The interview was ostensibly a commercial for James Toback's "Tyson" documentary, but there were some interesting moments—like when he told the story of his first fight, against a bully who killed one of his pet pigeons. (For real.) He choked up when talking about Cus D'Amato. He talked about not really regretting chewing Holyfield's ear off, and how his incredible rage made him such a great fighter....and a pretty lousy person.

In this clip, Tyson talks about the infamous Barbara Walters interview where Givens flat out called him an abusive husband while he sat there quietly saying nothing. You can imagine how that went over later that night. Mike claims she was just as abusive to him as he was to her—which is probably true—but her fists aren't lethal weapons.

Hard to believe those two kids couldn't work it out.

Oprah Talks to Former Heavyweight Champion Mike Tyson [Oprah]

•Beanballs lead to blows in Beantown, as yet again a batter fails at tackling the pitcher. Tigers rookie Rick Porcello hasn't gotten many breaks yet, but he's shown he's got major league talent when it comes to bodyslamming irate men who look like the guy from Anthrax.

•Virginia Tech RB Darren Evans is done for the year after a torn ACL. And Bruce Feldman's pick of Florida Atlantic comes one step closer to reality.

•Muhammad Ali is going to visit his ancestral home of...County Clare in Ireland? Wonder if Cassius knows the Deadspin C'lays?

•The PGA Tour fined Tiger Woods for verbally attacking a rules official, until they realized that he's Tiger Woods. No fine.

•As if you missed it: here's Mike Tyson giving one of the Jonas Brothers a haircut at the Teen Choice Awards. Just pull yourself away from the Miley Cyrus pole dancing video for one minute.

•Jamie Moyer is a little cheesed at the Phils for demoting him to the bullpen to make room for Pedro. But, c'mon. When you can replace a washed up 46-year-old with a washed up 37-year-old, you have to make that move every time.

•It's the horse race that has everything: Bobby Flay calling the action, and a doomed seagull pinballing off of two jockeys' helmets. The only way it could be better is if it were the 1930s and horse racing mattered.

Of course this could be court-ordered weight gain; you can't sexually harass women if you can't catch them. This was taken Sunday at the Video Game Awards in Culver City, Calif. Most amusing feature of this link: The tab next to the picture of Tyson that reads "enlarge photo." Um, no thanks.

Mike Tyson, The Real Heavyweight Champion [NBC Washington]

For your Morning Wakeup Image we present Austin, Texas TV correspondent and Colt McCoy main squeeze Rachel Glandorf (above right), posing with an unknown friend at a Longhorns game. Thanks to Mr. Anonymous, who also sent the image below of Glandorf with Mr. Mike Tyson (not shown: The pepper spray keychain balled up in Ms. Glandorf's left fist).

Mike Tyson put up $50,000 for a "hit" on members of a vicious Brooklyn drug gang who allegedly shot his former bodyguard to death, a witness testified yesterday. [The witness] said the former heavyweight champ put up the money in retaliation for the June 2000 slaying of Darryl "Homicide" Baum, Tyson's ex-bodyguard and close friend.

Just two weeks after the slaying, Tyson dedicated his knockout fight against Lou Savarese to his "brother, Darryl Baum."

"I love you with all my heart . . . Oh, God, I'm mad," Tyson said at the time.

"We got word Mike Tyson and [another man] had both contributed $50,000 apiece for the murders of Cash Money Brothers," Meyers testified.

Baum was gunned down just a few months after allegedly firing nine shots at rapper 50 Cent.

As you are picking your jaws up off the floor, catching your breath and putting your socks back on your feet, realize that there might not be any truth to these allegations. Remember that Mike has not been charged with anything and he could easily continue living his post-fight career, basking in rotundity and offering psychological help to those who need it.

Tyson In Hit Bid: Witness [NY Post]

Tyson recently offered his services to troubled former Newcastle United star Paul "Gazza" Gascoigne, who was placed in a loony bin two weeks ago after a complete mental breakdown. Iron Mike told the BBC news that he's effectively pieced back together plenty of fragile, eggshell minds and he feels like this is a situation where he can really be helpful:

"I know all about Gazza and I feel I can help him. A lot of top sportsmen have suffered in their private lives, including me, and that is why I want to help. I still see him as a superstar and would like to meet him if he feels up for it."

Tyson says he's counseled many athletes who've been through similar mental traumas (including Manchester U. Star Wayne Rooney) and he's ready to open up his blackened heart to those who need it. He's been there, man, he's been there.

Tyson Offers Counsel To Gascoigne [BBC News]

Naw, it couldn't happen. ... right? Well, of course not. Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield agreeing to fight against each other for a third time? Never in a million ... wait, yeah?

There's some preliminary discussion about it actually happening. And this train wreck of an idea was initially started by ... Tyson. Didn't see that one coming:

In an exclusive interview with the Guardian, Holyfield, who has been the world heavyweight champion a record four times, said that Tyson had approached him, through an intermediary, to discuss a rematch after their infamous second fight in 1997 ended in disgrace.

Holyfield And Tyson In Talks Over Rematch Of Infamous Fight [The Guardian] (via Larry Brown Sports)

No, no, we're not here to talk about buying Tyson's poop; Tyson was sentenced today to 24 hours in jail after an arrest in September. In case you forgot the details:

Police pulled Tyson over after the boxer had spent the evening at Scottsdale's Pussycat Lounge. An officer said he saw Tyson wiping a white substance off the dashboard of his black BMW, and that his speech was slurred. Authorities said they found bags of cocaine in Tyson's pocket and in his car.

There's something about spending 24 hours in jail that's almost charming; it seems like something Sheriff Andy Taylor would sentence somebody to. "Oh, Mike ... there you go again, with the white substance on the dashboard. Here, have some pie."

Tyson Sentenced To 24 Hours In Jail [ESPN]

An "auction house" called Celebrity Skin And Bodily Fluids is selling Mike Tyson's poop. (It's not just his, actually; you can buy Mick Foley's and a few others' too.) They advise being careful with the final product.

For fecal and urine specimens, you will receive 2.0-3.0 cubic centimeters of specimen packaged in a hermetically-sealed transparent plastic cylinder (about the size of a film canister). The contents will be clearly visible through the cylinder. We do not recommend opening the cylinder after purchase, and we cannot be held liable for any injuries you sustain from engaging in this highly risky behavior.

Currently, a vial of Tyson's dung is going for $31. Nice work, if you can get it.

You Can Own A Piece Of Mike Tyson's Poop [100 Percent Injury Rate]

The former heavyweight boxing champion said in an interview that Firoz Nadiadwala, producer of "Fool n Final," had approached him with a script. "Firoz has discussed a movie with me," the newspaper quoted Tyson as saying. "We seriously intend to work toward it," he said, without disclosing any details.

Tyson, 40, danced to Bollywood music at a two-day shoot in Las Vegas last month for a music video to promote "Fool n Final," about a diamond heist. "The atmosphere was very congenial, happy and energetic," the newspaper quoted Tyson as saying.

We think this is a brilliant idea ... though we think it's pretty certain we're going to have a Richard Gere incident. Except, you know, a lot worse.

Mike Tyson Wants To Do Bollywood Movie [Associated Press]

Anyway, he's there now.

A lawyer for Mike Tyson says the former heavyweight champion has checked himself into an in-patient treatment program for ''various addictions'' as he awaits trial on drug charges. Las Vegas Attorney David Chesnoff says Tyson ''needed to get involved in something that would help him with his addiction.''

The Tyson story is neither sad nor tragic anymore; it just simply is, a ball that has been rolling downhill for 17 years now and, somehow, still hasn't stopped rolling. What's amazing isn't that something else bad has happened; it's that they still have the opportunity to happen at all.

But hey, maybe rehab will help. Sure.

Tyson Checks Himself Into Rehab [Arizona Daily Star]

So, here're the mugshots from Iron Mike's arrest. Maybe the Special Olympics could use a boxer this year?

Mike Tyson Popped for DUI, Cocaine [TMZ]
Just Blow Into This Tube, Mr. Tyson [Deadspin]