Maybe not in Durham, where students have been slightly restless in the three years since Krzyzewski first donned red, white and blue. The last two years' graduates became the second and third since 1985 not to see a Final Four team, and the Class of 2009 watched Tyler Hansbrough victoriously spaz around Cameron Indoor Stadium four seasons straight. My graduating class seems fated to complete the trifecta of dry years. Boo hoo, right? Not even Krzyzewski has pity for the poor souls floating somewhere in a certain tent village's detritus. "If somebody doesn't go to the Final Four during their four years at Duke," he said after the Olympics last summer, "then that's just too damn bad."

Still, we students want a free excuse to visit Indianapolis, and while the Crazies who bow to Krzyzewski when he walks onto the court named after him will dip their heads no matter what, not everyone I know is so reverential. One of my friends was "apocalyptic" Krzyzewski is keeping the Olympic job. Another called the decision "a joke," and yet another asked me to describe Coach K as a "rapscallion." (There!)

The most tepid response, though, came from the person I thought would be the most apoplectic. I say it's fine, he told me. Oh. Well then. But if we're not immediately and senselessly speculating, what are we to do? Maybe, he said, we can dream of an open scrimmage between Team USA and Duke in Cameron. For almost everyone, after all, there's nothing more patriotic than pulling for the Stars and Stripes while taunting the Crazies. I'll be the rapscallion and just hope for a tie.

Sources: Coach K to stay with U.S. for 4 more years [ESPN]
Coach K back with USA [Celtics Blog]

“There was no showing off,” Krzyewski said with an edge in his voice. “You dunk when you have to dunk. They have 7-footers. If you don’t take it hard, Yao would block it. He did block one. … I don’t know your definition of showing off, to me that’s hard basketball. I thought we played very hard. I thought we took it to the basket hard. Don’t confuse hard with showing off.”

You see, those Chinese are sneaky; you never know where they could be lurking. So Dwyane Wade's 180-degree breakaway dunk with his team up by 20, was completely warranted. You never know when Yao is going to appear and block it! From the bench!

You stay classy, Redeem Team.

U.S. versus Angola, as we speak. Where there will certainly be no running up of the score.

UPDATE: Final, United States 97, Angola 76.

Give Coach K An F For Diplomacy [Kansas City Star]

You know, the program here at Duke is unlike any other program in Division I basketball. I know other coaches like to tell kids like you that you'll get starter's minutes the second you enroll here, but we don't do that here at Duke. You may start your freshman year, true, but I'm not going to put you out on that court unless I know you're in a position to succeed. I WANT you to succeed. I WANT you to play at your best. Which is why I'm not going to make any empty promises to you. I'd like to think we're a different kind of program in that regard. Yes, I'm here to help you succeed in basketball, but I'm also here to provide kids like you with a game plan for...

Hey! Hey, ref! WHAT THE FUCK KINDA CALL WAS THAT, YOU FUCKING JEW FUCK! Yeah, that's what I fucking called you! Whatsa matter, you don't like it? Tough fucking shit, you fucking bagel-eater! You gonna kick me out of MY goddamn arena, you fucking piece of shit?! You think the 9,314 people sitting here are just gonna let your Jew ass walk out that fucking door?! SWALLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE OR I'LL FUCKING INTERN ALL YOUR LITTLE JEW BABIES!...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "CHOO CHOO!")

Sorry, bit of business to tend to there for a moment. Anyway, as I was saying, we at Duke don't think of our program as a team. We think of it as a family. But I'm sure a lot of programs are like that. At Duke, we strive to be a bit more unique in that regard. I don't want you to think of the team as a your immediate family, but I want you to think of the rest of the University as your EXTENDED family. The faculty, the students, even the facilities staff. At Duke, we stress the student first and the athlete second. I want you to think of yourself as an individual, and not merely a cog in some big-time NCAA program. It's been my philosophy here for 28 years: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS. That means emphasizing making you a good person, and not just a good...

FOUL! FOUL! FOUL! FOUL! How the fuck did you not call that foul, you fucking Jew mongrel shitbag? What, did you listen to your fucking blackie friend over on the baseline? Where is that asshole's discipline? Was he too busy staring at all the young white women in MY crowd? He's not allowed to do that! TRAIN YOUR GODDAMN NEGROES, LIKE I TRAINED THOMAS HILL, YOU FUCKING MAUREEN-DOWD-READING JEW COCKPULLER!...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "WHO'S YOUR MAM-MY?")

What I hope to instill in you is a sense of self-discipline and appreciation of teamwork on the court that can easily translate to how you conduct yourself in all other arenas of life. I've always said to all our kids, you won't be playing this game forever. I'm different from other coaches like that. If I haven't adequately prepared you to succeed OFF the court, it doesn't matter how many games we win. I want all our kids to have a successful life, even if that means they come here and never step on the court. Lots of our kids have gone on to great careers in fields like finance, or investment banking, or stockbroking, or trading, or investment trading, or financial stockbroking. The options are limitless, and we have an alumni network that is HUGELY supportive. I think in many ways that's my proudest accomplishment as coach: seeing these kids mature into...

YOU FUCKING JEW COCKSUCKER! You are trying to STEAL this game from my kids, you fucking stitched-up twat! This happened all the time to my fucking parents when they were in Poland. Some fucking tricky Jew would ask for their help, but they'd use their sneaky Jew phrasing to screw them over later! I won't let you Jew my kids out of this game! This campus is 10 percent Jewish, BUT WE KEEP THOSE KIDS IN THEIR OWN FRATS FOR A REASON! I'M STRIDENTLY AGAINST ABORTION UNLESS IT MEANS THE GRADUAL PHASEOUT OF YOUR FUCKING SPECIES, CHRIST-KILLER!...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "WE HATED YOU IN JEW-NO")

Now, you're gonna have to work hard. All our kids work hard. But the reason they work hard is because they see the end result of all that dedication. And, again, I'm not just talking about basketball. We're different here at Duke. I want you to dedicate yourself not just to game study, or your classes. I want you to dedicate yourself to your relationships, and your intramural activities. There's so MUCH here to take advantage of, and all our kids do. If you look at our team now, you'll see an enormously diverse group. Some of them are from New Jersey. Some are from Connecticut. Some are from New York. And a couple more are from New Jersey. And they all have divergent interests. Jordan Davidson likes Coldplay, whereas David McClure prefers David Gray. And, the irony is, it's this shared dedication among them all that allows them to be so different! Isn't that amazing?...

TEN SECONDS! TEN SECONDS! TEN SECONDS! His foot was over the line? FUCK YOU. Fuck you and you fucking family and FUCK your children and FUCK whatever children they end up having, which I hope is none. You are a fucking mold on our society, you fucking Jew bastard. You are no longer welcome here at Cameron. I hope one of our students finds you and douses you with kerosene and lights you aflame in front of your wife...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "JEW'RE EN FUEGO!")

So that's the pitch. Like I said, my focus is completely on our kids. If I never win another basketball game again, but kids still turn out great, then I feel like I've done my job. And I think Duke is different in that regard. Don't you?...

Es ist ganz gleich, aus wessen Judenkopf diese Enthüllungen stammen, maßgebend aber ist, daß sie mit geradezu grauenerregender Sicherheit das Wesen und die Tätigkeit des Judenvolkes aufdecken und in ihnen inneren Zusammenhägen sowie dan letzten Schlußzielen darlegen!!!

(slams fist on scoring table)

Die beste Kritik an ihnen jedoch bildet die Wirklichkeit! Wer die geschichtliche Entwicklung der letzten hundert Jahre von den Gesichtspunkten dieses Buches aus überprüft, dem wird auch das Geschrei der jüdischen Presse sofort verständlich werden. Denn wenn dieses Buch erst einmal Gemeingut eines Volkes geworden sein wird, darf die jüdische Gefahr auch schon als gebrochen gelten!!!!

(slams fist on scoring table)

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "DEATH TO THE JEWS!")

Like I said, we're very special.

As Coach K enters his seventh decade of life, with his team struggling as it hasn't struggled in a decade, we ask ourselves: How does Coach K do it? How does he remain so full of life and good cheer? How is he able to continue to bring hope and vigor to millions of sports fans every year?

This link answers it: Coach K succeeds and thrives off the innocent, pure, hopeful energy of the blood of children. Nourishing, life-sustaining ... mmm mmm good.

Happy Birthday, Coach K [NBX]
Coach K Will Eat Your Child [Deadspin]

Also, there's breaking news. Such as the fact that he would gladly give up an NBA season to return to college and play against Duke.

"D'Antoni said that after I scored 54 on them and made my prediction to score 50 on the Blazers that he'd like to see what I'm going to do against Duke. I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I'll give up one NBA season to play against Duke. One college game...that's five fouls, right?...40-minute game...at Duke, they got soft rims...I'd probably score 84 or 85. I wouldn't pass the ball. I wouldn't even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person."

Mike Krzyzewski cut Arenas from the U.S. National team last summer, and Arenas will get his revenge even if he has to pull a Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School to do it. Just one snag in the plan: Which school would Agent Zero play for? We think that Iona would have an opening.

Actually we'd just like to see Arenas attempt to spell Krzyzewski without breaking the Internet.

Arenas Wants To Hand Coach K, Duke A Lesson [MSNBC]
NBA Blog: Gilbert Arenas [NBA.com]

What I've tried to do behind the scenes is say, 'We're with you. We'll see what happens, and whatever happened if you did it, you should be punished.' Giving support does not mean you're choosing sides. Giving support is what a university should do ... because we're in the kid business.

Yes, you can almost smell the graham cracker being dipped into the milk. By the way, nothing in the interview about this, in case you were wondering.

So you know, though: We're in the kid business.

Coach K Breaks Silence On Duke Lacrosse Case [MSNBC]
Does Redick Have Bigger Worries Than The DUI? [Deadspin]

Yes, yes, we know that Duke has been out of the tournament for coming up on a week now, and yes, we know that everybody loves George Mason and that's all that really matters. But that doesn't mean people have satiated their bloodlust for Duke hatred. Witness, this video from a bored student having fun with MySpace. Whether or not you think it's all right to cry, it should be the final piece of the puzzle for you, allowing you to release your Duke hate and get back to your normal life. Until next November, anyway.

Jesse's Videos [MySpace]
Read 'Em And Weep [Sports Guy's World]

But this moving picture, from Redonkulous Links, still cracks us up every time we look at it. For the record, we do not, in fact, believe that Coach K eats children. Though if he did, this is probably how he would do it.

Just to complete the anti-Dukeness, here's a look as to why J.J. Redick is so darned unpopular, in case you needed it in list form.

But enjoy the game(s) tonight. Billy Packer, Jim Nantz and Duke. Gonna be great.

10 Reason Why You Hate JJ Redick [ArmchairGM]
Back That Azz Up [Redonkulous Links]

The Realests has a rather damning, comprehensive post. Some highlights:

David Henderson
Delaware
Status: "Not retained"

Quin Snyder
Missouri
Status: Resigned

Tim O'Toole
Fairfield
Status: "Will not return"

The other four Division-I coaches who learned under Coach K? None made the NCAA tournament. This is not doing good things for Chris Collins' resume.

Ever Shrinking Coach K Tree [The Realests]

No, really.

"Wow, it's been sad," Krzyzewski said [of the anti-Duke sentiment prevalent in the media]. "And I think it's been orchestrated. I not only think, I know it has been."

We know that part of being a successful leader is bunkering in with your charges, insulating yourself away from the outside world, fostering a us-against-humanity mentality regardless of exterior forces. But if there's an anti-Duke bias in the mainstream media, then we, and everyone we know, are aardvarks.

Of course, we're just part of the "orchestration."

Conspiracy Theory: Krzyzewski Angry With Media [Winston-Salem Journal]

The big story from last night's loss to Florida State was the early bum rush of the court by Seminoles fans. There's been a lot of talk lately about the appropriateness of fans running on the court after wins, and we'll say that not only have we never had a problem with it, we find it sad that's it's not as prevalent as it used to be. When the Milwaukee Brewers beat the St. Louis Cardinals in Game 5 of the 1982 World Series, fans had a big party on the field afterwards even though the Brewers only had a 3-2 lead in the series. These days? Go ahead and try to run on the field after the Yankees clinch something; we give you five seconds until the snipers on the roof take you out.

Still: Probably good to wait until the game is over to run on the court. Not doing so gives Mike Krzyzewski opportunity to act all indignant afterwards, and nobody wants that.

Not Going 16-0, Not Going To NIT [Simon Says Hoops]

The Raleigh News & Observer has done a series of online cartoons about the college basketball season so far, but this one might be our favorite: A rundown of other advertisements involving Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski.

You might have thought those American Express commercials were as bad as it got, but wait until you see Coach K hocking eHarmony accounts, Bud Light and, our favorite, iPods. We hear American Express has a whole new batch of ads set up for Coach K in this year's tournament; beware, everyone.

Coach K Commercial [Raleigh News & Observer]