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mlb.com blogs
mlb.com blogs
Louie DePalma Would Be Proud
Our friends over at MLB Blogs aren't really good for much — Tommy Lasorda's blog offers no real insight on the recent Dodgers signings (aside from a photo of Lasorda standing next to Nomar Garciaparra), and Mark Tremonti had nothing to say on the Johnny Damon situation, even though the two are next-door neighbors. But kudos to Inside Pitch, which not only posts regularly, but actually breaks news. The site is operated by a New York City cab driver, who's been giving up-to-date info on the transit strike — including the news yesterday that the Transit Workers Union was recommending a return to work. It's like we always say: You want to know what's going on, you ask the cabbie. More »
mlb.com blogs
Oh Oscar, Oscar, Oscar ...
Time to check in with our old friend, MLB Blogs. Well, we see that they've gone institutionally insane. Interesting.Jack Klugman is now blogging. And not about baseball, really — just hawking his book on Tony Randall, and telling Jackie Gleason stories. Actually, he's podcasting Jackie Gleason stories, and there's a sentence we'll bet you never thought you'd read in a sports blog. Or anywhere. So, for the record, now appearing on MLB Blogs: Mark Tremonti, Jack Klugman, Elton John's road manager ... you can almost hear the crack of the bat and smell freshly cut outfield grass, can't you?
Klugman's Korner [MLB Blogs]
baseball
MLB.com Is Rocking Your Genitals Off
In one of those stories that are almost too much for our weak dispositions to handle, it appears that MLB.com has hooked up with its real world equivalent in hipness: Scott Stapp! The former Creed lead "singer" is doing an early sale of his new "album" exclusively on MLB.com. This is like learning that A.C. Green and Kurt Warner are actually really good friends. More »
baseball
Tommy Lasorda's World Still Quiet, Full Of Penne
The Los Angeles Dodgers are very close to hiring a new general manager, the team leaning toward current assistant GM Kim Ng or assistant San Francisco Giants GM Ned Colletti to succeed Paul DePodesta, according to the Los Angeles Times.Of course, in the latest post over on his blog at MLB Blogs.com, Tommy Lasorda is all over the story.
"The close of the season came yesterday, as the Chicago White Sox beat the Houston Astros in the World Series. I would like to thank the 74 million fans across the country, and around the world, who attended a ball game this summer. I hope you enjoyed the season as much as I did." More »
mlb.com blogs
Welcome To The MLB Blogs Animal Farm
MLB Blogs, your crimes are many — just the Tommy Lasorda blog alone would make sure no jury would acquit you of anything. But we thought that even you wouldn't stoop to this. They've taken a small dog, you see, and formed an MLB Blog around it. Look! The dog is writing about baseball! And using doggie phrases such as "Hardly the pick of the litter" and "makes me want to lick 'em." (Aren't they supposed to ban phrases like that?) More »
mlb.com blogs
MLB Blogs Steamrolls The French
You think that you live in America, land of the free, where a kid can grow up to be anything he wants to be, and home loan fixed equity interest rates are still available at a low 5.23 percent. But exactly how far do our freedoms extend? More »
mlb.com blogs
MLB Blogs Staff Sees All
Earlier, we finally got fed up with watching MLB Blogs from the sideline and just started our own, mostly out of curiosity for what words and phrases we could get away with putting up there before the Selig Army went after us. We titled our page the same as a rather famous loathsome manifesto — it was that or something involving NAMBLA; it was a tough decision — and figured it would be days until anyone noticed. More »
mlb.com blogs
Let's Get Some Life In This Joint!
Even though there's only a week left in the regular season, MLB Blogs still wants you to sign up for a blog on their site. It says so, right up there at the top of their homepage. And coincidentally, we have just 24 hours to foolishly spend $4.95, sort of like in the plot to the movie Brewster's Millions.So let's go start an MLB Blog! Come on! Who's with us?!
(Sound of crickets).
Fine. We'll go by ourselves. More »
mlb.com blogs
Brian Kamenetzky Gets Lost
Brian Kamenetzky is a man of many talents. He has a new book (Fishing on the Edge, written with his brother Andrew), he's a regular contributor to ESPN Magazine and ESPN's legendary Page 2, and he has an MLB Blog. More »
mlb.com blogs
Tommy Boy Returns!
World Deadspin Headquarters — usually a dank, gloomy sort of place, not unlike Dracula's castle or the DMV — feels like Disneyland today. That's because Tommy Lasorda is back at the controls of his MLB Blog.We can hardly contain our excitement. Tommy, who is supposed to be running the site's signature blog, has been missing since July 27 — a 56-day absence which had us imagining all sorts of gruesome scenarios. But he's back, and falling all over himself apologizing.
"I've missed communicating with you; I've missed talking baseball with you, especially in the midst of the pennant race; I've missed hearing from you; I've missed blogging."
Damn it, we promised ourselves we weren't going to cry. Where was Tommy? Well, for three of those days he joined Gloria Estefan, Andy Garcia, Jimmy Smits and Daisy Fuentes on a "goodwill relief tour" of three shelters in Baton Rouge and Biloxi. The practical reasons for this trip are unclear — apparently they just showed up and glad-handed the populace. No gaudy displays of charity for Tommy, like bringing the folks some food or something. Because, you know, there are other kinds of nourishment: More »
mlb.com blogs
The English Patient
Far be it from us to get all Alistair Cooke on you — we make mistakes too, after all — but it's time something was said. The English language is not a toy, and spell-check was invented for a reason. Yes, we're referring to you, MLB Blogs. And specifically to you, Matthew's Nation.A recent post: "The problem is simple, Boston needs to look at their ballpen and fix it. It horrible and if they want to win another championship this year, their ballpen has to come threw. "
And: "This article by Sean McAdam which I like him with WEEI's sport cast in the afternoon however, I must dissagree with the theme of the article because both pitchers are different in their own right."
Our duty is clear: to invade Matthew's Nation and restore grammatical order. It won't be easy. We know what we'll find when we get in there — sentence fragments littering the landscape. Nouns and verbs at each other's throats. Unnecessary commas whoring themselves on street corners ... get away from that sentence structure, it's gonna collapse! ... We have to hurry. Because even Frankenstein is reading Matthew's Nation and saying: "This not make sense."
Matthew's Nation [MLB Blogs]
mlb.com blogs
Anarchy Reigns At MLB Blogs
Has anyone seem Tommy Lasorda? We're starting to get a little worried — he's supposed to be running the flagship blog at MLB Blogs, but hasn't posted since July 27. One imagines his tan Sierra found abandoned in Laurel Canyon, the driver's side door hanging open suspiciously and a trail of fast food wrappers leading into the woods.And Casey Stern, your host on Under the Lights, hasn't posted an MLB radio spot since August 26, and hasn't blogged since July 22. In fact, there don't seem to be any adults on the premises at all, leaving MLB bloggers to run wild, posting crap like this. And this.
Anarchy reigns. You kids knock it off and go to bed!
Tommy Lasorda's World [MLB Blogs]
mlb.com blogs
We've been following the MLB Blog l'ecriture sans calmants for some time now, and we have to say, we're a fan. We love the fact that it's written entirely in French. And we love that the author, Pascal Uccelli, seems to be a hopeless and inept gambler (allow us to translate):
We love that his typical post is becoming more and more like a screening of The Aristocrats:
We also admire his devotion to the art of motion pictures ("Depardieu affirms that it has not drunk any more for six months") and to world politics ("UNO could seize Iranian nuclear file.").
But most of all, we love the fact that MLB.com is oblivious to the whole thing. It's in French, after all, and to translate it would take effort. Here's to you, Pascal Uccelli. Longs de phase et prosp rent!
l'ecriture sans calmants [MLB Blogs]
The French Connection
We've been following the MLB Blog l'ecriture sans calmants for some time now, and we have to say, we're a fan. We love the fact that it's written entirely in French. And we love that the author, Pascal Uccelli, seems to be a hopeless and inept gambler (allow us to translate):"The Giants the Sox the Cardinals the Brewers the Jays the Tigers all lost, my balance is low."
We love that his typical post is becoming more and more like a screening of The Aristocrats:
"I do not want any more of my cock which you would cherish in the vagina. I do not want to kiss to lick to be juicy."
We also admire his devotion to the art of motion pictures ("Depardieu affirms that it has not drunk any more for six months") and to world politics ("UNO could seize Iranian nuclear file.").
But most of all, we love the fact that MLB.com is oblivious to the whole thing. It's in French, after all, and to translate it would take effort. Here's to you, Pascal Uccelli. Longs de phase et prosp rent!
l'ecriture sans calmants [MLB Blogs]
mlb.com blogs
Welcome To Phoenix. We Hate The Home Team Here
Baseball blogs come in a few basic varieties. You have the committed fan (Bleeding Pinstripes), the starry-eyed kid (Look Who I Just Interviewed!) and those who have given up entirely and abandoned all perspective and self-respect (I Am Begging the Cardinals to Win the World Series).But rarely do you see one like Diamond Hacks, an MLB Blog which seems to exist solely to mock the home team. Indeed, Diamond Hacks' logo is an Arizona Diamondbacks trash can. Every post is a vitriolic hate letter to the Diamondbacks, with most of the author's venom reserved for one unfortunate "Diamond Hack" in particular:
"The stadium roof retracts in less time than it takes Shawn Green to fully uncoil his gargantuan uppercut, complete with overblown wiffleball style hitch. The Almighty Swing is so time consuming that it uniquely requires Arizona's RFer to commit to his next looping arc while still finishing his backswing from the previous pitch."
So disgusted is our blogger that he sometimes even turns the gun on himself:
"Welcome to DiamondHacks, where I, an idle, arguably friendless "loser" pontificate ad nauseum on all things Diamondback. I genuinely feel sorry for you for being here — couldn't you be advancing a meaningful relationship, or at least mowing the lawn?"More »
mlb.com blogs
Charting The Stars With Andrea Mallis
Are you a professional athlete? Are you seeking balance in your life? Is Venus entering Scorpio in your house of partnership? Well, you probably need the services of a qualified sports astrologist. If only we knew where one could be contacted.Wait! We're in luck! Andrea Mallis is a professional sports astrologist with her own MLB Blog. She's charted the stars for the stars since 1983 and has appeared on ESPN's Baseball Tonight, SportsCenter, and ESPN's vaunted Page 2. And now she has a site on MLB Blogs. Come on in, the stargazin's fine!
If you're a pro athlete, and your planetary configurations are in need of a tuneup, this is obviously the place to go. Among other things, Mallis claims to have predicted the Boston Red Sox's 2004 World Series triumph. Samples of her readings include those of Barry Bonds: "Bonds is a dramatic Leo — a sign of oversized egos — who needs to rule the roost." And then there's this, on Mike Piazza:
"Currently on the DL with a broken hand, Mike's mid-life crisis has begun — a time to let go of whatever has outlived its creative usefulness. Neptune (planet of confusion) is also in challenging aspect to Mars (energy), springing a leak in Mike's physical energy."More »
mlb.com blogs
Today In MLB Blogs
Zack Hample is quite insane, of that we're certain. He has close to 3,000 baseballs in his house, from 40 different ballparks. So obsessed is he that he's even posted a map of Costa Rica on his site, with arrows pointing to the exact site of the Rawlings baseball factory. We know he's planned his advance on that factory, just as Patton did in Sicily. Monty must not beat us to Turrialba!But there are also other, less frightening items on Hample's MLB Blogs site, such as his list of MLB jerks. Among them, Rick Reed, Marvin Freeman, Hector Villanueva and Barry Bonds (Hample says he once witnessed Bonds leaving a dozen kids waiting outside his stretch limo for an autograph, then told them to "chill" and left without signing).
And, of course, no list would be complete without John Rocker.
"Shea was an interesting place when the 1999 Braves came to visit. Rocker cursed at fans. Rocker spat (from a distance) at fans. Rocker gave 'the finger' to fans. Rocker threw balls AT fans. Rocker grabbed his crotch at the entire bleachers section. (Perhaps, he was irked by the homemade sign that said "ROCKER LIKES COX.")"More »
mlb.com blogs
