Alabama made Tebow cry and even though Florida was obviously overrated all season (should Percy Harvin get a retroactive Heisman?), the Crimson Tide are clearly the nation's best team. However, there are four other undefeated teams, each with a valid claim to the number one contender slot. Naturally, it will go to Texas ... uncontested. Not because they would theoretically beat any of those other three teams, but because they actually beat 9-3 Nebraska. By one. On a neutral field. After being saved by a replay, because they don't understand how to tell time.

To the BCS, of course, this is vindication. They put the No. 1 and No. 2 teams in the championship game! What more do you cretins want? As if there was no possible dispute about who No. 1 and No. 2 should be. (That's the beauty of circular logic.) How can people actually defend a sport where three teams can win every single one of their games—including a team from one of the "power" conferences that actually created the BCS—yet have zero opportunity to win their sport's championship. I still don't see the answer to that question here. Just some nonsense about retired folk who can't afford playoff tickets. Don't you see? They're doing it for you, Mr. Blue Collar Worker! Rich people are so generous, not making you spend your money like that!

Could TCU beat Texas? Could Cincinnati even stay on the field with Alabama? Maybe, maybe not. But I'd sure like to find out, wouldn't you?

Some eyes don't see Texas as clear choice for BCS title game [Denton Record Chronicle]
BCS gets its way with last-second Texas win [SF Chronicle]
Opinion: Bowl Championship Series just makes everybody mad [Ann Arbor]
Boise State, TCU matchup in Fiesta Bowl feels like cop-out [SI.com]

* * * * *

Here are some other big winners, who did not win quite as big.

New Orleans: Whoo boy. That's not dodging a bullet. That was divine intervention. Do you know what "divine intervention" is? God came down from Heaven and stopped those bullets. We just witnessed a miracle and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!

Bruce MF'n Gradkowski: Get on the G-Train! It's always on time! [SF Chronicle]

North Carolina Women's Soccer: Maybe that sport could use a BCS, so that someone else could win the title for a change. [ESPN]

Michael Vick: So .... we're cool now, right? [Atlanta Journal Constitution, USAToday]

The godless, suffering people of Philippines: Not only do they get free SEC Championship shirts, but you-know-who just might be coming down their chimney this Christmas! (After he builds them a chimney, of course.) [Florida Alligator]

And the Weekend Loser? Greg Oden. That poor, poor bastard.

•Bosh won a suit against a cybersquatter, and gained control of 800 domain names. On a related note, welcome to Boshspin.

•Our top story this morning: In a preseason loss to the Celtics, Chris Bosh led all scorers with 21 points in just 28 minutes. He also added four boards and three assists, and is clearly primed for an MVP-caliber season.

•In non-Chris Bosh news, Michael Vick reportedly declined an invitation to visit with eight of his former pit bulls. Good move. I know a trap when I see one.

•Stafon Johnson appeared healthy and smiling, but didn't speak at a press conference yesterday. He's a walking metaphor for the Trojans: looks good, but falls silent under the spotlight.

•On the eve of the NLCS, Dodgers owner Frank McCourt is separating from his wife. California is a community state, so the former Mrs. McCourt is entitled to exactly half. She will receive two losses to the Phillies.

•Boise State squeaked past Tulsa, probably the team with the best chance at ending the Broncos' undefeated season. And when you read that, you realize just how relative it is and why the BCS is a joke.

•Well, fuck it, if he can't heal himself, how can he be the Chosen One? LeBron has the flu, and he and the team is being tested for H1N1.

•Want to know how the young season is going for the Maple Leafs? Their defensemen are headbutting in own goals:

•Rodney Harrison answers T.O.'s "you took steroids" with "at least I won a championship." Guys, guys, let's not fight. Can't we all agree that Harrison was on a championship team because he took steroids?

•A judge refused to dismiss the lawsuit against Ben Roethlisberger, probably because, like us, he's enjoying the assorted insane details about the plaintiff that seem to emerge fortnightly.

•The good: the Phillies clinch the NL East, calling on Brad Lidge to finish the ninth. With two outs already on the board. And a seven run lead. Yup, this ship looks seaworthy heading into October.

•The bad: Jamie Moyer is done for the year after suffering three torn tendons. He's still under contract for next year for $8 million, but who could have seen this coming when they gave a 46-year-old a multi-year deal?

•Michael Vick signs an endorsement deal with Nike, shocking the country. Not because of the dog thing, we're over that. We're shocked because Vick has done fuck-all for his team, and looks to maintain that pace. (UPDATE: "Lies!" says Nike.)

•Stafon Johnson is resting after surgery, and even thanked fans for their support on his Twitter. Oh good, who needs intact vocal chords when you've got Twitter?

•Mats Sundin calls it a 20-year-career. Normally this is where I'd throw in a joke, but come on hockey fans, I wrote two posts for you tonight. Two! That should be enough for you this week.

•Front row seat? Check. Glove, even though you're too old for that? Check. Shit-eating grin? Check. Yes, the Happy Youngster caught another HR ball, this time off the bat of Prince Fielder.

•I will make this a meme if it kills me. Keeping the spirit alive, here's an acoustic cover of Colby Rasmus Fire Burning In The Outfield:

•What kind of Cinderella story ends on a Wednesday? Melanie Oudin's, apparently. But no worries. She lost to Caroline Wozniacki, who's cute and legal.

•In other Oudin news, did she look a little distracted last night? It might be because an affair between her tennis coach and her mother broke up her parents' marriage.

•For every tackle of Michael Vick, a Philadelphia animal rescue will donate 5 bags of dog food to a shelter in the opposing city. Perhaps not helping the cause of fighting animal cruelty, 5 bags of dog food exactly equals one losing racehorse.

•Derek Jeter ties Lou Gehrig atop the Yankee hit list at 2,721. Now all he needs is to get one more hit and/or live past 37.

•Swine flu decimates Ole Miss, sidelining 27 players. Initial suspicion has settled on coach Houston Nutt, known for spending time among Razorbacks.

•US Soccer pulls out a much needed win in World Cup qualifying. And if you deny that CONCACAF is trying to make the Yanks lose, how do you explain scheduling them against Trinidad AND Tobago?

•Like chicken wings? Not anymore you won't:

The Ohio State quarterback showed up for his first game of the year with Michael Vick's name written on his eye black. Then he proceeded to play like Marcus Vick, nearly crapping the bed against Navy at home. Brian Rolle saved the day with his intercepted two-point conversion, but unfortunately he couldn't save Pryor from a disastrous postgame interview where he tried to explain his face tribute to Philadelphia's backup quarterback. The quote in question:

"Not everybody's the perfect person in the world. I mean everyone kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me, whatever. I think that people need a second chance, and I've always looked up to Mike Vick, and I always will."

I would be so offended right now if I understood what the hell that meant. Everyone murders people? When did this happen? If Terrelle Pryor still looks up to his childhood hero, that's fine, but maybe college football players should not be allowed to make any kind of strong statement about the nature of our society. Sort of like how political science majors shouldn't be allowed to lecture me about fascism. I know the manager at your Starbucks is a jerk, but that doesn't mean he's part of the military-industrial-narco syndicate that really runs the Department of Homeland Security.

In other words: Shut up, college boy.

THAT'S AN INTERESTING QUOTE TERRELLE PRYOR [The World of Isaac]
Terrelle Pryor Might Have Started the Apocalypse [WaitingForNextYear]

•Michael Vick will be eligible to play as early as week three. So that means Donovan McNabb only has to hold off a few weeks on getting injured. CAN HE DO IT? It's the plotline of the year, as far as I'm concerned.

•Pedro Martinez: "Leave Mr. Lincecum to me. *Laughs evilly* " Martinez, who hasn't won a Cy Young in nine years, outduels Tim Lincecum, who hasn't won a Cy Young in eight months.

•What's it like fasting for Ramadan when you're a pro tennis player? Pretty much what you'd expect: hard. But c'mon. Sneak a Powerbar. Queens is the land God forgot.

•Jon Garland is masterful against his former team. Not a surprise; statistically, it's much easier to pitch against the Diamondbacks than it is to pitch against any non-Diamondback teams.

•Carl Edwards fractured his foot, but he still expects to race on Sunday? Not a sport.

•Because I'm a proud(?) alum, Temple manages to lose to Villanova, who hadn't beat a D1 team in six years, since they beat...Temple. And the inaugural Mayor's Cup goes to a school that isn't even in the same city.

•Punter over at With Leather dug up this gem of a video. Don't skip around, just watch from beginning to end. The tension is exquisite.

Our hero completed all four of his very short passes last night. (Plus 1 yard rushing! Dynamic!) And his fans would really have loved to show their full support last night, but you know ... the damn Post Office. Maybe some kind of snafu back at the factory. It didn't help that he signed late, either. But customer service swears we'll have the new shirts in hand before the home opener.

Unless that tropical storm hits landfall....

[Photo via AP]

* * * * *

It's Friday. We did it, everyone.

•It's pretty much unanimous: everyone hates Liberty National, the golf course built over a toxic industrial site in Jersey City. Well, what do they expect? Nicky Santoro is buried under the 15th green.

•So, which is worse, a clubhouse cancer like T.O. or your number one receiver being Patrick Crayton? That's life for the Cowboys for a while, after Roy Williams goes down with a shoulder injury.

•John Elway to tie the knot tomorrow with former a former Raiderette. Hope he had his fun, because once she says "I do," she won't let him near her black hole ever again.

•Your Little League World Series final four: California, Georgia Texas, Mexico and Taiwan. The semis are tomorrow, and finals on Sunday. So, no need to leave the house to get your crying children fix this weekend.

•Mike Vick lines up in the slot, in the shotgun and behind center - and only one of his six plays goes for a decent gain. Yup, he'll fit in just fine as an Eagles QB.

•Yes, it's come to this: extreme pogo jumping. Not nearly as hardcore as extreme jump rope, which I believe involves barbed wire.

•Don't act like you wouldn't pay to see this. From "Dr. Coolsex," the live action Mario Kart movie:

•The woman claiming she was assaulted by Ben Roethlisberger drafted an e-mail from Harrah's announcing her resignation: "She is with Big Bens child and ... she has relocated to Pittsburgh. We wish her good luck [she will need it] in her future endeavors." Ben better hope crazy isn't a sexually transmitted disease.

•Allen Iverson Twittered that Memphis has made him an offer, and the Grizzlies confirmed it. We're one step closer to my dream of an AI/Marko Jaric reality show.

•According to McAfee, the Internet searches most likely to give your computer a virus are Jessica Biel, Beyoncé, Jennifer Aniston and...Tom Brady! Obviously the safest athlete to search for is A.C. Green.

•After a federal ruling, the list of MLB players who tested positive for PEDs could be destroyed. So you can stop sending in those fake lists that have been circulating. Seriously, Ruben Sierra? Yeah, that's believable.

•Rumors fly that Michael Vick is purchasing a $1.3 million home in Philadelphia. We remind you that his contract is only for $1.6 million. Math fail could explain why he's facing a bankruptcy hearing.

•We heard about those Vikings who preferred Tarvaris Jackson at quarterback. Now comes the emergence of a third faction. First sacrificing goats, now men openly pushing for Sage Rosenfels at QB? It's official, these are signs of the apocalypse.

•Hours after talking about feeling "hatred" from Cubs fans, Milton Bradley drives in three and hears nothing but cheers. Hey, there's a novel solution: stop sucking.

•And, courtesy of Second-String Fullback, comes Alex Smith KTFOing Greg Ellis. Way to risk your body to be a benchwarmer, Alex.

•A Stanford booster built coach Jim Harbaugh a private bathroom that cost between $50,000 and $70,000. Despite the university being in the midst of budget cuts, it's a wise investment: it'll keep Harbaugh from shitting the bed, like he did so many times in his playing career.

•This week's Sports Illustrated promises fans it will be "100% Favre-Free." Translation: he signed with the Vikes right before deadline, and we didn't feel like rewriting our NFL previews.

•Your toothless lede: "Animal rights groups and the Philadelphia Eagles are looking at ways they can join forces to combat dogfighting." A humble suggestion: don't pay convicted ringleaders of dogfighting rings millions of dollars.

•The Dodgers came to Colorado, and got beaten by the best team in the NL West. Two-game deficit be damned, the rolling Rockies have two-straight walk-off wins, all the momentum, and for some reason, Jason Giambi.

•What we've all been waiting for: the WWE is planning to launch their own TV network. Now the long-past-their-prime wrestlers like Shawn Michaels, the Undertaker and Tommy Dreamer will live on forever in classic matches, instead of dragging on forever on the damn PPVs.

•Seahawks sign old and crappy Edgerrin James. This will not remove the stink of past running back options young and crappy Maurice Morris, or old and crappy Shaun Alexander.

•And let's all laugh at Serena Williams as she tries and fails to win the carnival "hammer game:"

A brief summary, for those of you not up on your Pro Football Talk: A couple weeks ago, the New York Post spotted Vick nursing a Grey Goose and pineapple shortly after his first workout with the Eagles. Mike Florio pounced, noting that the terms of Vick's reinstatement prohibit the use of drugs and alcohol. This occasioned the Eagles' response yesterday in which they denied that Vick had violated his probation. No matter. People tsk-tsked anyway. "Michael, you can't do that," his mentor, Tony Dungy, told him. And here came Florio, waving around the royal "we" like some sort of sceptre:

Still, at a time when Vick is expected to be "proactive" in his off-field pursuits, we think Vick is taking a huge risk by drinking any alcohol — especially since Eagles owner Jeff Lurie has made it clear that the decision to give Vick a second chance could potentially be reversed at any time.

I don't know what Vick's reinstatement has to do with drinking alcohol, much less fruity adult beverages. Nor do I know what risk a fruity adult beverage might pose, except to Vick's reputation in some quarters as a man perhaps not given to fruity adult beverages. But this is Roger Goodell's NFL. And the fact that this rose to the level of a story in the first place is testimony to Goodell's influence on the culture of the league. This is the same NFL that once upon a time gave us Bachelors III, Raider "Camaraderie," Peter Gent, Semi-Tough and Michael Irvin snorting the Medellin cartel off a stripper's tits, but now is so fully imbued with the infantilizing spirit of its commissioner that a lone vodka and pineapple is deemed, even by normally sensible outsiders, a "huge risk." It's a league of narcs now.

Has Vick already violated the terms of his reinstatement? [PFT]
Eagles respond to Grey Goose report [PFT]
Eagles respond to Vick alcohol report [Philadelphia Inquirer]

Both Favre and Michael Vick were added to Madden 10 yesterday. Vick is the fastest QB in the game, and his 73 overall rating puts him second on the depth chart in Philadelphia, as it probably should be.

Favre, meanwhile, instantly becomes the Viking's starter, with an 82 overall, while Sage Rosenfels and Tarvaris Jackson each come in at 69. Which is appropriate, considering they're just going to have to be sucking each other's dicks on the sideline while Favre hurls another interception.

Michael Rand of the Star Tribune had a little chat with EA's "Rating Czar" Donny Moore, and we learn that Favre does indeed possess some intangibles:

RB: I know you are locked into set rating categories, but if you had to go off the grid, what do you think his "Gunslinger" rating would be?

DM: He'd still have that. I'd call that … it's more of a tendency. Favre would probably be 99. I don't know a better gunslinger in the league.

RB: How about his "Looks like a kid just having fun out there" rating?

DM: Oh, man. Or his attention-getting rating. That would be off the chart, 100.

In a neat addition this year, player ratings will change with the weekly roster updates. So look for his "giving a shit" rating to crater sometime in November.

Madden "Rating Czar" Breaks Down Special Categories For Favre [Star Tribune]

Even the Lions and Bengals are also trying to capitalize on this sick trend. Dog leashes, jerseys, water dishes. Every team in the NFL is selling pet accessories, many of which can be personalized to include Favre's name and number (or anyone other gruesome football thugs that make you sick.) It's just gross. Don't they realize that if everyone sees little Bowser in a Vikings #4 onesie—or worse, a Cowboys shirt—that all the other dogs at the park run will hate him? Why would you put a poor defenseless animal through that?

It's true that these disgusting products pre-dated the return of Brett Favre and that any product that's available to one team can be made available to all of them (just like those equally offensive Alyssa Milano baseball tank tops) but I still think it's despicable. The NFL should burn all these products in a giant bonfire before I become more offended. Shame on you, NFL Shop. People who hate Brett Favre fans deserve better.

Want to buy a customized Michael Vick Eagles jersey for your dog? NFL says okay ... for $39.99 [NY Daily News]
NFL Madness - #7 Michael Vick Dog Jersey [Bob's Blitz]
Doggie dress-up [Philadelphia Daily News]
Not cool guys [German Village Media]