The New Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Movie Fails In Every Possible Way

It's not enough to say that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot is kind of a lousy movie. You want to be able to draw some kind of lesson from its crapness, or at least pick through the debris for some hint of what it could have been. To that end, here are all the ways that TMNT 2014 fails. » 8/08/14 2:05pm 8/08/14 2:05pm

Auto-Chaotic. Transformers: Age of Extinction, Reviewed.

Age of Extinction is the best of the Transformers movies. That's not saying much: The other films in the series were all pretty bad, and this one is no good, either. But for an hour or so, director Michael Bay does what he does as well as he's done it for quite some time. Perpetually juvenile he may be, but god bless… » 6/27/14 10:16am 6/27/14 10:16am

This Trailer Has Me So Fucking Amped To See Some Jiu-Jitsu

I'm not going to lie: the Metamoris 3 event in Los Angeles this weekend wasn't really on my radar, but then this jiu-jitsu-as-Avengers-spinoff trailer came across my Twitter timeline, and now I'm fucking pumped up to see some guys jiu-jitsuing. This really has it all: bombastic music, overhead shots of Los Angeles,… » 3/26/14 3:28pm 3/26/14 3:28pm

Michael Bay's Ode To Meatheads: Pain & Gain, Reviewed.

There are many movies that could have been made from the raw materials of Pain & Gain, which is based on a series of outrageous Miami New Times articles about three dimwit Florida bodybuilders who in 1994 kidnapped a rich local businessman and stripped him of all his assets. Some filmmakers, for example, might have… » 4/24/13 5:30pm 4/24/13 5:30pm