I mean, this kid is right up there with Curt Schilling, Tony Romo, Jay Cutler, David Wright, the Pantless Purdue Brigade, and all the other American legends who have thrown themselves in front of fastballs and bikini models so that the rest of us could have a better life. They don't do it for the glory people. Kaleb Eulls did it because he didn't want to see his little sister and all his friends get shot. But I'm sure the other guys had their reasons too.

Kaleb's going to play at Mississippi State next year and that is its own sort of reward, I guess. It's not something cool like free Pirates tickets or anything, but I'm sure it will have its moments.

Eulls saves 22 lives from armed student [Rivals]
Yazoo athlete wrests gun from girl on bus [The Clarion-Ledger]

* * * * *

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Sorry, I didn't get to all your hate mail today, but I promise you I read every one and they are all special to me. Idiot Barking Dog will be back around 9:00 ET with the semifinals of "America's Sexiest High School Football Photos."

This is the only game of the first two days that is alone in its time slot. (Yay!) But it's likely to be pre-empted by local news wherever you are. (Boo!) So check out CBS' moneymaker or your favorite feed provider for your viewing pleasure. Your official Deadspin preview is here; your ESPN preview has an interesting headline.

My unofficial, lightly researched (I looked at the U-Dub and MSU rosters, so now I know how to spell Jacquiese Holcombe) preview: Washington's got a decent inside-outside game with big man Jon Brockman and a triumvirate of height-deficient guards, and Mississippi State plays four guards around their defensive terror, Jarvis Varnado. Varnado had his national coming-out party last year against Memphis in the second round of this tournament, swatting five shots as the Bulldogs nearly upset the Tigers.

MSU's been a trendy upset pick in this one, steaming into this game on a six-game winning streak, but it should be noted that only two of those wins came against tournament teams. The only common opponents these teams had were Florida and Washington State, but U-Dub lost to Florida and beat Wazzu twice, while MSU fell to the Cougars and beat the Gators. That muddies the water.

As always, no one knows anything. (For the record, I picked Washington, and my Final Four is the same as Nate Silver's, which means I'm probably horrifically wrong.)

If anyone can make bingo on Suss' card, horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, put it in a comment and I'll get you a prize. It's true that I will live blog nearly anything, and true that I'm serious about this little gimmick. I've done it before.

And I leave this question to you, commentariat: Should the updates ascend or descend?

5:04 PM: We're live from the Rose Garden. Mississippi State leads, 5-4.

5:06 PM: A Bulldog misses a breakaway dunk. SEC basketball: A legacy of almost being competent.

5:09 PM: Because when I think "printers," I think "desert island."

5:12 PM: Jon Brockman's soft hands and sharp passing get U-Dub two points inside.

5:13 PM: Kodi Augustus is probably not the best basketball player in his family; his older sister is the Minnesota Lynx' Seimone Augustus, who led LSU's women to a national title.

5:15 PM: It seems like every other possession devolves into Calvinball. "Tremendous intensity" looks to me to be sloppiness. 10-6, MSU, with 12:59 left in the first half.

5:16 PM: Have we mentioned that Washington is Krypto-Nate Robinson's alma mater? No?

5:18 PM: Considering Patrick Dempsey's recent brooding turn on Grey's Anatomy, I'm not so sure I want him selling me car insurance. That I watch Grey's and can live blog this just proves that I am in touch with my inner Sandra Oh.

5:21 PM: No, the highest per-second harassment average belongs to Eric Devendorf. Be honest.

5:22 PM: Brockman catches a rebound under the hoop and sinks a reverse under waving arms. He's been quite good early.

5:23 PM: I'm not usually one to care about names, but Ravern? What, were you deciding between Raver and Wyvern?

5:25 PM: I thought Pondexters were supposed to wear goggles and play Strat-o-Matic? Or does that rule not apply when you spell it without the i?

5:27 PM: Color me unimpressed by Dee Bost's stats. I'm the only sophomore in college averaging 32 Twitter updates and 11 live blogs a week. Washington 21, Mississippi State 16.

5:30 PM: Sonic, stomping Coke Zero in the commercial race.

5:33 PM: Speaking of Twitter, here's Jon Brockman's. The most recent pearl of wisdom? "CAN YOU DIG ITTTTT??? Lets go dawg fans hope your ready to cheer! Lets get this one done together!!!!!!!" No time for apostrophes, I see.

5:35 PM: If Isiah Thomas were still a GM, is there any way he wouldn't pick Isaiah Thomas?

5:37 PM: Verb of the Day: "Ramrodding." Thanks, Kevin Harlan! Washington 29, Mississippi State 19, 3:26 left in the first half.

5:42 PM: Not only is setting a screen through an elbow a foul, it is, if my interpretation of that official's gesticulations was correct, quite offensive in several Polynesian cultures.

5:43 PM: Actual Analysis Alert: Washington seems content to give up the baseline drives to MSU's guards, but the 'Dogs have no answer for U-Dub's transition shooting. Also, Quincy Pondexter's been excellent, especially with frontcourt mate Brockman in foul trouble.

5:46 PM: There's the three. Phil Turner bombs away.

5:47 PM: Ravern Johnson will probably hear some "AIR-BALL" chants from the partisan Portland crowd. Washington 35, Mississippi State 27, with 32.0 seconds left in the first half.

5:50 PM: It is important to note that neither of those women was actually touching Tony Stewart.

5:51 PM: Quincy Pondexter, still doing exactly what you wouldn't expect him to based on name alone. He scores and converts the and-one, has 15 points, and leads Washington into halftime with a 38-27 lead over Mississippi State.

5:55 PM: With the demise of Raycom Sports, it's good to see fine sports outfits like CBS' March Madness On Demand halftime crew upholding the mantle of awkward sports coverage. Apparently, Matt Painter is a Gene Keady "deciful." Someone look that up.

6:00 PM: You know, I don't think Mississippi State will be all that shattered if they lose this one. They're in Portland, after all, and that's about infinity times the culture that exists in Starkville, if this documentary footage is correct:

6:08 PM: Why is Jarvis Varnado's name pronounced "Var-NAR-do?" One, that doesn't even make phonetic sense, and two, it eliminates the easy promotion for the Starkville Smoothie King's "Varnado Tornado." (One part Hasheem Thabeet, one part Stromile Swift, if you want the recipe.)

6:11 PM: Pondexter and Brockman are just too much down low. U-Dub is pulling away, leading Mississippi State 44-27 with 17:29 left in the second half.

6:15 PM: "They just can't get anything open." On cue, the Bulldogs knock down an open three.

6:18 PM: Hey, look, a Windows advertising campaign with the same title as another one of my forty blogs on the web of Internet tubes!

6:20 PM: Brockman was a "load" earlier. Now he's "clearing out." You may make the joke.

6:22 PM: Brockman is fouled, and it's Varnado's fourth. He'll sit.

6:23 PM: Venoy Overton believes he can be Tyus Edney. Baseline to baseline, weaving through defenders, and twisting for the leaping lay-in, his coast-to-coast conversion may be the prettiest play of this game.

6:26 PM: Remind me, how did Florida beat Washington and lose to MSU this season?

6:29 PM: I'm supposed to want Star Points?

6:30 PM: The Bulldogs require three tries to put the ball in the basket on a trip, which actually helps their dismal 25% shooting. Prior to that possession, they were 10-of-40 from the field. No wonder Washington leads, 52-35.

6:33 PM: "OVERTON! His NINTH...THREE...of the season."

6:36 PM: Varnado slithers around Brockman and lays one in, pushing his point total to four, which, finally, equals his tally of fouls.

6:41 PM: Brockman looks like John Krasinski was thrown in a blender with Derek Vinyard.

6:43 PM: We just dipped under the five-minute mark. U-Dub is up big, 61-46, on Mississippi State.

6:45 PM: Varnado just notched his fifth block, but, unless his vanguard of gunners starts smoking some threes, it will be for naught.

6:49 PM: See, Axe, Sonic shows that you can do weird without having geyser of armpit sweat.

6:52 PM: "It's hard to shoot when all the ammunition is gone." (Sorry for getting topical humor in your Deadspin.)

6:54 PM: The comments inform me that Raycom is only done with SEC telecasts, and still has a while left on its ACC contract. This should be used in all SEC recruiting pitches.

6:55 PM: Isaiah Thomas' Chris Paul impression is convincing. Washington leads, 68-54, with just under two minutes remaining.

6:58 PM: Washington triumphs, 71-58, sending the SEC Tournament champion Mississippi State Bulldogs home. Huskies Quincy Pondexter and Jon Brockman dominated the vaunted Jarvis Varnado inside, and Washington's little men hassled the Maroon and White snipers all day. Washington will play Purdue Saturday for a Sweet Sixteen berth, and Mississippi State loses its best chance this year to escape from the crushing boredom of Starkville. I feel sorry for them.

I feel sorry for you, too; you commenters had to make up for my funny deficit. But you did so admirably, and I appreciate that. I had fun being a part of this ambitious expedition into Blogfrica (thanks to Suss for organizing this and doing the heavy lifting with the bingo cards), and I hope you did, too. Thanks for being part of it.

2) How they made the Dance After making it to the Sweet 16 as a 5-seed in 2006, the Huskies suffered (as if Seattle hasn't suffered enough) through two mediocre season in 2007 and 2008. They were expected to make the tourney but the season didn't get off to a great start as they went 2-3 in their first 5 games, with losses to Kansas, Florida, and the mighty Portland Pilots. Despite the slow start they have 9 wins over teams currently in the tournament; UCLA, USC (2), Arizona, Arizona State (2), Cleveland State, Oklahoma State, and Portland State.

3) What they are good at The Huskies have an up-tempo offense that led the Pac-10 in points per game at 78.9. They also rebound like maniacs, leading the Pac-10 at 41 per game while the next closest Pac-10 team averaged 33. Finally, they get to the free throw line at an absurd pace. The craziest stat of the year is that UW made more free throws than 6 teams in the Pac-10 attempted. — Porter, Seattle WA

MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS

1) One Night in March Several years before Texas Western beat Kentucky to become the Brown vs. Board of Education of college hoops, Babe McCarthy's SEC Champion Mississippi State team snuck out of the state under the cover of darkness to play in the 1963 NCAA Tournament against Loyola (Chicago), a school that started four black players. They lost the game, but their courage helped advance the civil rights movement by showing that players just want to play, regardless of the color of the skin of their opponents. Some forty-one years later, MSU continued to blaze trails into a post-racial society when it hired the first black head coach at an SEC football program. (We'll just stop there and not discuss that hire any further.)

2) A Time To Kill, Indeed It's rival Ole Miss that gets all the cred for southern and genteel, but the Magnolia State's greatest contemporary writer actually got his bachelor's at Mississippi State. John Grisham was class of 1977 at MSU before taking his law degree at the "other" college over in Oxford. He spent seven years serving as a Democrat in the Mississippi House, but it was his first manuscript about the rape of a young girl and her father's response that sent him on to worldwide acclaim. Grisham's novels have now sold over 250 million copies worldwide, and he still lives in Mississippi.

3) Eraser Man You Don't Know Everyone knows UConn's Hasheem Thabeet puts the fear of Russell in would-be lane drivers, but it's MSU 6'9", 210-lb center Jarvis Varnado, who with his 7'4" wingspan and uncannily quick elevation off the floor, led the nation this season in blocked shots with 4.7 sendbacks per game. He broke the 7'1" Shaquille O'Neal's SEC record for blocked shots in a season during the SEC Tournament, where he upped that average to 5.5 per game in the Bulldogs' four wins. Varnado is a trip-dub threat each time he walks onto the court, having had two games this season where he missed the mark by a mere two blocks. Washington may feel it has an advantage with the much burlier Jon Brockman underneath, but the Huskies would do well to remember that Varnado rejected five of national runner-up Memphis' shots in a second-round game last season. — Rush The Court

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MISSISSIPPI STATE BULLDOGS

1. Erick Dampier, Basketball Guru. Mississippi State's best postseason performance came in 1996. (Insert high-larious joke about Dishwalla, the movie "Bulletproof," or Bob Dole here) The Bulldogs won the SEC tournament by surprising eventual national champ Kentucky in the conference finals. They then went on to reach the Final Four in the NCAA's, defeating #1 seed UConn and #2 seed Cincinnati before losing to Syracuse in the semifinals. The team was led by center Erick Dampier, also known as "Damp" or "Contract Year," guard Darryl Wilson, and halfway possessive forward Dontae' Jones. Jones, a junior college transfer, risked being ineligible before the season, but, through the miracles of big-time college basketball, managed to pass thirty-six (freaking! and totally legitimate!) hours of coursework over the summer in order to qualify. Also, Dampier visited my middle school one time to recruit participants for some skills camp he was running, and he had, like, the biggest head I've ever seen on anyone ever.

2. Just Not Ready For a Commitment. In the late 90's and early aughts, lots of high school basketball players skipped college and went directly to the NBA. It's doubtful that any college program was a bigger loser as a result of this than Mississippi State. Over the years, the Bulldogs lost out on three top players—Jonathan Bender, Travis Outlaw and Monta Ellis—all of whom committed to the Bulldogs
before telling MSU, "It's been real, baby girl, but I'm not ready for a 'relationship' relationship." On the flipside, State might have been the biggest beneficiary of the 2003 Dave Bliss-Baylor Scandalgate Funktacular, as it freed Lawrence Roberts to transfer to State without having to sit out a year. He subsequently won the SEC Player of the Year Award and the hearts of Bulldog fans everywhere.

3. The "Voice of the Bulldogs." Jack Cristil has been the play-by-play announcer for State basketball games since 1957, and for football games since 1953. He started calling games so long ago, it was the Stone Age. No, but seriously, it wasn't the Stone Age...it was the Ice Age! No, really, it was the Stone Age. Cristil got his start before the era of sportsertainment, as evidenced by the fact that, oh, I don't know, listening to his broadcasts is actually enjoyable. The man in old school in the best sense. Upon his hiring, then-AD Dudy Noble told him, "Boy, here's what I want you to do. You tell that radio audience what the score is, who's got the ball and how much time is left and you cut out the bullshit." Where, oh where, is that voice of reason when our hype-machine-lanced sports world needs it most? — David Newman

OREGON DUCKS

1. Should of Just Been a Duck. The Oregon student section, or The Pit Crew, was awesome enough to get mentioned (with an accompanying picture) in Sports Illustrated as one of the nastiest, most verbally abusive, over-the-line student sections in the country. Oh wait, not so awesome. When Portland native Kevin Love made his way up to Eugene in January, The Pit Crew exacted their revenge on his going to UCLA instead of Oregon (where daddy Stan played with Ernie Kent) by posting his cell phone number on Facebook (leading to death threats), throwing things at his family in the stands (including his Beach Boy uncle, Mike Love) and chanting things about Kevin Love that I won't get into here. Ok fine, they insinuated that he enjoys the peen.

2. The Phil Knight Dome. McArthur Court has been around for 80ish years and is falling apart. Beyond the clear structural issues, it's apparently partially overrun with insects and features what are probably the least appealing locker rooms and press areas in the country. Will Phil Knight stand for that any longer? No, no he won't. Plans are now all but finalized, thanks in part to Uncle Phil donating, you know, like a hundred million dollars to the Duck Athletic Fund. Scheduled to open in 2010ish, the new arena, which will be built on land now occupied by a bread factory next to campus, will be the most expensive ($200m) college arena ever built. There's talk of it housing two playing areas, one regular 12,500 seater and a smaller gym for volleyball and other miscellaneous activities. As far as anyone can tell what $200 million buys you arena-wise, the mockup looks like some sort of cross between the Death Star and a Brita Water Filter.

3. Fun Duck Facts. Ray Schafer, an Alaskan 7-footer, is married and has his wife rebound for him when he practices alone in the arena at night ... Freshman PG Kamryn Brown hurt himself playing in a pick-up game at the Rec Center in the middle of the season ... Aaron Brooks was really good last year, and they're not as good without him ... Oregon got new uniforms midway through the season (blacks, yellows, greens, and whites) and the names are on the backs are printed in same color as the jerseys themselves ... Since growing a beard for the season, Maarty Leunen has been the best and most consistent player for the Ducks ... Freshman SF Drew Viney looks like he's 14 years old ... Senior PF Mitch Platt looks really funny and pale in one of those skin-tight Nike under-jersey shirts. — Dan Rubenstein

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2. Just Not Ready For a Commitment. In the late 90's and early aughts, lots of high school basketball players skipped college and went directly to the NBA. It's doubtful that any college program was a bigger loser as a result of this than Mississippi State. Over the years, the Bulldogs lost out on three top players—Jonathan Bender, Travis Outlaw and Monta Ellis—all of whom committed to the Bulldogs
before telling MSU, "It's been real, baby girl, but I'm not ready for a 'relationship' relationship." On the flipside, State might have been the biggest beneficiary of the 2003 Dave Bliss-Baylor Scandalgate Funktacular, as it freed Lawrence Roberts to transfer to State without having to sit out a year. He subsequently won the SEC Player of the Year Award and the hearts of Bulldog fans everywhere.

3. The "Voice of the Bulldogs." Jack Cristil has been the play-by-play announcer for State basketball games since 1957, and for football games since 1953. He started calling games so long ago, it was the Stone Age. No, but seriously, it wasn't the Stone Age...it was the Ice Age! No, really, it was the Stone Age. Cristil got his start before the era of sportsertainment, as evidenced by the fact that, oh, I don't know, listening to his broadcasts is actually enjoyable. The man in old school in the best sense. Upon his hiring, then-AD Dudy Noble told him, "Boy, here's what I want you to do. You tell that radio audience what the score is, who's got the ball and how much time is left and you cut out the bullshit." Where, oh where, is that voice of reason when our hype-machine-lanced sports world needs it most? — David Newman

The Alabama-Mississippi State game took an abrupt halt as a billowy noise shook the stadium and random parts of the ceiling descended like manna. Dirty, inedible manna. And The Sporting Blog's Orsonspencer Swindlehall was in attendance:

Of the things I'd never thought would cross my mind, this thought's up there: am I going to die sitting three chairs down from Bill Raftery and Verne Lundquist? Is that Cloverfield coming to eat us all? How many of the sportswriters surrounding me can run to the bowels of the Georgia Dome without tearing an ACL? And if we're trapped here, which ones will I eat for food?

The game eventually resumed, which Mississippi State won in overtime, but it completely pushed back the Kentucky-Georgia game until this afternoon, which is being held at Georgia Tech's arena. The winner of that game has to play again tonight against Mississippi State. (Note: I once played four 8-end games of tournament curling in one day. So two basketball games in one day is doable. Babies.)

And now, video of the weather as it unfolded, via Loser With Socks:

Game Interrupted By 'Hailnado' at SEC Tournament [The Sporting Blog]

Even as we remember that sometimes college football can be boring, and even though the real LSU excitement comes next week, we'll be watching. August is almost over, folks; life begins again, anew.

One of the main reasons to enjoy the College World Series: The brilliant, obviously university-educated, fan signs in the crowd. That one's from a Mississippi State fan.

And here's a Oregon State booster: