Deadspin: miscellaneous

The Metrodome Gestapo

Leitch — Thu, 25 Aug 2005 13:22:43 EDT

People have always hated The Minneapolis Metrodome, and now they have a new reason: It's a Nazi building. So says somebody/something called "Tim's TV," which claims at his/its site, "The Swastika Dome," that the Metrodome has a swastika designed in its roof. Just because we've just discovered this doesn't necessarily mean it isn't a wide and vast conspiracy: The site accuses the original dome designer, Horst Berger, of being a Nazi (he is German, but he also helped design such Nazi propaganda as Madison Square Garden and The Gateway Arch) and secretly sneaking the swastika in the roof. Emails to "Tim's TV" have not been returned, though they do provide a phone number: 612 605 1738. So fight the power.

The Swastika Dome [Tim's TV]

The Trivia That Is Mike Laga

Leitch — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 15:37:35 EDT

This is the final year for Busch Stadium, the home of the St. Louis Cardinals since 1966. Cardinals fans have a million memories of the old ballpark, but the one that sticks out to many is one that no one seems to be able to document: Former first baseman Mike Laga becoming the one man to hit a ball out of the stadium. The unfortunately named Fuck Your Couch blog brings up a point we've always wondered: Did it really happen? There is no video of the game, and no one seems to exist who was actually at the park when the alleged ball was hit.

It seems as if everywhere I turn people are discussing their favorite Busch Stadium memories. And every time, right near the top of that list, sits Mr. Mike Laga, hitting a ball out of Busch, whether they actually saw it or not.

The Legend Of Mike Laga [Fuck Your Couch]

Devil Rays Declare War On Fan(s)

Leitch — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 14:03:19 EDT

One would think that the Tampa Bay Devil Rays would be so happy to have someone actually show up for their games that they'd pretty much let them set up campfires in the bleachers if they wanted. Apparently not: They're now kicking out fans for bringing in peanuts. That's bad enough, of course; when the woman is a diabetic trying to regulate her blood sugar, well, it's time to think a little harder about community relations.

This brings up a legitimate question: Is there anything the Devil Rays could do to get kicked out the league? They've alienated their manager, their players and now their last two fans left. Even our Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals look down at the Devil Rays. We would say it was sad, but when no one is there to mourn, how sad can it be?

Tampa Bay Fans Strike Out [St. Petersberg Times]

HOOGA-BOOM Joins Reality TV World

Leitch — Tue, 26 Jul 2005 10:10:32 EDT

If you are old enough to have watched the NFL back when Brent Musberger, Phillis George and Jimmy the Greek were on "The NFL Today" — and Kevin Nealon's famous SNL mockery of Musberger; "Here on CBSsssssssssss — you will surely remember old Cowboys quarterback Gary Hogeboom. Hogeboom played from 1980-89, backing up Danny White and even once starting a playoff game (a 31-17 loss to the Redskins). No one's thought about him in a while, though longtime football fans remember giggling at his name, pronouned HOOGA-BOOM.

Well, Gary's back; Hogeboom is starring in the next version of "Survivor." He's 47 years old now and a "land developer" in Michigan. The show is currently being filmed in Guatemala. We hope he wears Tom Landry's outfit on the island.

NFL QB Tackles Survivor [NY Post]
Gary Hogeboom [Pro Football Reference]

Mr. T Joins Sox's Regular Gang Of Idiots

Leitch — Wed, 20 Jul 2005 11:41:22 EDT

According to the Boston Herald, the first pitch at Friday's Red Sox-White Sox game is going to be thrown out by Mr. T. Strangely, the big takeaway from this little stunt is that T will be wearing socks. For a guy who we don't remember ever seeing in a shirt, we can't say this shocked us too much.

Sad part is, this might be one of the only ways the White Sox could sell out U.S. Cellular Field. The next night, we figure the Devil Rays will get Murdock to throw out the first pitch, though only for the right price. We also think this will blow Red Sox outfielder Manny Ramirez's mind.

T Time For Sox [Boston Herald]

Wily Mo Pena's iPod

Leitch — Wed, 06 Jul 2005 13:59:55 EDT

Cincinnati Reds outfielder Wily Mo Pena is one of the hottest young prospects in baseball, in addition to having a wonderfully wacky name. He also has rather curious taste in music. According to the great Reds web log Red Hot Mama, when Pena comes to the plate at Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati, the public address system plays Vanilla Ice. According to the only thing Page 3 ever did that was worthwhile, he's the only player in baseball who comes out to Robbie Van Winkle. (His outfield mate Adam Dunn comes out to the theme song of the WWE's Generation X, which is probably worse, all told).

Double Your Fun [Red Hot Mama]
At Bat Songs [Page 3]

Those Scary Raiders

Leitch — Wed, 22 Jun 2005 14:55:36 EDT

The Oakland Raiders. Just that name makes you think of dudes in skull masks, draped in chains, guzzling motor oil and punching their grandmothers in the face. The team added two more malcontents in the offseason: wide receiver Randy Moss — whose Raiders jersey has already become the league's best seller — and running back Lamont Jordan, who begged for years to leave the New York Jets, where he was stuck behind Curtis Martin.

Jordan is a big, bad man, and in the new Sports Illustrated, he is photographed in a sleeveless shirt, looking intimidating. Then the interview starts, and out comes this gem:

If I could date any celebrity, I'd say Mariah Carey. Not so much to date her but just to sit down and talk.... The love I have for her music is incredible.

We can't even begin to imagine what that conversation might possibly be like. Though we hope Jordan's more into the early "Vision of Love" stuff than anything from Glitter. We're sorry: We think Lamont Jordan is a total wimp now.

First Person: Lamont Jordan [SI.com]

Those Crazy Titanium Mets

Leitch — Wed, 22 Jun 2005 11:18:01 EDT

We sometimes suspect that if you told a baseball player that putting a paper clip on each testicle would pull them out of slumps, they'd do it (and maybe even try the nipples too). The latest superstition craze in baseball, according to The New York Times (who would know, we guess), is the orange titanium necklace. That's right. For 26 bucks, you can have a weird wristband type thing to wear around your neck to give you, uh, let's see here, "improved circulation and reduced muscle stress."

How a necklace could possibly do this is beyond us, and considering the team that's wearing these the most are the Mets, well, let's say we're skeptical. The necklaces are designed by a Japanese company called Phitean, and their spokesperson of course spouts the type of mumbo-jumbo that athletes are just dumb enough to respond to.

"Everybody has electricity running through their bodies," said Scott McDonald, a Seattle-based sales and marketing representative for Phiten. "This product stabilizes that flow of electricity if you're stressed or tired. Pitchers are seeing that they aren't as sore. Injured players are seeing that they recover faster from workouts. People are always skeptical, but when they try it, they become believers."

Or, as Mariners infielder Jose Lopez said, "I guess I feel a little happier with it." Which is the same reason we always do this site next to our teddy bear. Oh, and weed.

Try A Titanium Necklace [New York Times]

Look! Singing Baseball Players!

Leitch — Fri, 03 Jun 2005 11:56:55 EDT

This has been out for a while, but we finally heard it today, so we couldn't let it slip by any longer. Oh Say Can You SING?, an album of covers by baseball players, has been unleashed into the wild. Included are:

· Ozzie Smith singing Sam Cooke's "Cupid." His falsetto sounds like his larynx is being attacked by miniature railroad laborers.
· Ben Broussard belting U2's "With Or Without You." You can just imagine on this one.
· Coco Crisp rapping his own song, "We Got That Thing." Money quote: "It was a lot of pressure to write an original track where the lyrics would pass the stringent test of Major League Baseball." Heh.

Anyway, if you buy this, either online or at any Major League Baseball location, you will encourage them to make more, which they say they will "if sales are good." So please. Buy them. It's not every day you hear Jeff Conine sing Stone Temple Pilots' "Plush." (Really.)

Oh Say Can You SING? [Good Sports Recordings]

Royals Somehow Continue To Exist — For Now

Leitch — Tue, 31 May 2005 17:26:01 EDT

According to our calculations, the only two Kansas City Royals fans left on the planet are Rob Neyer and Bill James (who works for the Red Sox now and is therefore divided). This is a shame. The Royals were once one of baseball's prestige franchises and now, writes Baseball Prospectus' Joe Sheehan, they now have no reason to exist. After their hiring of Buddy Bell as manager this morning, it appears all is doomed. Quoth Sheehan:

The Royals are a bad team that has been bad for a decade and shows little sign of becoming good at any point in the future. ... Buddy Bell's contract runs through 2007. I'm certain he won't be the Royals' manager when it expires, but I'm just not sure if it will be because he's been fired, or because the entire organization has ceased to exist. Contraction may just be a mercy killing.

More Royal Incompetence [Baseball Prospectus] (subscription required)
Royals Hire Bell As Manager [Kansas City Star]

MLB Is Down With The Kids, Dawg

Leitch — Tue, 31 May 2005 11:27:27 EDT

Major League Baseball last weekend hosted the second annual (deep breath) "Little League Urban Initiative Jamboree." There are countless things that are amusing about this. Here are a few:

1. This is the first time the words "Urban" and "Jamboree" have been used in the same sentence. (Our mental picture is of Bud Selig picking a banjo in front of a bunch of confused kids in cornrows.)
2. This "urban" event is taking place in the gritty burg of Williamsport, Pennsylvania.
3. It, of course, rained all weekend in Williamsport.

Little League Urban Initiative Jamboree [MLB.com]

The Vanishing N'Awlins Scene

Leitch — Wed, 25 May 2005 10:42:09 EDT

Legitimate question: Is there any point to having sports teams in New Orleans anymore? The Hornets can't draw any fans after just two years in town, the Saints stink and are hated by the five Louisianans who care and now they're the top candidate for the inevitable NFL move back to Los Angeles. Saints owner Tom Benson says he plans to stay, even though the city won't build him a new stadium and attendance is way down. New Orleans has never seemed like much of a sports town to us, though, to be honest, the whole city kind of scares us: We've always been nervous we'd drunkenly step on a voodoo priestess' grave and wake up a frog.

Benson Says He Plans For Saints To Stay [NOLA Live]

How The Suns Saved The NBA

Leitch — Tue, 24 May 2005 17:02:21 EDT

We'll be honest: On the whole, we're not really big fans of self-proclaimed Best American Writer Neal Pollack. (We've always considered him pretty much schtick in a vacuum.) But we must admit, his newly posted Slate piece on the Phoenix Suns is kind of brillant. A longtime Suns fan, he argues that the Suns are the most likable, transformative team in the league. He points out that Steve Nash reads The Communist Manifesto, Quentin Richardson quotes Hamlet and coach Mike D'Antoni is labeled "Coach Pornstache." All in all, the piece is so strong it makes us want to root for the Suns, despite the musical brilliance of Spurs fans.

How The Suns Saved The NBA [Slate]
NealPollack.com [Official Site]

We're Sorry, But For Wearing Arroyo's Haircut To School, He Deserves Execution, Not Suspension

Leitch — Tue, 24 May 2005 14:09:06 EDT

Student Suspended For Wearing Arroyo Haircut To School [Boston Herald]

Lousy Closer Spurs T-Shirt Sales

Leitch — Tue, 24 May 2005 13:56:49 EDT

Danny Graves, the firestarter who was designated for assignment by the Reds yesterday, continues to inspire considerable consternation from his supporters and his detractors. Strangely, his biggest boosters seem to be the teammates whose lives he has made miserable all season; Cincy social climber Sean Casey said it was "one of the lowest points I've ever been involved in with the Reds." His detractors? Everyone else, particularly the entrepenurial folks at the Red Reporter, who are already selling anti-Graves T-shirts. We think Graves hasn't been the same since losing that mullet.

Good Luck With Graves, Cubs [Cincinnati Reds Blog]
Casey Blasts Reds [Cincinnati Enquirer]
We Boo Because You Suck [Red Reporter]

Tillman's Parents Blast Military

Leitch — Mon, 23 May 2005 10:42:00 EDT

Pat Tillman's parents blasted the military yesterday for lying to them about the circumstances of their son's death. Tillman, a former strong safety for the Arizona Cardinals, was killed by family fire in Afghanistan in April 2004. "The truth may be painful, but it's the truth," says his mother. "You start to contrive all these scenarios that could have taken place because they just kept lying. If you feel you're being lied to, you can never put it to rest."

Tillman's Family Rips Military [Arizona Republic]

Creator of Batting Helmet Dies From Something Other Than a Head Injury (Obviously)

Leitch — Tue, 17 May 2005 12:29:51 EDT

Charlie Muse, the inventor of the batting helmet, has died. He worked for the Pittsburgh Pirates for 52 years, mostly as the traveling secretary (his assistant was not George Costanza). "The players laughed at the first helmets, called them miner's helmets," Muse said about his invention. "They said the only players who would wear them were sissies." Wonder whatever happened to the guy who invented the cup ...

Muse, Inventor of Helmet, Dies [MLB.com]

As Long As We Get Hootie In Chaps, We're Fine With It

Leitch — Mon, 16 May 2005 14:20:02 EDT

Burger King Signs Exclusive Licensing Deal With NFL