“Giancarlo Stanton, what did that baseball do to you?” muses the Marlins’ color commentator. And, well, given the way the baseball was treated—namely, donged so hard you don’t have time to even think Hey wait I thought he was struggling this year? before it gets out of the park—here are some possibilities:
Today, Ichiro Suzuki hit an eighth-inning double off of Fernando Rodney to the right field corner. He sent Giancarlo Stanton to third, and he trotted into second base easily, looking mildly annoyed more than anything before he briefly removed his batting helmet to salute the crowd. If you count his 1,278 hits in…
Marlins pitcher José Fernández has advanced to straight clowning batters.
The Class-A Greensboro Grasshoppers placed Miami Marlins outfield prospect Stone Garrett on the disabled list Saturday after 2015 first-round pick Josh Naylor injured him with a knife last week in a practical joke that went awry.
Two hours before Muhammad Ali’s death was announced to the world by his family, news that Ali had died was broken by none other than the Miami Marlins. No, seriously, I think.
Barry Bonds, home run king and Miami Marlins hitting coach, is enjoying somewhat of a personal and professional renaissance this year. He’s back in baseball for the first time since 2007, he seems to be enjoying himself, and the Marlins look much better than last year now that Bonds is on their staff.
Ichiro Suzuki should be making us sad. He’s 42 years old, a wisp of the player he used to be, and currently in year two of the Joe Montana-in-Kansas City phase of his career. An old-ass former star playing out his final days for a no-account team like the Marlins, in a stadium as garish as it is consistently empty, is…
The Miami Marlins are just cooling off after an unholy hot streak where they won 11 of 12 and hit some bombastic dongers. They kicked off their three-game series against the Brewers with a second-inning dinger from J.T. Realmuto, who sent one to the garish monstrosity in center field to give the Marlins a 2-0 lead.
The only thing more shocking than how far Giancarlo Stanton hit this baseball is that it somehow didn’t explode immediately upon contact with the bat. The MLB Statcast-measured numbers: 475 feet, 112.8 mph exit velocity, and 5.5 seconds of hangtime:
Everyone knows that these ASU sorority sisters are the highest practitioners of the baseball selfie, but this Miami bro—clearly motivated to show his stuff against their beloved Diamondbacks—made lemonade when Brandon Drury crashed into his zone.
By now you know that Marlins second baseman and reigning NL batting champ Dee Gordon has been suspended 80 games for testing positive for PEDs. This will cost him roughly half his 2016 salary, or around $1.65 million; it will not cost him the other half of his 2016 salary, or the remainder of the five-year, $50…
One of baseball’s most exciting players will miss half the season as Marlins infielder Dee Gordon has tested positive for PEDs, according to Major League Baseball.
Kenta Maeda has spent his first season on this side of the Pacific confounding hitters and even socking the odd dinger. Tonight, he did it again, hoodwinking Jose Fernandez into chasing this pitch way up in the zone. Fernandez was so charmed by Maeda’s pitch that he couldn’t keep from laughing all the way into the…
Clayton Kershaw made Giancarlo Stanton swing and miss with a nasty little curve in the fourth inning to get his seventh strikeout of the evening. Two innings later, Stanton faced Kershaw again and smacked a fastball to the moon so hard that the Dodgers ace fell to his knees on the mound.
Marlins second baseman Dee Gordon was an absolute pest to Mets reliever Jim Henderson in Tuesday’s game. Gordon milked his eighth-inning at-bat for 16 pitches before he lifted a single into shallow left field.
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball.
Yesterday, Florida radio host Craig Mish tweeted something that would have been literally unbelievable had it not involved Barry Bonds.
Let’s all go back to 1992, when The Simpsons’ “Homer At The Bat” first aired. Mr. Burns recruits a bunch of ballplayers as ringers for his softball team, including Don Mattingly. Here’s a very good, long piece on the episode, and how it got made.
Barry Bonds—an alien god who destroyed space-time—is the new Miami Marlins hitting coach, which is a pretty interesting development.
Tommy Hutton, the former major leaguer who has been the Marlins TV analyst since 1997, was kicked to the curb today, according to Barry Jackson of the Miami Herald. Jackson, who called Hutton “the best TV analyst in South Florida,” reports that according to Hutton, the Marlins gave him no reason for not renewing his…