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Michel Platini, Facing Lengthy FIFA Ban, Will Boycott Ethics Hearing

Suspended UEFA president Michel Platini, along with suspended FIFA president Sepp Blatter, are almost certain to receive long bans from soccer’s governing body by early next week. This has been clear for a while, and is supported by recent reports from those inside the FIFA ethics committee in charge of the…

Sepp Blatter Says U.S. Was Supposed To Hold 2022 World Cup

Just when you think Sepp Blatter has revealed the full extent of his kooky theories and self-centered worldview, he opens his mouth again and wows you with even more crazy talk. In his newest interview, Blatter elucidates his belief that the entire FIFA scandal was a covert ploy by Michel Platini and, independently,…

This Cristiano Ronaldo Ballon D'Or Campaign Is Getting Really Gross

UEFA president Michel Platini made a pretty reasonable comment in Madrid earlier this week, saying in his opinion the Ballon d'Or should go to a German player after the country's success in the World Cup. The statement set off the Real Madrid spin machine though, and the team took matters into their own hands.