It’s a bustling Thursday night in August and I’m with some friends at a sports bar in Murray Hill, enjoying this Phelps character in his bathing pants conquer the world. People are chanting “USA”, the bartenders are pouring free shots, and women are actually paying attention to us. It’s the perfect scene. New York City! America! Camaraderie! Possible three-minute sex—missionary style—on the horizon! Yeah!

But just as the night was picking up and the women’s gymnastics was starting, a text message came through that put a damper on the entire evening: “Chris Russo…done at WFAN…it’s official.”

Sure, I’d heard the rumors all summer. Hell, Neil Best at Newsday had been covering the story like he was Ed O’Neill in “Blue Chips”. But to see the news come through—as “official”—well, I wanted to request “Taps” on the jukebox and bow my head.

Yeah, it’s a bit dramatic. You should never care, be upset, or at all affected by the news that a 50 year-old-man was leaving one sports radio station to pursue other sports radio opportunities. Especially when a group of 6’s (and one borderline 7) are giving you and your friends the time of day. But Russo…Well, Russo’s a different case.

For those who did not grow up listening to “Gooooood Afternooon everybaaaady” and hour-long tales of his adult tennis camp experiences in San Antonio, it may be hard to understand. But Russo was something else. He was your goofy uncle that you gravitated towards, for better or worse. In a way no Mike Golic, Jim Rome, or Dan Patrick fan could ever grasp—Russo was more than a talking head futzing around and screaming about the latest sports news. He was your friend from 1-6 every weekday. He was the guy you and your friends would imitate. He was who you were thinking about—what he’d say the next day—while watching any big moment in any big game.

You loved when he mispronounced a simple last name like Leinart (“Lion Heart”) and never took the time to learn to say it right. You looked forward to his guess at the Nielsen Rating for a Braves-Astros NLDS game on a Sunday afternoon. Though you cringed, you appreciated the fact he’d awkwardly apologize on-air for not taking an athlete to task when he had the chance (as he did with Tomlinson—days after bashing him in the studio—at the Super Bowl this year). And you soaked up those stories of his like you were a kid at the campfire.

Ah, his stories. Russo will spend an entire two hours—as he did two weeks ago—going hole by hole, with the excitement of a nine-year old, detailing the afternoon he shot an 84 at Winged Foot. “On nine, took a rescue club, looked to my friend Dennis, said ‘here goes nothing’….Par!” And for some reason, you’ll hang on to every word, not wanting to leave the car until he’s bogey’d on eighteenth. He’ll go pitch-by-pitch, in agonizing fashion, explaining what he was doing, who he was dining with, where he was—while watching the Giants collapse to the Angels in Game 6 of the ’02 World Series. You shouldn’t give a shit. Really, aren’t there 1,000 more important things to be invested in? But you do.

Believe it or not, Russo was always at his best without Francesca. For two weeks every summer, “Mad Dog” would be in the studio going solo, while Mike hung in Saratoga Springs with Parcells and the horses. Russo had full control, and he’d go berserk. On the Giants (San Francisco, not New York), on Springsteen, on why he loved “Million Dollar Baby”. His legendary Pac Man Jones rant came on one of the days he was alone (albeit in February), and became a YouTube clip for the ages.

Russo’s books—written with the eloquence of a college freshman’s term paper on “Hamlet”—are some of the most enjoyable texts you’ll ever spend an hour reading on the can. Go check out his 5-page venomous rant on Michelle Kwan being one of the biggest chokers in the world in “The Greatest Sports Arguments of All-Time”. Bizarre. Absurd. Maniacal. Amazing.

Russo will be fine. He’ll sign a $3 million deal with Sirius and have his own show. He’ll dress up in the Marquis outfit around Super Bowl time, talk with Bruce from Bayside about Xavier Nady, and go gaga over Matt Cain’s fastball. He’ll make outlandish claims like Zelmo Beaty would be a top-3 center if he were in the league today and scream at New Jersey Nets directors of marketing for lying about attendance numbers.

But it’ll never be the same again.

It’s a shame Mad Dog never got a farewell show on WFAN. It would have been nice to see him exit with a proper hero’s departure. Maybe a Howard Stern-like parade in Astoria, Queens, sitting on top of a float with Jerry Recco and Jerome from Manhattan. Giggling that ridiculous giggle, dancing to Southside Johnny like a freak. I don’t know. Something like that.

But I guess things don’t always end perfectly. Sometimes, they just end.

The duo's contentious relationship wasn't the reason for the split, according to Russo. The New York Daily News suggests Mad Dog already had one foot out the door and was not willing to commit to a multi-year contract with WFAN. It's rumored that Russo will now take over as the marquee sports loudmouth on Sirius/XM radio. But, again, Russo wanted to emphasize that this split was more about "other opportunities" and not the fact that Mike Francesa grew tired of his noisy, annoying co-host. But he won't ever step foot in that building again:

That's it. No goodbye shows, no final shows, no nothing."

Well that seems like a completely healthy and amicable way to end a 20 year relationship with someone.

Chirs (Mad Dog) Russo Out At WFAN [NY Daily News]

• Domo arigato Hiroki Kuroda: Almost perfect. But, alas, the Dodgers' rookie pitcher gave up one hit, 0 BBs, on the way to a 3-0 victory over the Atlanta Braves last night. Says a starstruck Joe Torre: "That was about as machine and robotic as you've ever seen a pitcher throw one strike after another." [Blue Notes]

•Mike And The Mad Dog Get Their Bodies Analyzed: There's still no official word on the fate of the "The Mike And The Mad Dog" radio show, although recent reports suggest the two are close to ending their relationship. Mike And The Mad Blog can't wait that long. They want answers now. So to figure out the fate of their loudmouthed heroes, they called in "The Babe Ruth Of Body Language Experts", Patti Wood, to analyze their on-air interaction for some clues. Her conclusion?" I think Mike is over it (the show). His ego is too big. And Russo is just clueless to how much it affects Mike." [Mike And The Mad Blog]

•An ode to Ricky Nolasco: The Florida Marlins are still hanging around the National League East and a big part of their success has been starting pitcher Ricky Nolasco. Icy Hot Sensations breaks down his success in a most amusing fashion: "Then, after spending about 20 minutes at the party where I knew few people, observing multiple partygoers stepping into the bathroom for 30 seconds and coming out noticeably excited, being thoroughly sketched out with half the party being early 20’s people and the other half being people in their 40’s-50’s accompanied by ladies 20 years younger, I decided to ask what was the fucking deal. My friend informed me that it was her friend’s father’s house, that he was kinda into drugs, and that all the older guys were his dealers and their girlfriends. They started shooting fireworks at each other and the cars driving down the street..." What? Yeah. It's a long intro. [Icy Hot Sensations]

• Floyd Mayweather has an active dislike for Oscar de la Hoya: Floyd Mayweather is not a fan of Oscar de la Hoya. (Maybe Oscar sprayed him with champagne?) And to prove just how much Floyd dislikes him, he offered this message to the Golden Boy in an upcoming boxing documentary: "Oscar De La Hoya, (expletive) you and (expletive) everything you stand for. I don’t like you, you don’t like me." [Larry Brown Sports]

"That is news to me. I have not heard that...That is fascinating information. The only thing I can say is I am signed under contract for another year and a half. I don't think WFAN is going to let me out of that...I wish I had leverage like that."

Like 'em or hate 'em, Mike and The Mad Dog is still one of the most popular shows in radioland and has legions of fans who dig it when two Italian guys have a spirited back-and-forth about sportsy-oriented news. It appears, from the outside, that Francessa is just completely tired of Russo's stage-hogging and back-handed disrespect.

Sportswatch: A split decision? [Newsday]