid Gonzaga, be very afraid.) And true to stereotype, they are a people that like to have fun. (Be afraid Campus Police, be very afraid.) Regardless of what you may have heard (in the previous paragraph), they have more than Men from the Land DownUnder. Local talent Diamon Simpson, a junior, was named first team All-Conference this week. He's only 6-7 but is so long...7 footer's wingspan. He works extremely hard on the glass, blocks shots, and usually can out-quick his matchup on the block. Omar Samhan, 6-10 center and Honorable Mention All-Conference, is another local product; he has a great touch around the rim and also works extremely hard underneath. What he doesn't have is athleticism so if the Gaels face a team with some athleticism and size to match, he's pretty ineffective.

3. Problems Around. For those you looking here for insider bracket help — you're better off picking based on mascots if you're turning here for insider analysis — a few criticisms that might be helpful: St. Mary's really prefers a faster paced game where they can spread the floor and get early shots, they really struggle when the game slows down (76.3 pts/game average yet scoring 61.2 pts/game in loses). Also, no statistics to back it up, but teams that bang on the perimeter are terrible match-ups for Gaels (i.e. Southern Illinois, Kent State losses). Lastly, and not to be a dick, but they don't make in-game adjustments. — Matt O'Leary

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2. In Frank We Trust. How Frank Haith wasn't named ACC Coach of the Year remains a mystery. Picked to finish dead last in the ACC preseason poll, Haith officially stamped his mark on the program with a 96-95 won victory over Duke on February 20. Haith, a well traveled coach with previous assistant gigs at Wake Forest, Texas, Texas A&M and Penn State, has done a remarkable job in rebuilding the Canes while competing in the best conference in America. Don't be surprised to hear his name swirling when big name vacancies start popping up in few weeks.

3. Jack in the Box. Jack McClinton's shooting range begins once he crosses mid-court. The leading scorer for the Canes (17.0 ppg) has the sweetest shot in college basketball that no one knows about. The first team All-ACC selection struggled throughout the conference tournament (just 24 points in two games) and Miami will need him to heat up soon if they are to have any shot of winning a game in the Dance. — Storming The Floor

Expect the concrete tears to flow for the 70-year-old facility. It's historic past includes hosting three of the U's five national titles, five Super Bowls, Olympic soccer games and Bill Simmons. And tonight: Jon Secada! (The Miami grad is set to sing the national anthem.)

To commemorate the occasion and history, Miami has invited all former players back to form the pregame tunnel for players to run through as they emerge from the locker room. That could look pretty cool. A special halftime ceremony is also planned, and there'll be postgame events as well. And dude ... Jon Secada!

So enjoy the moment, and goodbye, sweet Orange Bowl. May stadium heaven be filled with nothing but warm weather and less drunks who piss on you.

On the FIU campus yesterday, they held some sort of pep rally for the Golden Panthers, and a Deadspin reader attended. Here's his report:

As a student of FIU, there is no game we looked forward to last year more than the UM game. It obviously didn't disappoint anyone in attendance last year. It was right up there with the Marlins World Series games as the greatest sports games I ever attended.

So this year obviously there was a big demand for tickets and once again a lot of hype surrounding the game. To try to get the FIU faithful ready and excited for this game, the FIU Football team decided to have an autograph signing in the bookstore, which had a number of players and coaches. Obviously when i heard about this I rushed to get into my FIU gear hoping to meet the school hero that is A'mod Ned. With nothing but hope on my side, I tried to get my crutches to fake an injury to try and get Ned to sign one if he was there. No dice: I couldn't find my crutches but put on my goldrush shirt to get in the mood.

He ended up being there along with some defensive players and the back up kicker, who, when we asked a bookstore employee why he was there, said he had heard about the signing and was hanging out there pathetically, and the coach felt bad, so told him to sign things.

Well, whatever ... look, there's Ned! We hope he runs for 300 yards and pulls off the upset.

It's on!

Florida International faces The U on Saturday in a rematch of the famous "hell 2 da nah" brawl from last year. Lamar Thomas, having been fired for last year's debacle, sadly won't be there, but Ned will be ... he's actually the Golden Panthers' starting running back. (The crutches, sadly, are also gone.)

They say there's not going to be a fight this time. We can only hope and pray that they are wrong.

UM, FIU Coaches Step Up To Ensure Brawl Won't Occur Again [Orlando Sentinel]
Deadspin Hall Of Fame: Ned [Deadspin]

Florida International is sharing the Orange Bowl with the Hurricanes this year — and would could possibly go wrong there? — and since this is the last year for the Orange Bowl (sorry, Winslow), that means FIU will be playing North Texas in the Orange Bowl's final game. So now, officially, Lamar, FIU owns your house. You'd know this if, you know, you hadn't have been fired.

FIU Will Come Into The Orange Bowl And Do Whatever They Want [Just Call Me Juice]

Log's Blog has a full wrapup for us, and some of them are doing right well for themselves.

Brandon Meriweather- aka "Hollaman"
Famous Lyrics: "I fucked this bitch on the beach last night, This bitch was talking 'bout how her pussy was hurtin;' Bitch, I don't give a fuck, let that shit burn, bitch I still want to hit that ass"

Where is he now? Judging by the lyrics, you can already tell that Meriweather is one of the classier members of the group. He doesn't give a shit if you have a sandy vagina, or even an STD. He can't possibly know what that bitch's burn is, but it's a risk he's willing to take. His risk-taking nature with vagina has translated well to the gridiron and also the parking lot. In 2006 when his teammate Willie Cooper (aka Dub-C [see below]) was shot in the ass, Meriweather returned fire. He wasn't charged with a crime in this incident because, shockingly, his gun was owned legally. Also in 2006, he was a major part of the Miami/Florida International brawl; he was the one stomping on FIU players on the ground. In 2007, he was drafted by the New England Patriots with the 24th pick. The Patriots are confident they can reform him into a "Belichick guy," they even brought in Randy Moss to speed up that process.

We'll know our man Zook is recruiting effectively when the Illini have their own ISR Floor 8 Crew.

Meanwhile: What's our name? Will Dawg. What you do? Play Lego Star Wars! How you do it? Using the Space Bar to fire! True, true!

Seventh Floor Crew: Where Are They Now? [Log's Blog]
Seventh Floor Crew [MySpace]

Anyway, it looks like Miami is welcoming Luther back after years of exile.

apper Luther Campbell says he appreciates how Randy Shannon has welcomed him back to the UM family. 'Randy called the first recruiting day and said, `Luke, I want you to come down here.' And I said, 'You sure?' He said, 'Yeah.' Whatever I can do to help him out, I'm here for.'' Campbell runs an Optimist club in Liberty City, and some of those players could end up Canes. Shannon invited him to bring 8,000 kids to the Georgia Tech game.

Campbell, aware UM had tried to distance itself from him, said, ''I understand they were trying to clean up their image, but I wasn't part of the problem. All I ever did was tell Jerome Brown, Melvin Bratton, Darrell Fullington to go in the right direction.'' But Campbell won't ask for a sideline pass: ``It's too hot.''

True, Campbell once paid Hurricanes for big plays, but that was a long time ago. Besides, if Miami gets in trouble, there's one man who can stand bravely against them.

A Man Who Doesn't Spend Time With His Family Can Never Be A Real Man [Lt. Winslow]

A friend who's a big Star Wars dork — you're shocked that we have such friends, we're sure — forwards us this creative concoction put together by an inventive (and, certainly, lonely) Star Wars aficionado and college football watcher.

Larry Coker might be gone from Miami, but that compassion for you will be his undoing. He will come to you, and then you will bring him before Larry Coker.

Miami Ex Head Coach Larry Coker [Rebel Scum]

He had some clear skills in the land of lyrical flow.

"(Whats your name?) G-Reg. (What you do?) Get head. (How you do it?) Drop my drawers, let her see my third leg. Chillin' on the 7th floor, I gotta let these chickens know Big Greg is in the house, and I'm gonna to make these hoes choke. On my balls, on my dick then I bust a nut quick. On her face, on her chest, stick my dick between her breasts. Come on fellas, let's get weird. Stick your dick up in her ear. While I'm laughin at these guys, a second nut all in her eyes. (Wait a minute...in her eyes?) In her eyes."

We've always loved the Seventh Floor Crew — "Multiply that bitch up and you get my dick size!" — and are pleased one member is taking his skillz to the land of the Super Bowl Shuffle.

(What's your name?) Will Dawg! (What you do?) Clock hos! Or something!

Greg Olsen Is A Great Rapper [Tremendous Upside Potential]
The Chick-Fil-A Bowl Shuffle [Deadspin]
Seventh Floor Crew [MySpace]

Randy Shannon has issued a straightforward warning to his University of Miami football players: Get caught carrying a firearm and your days as a Hurricane are over. After two shooting incidents involving UM players last year, Shannon plans to enforce a "zero-tolerance'' policy regarding weapons.

"You get caught with a firearm, you're dismissed from the football team," UM's coach said Monday. "They're gone. They know the rules. It's not hard rules. It's to protect them."

You know, this rule is exactly why Brigham Young has struggled in recent years. We are extremely happy to live in a world in which the head coach of a major college football program starts off the spring by saying, "No, seriously, this time I MEAN IT! No guns! Seriously, guys: No more AKs, all right?" Note to Miami players: Please ignore this rule. Hell, you play Florida International again this year; you're gonna need 'em.

Shannon: Firearms Will Not Be Tolerated [Palm Beach Post]