Sorry for making your naughty bits shrivel up with repulsion just now. But let me draw your attention to a dating column on College Humor. One hapless reader writes in with his tale of woe:

A while back me and my GF were having sex. I put on my iPod for some mood music, but instead of putting on a playlist I just hit shuffle. Twenty minutes into our love making session, the music ended and a podcast I had downloaded of PTI (Pardon the Interruption) from ESPN came on. Neither of us wanted to stop to change it, so we finished to the soothing voices of Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon. I no longer listen to PTI.
-Anonymous

Good god, man. That can't be healthy for you, as you'll never be able to do the deed again without thinking of Tony and Michael debating Tim Tebow's NFL potential. And I hoped you used protection; any kid conceived under those circumstances has no choice in life but to become Stat Boy.

Dating, It's Complicated [College Humor]

Given some of Wilbon's extracurricular activities over the summer, this is just not as surprising as it probably should be. Mrs. Wilbon is a lucky, lucky woman.

Wilbon:"Threesomes Keep It Interesting" [Awful Announcing]

Not that you should trust a porn star more than Wilbon, but his account differs somewhat from Christian the porn star's.

Herndon, Va.: Mr. Mike: On the good Mr. Kurtz's chat, someone was taking the Post to task for you "posing for pictures with a porn star" while covering the NBA finals. Did this actually happen? If so, who? Kurtz's only comment "I'm jealous."

Michael Wilbon: Ha...Anybody who would say that without knowing details is an idiot...And I thank my colleague Mr. Kurtz. So, here's the story. I'm at a club on the off-night of the series, in Hollywood...A young woman comes up, says she's a huge fan of PTI and watches the show every day because her boyfriend got her started watching it years ago. She says her name and asks, "I'd love a picture with you if it's okay." Of course, I say yes, just like I do 99 percent of the time (I don't recall ever saying no, unless I'm in an airport running for a flight or at a restaurant)...A guy comes over, introduces himself and says, "I don't think you know who she is, do you?" I say I have no clue, should I? And he tells me she and her friends are all adult film stars. I laugh out loud. He's an adult film director, he says, and has his own blog. I knew right then, with Jon Barry laughing in my ear, that the photos would be on a blog...And so what? What would the idiot who asked the question in the chat have me do, run up and threaten to smack her if she didn't give me the camera? People really are overly dramatic self-important idiots. Should I carry around a form for people to sign before I take a photo in a stadium or on the street after they tell me the appreciate what I do and would like a photo...I'm sure I've taken pictures, unknowingly, with people a lot seedier...People need to get a life.

Pictures with people a lot seedier? Ain't that the truth!

Michael Wilbon Chat [Washingtonpost.com]

Yesterday's post featuring Michael Wilbon enjoying the alluring top shelf of Girl Next Door Kendra and L.A. Times' J.A. Adande workin' it with some women(?) who earn a livin' doing dirty things on camera, gave PTI co-host Tony Kornheiser much to work with during yesterday's show.

It's nice to know that some people aren't above being self-deprecating and do not feel it necessary to be humorless angry rhinos all the time. Cheers to you, PTI crew, and especially to Awful Announcing for being the best at what he does.

Now, J.A. Adande, we still have some questions for you...

The PTI Guys Have A Little Fun With Wilbon's Night Out [Awful Announcing]
J.A. Adande: Journalism's Master of Landing Tail? [Busted Coverage]

The above photo of PTI-er and blog despiser Michael Wilbon and Girl Next Door Kendra was taken last night at a post-Lakers after party by p*rn star and blogger, Christian, from HIS personal blog Christian Sings The Blues (NSFW), which he describes as "My Strange Life Within the Adult Film Business: Experiences, Thoughts, and Comments on My Daily Activities". Fun. Last night, he apparently had a great time celebrating the Lakers victory with some of his friends at Hollywood's club Les Deux.

And, hey...a few familiar chaps showed up to join in the revelry!

Here's how Christian described the scene

After about an hour or so, I noticed some familiar faces standing close to our table, but they were getting bumped and jostled in the throng of clubgoers. So of course since it was not my table, nor did I pay a single cent for the alcohol there, I invited them in to join us! lol. It was Jon Barry, an ex-NBA player turned analyst, Michael Wilbon, host of the popular show on ESPN "Pardon the Interruption" and J.A. Adande, ESPN.com and LA Times sports writer. (By the way, I am calling you out Bill Simmons....quit avoiding me, you are going to be in a pic with me in this blog by Dec 31....it's not a choice! so stop stalling)

Yes, Bill. Stop stalling. Don't these guys look like they're having fun?

That's J.A. Adande and his new, uh, buddy, Lisa Lipps.

And Wilbon looooves him some Carly Parker.

Living The Good Life In LA...Don't Be Jealous! [Christian Sings The Blues]

Much has been made about Wilbon's comments about blogging, but we think that's more a generational thing than anything else. It's funny, because Wilbon has an even-higher network profile on ABC's NBA coverage than pal Tony Kornheiser has on "Monday Night Football," but that's never thought of as some sort of breakthrough they way Kornheiser's stint is. Probably because Wilbon's better at it.

Anyway: Do you like the Michael Wilbon? Do you not like the Michael Wilbon? Let us know.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

That is to say: It appears that younger staffers are on hand to help the "old" folk along with their talking points.

Wilbon also brought out a lot of the usual criticisms of blogs — no editing, no standards, no accountability, but at that point a couple of (younger) ESPN staffers sitting with him interrupted to point out that he was painting blogs with too wide a brush. At that point, Wilbon mentioned Deadspin and The Big Lead, and he seemed to realize that those blogs are higher in quality than the ones he dismisses as lacking in standards.

We love this idea: All ESPN staffers being followed around by kids whispering buzzwords like "HTML" and "hyperlink" into their ears, causing them to perk up and be, "Yeah! Uh ... some blogs are good! HTML! Hyperlinks!"

Just don't give that "Cold Pizza" crew female assistants, and all should be fine.

ESPN's Michael Wilbon Explains His Feelings Toward Blogs: 'I'm Old' [The Fanhouse]

That is to say: When his death appears — for now, anyway — to have nothing to do with any of his off-field troubles, why does everyone feel compelled to keep bringing them up, as if this was somehow an inevitable result?

Why, when a man is on what turns out to be his death-bed, is it necessary to highlight negativities in his life? Without knowing all of the facts surrounding his death, mentioning those moments of indiscretion in an effort to cast a shadow on a dying man's character is completely without class.

Perhaps it will turn out that Taylor's off-field troubles led to this ... but it's unlikely, and there's certainly no evidence to suggest that so far. Other than the fact that he kept a machete next to his bed, that is. When one dies at 24, we suppose it's difficult to find items to fill up an obit, whether they're relevant to the situation at night. Yet another layer to the whole tragedy.

Media To Sean Taylor: You Had It Coming [The Naughty American]
Dying Young, Black [Washington Post]

Back on December 17, 1985, Michael Wilbon was pulled over for driving with expired tags. It was a 30 dollar fine ... and he hasn't paid it yet! And they've cited him for failure to appear! Good Lord, man, why isn't someone out there busting this man? The case is still open.

Seriously, we find it kind of amusing that any state would keep open an expired tags case for 22 years. It makes us worry about some of those checks we bounced back in college.

Whenever Mike Wilbon or Tony Kornheiser utters the statement "Your Boy," take a swig of beer.
When a dirty old man homily or anecdote is uttered by TK, take a swig. When Wilbon says a dirty old man homily or anecdote, take a shot.
If there is a guest host subbing in, take a shot.
Every time either man says "Sawx" in that weird ass way swig.

There's a bunch more, even an "Around the Horn" drinking game. Our favorite observation, however, is that Bill Simmons looks vaguely like Mark Linn-Baker from "Perfect Strangers." Other than the hair, he kind of does.

ESPN Drinking Games [Deadly Hippos]

First, a look at his HITS:

• "Pardon The Interruption." You can hate this show for what it spawned — and we'll get into that a little later today — but the combination of Kornheiser and Wilbon continues to enlighten and amuse. Imagine if it had been Kornheiser and Mike Lupica, as it has been rumored was the original combination. (We've often wondered if Lupica, once the golden boy of those middle-aged sportswriters, looks around at the TV success of Kornheiser, Albom, Feinstein, et al, and dreams of stabbing them in their sleep.)
• "Monday Night Football" on ESPN. We're all terrified of Joe Theismann as the NFL's flagship analyst, and on the whole it will be strange that you'll have to pay for cable to watch MNF. But it was an aggressive move that ensures the network will remain at the forefront of televised sports for years to come.
• "Playmakers" and "3". The other original movies and shows were clunkers, but despite the NFL's protests, "Playmakers" scored big ratings, and pretty much everyone we know back in Southern Illinois owns "3" on DVD.
• Dropping the NHL. The extended labor woes for the league lowered the value of any possible deal to the point that an obscure cable network specializing in fishing shows and "Survivor" reruns was able to scoop him the remnants. You could make an argument that the Outdoor Life Network could use the NHL to build a challenge to ESPN's supremacy ... but we're not even sure NHL commish Gary Bettman could say that with a straight face.

Have any thoughts on Shapiro's hits or misses of your own? Let us know at tips@deadspin.com.

The Doc Is Not In [NY Post] (second item)

(Later today: The Misses)