The resumes:

Lauren Caitlin Upton, Miss Teen South Carolina:

• Recently finished third in the Miss Teen USA Pageant, hosted by Mario Lopez.
• Has her own Myspace page.
• Believes that all U.S. Americans should have maps, such as.
• Will attend Appalachian State to study graphic design. South Africa.

Blowie:

• Kids love Blowie.
• The only minor league baseball mascot who is potentially lethal when not cooked properly.
• Blowie is available for bachelor parties and bar mitzvahs.
• Requires detailed directions (Blowie cannot read maps).

There you have it; a bit of whimsy for you and me on a Friday, but something that is deadly serious to South Carolinians, let me assure you. With luck, one of our two candidates will be in place in time for the state's Presidential primary. It's just too bad that Strom Thurmond is unavailable to make this a three-way race, due to being dead.

Minor Enterprise: Hey Kids, It's Blowie! [Deadspin]
I Can Haz Maps Of The Iraq, And Such As? [Deadspin]

From the site:

The children of the US America are in deep trouble. Because some people out there don't have maps. Such as South Africa. Therefore, you must email us maps to make it better. EMAIL: maps AT mapsforus.org. Our views of Attack of the Show's webpage will encourage our children to believe that there is a future outside of Asia. A future with maps. And such. South Africa.

My favorite map on there so far is the Mt. St. Helens Park/Road Access map, one which I have actually used. And the comments section is fun as well.

Meanwhile, Ms. Upton appeared on The Today Show on Tuesday to face the super-heated journalistic tribunal which is a Matt Lauer interview. And she did quite well (ding!). For our children.

Maps For Us.org
Miss Teen South Carolina Has Discovered The Map To Our Hearts [Deadspin]
Miss Teen South Carolina On The Today Show [YouTube]