• # "I never realized remembering our anniversary was so important to my wife."

• "Visions of Brady Quinn dancing in my head. Sweet dreams Baby!!"

• "This economy has hit some of us harder than others"

• "When I signed on for this gig, they promised me a corner office, a couch, one of those Swedish "memory foam" pillows and an extra-extra-large Notre Dame fleece blanket. Well, as you can see, I'm still waiting."

Plucky. But this is the type of photo caption that requires a little more verve, some pizazz or, you know, tasteless profanity mixed with playful cruelty. Whatever makes you happy. Fire when ready.

******

Tomorrow: Page redesign comes stumbling out of the gate tomorrow (allegedly) so everyone will be very confused. Point and laugh (or, most likely, yell in the comments) about the new view. We'll work through it together. Oh, and Drew will be here to numb the pain.

Thank you for your continued support of Dongspin.

Yeatman, 20, and Golic, 18, were charged with being minors consuming alcohol, said Sgt. Al Taylor of the Indiana State Excise Police. Others arrested included members of the Notre Dame lacrosse and soccer teams, he said. The charge could be more serious for Yeatman, who was arrested in January on a charge of driving drunk on a campus sidewalk.

Police made the arrests after Notre Dame returned to South Bend following a 23-7 loss Saturday at Michigan State. St. Joseph County Police spokesman Sgt. Bill Redman said police were targeting businesses that reportedly had sold to minors when they received a report about the party. Those arrested were taken to the St. Joseph County Jail. Neither Yeatman nor Golic, whose father, Mike Golic, co-hosts "Mike & Mike in the Morning" remained in the jail Sunday evening.

Of course, Mike is furious over his son's irresponsible antics. He's probably still screaming at him; "I can't believe you were hanging out with soccer players!"

UPDATE: Gollic says on air "He'll learn from this...He'll talk about it more when he learns about the situation. "

Greenberg: "He's the type of kid everyone wants their kid to be like. He's a great kid."

Notre Dame’s Will Yeatman And Mike Golic Jr. Busted For Underage Drinking [You Been Blinded]
Brief Weis Statement On Yeatman, Golic Arrests [Chicago Tribune]
Irish Blitzed, during the game and after [Dr. Saturday]

Sometimes we wonder if in 25 years we'll have Godwin's Law for inappropriate comments about suicide bombers and/or Osama bin Laden. Bernstein — appropriately! — compared high school basketball stars to Palestinian suicide bombers. Makes sense!

"On the June 25th broadcast of the popular morning sports talk radio show "Mike and Mike", the hosts invited Bonnie Bernstein (also an ESPN reporter) to talk about how basketball players growing up through middle school and high school are programmed to not want to pursue a college career, because they are pursued by everyone and their parents to make millions of dollars instead.

At this point Bernstein decided to drill the point home, she then likened this situation to how Palestinian children are programmed to become suicide bombers, as this is the only life they ever know.

This interview took place around 8.15 AM CST. Mike Golic and Mike Greenberg did not comment and remained silent. Their silence may be interpreted by listeners, at best, as an indication of tolerance, or at worst, as an indication of agreement."

Why do we imagine Greenberg having the same face Mike Myers had when Kanye West made his George Bush comment? Of course, Kanye might have had a small point, and Mike Myers is Canadian. Whatever that means.

Anyway, Bernstein apologized rather quickly, though, oddly, she apologized for bringing politics into a sports discussion rather than for what she actually said. Oh well.

By the way, we enjoyed this angry post, which referred to her as "Dr. Bonnie Bernstein." That's awesome.

(Full disclosure: Bonnie Bernstein, oddly, came to our book party. She was very nice, and was not wearing a head scarf.)

The former "Cold Pizza" diva and current "ESPN First Take" Bayless wrangler apparently had a wee bit too much fun.

ESPN anchor Dana Jacobson made an absolute fool of herself, swilling vodka from a Belvedere bottle, mumbling along and cursing like a sailor as Mike & Mike rested their heads in their hands in embarrassment. [Comedian Eddie] Griffin came to the podium to defend her after she was booed by the crowd. Ross eventually had to pull her off stage, too.

We hear rumblings of a rather outstanding video that was taken of this, but we haven't seen it yet. (You know where to find us.)

All told, we've always enjoyed Jacobson — we think of her as, like, the youngest, coolest mom on our block growing up — and we like her even more now. We can think of no more appropriate reaction to being forced to attend a Mike And Mike Roast than swigging from a bottle of Belvedere, Jim Morrison-style, while jumping on stage and, essentially, committing career suicide. We'd do the exact same thing, had we been in that position. And we wouldn't have looked as perty.

Roast Of 'Mike & Mike' In Atlantic City Runs From Brilliant To Terrible [Press Of Atlantic City]

Yes, your favorite morning mismatched couple is going to be "roasted" by some of the most revolutionary comedic minds our rotating orb has to offer. They include:

Nick Bakay
Charlie Weis
Dick Vitale
Denis Leary
Frank Caliendo

OK, first off: Denis? Whaddya doin', man? Does "Rescue Me" need that much publicity? If there's a Golic joke that isn't about Roid Rage, we're going to be extremely disappointed.

Lame Jokes To Expect At The Mike & Mike Roast [The Sports Hernia]
The AJ Daulerio Roast [Deadspin]

Anyway, the marketing push has made it way to those relentless self-promoters at Mike And Mike In The Morning: Now there's a Mike Greenberg fathead. It seems redundant to ask why someone would want a picture of Mike Greenberg on their wall; obviously, no one would, and it's just a way for Fathead to get on national radio. We just don't understand how this company can possibly make money. We beckon Deadspin readers, one of you, any of you, who own a Fathead and take a picture of it and send it to us. Because we really don't think anybody owns one.

Um ... Why? [The Smittblog]

And, that will wrap it up for us on an interception by Leinart, of course. We are so glad we stayed up for this. What a great time, had by all.

Just to dig the spurs into our throat, a friend who's a Patriots fan just emailed us: "You are ... a glutton for punishment. This is how the Pats used to lose games before we were graced with Belichick and Brady.Your time will come. . . just not while you're alive."

Perfect way to finish it off: By being mocked by a Patriots fans. Good night, folks. We'll see you in ... christ, six hours? Jesus.

FOURTH QUARTER

:16: Matt Leinart lives for spots like this. Totally.

:22: Arnaz Battle takes a reverse into the endzone. Told you. grumblegrumblegrumblegrumble San Francisco 20, Arizona 17.

:26:. Jesus Christ. The 49ers have it on the two yard line. With no timeouts. Eric Green somehow missed picking up a fumble that would have won it. We'll remember that when we lose this, you sumbitch.

:32: It'll be third-and-15 for Smith and the Niners, on the Buzzsaw 25, with 30 seconds left. No way the Buzzsaw wins this.

:53: After a sideline pass stays inbounds, there's a false start penalty on the Niners. And they run 10 seconds off the clock, to :43. Yipes!

1:23: Smith scrambles — as opposed to Leinart, who shambles — for about 25 yards, and suddenly, this shit is serious.

1:37: Alex Smith just threw a perfect pass to Darrell Jackson in the end zone ... and if falls JUST through his arms. Whew.

1:45: We're too stressed to type right now, so we're just gonna quote a reader: "I'm confused. If there are no offensive standouts in MNF II, who gets their picture on the side of the "My Little Pony" trailer hitched to Greenberg's Honda Element?" Good question!

1:52: Greenberg brings up Bill Walsh. If Bill Walsh were alive to see this offensive display, he'd roll over in his grave.

2:00: And here comes San Francisco. They're at the 50 as we go to the two minute warning. How can a game this dull make us this tense? Football hurts sometimes.

2:15: The 49ers, not surprisingly, have learned how to drive. If they come back and win this, we're never watching the Buzzsaw on MNF again. Not that they'll be invited back.

2:58: Ha. Of course. Hand off to James, he's short. Here comes the punt. We understand playing conservative ... but come on, you're on the road. Lucky to be here. The 49ers will have one time out left. We dunno: We might have tried for the first down there. We'll see. Punt goes to the 15 yard line. Have faith in Alex Smith, Niners fans?

3:13: Third down play for the Buzzsaw, third and 10. Looks like Leinart's gonna have to pass. They call a time out to relax themselves. Geronimo!

4:20 (Dude): Larry Fitzgerald catches a slant pass that's almost intercepted by Walt Harris. He sneaks past the first down marker. One more first down will make it extremely difficult, and two will finish it off. We shall see. By the way, they're having a ton of trouble with the play clock. The refs are as on their games as the players.

5:20: Edgerrin James gets nothing on first down. Clock ... go clock! We have zero faith the Buzzsaw will win this game.

5:45: 49ers. Three and out. That's three in a row? Four? We feel extremely stupid for having picked that team to win this division.

6:25: Someone just congratulated us on the Buzzsaw taking the lead. We'd say they more "fell backwards and landed on the lead," but, you know, we'll take it.

6:40: We're happy the Buzzsaw has the lead, obviously, but we have to confess: If you were watching two people play a game of Madden like this, you could never talk to them again. Actually, this is like watching two dogs play Madden. Little, floofy dogs.

6:40: On a play action, Leinart hits Boldin across the middle, and that, friends, was an actual scoring play. Rackers drills the extra point, and heavens to betsy, the Buzzsaw are ahead. Arizona 17, San Francisco 13.

7:05: Nothing more exciting than a Matt Leinart scramble! On a third-and-two, he runs for 25 yards. Slowly. And then the 49ers get a taunting penalty. When's a better time to taunt than when you've just let Matt Leinart run for 25 yards?

8:15: Leinart has figured out how to gain yards: Convince Bryant Young to grab his facemask. Fifteen yards, Buzzsaw now on the 35. If they keep giving the ball to James, he'll be dead by Week 6. Like every fan watching this game.

9:22: The Buzzsaw is not even bothering to pretend to pass at this point. If Kurt Warner were playing right now, he'd be asleep.

9:45: Leinart dives for a first down on third and 1. In college, our friends who didn't like football called that "the big pile of men play."

11:09: It just occurred to use that the "Monday Night Football" graphic features a robotic blimp. Never seen one of those before.

11:30: Make that 105 total yards. Another sack. 49ers four and out. Cut and paste.

12:21: As Greenberg just pointed out, San Francisco has 110 total yards. And they're winning. Why didn't this game get the A team again?

13:16: Almost every pass Leinart throws ends up with half the players on both teams ending up on the ground. That can't be good.

14:09: FLEA FLICKER! God we fucking love the flea flicker. It goes incompletely, of course. And Golic is right: Fitzgerald was wide open.

14:45: Edgerrin James catches an out pass and takes it across midfield for a first down. We love that Coach Wisenhunt covers his mouth when calling plays. Hey, Coach: You're not in Pittsburgh. Nobody cares what calls Arizona calls.

THIRD QUARTER

:00: Greenberg just called this a "battle." That's one way to put it. We're probably just being cranky. To the fourth! San Francisco 13, Arizona 10.

:14: Does each team have 14 defensive backs? This must have been what Pop Warner games with Cornell have looked like.

:45: Hey, Jane Wyman died It was not during this game.

1:48: 49ers go three and out. We're just cutting and pasting now.

2:54: We hope nobody stayed up and watched this game for fantasy purposes. Here's a tip, real fast, so you can go back to bed: None of your guys are doing anything.

3:09: Ditka says the last pass Leinart threw — in which the Niners' DB could have called a fair catch, though he still dropped it — was not his fault and was actually because of illegal contact downfield that wasn't called. This is why watching games on TV is more fun; we can disagree loudly and have no idea what we're talking about. Buzzsaw punt.

4:15: You know, if this day weren't bad enough — Buzzsaw losing and looking offensively impotent, the Cardinals losing their fourth in a row, and, you know, Britney — now we learn that the Illini basketball team sucks too. At least they'll be on the Big Ten Network and we won't have to watch them. First down, Buzzsaw, though.

5:25: We make fun of Mike and Mike from time to time, but we have to sympathize: This has to be the worst game anyone would possibly broadcast. We're not good at math, but there has to have been more penalties than completed passes in this game.

6:35: Another impressive Buzzsaw passrush almost forces Alex Smith into an interception. It's 12:30 at night, by the way. At 5 a.m., the United States is playing North Korea in the women's soccer World Cup. We hope they don't mind a late start as they wait for this game to finish.

8:02: The 49ers complete a pass! It's a first down into Buzzsaw territory. At this rate, they should make it to the 20 by around 3 a.m.

9:08: Leinart shotputs a pass into double coverage and somehow isn't intercepted. This is worse, so far, than any offensive performance the Buzzsaw put on last year. We're so happy this is the lone national television game.

10:30: Leinart hits Boldin on a four-yard slant pass. That might have been the third longest pass of the game. The camera catches Mike Singletary, a 49ers assistant. Every time someone every brings up Singletary possibly being a head coach someday, someone mentions "being a coach isn't just Xs and Os." Is really that bad at Xs and Os? Can he not read or something? Seems like a smart enough guy to us.

11:09: OK, let's see if the Buzzsaw can gain more yards than penalties. Time to aim high.

11:20: Gore drops a pass that might have led him into the endzone ... but it goes right through his hand. It's Nedney time, and he hammers it. The three-plus minutes of this second half have taken days. San Francisco 13, Arizona 10.

11:23: And Smith celebrates his new opportunity by having to call a timeout before the playclock runs out. Let's say we doubt the Seahawks are particularly terrified right now.

12:21: Let's track: Buzzsaw second half yards: -8. Penalties? 5. Gore is stuffed on two runs. It's all in the hands of Alex Smith!

12:45: We have a bad, bad feeling about this second half; the Niners are already pounding it downfield. And then ... a late hit on a pass Alex Smith threw 40 yards over everybody's head. Buzzsaw!

13:48: And a minus-eight yard drive to start the half. Must have been an inspiring speech.

14:08: The Buzzsaw coaching staff said they weren't going to overwork Edgerrin James this year. They weren't kidding. We've seen FAR too much J.J. Arrington tonight. It's third and 428. (They have that many yards on the West Coast. They're laid back that way.)

14:43: And ... another penalty. Say what you will about the new coaching staff, but they really do know how to make halftime adjustments.

14:55: OK! We're back! And the comments are working aw ell. Thank you tech staff! The Buzzsaw are at first and 20 from their own 10 to start. And Leinart almost throws an interception. Wee!

Prehalf: OK, now you're not seeing this post at all. We really shouldn't have made that joke about the tech people raving and working two hours a day. They are smart, and handsome, and deserve to be paid far more than they are paid.

SECOND QUARTER

OK, that's gonna wrap up the first half; an offensive FIRESTORM! To reward you for sticking this far, we give you:

We're gonna go apologize to the tech people now.

:42: Gotta love that sweep to J.J. Arrington on third down. Total back of the future. Buzzsaw punting.

:53: Third down for the Buzzsaw. We know Arizona isn't throwing it deep, but honestly, we'll take this over Denny Green's "Look, just run down there and look up!" offense.

1:45: We really wish Leinart would stop running.

1:56: Berman's doing the halftime highlights? No way he's up this late. This footage must have been filmed in 1983.

2:00: We just don't feel good anytime the Buzzsaw has the ball on third down in their own territory on the road. In fact, we feel miserable. Fortunately, the 49ers get nailed with illegal contact, and it's first down Buzzsaw. Nolan's tie is so much better than anyone's in the booth, by the way. Two minute warning.

3:46: Smith throws an incomplete pass on third-and-nine — and almost took out the goalpost in the process — and Joe Nedney, who has been in the NFL forever, "splits" "the" "uprights" and we are tied. Arizona 10, San Francisco 10.

5:15: Just heard back from a tech person: "Sorry, we only work two hours a day and are out raving right now." We ABSOLUTELY deserved that.

5:45: On a third down, Smith goes back and ... zips straight through for the first down. Leinart would have stopped to have a drink and pinch an ass first.

Ditka just called Adrian Wilson "infetuous." Not sure what that means.

6:20: Excellent point from a reader: "We have decided that Mike Nolan in the suit looks like CTU's Bill Buchanan. Which would explain that new Niners fullback named Bauer wearing 24." That's fantastic, even if it reeks of Simmons.

6:20: The 49ers get a questionable pass interference penalty and are driving again. Alex Smith looks slightly more comfortable on the run than Leinart, and he also throws with the correct hand.

7:36: Actual response to a question about whether or not a tech person could fix the comment problem: "Oh, everybody's long asleep." Nice.

8:30: Time for everybody to note that Mike Nolan is wearing a suit, and looks nice. We're traditionalist this way: He should be wearing a felt cap.

9:10: And look out, it's Edgerrin James ... touchdown! He knows what to do when he hits a hole! And Russ Grimm will slap the offensive line on the behind! It's a party in Glendale, wherever that is. Arizona 10, San Francisco 7.

9:45: Wait, the 49ers only have 37 total yards? The Buzzsaw has this on this drive. Let's see how Leinart handles this new found prosperity ... it's Leonard Pope! He catches passes AND rails against birth control!

11:36: It's a Buzzsaw fumble! The Buzzsaw seems to have something resembling a pass rush. We are confused by this new development.

11:45: Wait, we're just now introducing the 49ers' offense? We're in the second quarter. Wake up!

12:55: We have no idea why the site isn't posting comments right now. Our tech people work, like, two hours a day, so they're surely out raving right now. We'll have them check on it when they're up at 3 p.m. tomorrow. As for now, just hang in. Let's hope it kicks back in.

12:55: After another patented Leinart scramble — we're starting to just root for him to fall down — ends up in an incomplete, Illini grad Neil Rackers knocks in a field goal, and it's not a shutout! San Francisco 7, Arizona 3

14:00: Forgive us, but we Buzzsaw fan(s) get no joy out of hearing about Edgerrin James' career stats. We went through this shit with Emmitt Smith every week. And Marcel Shipp was better than him too.

14:55: The Buzzsaw has figured out a way to get the ball to Anquan Boldin: Let him just take the snap. He runs it for a first down.

FIRST QUARTER

:05: Greenberg's so cute. He's so used to his radio schtick that he just made a crack about Mike Golic's hair. Hey, Greenie: It's "Monday Night Football." Please don't make any fat jokes either. Anyway, Buzzsaw driving, end of first quarter. The goal of any Buzzsaw quarter is not to be down by three touchdowns. So far so good! San Francisco 7, Arizona 0.

:58: The 49ers run into Buzzsaw punter Mike Barr. A positive offensive play! At this point, we must lament the fact that the Buzzsaw cut Scott Player, who had been the longest tenured Cardinal. He had a single face mask. We'll never see that again. Sad.

2:05: You know, it's really comfortable watching Leinart outside the pocket. Really. It could be worse, though: Kurt Warner is still on the bench.

3:15: Leinart throws for a first down! It's almost like he has receivers. You know, like, Two Great Ones. He's our favorite Florida State receiver who wasn't molested by a relative.

4:45: Hey, nice tie, Greenberg. Ditka has that "I've got turds larger than you" look on his face whenever he looks at him.

5:15: Here's a story we've been wanting to tell for a while. An old ex-girlfriend of ours shares a summer house on the New Jersey Shore with Bonnie Bernstein. We asked our ex if Bonnie knew Deadspin. "Yeah, she really fucking hates you." It can't be good when your ex-girlfriends' housemates hate you more than your ex. That said, "I fucking hate that guy" is the most interesting thing Bonnie Bernstein has said in years. Buzzsaw sack!

6:54: We really can't get over how Greenberg sounds like he's underwater. Are these training wheels microphones?

7:22: Leinart — who even comes across as a douche while introducing his teammates — overthrows four wide receivers and Mr. Met on a third and 10. So far, he's thrown an interception, a ball 20 yards past his receivers and a ball with his right hand. Awesome.

10:15: Both Marcel Shipp and Edge bash through the Niners run defense. We do have a Matt Leinart jersey that we're slightly embarrassed of, but we really wish it were Marcel Shipp. He's been around forever, has backed up every big offseason acquisiition, and still he remains. Since Edge just fumbled, luckily recovering it, we admire him more. Leinart just threw the ball with his right hand, by the way. He still looked better than Harrington with that hand.

11:15: Though the pain, we're loving the 49ers throwbacks. Let's take this moment to pay tribute to the new angry bird of the Arizona Cardinals. It's the second year for the Angry Bird, but you know what? He's no less intimidating.

11:21: And, just like that, it's Frank Gore zipping up the middle for a touchdown. Wasn't that guy supposed to be hurt? The good news: The Buzzsaw has dominated the time of possession, with a gripping "three seconds." San Francisco 7, Arizona 0.

11:30: Matt Leinart's first pass of the year — before they even had the chance to freaking announce the lineups — is intercepted. Here we go.

12:30: You know, we want to focus on the fact that the Ravens just put in Kyle Boller for the key game-winning series. That actually happened. Hey, the 49ers are punting.

13:37: Three plays, two penalties. Welcome to Buzzsaw-49ers football.

14:45: The happiest man in the world to see Kyle Boller in the Ravens-Bengals game? Mike Greenberg. He's been lusting after the MNF job for years, and he didn't want to be stuck in ghetto of ESPN2. Welcome to the show, Greenie! Something is odd with his sound, though; he sounds like he's broadcasting while wearing a helmet.

Pregame

So who wouldn't have known this? The Buzzsaw's one national television game this year ... and it's possible the game before it will go into overtime. Root against overtime, kids, or you're about to suffer the indignity of watching a guy live blog an NFL Gamecast.

So, if you have the opportunity, even though Greenberg's got a lucrative contract with ESPN and a pseudo-selling book at your local Barnes and Noble, he'd really like you to help him pay for his Web site.

And speaking of patronage, running this web site wouldn't be possible without yours. Your not-even-remotely-tax-deductable donation to this site will ensure that we can keep up with all of Mike's latest news, mainly because we'll be bribing him to let us in on the inside scoop. Your donation will also pay for the monthly Web hosting and yearly domain registration, as well as such luxuries for your humble Web designers as actual training in Web site design!

Here's the official donation page. Let's not all storm the gates to contribute at once; you don't want to overwhelm those servers!

Donate To Mike-Greenberg.com [Paypal]

Greenberg and Golic, co-hosts of ESPN Radio's Mike & Mike in the Morning simulcast on ESPN2, are rising stars at home base in Bristol, Conn. Their 7-year-old radio show has expanded to 310 affiliates nationwide. The duo became ESPN's top commentators for the Arena Football League in March and will call ArenaBowl XXI in New Orleans on July 29. Although he praises Tirico, Kornheiser and Jaworski, Greenberg says he would eventually like a shot at the MNF job defined by Howard Cosell, his broadcast idol growing up in New York.

If they're real men, they'll be up for their 6 a.m. show the next morning. No rest, gentlemen! By the way, somewhere, Joe Theismann silently weeps, likely while wearing eyeblack and primping.

ESPN Tabs Greenberg, Golic For MNF [USA Today]
And Your Monday Night Football JV Team Is ... [Awful Announcing]

(UPDATE: Kissing Suzy Kolber has a nice take on this.)

And then they go out and ruin one of our absolute favorite television events. That's right, kids: At the end of this month, the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee will be hosted by ... Mike and Mike.

"Mike and Mike will bring their unique perspective to the Bee Finals - an immensely popular competition," said Bob Toms, vice president of remote production, ESPN. "Their commentary will help us showcase the personalities of these remarkable young people, and the pressure these spellers face as they compete in front of a national Prime Time television audience."

Oh, and Lemme Know is gonna be there too. We no longer feel any guilt; you guys are destroying our souls.

Spell F-A-I-L-U-R-E, Kid [Deadspin]

So says ESPN and ABC Sports president George Bodenheimer, in an internal memo he sent out after the silliness transpired Friday. Here's a section:

The events of this morning were a heartfelt reminder of what a special company we have created and nurture every day. Jason West and Catherine Bennett - two lifelong Florida Gator and ESPN fans - were married in Studio E in a ceremony just as poignant as one performed in any traditional setting. Those of us in attendance were honored to be there, just as they honored all of us with their presence. Their passion for sports was the spark that began their relationship, and their passion and appreciation for all things ESPN was both touching and humbling, and a unique demonstration of the impact we have on people's daily lives.

And the terrifying thing is that he's right: If anything was a "unique demonstration of the impact we have on people's daily lives," it was that. Hey, did anybody else notice the smell of sulfur?

The full memo is after the jump ....

————————————————————————-

memo to all of us here in ESPN/ABC Sports land re Marriage madness:

The events of this morning were a heartfelt reminder of what a special company we have created and nurture every day. Jason West and Catherine Bennett - two lifelong Florida Gator and ESPN fans - were married in Studio E in a ceremony just as poignant as one performed in any traditional setting. Those of us in attendance were honored to be there, just as they honored all of us with their presence. Their passion for sports was the spark that began their relationship, and their passion and appreciation for all things ESPN was both touching and humbling, and a unique demonstration of the impact we have on people's daily lives.

I know you all join with me to wish Jason, Catherine and Jason, Jr. every happiness - beginning with their honeymoon at this weekend's Indy 500 - and in welcoming them to our ESPN family.

Please also join me in thanking the many of our colleagues who will be working diligently over this extremely busy holiday weekend to serve the fans who, like the West's, count on us each day to bring them closer to the sports they love.

To everyone, please enjoy a happy - and above all, safe - holiday weekend, and thank you for all you do to make our company the best it can be.

George Bodenheimer

That "Mike and Mike Wedding Madness" wedding happened this morning, with the two Florida Gators fans hitching up in front of the his-and-her Gators mascots, Bill Walton and a smattering of ESPN2 viewers.

Our favorite part was during the vows: "I was so lucky when you walked into the tailgate that day." Aw, you kids ...

Well, Somebody Better Start Making Golic's Tux And Greenberg's Dress [Deadspin]

(UPDATE: Some sadistic character actually live blogged this thing. Heavens.)

An intrepid tipster sends us this beauty of an invite, encouraging ESPN employees to come to the Bristol cafeteria this Friday for that "Mike And Mike In The Morning" wedding and see the Gin Blossoms rock the buffet line like it has never been rocked before.

Which is worse, we wonder: County fair, or ESPN cafeteria? At least county fairs have rides.

How To Guarantee A Quick Divorce [Deadspin]

Anyway, Greenberg loves the term "metrosexual" — revels in it, even. So it might be of some alarm to him that, according to the New York Times Style section (which would totally know, yo), the new term for metrosexual is, well, "gay vogue." Greenberg's schtick seems to meet all the requirements of "gay vogue," but you get a feeling that he won't use that term all that often.

Mike And Mike In The Morning [ESPN.com]

Off-Mikes [ESPN.com]

We have always been curious about the life that ESPN anchor/radio host/all around nerd Mike Greenberg lives his life. His radio show starts at 6 a.m., where he and professional oaf Mike Golic play out tired Odd Couple gags for four hours. We imagine he's then in meetings all day, grooming, nodding, playing corporate lapdog, before doing the 6 p.m. ET Sportcenter. Sometimes he even does the late SportsCenter; that always kind of freaks us out, like he's had himself cloned or something. Anyway, the ongoing joke between Greenberg and Golic is that Golic is a big dumb jock and that Greenberg is (wait for it) ... a metrosexual. (Sigh. We're sorry. We didn't want to type it either.) Anyway, Mike and Mike are getting the Bill Simmons treatment this morning. No, we don't mean blatant ego-stroking and insecurity soothing from .com brass; we mean they have a cartoon. It's, of course, about Greenberg being a metrosexual. You've been warned.

ESPN Motion: Mike and Mike