• I'm Not A Doctor! With other NFL coaches falling around him like defenders at the Alamo, Mike Singletary can sit back and smoke a fine cigar today; he received good news following the 49ers' 27-24 win over the Redskins on Sunday, signing a four-year extension to officially become the team's head coach. Singletary, who was 5-4 as interim head coach, including 5-2 over the last seven games, will get $10 million over four years. You gotta put a hat on him! [San Francisco Chronicle]

• Juuuuust Short. Packers' Mason Crosby attempts 69-yard field goal. The kick was in the air so long, they ran a commercial before it landed. [YouTube]

• Parcells' Executive Decision. If Miami Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga sells the majority ownership of the team, as he soon may do, Bill Parcells may opt out of his contract and be looking for another job. The likely candidates? The Jets, Browns, Raiders and yes, your Detroit Lions. [ESPN]

• A Very Brady Monday. So NBCSports is saying that Tom Brady's knee rehabilitation is behind schedule, and his 2009 season may be in jeopardy. Other reports, however, say that the progress on his knee is very good, and all is going well. So, choose your favorite, I guess. [Boston Globe]

While Al Davis burns holes through walls with the power of his menacing glare, the atmosphere just across the Bay is totally different. Despite their 6-9 record, its nonstop chuckles with the 49ers. Proof? How about their final game on Sunday, when the team will not only be wearing throwback uniforms, but also throwback mustaches.

"Every day we go to meetings and we go by these beautiful pictures and we admire these guys' mustaches on the wall," quarterback Shaun Hill said of framed portraits of former mustachioed 49ers, including John Ayers, Randy Cross and even Jerry Rice. While the venture seems like a light-hearted end-of-season gag, it folds nicely into the family-building theme coach Mike Singletary has been preaching since he became the interim coach.

Former head coach Mike Nolan used to give the players Monday off following a win. Singletary has done away with that, preferring that they get together, discuss the game and, well, grow facial hair. His theory is that the team which grows mustaches together stays together.

Is there anyone who doubts that Singletary has a great shot at being asked to stick around as head coach next season? One reason for that, oddly enough, could be David Letterman. The Late Show has three times featured a bizarre skit in which Letterman interviews a faux Mike Singletary by remote TV, the latest one occurring last night. The bit has become so popular, in fact, that they've already taped another one, which is going to air on Friday. An audience member who was at the taping gave us the word.

Singletary has seen the first one, according to the Chronicle, and didn't quite know what to make of it. "I want to see the next two before I say anything," he said.

49ers To Sport Mustaches In Throwback Game [San Francisco Chronicle]
49ers Are Gripped By Mustache Madness [Sacramento Bee]

The newest feature on The Late Show With David Letterman involves an occasionally pantsless San Francisco 49er head coach. "I'm not a doctor!"

You can see Smith pop up from the hit initially, walk a few steps and then collapse; not unlike David Carradine's demise in Kill Bill II. That killer instinct hasn't been around these parts in a long time; it's good to see. Singletary set the tone when he dropped his trousers and showed his team the ass at halftime during his first game as head coach. We thought he was nuts then, but was there really genius within those pants?

It's also fun just to listen to Singletary talk.

"I won't say that it's my team, and I won't say it's becoming my team," he said, "because I'm really trying to help it become the players' team ... Rather than it be my team, it's going to be their team, and then it's going to be our team (the players and coaches). My team would be the third."

Does that make any sense? Does it matter? For long-suffering 49ers fans who have now watched their team win three of their past four, it sounds like poetry.

Tell The Yorks: It's Singletary's Team [San Francisco Chronicle]

Voting will remain open until the end of the first round ... nice and easy. 1-16. It's No. 1 seed Buzz Bissinger vs. No. 16 Mike Singletary. A look at the nominees' 2008 resumes:

No. 1 Buzz Bissinger
Opined.
Loudly.
Discussed.
Made up.
Entered the Hall of Fame.

No. 16 Mike Singletary
Flipped out.
Dropped pants.

Vote! It's all one can ask.

An investigation is underway in San Fransisco, and no man, woman, or child is safe from its reaches. No sir; not for as long as Mike Singletary is around. The Niners' new coach is determined to find out who told the press about his rather hilarious motivational tactics, which have brought shame and ridicule to himself and his family.

Sayeth the Niner boss, who is on the hunt:

"It's unfortunate," he said. "We will find out who is leaking information out of the locker room because what happens in the locker room should be sacred and stay there."

The fact that his pants-dropping was revealed might indicate that an assistant coach or player isn't entirely behind Singletary. Or it might have been mentioned to someone on the outside in a lighthearted way, possibly to indicate how eager the coach was to get his point across. Maybe the source didn't realize how embarrassing it would be to Singletary and the franchise.

Singletary, of course, was one of the hardest-hitting players to ever step on a football field, and could clearly still lay someone out. This will not end well for the poor soul inside that Niner locker room who let this out (feel free to take bets in the comments as to who the snitch is.)

And so, a good night to one and all. Here's to hoping that none of you end up being the person that Coach Singletary inevitably kills while they sleep.

Coach wants to know who bared his secret [San Fran Chronicle]

Not only that, but Singletary continued to rant, with his pants around his ankles, for a full four minutes. He was, thank God, wearing boxers. The 49ers were behind 20-3 at the half, and ended up losing 34-13.

"I used my pants to illustrate that we were getting our tails whipped on Sunday and how humiliating that should feel for all of us," Singletary confirmed in a blog post on the 49ers' Web site. "I needed to do something to dramatize my point; there were other ways I could have done it, but I think this got the message across. "I am excited about having the team back at practice on Monday so we can get back to work."

Oh, and then there's this, from the San Jose Mercury:

For what it's worth, Singletary was dropping his drawers at about the same time the 49ers were honoring former linebacker Dan Bunz.

The only question remains, what sort of boxers was Singletary wearing? I'm guessing one of the following:

Singletary Dropped Pants At Halftime [San Francisco Chronicle]

Hooo boy. The reporter here — I'm pretty sure — is Danyelle Sargent of Fox, making the Gaffe of the Season so far. And what makes this more sad/amusing is the fact that Sargent was involved in a controversy while at ESPN in 2006 when, thinking her mic was dead, blurted "What the fuck was that?" while still on the air. So here's another one for the scrapbook.

Now what probably confused the young lady was this quote, in which Singletary once said that, when first contemplating a career in coaching, the first call he made was to Bill Walsh. But the fact that she didn't know Walsh had passed is kind of unbelievable.

Poor Mike Singletary. This day did not start well and just got worse.

UPDATE: They've taken the video down.

Man, Is This Ever Awkward [Fan IQ]