Woman Alleges Permanent Neck Injury Due To Marlins' Shark Attack

A lawsuit filed last month in Miami-Dade County court alleges a woman suffered serious and permanent injuries after being attacked by a fake shark during a 2013 Miami Marlins game. The Marlins, like most shitty (and a few good) teams, hold a mascot race between innings in a futile attempt to distract fans from the… » 7/03/15 9:57am Today 9:57am

Giancarlo Stanton Reportedly Has Broken Bone In Hand; Everything Sucks

Giancarlo Stanton has been crushing baseballs all season long, smacking out an MLB-leading 27 homers and driving in an MLB-leading 67 runs. So you can understand everyone’s trepidation when he announced some sort of hand injury suffered during yesterday’s game against the Dodgers. And it looks like a bad one. » 6/27/15 9:47am 6/27/15 9:47am

Cubs' And Marlins' Benches Clear, And Everyone Immediately Apologizes 

There were no punches thrown in the sixth-inning scrum during last night’s 7-3 Marlins win, and both sides quickly headed back to their own dugouts. In fact, it might have been one of the politest bench-clearings of all time, as the main instigator, Cubs outfielder Junior Lake, apologized unreservedly afterward. Heck,… » 6/04/15 8:50am 6/04/15 8:50am

Marlins Event Charges $100 To Hang Out With Players, Who Never Show

Here’s an ad featuring Marlins first baseman Michael Morse promoting the “Fish ‘N Chips Casino Party,” where “me and my teammates” will join anyone who puts up $100 to support the Marlins Foundation for a night of dancing, gambling, and entertainment. One problem: the event was held Thursday, and none of the players… » 5/23/15 10:43am 5/23/15 10:43am

Giancarlo Stanton Ruining Baseballs Almost Makes Up For Jeffrey Loria

Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanton even gave a… » 5/20/15 11:14am 5/20/15 11:14am

Jarrod Saltalamacchia Is Having The Worst Month

Jarrod Saltalamacchia’s second season with the Marlins has been cut short. After managing a .182 on-base percentage in 33 plate appearances this April, the catcher lost his starting job to rookie J.L. Realmuto, went on the paternity list as his wife delivered a kid, and was designated for assignment when he came back… » 4/27/15 4:10pm 4/27/15 4:10pm