• # "I never realized remembering our anniversary was so important to my wife."

• "Visions of Brady Quinn dancing in my head. Sweet dreams Baby!!"

• "This economy has hit some of us harder than others"

• "When I signed on for this gig, they promised me a corner office, a couch, one of those Swedish "memory foam" pillows and an extra-extra-large Notre Dame fleece blanket. Well, as you can see, I'm still waiting."

Plucky. But this is the type of photo caption that requires a little more verve, some pizazz or, you know, tasteless profanity mixed with playful cruelty. Whatever makes you happy. Fire when ready.

******

Tomorrow: Page redesign comes stumbling out of the gate tomorrow (allegedly) so everyone will be very confused. Point and laugh (or, most likely, yell in the comments) about the new view. We'll work through it together. Oh, and Drew will be here to numb the pain.

Thank you for your continued support of Dongspin.

I think I have to dumb it down because of Golic. It is impossible to have a conversation on a high, intellectual level with a man whose idea of fine literature begins with Doctor and ends with Seuss.I remember one time I referenced ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ and Golic honestly did not know who had written it or what it was. That was the day I realized, ‘you know, I’m not going to be able to do some things here.’

It must take a remarkable amount of restraint on Golic's behalf to not want to take Greenberg by the back of the hair and just start smashing his face into the console each day. But if Greenberg keeps floating quotes like this while Golic's not around, it might be inevitable.

Mike Greenberg [OnTheDL]

What on earth could have possibly driven the ESPN duo Mike And Mike (or greenberg golic ESPN) to the "On Fire" setting on Google trends earlier this afternoon? I saw this earlier today and thought something preposterous happened on-air this morning, like Golic attacked Greenberg with a mallet. But apparently it doesn't take anything remotely that interesting to have Mike and Mike "on fire" according to Google trends. No, it just takes Greenberg talking about how he was sitting at home Googling himself while he took a sick day to find out all the negative things people said about him. (Honestly, it's not that bad considering their the first to play up the whole ex-jock vs. hair product-slathered weenie comparisons. We all know ESPN has a tremendous reach and this show is extremely popular, but can some quick banter about Google really cause Mike and Mike listeners to react so instantaneously? If so, it appears Greenberg's got some David Koresh-like magnetism stuffed inside that man-purse of his. No wonder someone would pay $57,000 to sit in a room with them.

Enjoy tonight and please come back tomorrow.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin.

Well, it turns out ESPN would rather not have that story out; they've a reference to the incident from the show's podcast. Here's how the call went:

I was driving to work listening to Mike & Mike (only because the local guys on another station were at commercial) and caught Jeff's call. It was nothing short of brilliant. He led so convincingly with the question about the topic they were discussing, then turned on a dime from lamb to lion with a "So Golic, did really you do steroids?" It was such a stunner, I expected the cars humming south with me down I-71 to all screech to a halt. It was almost a Borat-like infiltration of the media machine, it was that good.

I do give M&M credit, the awkward pause was relatively short: Golic jumped in with a "yeah I did for two weeks to try to recover from an injury" with Greenie adding a quick "I don't how that relates to the topic" (or something like that — weenie) and picking up the previous discussion as if nothing had happened.

Seriously, Golic: We don't mind if you did steroids. It's really not a big deal. Greenberg's been doing them for years. But seriously now: It happened. We heard it. It's like Oceania over there. Double plus ungood!

ESPN Erases Jeff From Chicago's Questioning Of Mike Golic From Podcast [Awful Announcing]

Well, one of the people who have fallen ill? "Mike and Mike In The Morning" co-host and ESPN football guy Mike Golic, who announced it on the show this morning. He has been out sick for several days, and today, he confirmed it to co-host Mike Greenberg.

We hope Golic is able to recover from this — salmonella is pretty nasty stuff — and wish him well. Everybody knows that Jif is the best peanut butter anyway. It's what choosy moms choose.

Salmonella Possibly Linked To Peter Pan [Toledo Blade]

To recap: You and your betrothed can actually married life on the radio of a morning sports radio program. In many places, this is known as "spousal abuse," of course.

Since we can't fathom the mindset of a pair of human beings who would go through such an endeavor with a straight face, we encourage you once again to get your applications in before the Friday deadline. We're hoping for some kind of wacky TV sitcom plot, where the justice of the peace accidentally marries Greenberg and Golic, leading to that inevitable, long-delayed moment when the two finally consumate their Odd Couple relationship with some good old fashioned porking. We don't need to tell you who's the top and who's the bottom, obviously.

Mike and Mike's Marriage Madness [ESPN Radio]

The whole thing kind of blows our mind, actually. So, as inspired by some commenters yesterday, we would like to elicit the help of you, our readers. We'd like to see if some of you would be willing to apply for the program. Don't worry: You don't have to actually get married. But we want to hear the stories of how far you got in the process, the absurdity of it all. Since we can't imagine very many people would actually go through this, we have a feeling we can flood the zone and sneak a few Deadspin pucks past the ESPN goalie. We suggest you, like us, just use the application form and then wait to see if you're selected. We want to see how just ridiculous this whole thing will go. Who's with us?

Marriage Madness Application [ESPN Radio]

Turns out, though, that actually the show is hosting a wedding, in late May, promising the "Ultimate Sports Wedding." Yes, you and your bride/groom/glutton-for-punishment can put in your applications by March 3 for a May 26 wedding. They're going to choose 16 finalists, which is impressive, because we can't believe even one couple would put themselves through this.

Just to repeat here: Your wedding officiants could be Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic. That's the most disturbing thing we've heard all week, and we actually like those guys. You realize this means we're only a couple steps away from Stuart Scott asking you if you would boo-yah the bride.

Popping The Question ... [ESPN Radio] (via Gheorghe: The Blog)