It's Professional Naked Lady Bobblehead Night

The Las Vegas 51s gave away bobbleheads of Holly Madison, the number one gal in Hugh Hefner's harem. A bobblehead? I can't masturbate to that. [Rick Chandler] » 4/15/10 2:30pm 4/15/10 2:30pm

Greatest Minor League Promotion Ever Ruined By Wrath Of Tebow

The Fort Myers Miracle planned to pay homage to that miracle-maker Tim Tebow tonight, but what happened instead? Try an approaching tornado, an aborted circumcision, and a cease-and-desist letter from UF. God does not take kindly to your mockery. » 8/27/09 3:00am 8/27/09 3:00am

Women, Children Frightened By Giant Hamburger

The official unveiling of the West Michigan Whitecaps' immense 5,000-calorie Fifth Third Burger on Thursday stirred up a variety of emotions, but the following quote is by far my favorite: » 4/10/09 3:45pm 4/10/09 3:45pm

If You've Eaten A Four-Pound Burger, Of Course You'll Need A Giant…

Still grappling with the media frenzy over its monstrous 5,000-calorie burger, the West Michigan Whitecaps, masters of the metaphor, have installed a giant plunger in the outfield that squirts water on fans. » 4/03/09 12:30pm 4/03/09 12:30pm

Minor League Team Invites You To Watch A Game FROM A VAN DOWN BY THE…

If your lifelong dream has been to watch a minor league baseball game from a 1978 GMC van parked just beyond the outfield near a major river, then you're in luck, my fat motivational-speaking friend. » 3/31/09 3:15pm 3/31/09 3:15pm

Use All Of These You Want, You're Not Going To Help Sabathia

As is befitting a team with a mascot named Thunder, the Lake Elsinore Storm (Class A, California League) is giving out free samples of Subtle Butt anti-fart shields at their weekly all-you-can-eat Tuesday home games. » 3/26/09 5:20pm 3/26/09 5:20pm

Sorry, BlueClaws' 'Kids Eat Free' Promotion Does Not Include Beer

What minor league baseball team dares to feed your kids for free at every 2009 home game? The Lakewood BlueClaws. Take that, stupid economy. » 2/18/09 10:30am 2/18/09 10:30am

Mets Welcome Redundant, Gramatically Questionable Triple-A Team

The New York Mets' Triple-A affiliate is now located in Buffalo, where it had been previously associated with the Cleveland Indians. But, I thought the plural of Bison was Bison? [New York Daily News] » 12/17/08 5:45pm 12/17/08 5:45pm

If A Game Lasts Longer Than Four Hours, Please Consult Your Doctor

A reader writes: "Hey guys, So I hate to have to play the "penis" card here, but somebody down in North Carolina needs to be admonished for selecting a logo with some very Freudian undertones." » 12/09/08 12:00pm 12/09/08 12:00pm

Experience The Fun Of Minnesota's U.S. Senate Election Recount With The…

Here's comedian and senatorial candidate Al Franken throwing out the first pitch at a St. Paul Saints game earlier this season » 11/21/08 1:15pm 11/21/08 1:15pm. It was a wise move on Mr. Franken's part, considering that the Saints' attendance that day was 12,450, and he's currently trailing in his U.S. Senate recount with Norm Coleman by only 136…

Ill-Tempered Apple Calls Out Nightmare Ant In Fort Wayne Mascot Showdown

No, this isn't a peyote flashback; the above image is of a real minor league baseball mascot. This as-yet-unnamed, furious-looking apple represents the Fort Wayne TinCaps, the newest member of the Class-A Midwest League. You may know Fort Wayne as home of the Fort Wayne Mad Ants, an Indiana Pacers D-League basketball… » 10/06/08 4:30pm 10/06/08 4:30pm

Come Help The Jamestown Jammers Salute Slightly Flawed Things

If you can't make it out to see the New York Giants take on the New England Patriots in tonight's preseason game, why not do the next best thing?* The Jamestown Jammers » 8/28/08 3:15pm 8/28/08 3:15pm minor league baseball team (Class A New York-Penn League) is holding its gala "Saltute to Imperfection Night" at Diethrick Park, where they will pay…

Jacko Turns 50, Hockey Night, And The Political Incorrectness Of Midget…

And so we come to the close of another Minor League Baseball season. And what a season it's been: We watched babies enjoying beer » 8/20/08 3:30pm 8/20/08 3:30pm, were introduced , and thrilled to the antics of . The Macon Music announced with great fanfare, , their gala Eliot Spitzer Night. We even . My favorite promotion was probably , in which …

It's Over: Minor League Baseball Gives One Candidate The Nod

We have a new President. I suppose they'll go on with these convention thingees anyway, because the deposit on the arenas are non-refundable. But we know who's going to win. Minor league teams in six cities handed out bobbleheads of the two Presidential candidates during special promotions last week, with each fan… » 8/13/08 3:00pm 8/13/08 3:00pm

Bobblection Week 2008: They Bobble, You Decide

Although the bobblehead craze has pretty much swept the globe, countries generally do not use them to select their leaders; well, except for Spain. But perhaps they should. In 2004, a series of Minor League Baseball bobblehead promotions correctly predicted the U.S. Presidential Election, when other so-called polling… » 8/06/08 3:00pm 8/06/08 3:00pm

William Hung Tells All

And she bangs, she bangs/Oh baby When she moves, she moves/I go crazy 'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in history/She bangs, she bangs ... » 7/30/08 3:00pm 7/30/08 3:00pm It had to be this way: Minor League Baseball and the career of William Hung, hopelessly intertwined, so that when you think of one, there is…

Get Ready For British Humor Night With The West Michigan Whitecaps

Welcome to Minor Enterprise. But follow only if you are men of valor. For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a monster, a creature so foul and cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair ... therefore sweet knights if you may doubt your strength or courage… » 7/23/08 3:00pm 7/23/08 3:00pm

Fear Factor In The Northwoods League

A collegiate summer baseball league team called the Madison Mallards was handing out free tickets on Thursday that included all-you-can-eat snack bar privileges; a pretty sweet deal, considering all you had to do to earn it was to eat a dead beetle. The Mallards offered the tickets to the first 250 fans who would eat… » 7/21/08 12:30pm 7/21/08 12:30pm

Please Come To Altoona, Will Ferrell!

Ladies and gentlemen, can I please have your attention. I've just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story. I need all of you, to stop what you're doing and listen. Cannonball! » 7/16/08 3:00pm 7/16/08 3:00pm